35. Thirty-Five
Thirty-Five
Abi
I could see Carolyn up in the announcer’s box, two kids with her, her pink dress making her stand out more than the other people that surrounded her. I was trying hard to not let the presence of Cash’s ex-wife get to me, after all it was my hand he was holding onto, my lips he was kissing, but it still irked me the way she acted.
Who the hell acts like that? She knew Sylas had passed; she was there the day it happened. She came into the arena when she decided that Cash was taking too long. She saw me holding him. She was there when he was loaded up onto the ambulance. She knew very well that he was gone.
Then there was the ‘how many kids do you two have’ statement. What the hell? I hadn’t thought about having more kids in…well…since Sylas died. He and I wanted more, sure, but I was happy and content with Stetson. Especially if Cash was willing to join us, I would have everything I needed with just them. When I asked weeks ago if he wanted kids, his answer was ‘it wasn’t in the cards.’ I assumed that meant she didn’t want children. I know the subject of kids has ended many relationships—but was it their reasoning? I hadn’t pried into the matter of Carolyn since we danced, since our first kiss. He talked about her a few times, then there was the possibility of her blocking my phone number…but I had decided that in the long run that didn’t matter. I wanted to move forward with him. Thinking about Carolyn wasn’t moving forward.
And now Cash just seemed tense. Even though his hand was laced with mine, and every now and then he would reach over and kiss my temple, there was still a barrier that wasn’t there before. I wasn’t sure how to break it, and I was blaming the platinum blonde up in the box.
Thankfully, the tie down roping event was able to pull my attention from the pink dress in the arena to the dirt.
“I wish that was Rhett,” I leaned over and told Cash. “He shouldn’t have taken the year off to date Kyla. They could have gone on rodeo dates.”
Cash squeezed my hand, his jaw tight, lasered focused on the arena. I watched him, studying his eyes as they moved, following the cowboy, then the calf as it was free…then up to the box? Was he looking for Carolyn?
“Maybe next year we can travel with him while he goes out. I mean, I know he’s talked about not participating in as many, but it would be fun. And maybe we can bring Stetson along?” I smiled, hoping to catch his attention, resting my chin on his shoulder.
He nodded, keeping his focus away from me.
“Do you think your name will be on the list next year? You’ve been doing great back home.”
Home. I let it slip. I called Hartwell Hills home. I referenced our future, twice now, and he still focused on the event in front of him.
As much as I hated to admit it, I could tell that confrontation with Carolyn rattled him. I hadn’t asked what they were talking about after I had left; they didn’t talk long. Long enough to get under his skin. I just had to pull him back somehow.
Reaching up, I rubbed on his arm. “Hey.” He took a breath and turned to me. “It’s almost time for the barrel racers.” I smiled.
He returned my soft smile, leaning in to give me a chaste kiss. His eyes began to dance as his smile grew. It wasn’t my smile that I had grown to search for in crowds, but a vacant smile.
“What’s going through your head?” I asked, reaching up to touch his cheek.
He chewed on his bottom lip. “Nothing.” Lifting his hand to the nape of my neck, he pulled me to him, kissing my forehead lightly. “I’m just”—he kissed my lips—“here.”
“Are you?” I tilted my head, narrowing my eyes. “I said three things just now. What did I say?” I responded, making sure my tone was teasing.
“You wish that was Rhett.” He pointed his chin towards the dirt. “You want to bring Stetson here next year, and you want me to ride.” He met my gaze. “You’re right. I think it’s dumb that Rhett took a year off. I saw Kyla last year in Utah, she was enjoying traveling with him. Stetson would love to travel next year so…we’ll make that happen.”
I smiled. He saw us in his future—that confirmed it, but then his next statement made me crinkle my nose: “But, I don’t think I’ll be competing again.”
“You could, you know.”
“I would need way more training.”
“Then you train. You have an entire arena at your disposal.”
He raised a single eyebrow.
He opened his mouth to say something, but the vibration in my pocket drew me away from him. Kyla’s photo shown on my screen. I smiled and glanced at Cash.
“Stetson, it’s a FaceTime.” I slid the bar, the whoop showing my son’s eager face. “Hey, Stet.”
“Mama, what rodeo are you at?”
I looked over at Cash. He leaned in and looked at my son. “Billings Round Up,” he answered for me.
“Uncle Rhett!” Stetson turned his head from view.
“I heard, I heard.” Rhett’s voice boomed in the background. “Aunt Kyla is checking.” Rhett leaned on the couch behind Stetson. “Who’s leading tie down?”
“Zeke so far.” I answered my brother. “I was just telling Cash I wished you were here.”
“That makes two of us Abi!” Kyla’s faint voice came through the phone.
“Next year. Make sure you say hi to Zeke for me.” Rhett’s smile shone through the screen. You could tell he missed this.
“If I see him.” I gave him a wink.
“When are you coming home?” Stetson turned, making him the complete focus of the screen.
“Two more sleeps, bud.” I answered. “Tonight, then there will be a day on the road, and then I’ll be home.”
“Cash too?”
I looked over at him, and he gave one single nod.
“Cash too.” I confirmed.
Stetson gave me a wide smile, his eyes lighting up.
