Chapter 7
Sapphire
I threw open the curtains and let the morning sunlight fill the hotel room, and I breathed in deep, feeling a smile spill over my features looking out over the city.
“Good morning, Chicago,” I said.
Thankfully, nobody responded.
I put on some music and sang along as I took a long shower, delicately working my hair and tending to my ritual—I’d finally gotten to stop into the drugstore last night and got everything for my overly-elaborate hair and skin routine, as well as picking out some makeup I thought would be fun, and I felt alive again when I saw myself in the mirror at the end of it all, looking like myself again. Between me and my sister, I’d always been the one who liked makeup, while she just used the minimum she could get away with, and seeing myself with full mascara on made me feel like I was seeing myself instead of her.
Some light in my eyes, and finally back in makeup, I was starting to feel a little more confident. I got changed into the cute dress with the ruffled neckline I’d been so excited to try out, and I slipped a blazer on over top and pulled on the cute Breton cap I’d bought with high hopes.
I scowled at myself in the mirror, adjusting the hat. I wasn’t doing it as well as Madeleine. I didn’t know what I was missing.
I texted Madeleine—we’d already sent good-morning texts back and forth as soon as I woke up, Madeleine having only just woken up too, so the conversational barrier was already broken, and I sent her a picture of myself with my expression scrunched.
I don’t know how to wear a hat as well as you do…
The message marked as read, and it was a long minute before she responded. You don’t want to overpower the look with the volume of the hat. Try clipping a section of hair or something just to move it a bit, play with volume, so you’re not swimming in the hat.
I swear, there was nothing she wasn’t good at. I rummaged in the plastic bag from the drugstore until I got a barrette, and I pinned my hair on one side, moving a few strands of hair—it was hard to get volume with hair as straight as mine—but after a few minutes of fussing my hair around and adjusting the position of the hat, I took another picture and sent it to Madeleine.
How’s it looking, coach?
She took another minute to respond. Just studying the picture really closely… her and the way she paid attention. It was kind of magical.
Everything about her was magical. And I was trying really, really hard not to fixate on the newfound knowledge I had that she liked girls, too. She still had a boyfriend—and even if she didn’t, she’d be so far out of my league, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.
Finally, she sent a fire emoji.
You’re rocking it! welcome to the hat club, now Britt gets to make fun of both of us
I’d never felt so good about myself in my life. I posed in the mirror for a while, just kind of… seeing myself.
There was a light in my eyes I think I wasn’t really used to seeing. Now that I was out here, just being… me. Free to be me, to like who I liked, and find my own way in the world. And to dress in cute clothes. And have a cute girl tell me how to wear them.
I headed out and walked down the street towards the café, trying to move quickly even though it felt like everyone around me knew a secret I didn’t about getting around in the city. People crossed streets before the signal changed to walk, weaved between each other, and even crossed busy roads in standstill traffic, just walking between cars. I felt like a stranger in a strange land apologizing to people I bumped into and fumbling my way through everything, and I felt a little dizzy and exhilarated by the time I got to the café and caught sight of Madeleine there at the front, leaning back against the stone wall, looking up at the sky.
Or… no. Looking at the building across from us. Her eyes moved slowly, scanning every inch of it. I slowed down, coming up quietly next to her, and it was only once I was a few steps away that she noticed me there, stifling a jolt and glancing over at me.
“Hey… hi.” She took a step back, looking me over. “That looks great on you.”
I didn’t want to be weird, but—well, there was a reason I’d been excited to finally wear makeup for Madeleine for the first time. Or, well, not wear it for her, just wear it while I was going to see her, or…
Who was I kidding? I was wearing it for her.
“You think so?” I twirled. “Primark chic.”
“Hey, you’re working it,” she laughed, meeting my gaze again, although her eyes roamed my face. “I need to get you to give me lessons on makeup… your eyes look gorgeous.”
“Ah.” I thought I’d die. I rubbed the back of my head, just under the brim of my cap. “I just follow tutorials on YouTube and stuff.”
“I can’t believe how well you color-matched a foundation and nude lip from the drugstore.”
I looked away. “Well, er, I had a lot of makeup at home. I mean, my family’s home. I was always the makeup girl between me and my sister… I’ve tried every conceivable shade within a good radius of my skin tone.”
“Hey, take those wins where they come,” she laughed. “You could be a makeup artist. Do you want to go in, grab breakfast?”
