Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
The birthday party dinner was a disaster before it started. Matt was scheduled to pick us up on his way home from work. No later than 6 PM. It had been over a week since I had seen him.
Now it was half past six, and there was still no sign of him. Nor had he answered any of my texts or phone calls. I paced the length of the kitchen in my heels, while Jackson sat silent, waiting for me to make up my mind.
Finally, after the second text from Julie asking where we were, I said, “I guess we should go. We're running late. Matt's just going to have to meet us there.”
Jackson drove. The restaurant was typical Julie. Elegant, expensive. Dark lighting with a French menu. We walked to a private room in the back of the restaurant. There were 15 people around the huge table, and to my dismay, most of the people were Julie’s friends, not mine .
“Emily,” Julie squealed, as she rushed up to me. She was wearing a beautiful slinky red dress that showed off her body to perfection.
I was enveloped in a scented hug before she turned her attention to Jackson. She clung to his arm.
“Everyone, this is Emily, and this is Jackson.”
Beth walked over and lightly touched my arm.
“Happy Birthday.” She pulled me into a warm hug.
“I'm so glad you are here,” I said into her ear.
“I don’t know anyone here, do you?”
I gave her a tight smile. “Not really.”
“Where's Matt?”
I shook my head. “No idea.”
Julie dragged Jackson around the table, making introductions.
“Come on, I'm sitting over here.” Beth walked me to one end of the table. There were two empty seats next to her. One for me, one for Matt. Julie pulled Jackson to sit with her on the other end of the table. Beth and I chatted together while waiters circled the table, taking everyone’s food order. It seemed like the entire room knew each other.
“I kind of feel like I crashed someone else’s birthday party,” I said under my breath.
Beth rolled her eyes. “Seriously.”
The meal lasted forever. The food was good, but the service was slow. At least everyone seemed to be having a good time. I watched as Julie threw back her head with laughter and hung onto Jackson’s arm. He seemed to be holding his own.
“Someone has had enough to drink,” Beth said, as Julie batted her eyelashes at Jackson.
I discretely checked my phone. No texts from Matt. He had yet even to acknowledge that it was my birthday.
Everyone sang happy birthday to me. Super awkward since I was celebrating my day at a table full of strangers.
“Now it’s time for champagne,” Julie announced. We all waited while waiters dutifully passed out glasses of champagne to everyone .
Julie stood up. “I would like to make a toast, to my dearest friend, Emily.”
I gave a smile back. I wanted to go home and crawl into bed.
“Emily, do you remember your 19th birthday?”
Oh no.
“Let’s leave that one in the past,” Beth sounded terse.
Julie tossed her hair and looked around the table. “But it's such a fun little tale.”
I licked my lips. She wouldn't go there. Would she?
Julie touched her neck. “I guess most of you didn’t know Emily when she was younger. She was such a shy timid little thing. Never had a boyfriend. And she had an enormous crush on this guy. Was he a football player?”
I swallowed. “Hockey player.”
She laughed. “That’s right. He was the star hockey player. You knew his class schedule by heart, didn’t you?”
Jackson was watching me with a hard-to-read expression on his face.
Nerves made my hands shake. “It was just a little crush.”
“Little crush? You don’t do little crushes. You obsessed over him for months.” She looked around the table. “For example, she knew that at 11 AM, on Tuesdays, he would be coming out of one class, so she always stationed herself at a table in the cafeteria right where he departed. And when he walked out, she would stick her nose in her books and not look up. It was adorable.”
“I'm pretty sure no one cares about that,” I said in a small voice. Except the entire room was listening.
“One day, and I have no idea how she managed to work up the nerve when he was walking by, she found the balls to talk to him. And she invited him out on a date.” Julie put her hand on her heart. “I was so proud of my little Emily. What she didn’t tell him was that she invited him out on a date on her 19th birthday.”
I rubbed my forehead, avoiding Jackson’s eyes. “It was a long time ago. ”
“She must have tried on at least 20 different outfits. I had never seen her that excited before in my life.” She gave the table a sympathetic look. “He stood her up.”
This was the mean Julie that I tended to avoid at all costs. For some reason, I knew the worst was yet to come.
“Julie,” Beth warned.
“How long did you sit in that restaurant, waiting for him to show up?”
My face was on fire. “Not too long.”
“Our little Emily has always done that. She falls for a guy from afar, and once she has a crush on someone, it's game over for her. She falls hook, line, and sinker. It’s the most adorable thing you could ever see.”
“So here is to Emily. The one who loves silently from afar. Cheers everyone. May this next crush of yours never find out.”
I worked my throat to swallow. All eyes turned to me. My lips parted in an attempt to smile, but I felt like a hyena baring my teeth in fear.
“You can’t leave us with a cliffhanger like that,” someone said, from down the table.
Julie’s eyes glowed while she toyed with her necklace. “I always thought that if only I had intervened on your behalf with your hockey player, you might have had better luck.”
I shook my head slowly. “Julie. No.”
My heart beat in my throat. I knew what was coming, but I had no idea how to stop it.
She turned and placed one hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “So, I feel like it is my duty as Emily’s friend to let you know that she has the most adorable crush on you.”
“Holy fuck,” Beth breathed beside me.
I could feel myself break into a sweat. My mouth was like sandpaper. I was so mortified. I couldn’t even handle it. This was my worst nightmare. I had never wanted Jackson to know how I felt. I never wanted him to see how stupid and giddy and ridiculous I was for him. It was one of those fight or flight moments, and I wanted to flee, but my body refused. I was unable to move. So I just sat there.
Beth stood up beside me and looked around. “Well, that was just a mean bullshit story.”
“It’s the truth,” protested Julie.
“Truth or not, it doesn’t excuse you from humiliating Emily like that.”
“The truth needs to be out there,” Julie argued. “Considering she’s engaged to his friend.”
Gasps sounded around the table. I could not seem to bring myself to look at Jackson. I doubted I would ever be able to look at him again.
I stood up, feeling drunk even though I had only had half a glass of wine. I wavered on my heels. I needed to walk out of here, but I couldn’t seem to move. Julie had taken a knife and split me from belly button to chin. I had been gutted, and everything private inside of me had been pulled out for the world to see. I couldn’t bear to look up.
“If you would excuse me,” I said politely, before leaning down to pick up my purse. I almost did a face plant as I tried to pick it up. Only my grip on the table prevented me from completely dying of embarrassment. I managed to somehow stay on my feet, despite my wobbles and then I began the long lonely walk across the room.