“Found it. Tell your mom we’ll call her back.” Rhett said faintly.
“Okay, Mama! I’ll talk to you soon.” Stetson’s hand waved in front of the screen.
“Bye bu—” Before I could finish, the screen went dark. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and looked over at Cash. “I guess he was done talking.”
Cash’s eyebrows furrowed, and his free hand came to our joined ones. His thumb rubbed mine, and the slight pressure sent shivers through my arm. I thought about his hands the night before, that same thumb teasing the most sensitive parts of me. I could distract him from his thoughts, at least for now. It wouldn’t fix everything, but it could bring him back into the moment.
I kissed him, forcing his lips apart with my tongue and slipping it inside, instantly feeling the warmth seep through me. I knew he could feel it too—the way his body relaxed, his jaw moving seamlessly with mine, whatever was causing him to tense was lifted, if just for a moment. The feeling that Carolyn had taken away came rushing back. The hope of a future with him was clearer as we kissed, as his hands cradled my face. Everything just made sense with him, and nothing could change that. It would take more than an ex-wife to pull him away from me.
He broke us apart, ending it with a sweet kiss to the tip of my nose.
“Thank you,” he whispered, barely audible over the cheering of the crowd.
I hummed, wanting to kiss him again. He moved, shifting his hips as he reached into his pocket. His brow pinched as he unlocked his phone.
“Rhett is texting me…”
I kissed his temple as he bent to read the text before turning my attention back to the arena for a split second, but his chuckle pulled me back.
“Scratch that. It’s Stetson.”
“Stetson?”
He titled the phone to me.
Rhett
I stol Uncle Retts fone. Are you moms boyfren yet?
I laughed at the grammar, and then looked at my boyfriend. “Well, you gonna answer him?”
He kissed me lightly before typing back his response.
Cash
Yeah, bud. I am.
“Quinn Compton! Born and raised here in Montana, she’s here to show us what she’s got after taking a fall a couple of months ago. That didn’t slow her down. Rounding the first barrel with ease, and look at that turn on the second and off to the third.” The crowd cheered as every move Quinn made was narrated. “From what I’m hearing, this was the horse she took a tumble on—Hook I believe. But look at that! Seventeen point six seconds for Quinn Compton.” The announcer spoke fast—faster than Wyatt on a good day—and I tried to keep my eyes on Quinn but damn…she was fast.
Looks like all that training with Cash paid off.
I jumped, almost hitting the people in front of us, and Cash…
He sat, his body still tense. He was watching, but he wasn’t celebrating.
“Hey…” I sat down next to him. “Did you see?” I squeezed his knee. “Quinn…she came in first.”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “I saw. I…I…” he stammered, standing up. “I’m going to go meet her by the trailer to congratulate her.” He kissed the crown of my head and started squeezing past everyone. “Meet us by the trailer?”
I nodded and watched him leave. It made me think that the kiss we shared just moments before didn’t mean as much as I thought it did.
My head started to swim. What did Carolyn say to him that jogged him so far from me? Barely hearing the announcer and rodeo clown talk about the bulls, getting everyone ready to hype up the riders, I stood and shimmied past everyone, starting to jog once I made it to the clearing. Without thinking, I went directly to her.
“What did you say to him?” I asked the second I opened the door to the box.
There were several families there, not just Carolyn and her two kids, but she instantly turned, her eyes lightly rolling when she saw me.
“Nothing.” She groaned. “Now if you don’t mind—”
“I do mind because whatever you said to him got in his head, and now he’s having a hard time enjoying the rodeo.” I walked closer to her, standing in front of her to block her view of the bull riders.
“My husband is up next and if you think—”
“No, Carolyn. I couldn’t care less if you miss your husband’s ride. What did you say to him?”
Glancing to her kids, who were engrossed at the event below, her eyes narrowed the second she turned. “I asked him if you knew the real reason why I left him. The fact that you’re up here, intruding on my time with my family, proves to me you don’t.”
“The real reason?” I asked, lowering my voice. “Just tell me, and we can go back to hating each other.”
She shook her head. “I’m not getting into this with you. I’ve managed five years without seeing your face, and it was a glorious five years. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to watch my husband ride.”
“Curtis. Roster.” The announcer shouted, making his name last way too long as the rock song blared over the speakers, the voice louder in the box with the speakers right there, not being drowned out by any cheering from the crowd. “Two-time NFR champion. Making the money everywhere he goes. Standing high in the United States and the Western Circuit. Riding Mad Horn…a bull that gets just as high of points as the rider…”
“Excuse me, Abi.” Carolyn put her hand on my shoulder and pushed me aside.
I turned towards the edge of the wall and watched as Curtis Roster, Carolyn’s husband, rode the bull for eight seconds, jumping off in time and throwing his hands up in the air, giving a victory pose. He pointed up to the box and blew a kiss. Carolyn dramatically caught it. Once he was back behind the gate, she turned back to me.
“You may want to talk to him before you decide if you want to be in a relationship with him.” She spoke quietly. “I don’t know what he’s told you…”
“We’ve only been back in each other’s lives for nine weeks. Someone blocked my number.”
She breathed a laugh. “Yeah, that was me. I’ll admit that. But Abi…you’re going to want to talk to him.”