Chapter Eighteen
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
GARRETT
Staring at my computer screen, I try to make sense of what I’m doing, but my brain feels like mush. I’m working on my final project for finance class; building a financial model for a hypothetical company. The project involves creating an Excel model with inputs, assumptions, and financial projections, mocking a sensitivity analysis to show how changes in assumptions impact outcomes, and ultimately, writing a report explaining the rationale behind the model’s design.
This project has been a beast, sucking up all my time and attention. It’s been over a week since I’ve been back to the library because I’ve been putting all my focus into this final. Marie wouldn’t be able to help me with this anyway. It’s my finance class, not the English class, and I’m supposed to work on it myself, using all the knowledge I’ve gained throughout the course. I’m just about done, which is a huge relief. Looking up from my laptop screen, I gaze around my kitchen and flinch at how much of a mess my place is. Dishes are piled in the sink, the trash needs taken out, laundry is scattered around the living room.
Groaning, I turn my attention back to the computer. I just need to finish up the last of the report and submit it, and then I’m done.
And… send.
I slump back in my chair and let out a groan of relief. Thank God. It’s over. I can finally breathe again.
Pushing to my feet, I stretch my neck side-to-side and raise my hands above my head to work the knots out of my shoulders. Looking around at the mess around me, I just feel exhausted. I need to get out of here. Get some fresh air and interact with people. It seems like it’s been days since I’ve seen another person. I haven’t even talked to Haven beyond a few proof-of-life text messages.
I get cleaned up, showering and changing my clothes before grabbing my keys and heading out the door. Deciding it’s been a minute since I’ve seen my sister, I head out to her and Christian’s acreage just outside of town. When I reach the property, I drive up the long, winding driveway to the huge two-story farmhouse and park in an open spot in front of the garage. I make my way up to the porch, and before I reach the door, it swings open and Haven appears in the doorway. She’s wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and has her long auburn hair piled into a messy bun on top of her head. Her brows raise in surprise as she looks me up and down.
“Garrett? What are you doing here?”
“Hey,” I reply, grinning. “I just finished my final and thought I’d swing by and see how you’re doing. Christian messaged me and let me know you were taking a few days off from work because you haven’t been feeling well. Everything okay?”
She chuckles and rests a hand on her visibly pregnant belly. Five months in and she’s looking plump and healthy. I never really bought into the whole pregnant-woman glow thing, but I can see it in Haven. There’s something about her that just seems to be brighter.
“I’m fine,” she says with a teasing grin. I notice a bit of tension in her eyes. She must be tired. “It was just a cold…that’s the risk of working in a daycare, you know? I’m surrounded by human petri dishes. I’m feeling much better, though, and I’m happy to see you! It’s been so long. We were about to send a search party. Congratulations on finishing your final! Come on inside.”
She moves to let me into her large two-story farmhouse home and we make our way to the living room. There are toy trucks and blocks spread across the floor that we tiptoe through, and extra pillows and fuzzy blankets all over the couch. It almost looks like a nest that I assume Haven has been hunkering down in whenever she gets the chance.
“Take a seat,” she says. “I just made a pot of tea. I’ll get you a cup.”
“Thanks.” I settle on the couch as she disappears down the hallway toward the kitchen. A few minutes later, she returns holding two cups of steaming tea and hands one to me.
Once she’s made herself comfortable in an armchair next to me, she lets out a little sigh and gives me a sleepy smile.
“You’ve finally finished your class,” she says. “You must be so relieved.”
I nod. “You have no idea.”
“Good, good,” she murmurs. “I’m proud of you.”
I take a sip of my tea and she stares down into hers, seemingly lost in thought.
Frowning, I ask, “Hey, you okay?”
Blinking, she jerks her gaze back up to mine. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? Seems like you’ve got something on your mind.”
She shakes her head and says, “It’s nothing, I’m good. Just, uh, tired. Pregnancy fatigue.”
Concerned, I furrow my brow. “Is that unusual? Is everything okay with the baby?”
“Everything’s fine,” she assures me. “It’s just hard work growing a human, you know?”
“Yeah, I suppose it is.” I take another sip of my tea. There’s another subject I want to bring up with her, but I don’t know how to do so in a casual way that won’t raise her suspicions. “So, uh, what did I miss while I was locked away? How’s Christian and Oliver?”
“Christian’s good,” she says. “Busy with work, but since he’s got an office in town now, he doesn’t have to go to the city nearly so often. Oliver is a little fireball. He’s excited for the new baby, but I also think he’s feeling a little anxious. It’s a big change, after all.”
“Uh huh. I’m sure. And… Marie?”
To my surprise, Haven looks away from me and her expression becomes unreadable.
“Marie’s good,” she answers simply.
That’s it? That’s all I get? Have is usually more forthcoming than this. Why’s she so tightlipped now? I thought Marie and I were good. Did something happen that I don’t know about?