I flushed a little. I didn’t want to admit how much fun I thought it would be to be a makeup artist, not when I knew I was nowhere near professional. “Ah, kind of, yeah,” I said, “but it’s so nice out I want to stay out here too…”
She grinned. “Let’s get food to go. We’ll sit over at Marina City and enjoy the river.”
“Madeleine! What have I told you about spoiling me?”
She pushed into the doors, holding it open for me. “I’m being selfish. I want someone to listen to me ramble about architecture.”
Well, if that was what she considered selfish, she could do anything she wanted with me.
Not like that. I mean—well. I put the thought somewhere far away.
I got a yogurt parfait and a latte, and we took our food out and went down the street a ways until we crossed a big industrial-chic bridge under the shadow of two tall buildings that looked like corncobs, and down to a recessed area on the riverfront, crowded with people and lined with trees. We grabbed a spot sitting on a stone wall, our food set down between us, and I pulled my jacket tighter against where the wind picked up, tossing my hair across my face, and I listened to Madeleine tell me about every detail in the skyline across from us. About Marina City and the urbanist movement that led to its design. About everything.
I didn’t have enough parfait. I didn’t want the conversation to ever end. I found myself eating slower getting to the bottom of the cup just to let it go on longer.
“Sorry, I’ve been rambling for ages,” Madeleine said, looking down shyly. I shook my head, just wondering how I was supposed to convey please never stop rambling without coming across like an obsessed creep.
“I love the way you talk,” I said, hearing myself murmur it so quietly the wind almost snatched it away. “You get—you know—you get so excited about saying something that you push to finish a sentence even though you’re running out of breath, and then you’ll have to stop after and catch your breath like you just ran a little bit.”
She scrunched up her face, looking down at herself. “Oh. Uh. I never noticed I do that. Um…”
“It’s only when you’re talking about something you really like,” I laughed. “It’s… it just makes my heart happy. Ah, I’m probably being weird.” I looked away, crossing my legs at my ankles. “I just like seeing people’s genuine excitement… it wasn’t exactly my family’s strong suit, I guess?”
She was quiet for a long time before she said, “I’m not totally sure how to deal with attention.”
“Oh—I’m sorry.” I felt my face burn, turning back to her, waving my hands anxiously. “Please forget I said anything. The point is just that I like hearing you talk about things that excite you.”
She laughed, putting a hand on my wrist and lowering my hand. “Easy you don’t pull something there, Sapphire. I’m not complaining. Just…” She ducked her head. “I’m not sure how to handle these situations. So I apologize that I’m weird and awkward in them. But it’s kind of… affirming? The whole thing you said about the way I look at things, too. Uh…” She scratched her temple, looking away, staring pointedly at the river. “I’m probably not going to acknowledge this much because it’s embarrassing, but… I like that a lot. You’ve got a good eye. I think you’ll be good at whatever you decide to pick up for a career.”
Ah. I was going to die. I suppressed a nervous laugh. “So… I shouldn’t stop.”
She gave me a playful smile. “I’d never want to get in the way of you doing what feels right. You clearly don’t let that stand.”
God, I wanted to kiss her. I swallowed hard, and I looked away, feeling my face burning. “I’m not bailing on you like I did my parents,” I laughed, trying to sound casual. I don’t think I pulled it off. “Ah… I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my career, if I’m being honest.”
“Nothing that’s been speaking to you before?”
“Lots… I like lots of different things.” I kicked my feet in the air below the wall, my feet just short of the ground. “I’m the kind of girl who can’t see something new without dreaming up a whole life about that thing. I have a short attention span.”
“Hey, nothing wrong with that. So what I’m hearing is that we find you a day job that gives you time and space to try out different things.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun…”
Madeleine’s smile shifted and turned into an incredulous look, and she spoke to herself. “I think that’s…” She stood up, raising a hand, and I followed her gaze, looking for what she was waving to in the crowd. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but my stomach sank when she called, “Hey! Tristan!”
I stood up, feeling a deep guilty weight in my stomach, as if I was getting caught homewrecking even though it was just my own hopeless feelings that were running out of control. “Your boyfriend?” I said, looking between her and the crowd, and it just had to be the guy who looked like he belonged on the cover of some sexy straight romance book who glanced over at Madeleine, a phone up to his ear.
“Finally,” Madeleine sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I’ve been trying to tell him about you since the other night. Hey! Tristan!”
