19. Nineteen
Nineteen
Abi
Five Years Ago
The hospital was too bright. There was way too much white. Even the chairs were white. The stupid painting on the wall of the sunset on the beach had way too much white in it. Where were the blues? The oranges and pinks that came with a sunset? All I saw was a white blur.
My teeth clenched as I sat in the waiting room, Wyatt next to me, his fingers laced with mine as we waited…and waited…and waited. Cash was sitting across from us, his elbows resting on his knees and his face buried in his palms. Rhett had taken Stetson, thank God. He didn’t need to be here for this.
I squeezed Wyatt’s hand and leaned my head on his shoulder.
You’re okay…Mi Alma…
The last words Sylas said to me before the paramedics came still rang in my ears. The sight of him was still ingrained in the back of my mind. The look in his eyes as that glint left him, the blood on his shirt, the soft lulls his breath took, the light slowly leaving him. I would never ever be able to get this out of my head.
You’re okay…Mi Alma.
“Mrs. Acosta?” I heard my name, and I instantly sat up. The doctor who had been with Sylas gave me a sorrowful expression. Quickly turning to Wyatt, squeezing his hand tighter, I shook my head knowing there was absolutely no way I could talk to the doctor, sinking down into my chair some more.
Wyatt let go of my hand, looked over to Cash, and they both stood. Fear in each and every one of their steps as they walked towards him. The doctor looked at me, then to Wyatt—nodding before continuing to talk. I saw Wyatt freeze, his back stiffened and then Cash…
He turned and hunched his shoulders, his hands reaching out to the chair in front of him. His grip was so tight on the white plastic that his knuckles blanched. He dropped his head and began to take long, deep breaths.
I needed one of them to come back to me. Even though I knew what was said, it wasn’t real until I heard it with my own ears. It couldn’t be real.
Wyatt nodded as the doctor left, and he turned to Cash, gently resting his hand on his back while his gaze met mine. Wyatt’s eyes were wet with the tears he was trying to hold back, his cheek flushed.
Then—a howl filled the waiting room as Cash snapped, Wyatt’s arm jerking back as the chair Cash was white knuckling lifted in the air and flew across the room. It hit with a bang, the echo filling the vapid space as everyone who waited turned to look at Cash.
His fists were balled at his sides, his breaths shallow as he held his eyes tight. Any fear he had from before as he sat and waited was replaced by anger. I had never seen him like this, and now, not only did my heart cry for Sylas, it cried out for him. I was tempted to jump up and pull him in my arms, cry on his shoulders, and let him scream and throw all the chairs he wanted, but my body was frozen. My entire world was being thrown across the room, just like that damn chair.
“Sir…” A nurse said, approaching Cash with caution.
“He’s fine”—Wyatt held out a palm to her—“I’ll get him out.”
“Leave me alone,” Cash bit over his shoulder, his gaze landing right on me.
His brows met in the middle as his body tensed. He took ten steps towards me, but his expression didn’t soften. Stopping in front of me, his chin lowered.
He stood stone still, looked me directly in the eye, and said, “He’s gone.”
Toneless. Lifeless. As if it was just everyday news that he needed to share.
He’s gone.
Then Cash turned and stormed out of the hospital.
The entire world stopped. The white room turned black, and the last thing I remembered before I crumbled were Wyatt’s arms tight around me as he let me fall apart.
Present Day
My alarm clock blared, the familiar sound pulling me from the rest. Crawling out of my bed, my feet hit the cool hardwood floor. I knew today was going to be hard when I went to sleep last night. Today I’d have to face it again.
Five years ago today, I lost him.
Flinging a blanket around my shoulders, I lightly stepped to my dresser, my eyes instantly finding our wedding photo on my dresser. I would never move that picture. It allowed me to see him every day, it always brought a smile to my face. Except for today. Today, I held back the tears.
Today I just wanted to see his bright smile as he turned to face me in the bed. I wanted to hear his voice telling me I deserved five more minutes of sleep. I wanted his finger tips touching my hips, his lips on my forehead. But…I sighed and touched the frame lightly…a photo would do.
It was early still. Not even Lachlan would be up yet. The house was silent, every move I made was amplified. I quietly made a pot of coffee with the glow of the oven light, the drip, drip, drip of the coffee maker sounding so loud in my ears. With the coffee in hand, I settled on the couch, my eyes focused on the rolling hills of Alpine Ridge as a slice of color popped against the dark sky with the rising sun.
Lachlan’s rig showed up sooner than I thought, giving me a good idea as to the time. I had been sitting here for a good two hours now, my coffee long gone. I watched as he plopped his black hat on top of his messy hair, sulking up to the door. He knew what today was. He would come in, give me a hug, and then start his day. It’s the same thing he did every year.
He opened the door, gave me a nod and waited for me to stand. I walked into his arms. He squeezed, letting me linger there a few moments, his warmth bringing more comfort then he knew, before he finally let me go.
“I made coffee,” I whispered.
“Thanks Abi.” He kissed the crown of my head, dropping his chin as he turned.
Instead of following him into the kitchen, I went back to my room. Throwing my hair into a braid, I dressed for a ride. I woke Stetson up with a kiss to his forehead, his eyes fluttering open softly. He smiled when I reminded him that today he didn’t have to go to school. His smile grew wider when it hit him. He always looked forward to today. For him it was a different experience, and he loved it every year.
“Are we going to see Daddy? Can we take Luna?” he asked in a whisper.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m gonna go saddle her up. Get some breakfast and meet me in the stable?”
“Ok, Mommy.” Stetson wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me close, tugging at my heartstrings.
The moment I walked into the stable, Luna peeked her head out of her stall. She knew, too.
“Hey girl,” I cooed as I slid my hand down her nose. “Wanna go for a ride?”
“A ride?” That low, Southern drawl sang through the hollowness of the stable, and a small smile spread on my lips. “On Luna?”
He was here. My chest began to swell.
Cash walked up to me, his gait seamless as his arms moved in sync with his steps. He wore a tan cowboy hat today, complete with his wranglers and denim button down. My stomach did that small flutter as he got closer, almost helping me forget what today was.
And then it dawned on me. He should be there, too.
“Yeah…” I hummed, turning back to Luna. “I think today calls for a ride.”
“What makes today special?” he asked, raising a hand to scratch behind Luna’s ear.
Instead of answering him, I asked, “Do you have a training session this morning, or does Lachlan have plans?”
“There’s always plans,” he answered, leaning his body against the stable door.
“Cancel them for the morning,” I said sternly, dropping my arm to my side.
He furrowed his brow. “Why?”
“Well, today…” I took a deep breath. “Today’s the day Sylas died. And every year, Stetson and I ride out to visit him. And…” I took a single step towards him, lifting my chin to look him dead in the eye. “I think you should come with us.”
Cash swallowed, his eyes widening as his Adam’s apple moved. Then, slowly, he nodded.
“I’ll come.”