“Have you talked to her lately?” The question feels silly because the two talk to each other daily. Still, I want to see if I can dig out any morsel of info about Marie that I can.
“I have…” She slowly replies, but again, she doesn’t expand on her answer. It’s like she really doesn’t want to talk to me about Marie at all.
“Okay,” I murmur, feeling awkward as I take another drink of tea. I want to press the issue, but I also don’t want to seem like I’m desperate and digging for information… even though that’s exactly what I’m doing. Instead, I let the issue drop and change the subject instead.
“Getting ready for the baby?” I ask.
She immediately relaxes and her face lights up. “Yes! We actually just finished putting the nursery together. Do you want to see it?”
I grin, her enthusiasm infectious. “I’d love to.”
Standing, I help Haven to her feet and she leads me out of the living room, up the stairs, and down the hall to a closed door with a little sign hanging on it. The sign has lambs and flowers and says ‘Nursery’ in rainbow letters.
“This is it,” she says, pushing open the door.
The nursery is bright and cheerful, painted a soft, buttery yellow. There’s a crib in the corner, a rocking chair by the window, and shelves already filled with stuffed animals and books. Sunlight streams in, highlighting the playful decals of clouds and stars that Haven must have painstakingly placed on the walls.
“It’s perfect,” I say, and I mean it. “You and Christian did a great job with this.”
Haven beams, her hand instinctively going to her belly. “We wanted it to feel warm, you know? Like a little haven—pun absolutely intended—for the baby.”
I chuckle, but my smile falters as my thoughts shift again. The joy radiating from her is genuine, and I’m happy for her, but there’s something gnawing at me. Something—or rather someone—she refuses to talk about.
“It’s going to be great,” I say, stepping toward the crib and running a hand along the smooth wooden railing. “You’re going to be a fantastic mom.”
“Thanks, Garrett,” she says softly, leaning against the rocking chair. “Being Oliver’s stepmom has been wonderful, but I have to admit, I’m nervous for there to be two kids in the house. I hope Christian and I can handle it.”
“You’ll be fine,” I assure her.
She gives me a sad smile and confesses, “I… I really wish Mom were here to give me advice and tell me everything’s going to be okay. I miss her so much.”
Tears slip out of her eyes and down her cheeks. I cross the room to wrap my arms around her in a tight hug.
“I know,” I say against her hair. “I miss her too. She’d be so proud of you, Haven, and I’m sure she’d tell you just how great of a job you’re doing as a mom.”
Haven buries her face against my chest and we stand like that for a while, seeking comfort from each other as we both feel the sting of our loss. At length, I gently pull back and smile down at her. Cupping her face, I brush away her tears with my thumbs.
“No more crying,” I tell her. “Mom would want you to enjoy this time. She’d want us both to be happy, right?”
She swallows and nods. “You’re right.”
I kiss her forehead. “I should get going and you should get some rest, okay? I’ll check in with you later.”
She releases a small sigh. “Okay. Thanks, Garrett. It’s hard to talk about Mom, even with Christian. Being able to admit how much I miss her is… soothing. You know?”
“Yeah, I get it.” My heart twists and I step back before turning for the door. “If you ever need to, you know you can always talk to me. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
“I know, Garrett.” She waves at me as I head out the door. “See you later.”
I make my way downstairs and through the hallway to the front door. As I’m passing a side table pressed up against the wall, I notice a gift bag decorated in pastel flowers and zoo animals. I pause, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Haven hasn’t come down the stairs to catch me peeking. Finding the gift tag, I turn it over. Marie’s name is written in black across the small white square. Carefully, I reach into the bag and pull aside the yellow tissue paper. I find a copy of the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting inside. Thoughtful gift. Marie would give Haven and Christian a book as a baby present.
I stare down at her name for a few moments longer, my chest aching and my stomach twisting with longing. Why didn’t Haven seem to want to talk about Marie? What’s going on there?
Sighing, I drop the gift tag back into the bag and continue onto the front door. Damn it… I miss her. A part of me wants to reach out to her and see how things are, but I’m admittedly nervous. I haven’t spoken to her since the night I walked her home from the bar and we kissed. I texted her the next day to make sure she was okay. She said she was, but that was it. Is she upset about the kiss? Does she even remember it?
Once I’m outside, I head for my truck. I should talk to Marie, but I can’t screw it up again, so I want to make sure I’m prepared before seeing her. I need to apologize properly and try to repair what I can of our friendship. Things won’t be the same, I know that, but I don’t want to lose her even if we can’t be together the way she wants. I’m supposed to have a PT appointment tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I’ll stop by the library afterward and see how she’s doing. That should give me plenty of time to come up with the right thing to say… whatever that might be.
Feeling more at ease now that I have a plan, I climb into my truck and take off down the driveway, feeling somewhat lighter.
For the first time since before my accident, it feels like things are finally falling into place for me. Everything is going right, and I’m going to do all that I can to make sure it stays that way.