The man who was currently my least favorite person in the world—which was kind of unfair of me—said something into his phone and pushed out of the crowd, coming towards us. He was probably at least six foot, with a lean-but-muscular build and a black suit that was nice but not too dressy, curly brown hair and a light stubble sculpting his jawline. Eye candy for anyone who swung that way, I was pretty sure. Someone I had no chance against.
“Hey, Mads,” he said quickly, coming over towards us, slipping his phone into his pocket. “Running to catch Jason right now, but it’s nice to see you.”
He leaned in and pecked Madeleine on the cheek. I kept myself from crumpling up on the spot. I probably needed this… needed to see Madeleine being cute and happy with him so I could convince myself that supporting them was what would make her happiest. Madeleine shoved her hands in her coat pockets, giving him a look. “If you’re going to cheat on me with someone at your workplace, you could at least not pick Jason.”
“Babe, even if I were single and the gayest man on the planet, I’d jump from a window before I hooked up with Jason. It’s not like I want to be on this project with him, but a job’s a job.” He nodded my way. “Friend of yours? Haven’t seen her before.”
“ This is who I’ve been trying to tell you about. This is Sapphire, Britt’s and my new friend. I’m helping her figure out how life works while she’s on the run from a butler.”
“Hi,” I said. “I don’t know how to follow up an introduction like that, but—I’m Sapphire. Madeleine’s saved me a million times already.”
He raised his eyebrows, looking between us. “Seriously, I take my eyes off you for two seconds, Mads.”
“Try thirty-six hours.”
He raked his hand back through his hair. “You know I’ve been busy. I shouldn’t even be here right now. I want to hear the whole story, but you can fill me in once I’m through.”
Madeleine looked away. “So you’re running again now?”
“I’ll call you after this meeting is done, okay, babe? I love you.” He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek again, and Madeleine pursed her lips.
“Okay, okay. Sorry for interrupting you. See you later.”
Tristan pulled his phone from his pocket, back up to his ear as he strode away, jacket flapping in the wind. I deflated a little watching him go—he hadn’t even said a word to me directly, even when I introduced myself. The two of them really were in a different universe from me, and Madeleine was just deigning to keep me around. It wasn’t like I didn’t already know, I just… didn’t want reminders.
Madeleine sighed, watching him go, before she dropped back onto a seat on the wall, sipping at her coffee. I sank back down next to her, wondering what was even okay to say right now.
I didn’t think she wanted to talk about this right now. She looked like she just felt… spurned, pushed away. She clearly liked having someone listen to what’s on her mind, and Tristan wasn’t giving her five minutes out of a thirty-six-hour period, and—even if it was just because he had a lot going on right now, it was still bumming her out.
“Hey, Madeleine?”
“Mm?” She glanced over at me.
“Do you have a favorite hotel you like the style of? Like—if you were designing a hotel, you’d want it to be just like that one?”
She bit down on a sudden smile, looking down. “Ah, well…”
“And be outlandish! Don’t hold back to be reasonable.”
“The Peninsula.”
I whirled on her, my heart in her mouth. “The Peninsula? Like—the five-star hotel here in Chicago?”
“You know it?”
“I’ve been,” I laughed, just about bubbling over. “Um—a really prestigious client stayed there once while he was flying in to meet my father, and I went with my father and sister to meet him at the hotel.”
Madeleine gave me a look I’d probably never get out of my head—this deep, envious yearning look, like it was the most magical thing she’d ever heard. “Oh my god,” she said, after a second too long a pause. “Okay, I’m a little jealous of that.”
“Let’s go see it?” I stood up. “I know we’d only be able to go into the lobby, but it was really beautiful and I know I’d be able to appreciate it better with your eyes.”
“I—c’mon.” She looked away, scratching the back of her head. “Now you’re the one spoiling me. You’ve had enough on your plate without you having to give me an architectural tour.”
“It’s because I want to.” I held out a hand for her. “C’mon! We can take the metro. I’m a big girl now.”
“Peninsula’s actually only like a fifteen-minute walk from here.”
“Oh. Well… then we can do that!”
She laughed, taking my hand and letting me help her up to her feet. “Sounds great. We’ll take some pictures and I’ll show you what it looks like when I do an architectural study.”
There it was again—that focused look in her eyes, the relaxed slope to her shoulders. She was feeling better.
For a second, I thought she deserves better than him, but—that was probably the jealousy and the crush talking. But what was more important was getting to help her out when things were difficult.