Chapter 13
Sapphire
I was really out to humiliate myself as much as possible today.
I sat down on the bench outside, feeling the wind throw my hair in my face, and I hunched over on myself. I’d have to tell Britt… I at least hadn’t told Madeleine I’d gotten a call back for an interview while she was in the house with Tristan—she’d been a little bit occupied with something more pressing—so I didn’t have to tell her how embarrassingly I’d just flunked the interview, but the call had come in while I was right next to Britt. Sure enough, when I checked my phone, there was already a message from her, five minutes ago. let me know how it went!!!! I’m cheering for u with a whole bunch of confetti emojis.
I didn’t deserve confetti emojis right now.
I was running out of money… I’d be able to extend my hotel stay by a couple of nights if I needed to, but that would be the end of it. I was already coming up on a full week down, and I still had to figure out what to do in between the job starting and my first paycheck, since Madeleine had told me they usually paid every two weeks. And then the process of an apartment search, having to find roommates…
I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell. No matter which way I turned it, I was running out of money with nowhere to stay. I probably should have found a job before I left… I’d been an idiot just walking out without a clear plan, without everything set up in place.
Maybe I needed to just go back. Accept I’d screwed it up this time, go back and be good, and prepare myself correctly to leave next time. Now that I was slightly less clueless.
Of course, they’d also be going to greater lengths to get their hooks in me. And I’d just have to let it happen, or I’d only raise more suspicions. And maybe I’d never get away again. But that was probably better than starving on the street or something.
I texted Britt back. not as good as it could have been, but I guess it’s all right, I sent, and then followed it up right after. how’s Madeleine?
She opened the message immediately, texting right away. I’m sure you did great!! you’re probably just selling yourself short, you and mads are both like that
I sighed, pushing myself up to my feet and starting like a drunken stagger down the sidewalk. A good thirty-minute walk back to the hotel… it was a good chance to get my thoughts back in order. Britt texted back before long.
mads is sad, she sent, apparently after some deliberation. she headed off for work while you were in your interview, and she’s obviously out of it, but she’s keeping it together for now. it’s one of those things that just takes time, you know?
She was able to go through things like this and still just pick herself back up and get to work, get through her studies… I couldn’t even get a job anywhere. Still, I made myself text back. I’m sure she’ll be better again before long, she’s really resilient
she will! especially if you come over and help me set up for her party
I stopped, staring at the screen. like a breakup party? is that a thing?
it is now!! for her sake we’re pretending it’s a “feel better soon we’re all here for you” party but personally I’m celebrating telling Tristan to go fuck off
I laughed, a thin sound in my throat. I feel like I’m not learning what the world at large is really like being around you
She replied instantly. who cares what the rest of the world is like?? we’ve got our own little world right here baby
So we did. what should I bring?
the only thing mads wants from you is your pretty face, so bring that
I hung my head. I wasn’t supposed to let my thoughts go in that direction… Britt wasn’t helping, talking like that.
I mean, I guess Madeleine was single now. But she’d been single for about four hours. I needed to behave.
There was no saying no to Britt, so I headed over to their apartment, where she buzzed me up and let me in through the door to where I wasn’t the first guest—a girl with pink hair I recognized from Madeleine’s work and a tall willowy blonde girl I’d never met before already squeezed into the kitchen with Britt talking and laughing, and I pressed myself back up against the door with a spike of nerves feeling like I was intruding before Britt tossed aside the spoon she was tasting a soup with and hurried around the counter towards me.
“There you are. I was wondering if you’d show before I died of old age.”
I folded my arms. “You look pretty good for having one foot in the grave.”
She grinned. “I look good without any qualifiers, thank you very much. These are some of Mads’ and my friends, Haley and Ellen, and Zach is coming around soon to be the token guy. Don’t worry, I’ve already told them all about you and they all think you’re cool.”
I laughed nervously. “Um… I don’t know what you told them to make them think I’m cool.”
The girl I recognized from Madeleine’s job, the one Britt had pointed to as Haley, leaned over the counter and waved to me, a big bubbly smile. She seemed like the bubbly type in general, even while she was covered in more flour stains than I could work out what she’d even done to get them all, with pink hair and big eyelash extensions, giving her a cute look together with her freckles. “Hey, Sapphire. It’s nice to meet you. Madeleine’s been talking about you all the time lately.”
Suddenly I didn’t have anything cool and clever to say. I settled for a laugh after a second’s pause too long, a laugh that didn’t sound like anything a person would ever naturally do, and I managed, “Oh… I, um, I talk about her too.”
Because that was smooth. Really masterfully done.
Still, the two of them were both sweet. Britt whisked me into the kitchen to help with menial tasks, showing me how to knead dough—which quickly made it very clear how Haley had gotten flour-coated—and the three of them all invited me into the conversation too even though I was too nervous to say much. Haley was all sugar and rainbows, although it just made it hit harder when she dropped tomato on the floor and let out a string of expletives I didn’t even know existed, and Ellen was the quieter type, which meant I wasn’t the only one talking more in smiles and nods than in words. Zach showed up before long too, a scrawny guy with kind of a manic energy, although the energy in the group felt a little manic across the board.
Apparently, Britt wasn’t the only one who’d been waiting desperately for Madeleine to break up with Tristan. We got a solid half-hour of everyone talking about how miserable Madeleine had been with him, to the point where I kind of started to feel sorry for the guy, and when Haley pulled an unfrosted cake from the fridge, she beamed at me.
“Hey, Sapph,” she said. “You ever decorated a cake before?”
“Um. No, actually. I’ve never even made a cake before.”
She grinned. “Great. Then that means the first cake you’ve decorated will be for Madeleine. Let me show you how to do it.”
“Oh.” My voice came out like stepping on a squeaky dog toy. “Um… don’t we think she… deserves better?”
Britt broke out laughing. “Girl, shut up. You’ll do fine. Haley knows what she’s doing, too, she’ll make you a pro in no time,” she said, giving Haley a little push on the shoulder. Haley responded with a laugh and a smack on the butt, and I hadn’t realized friends all went around slapping each other so much…
It definitely took more than no time to learn how to frost a cake—I took a bag full of frosting from Haley, and even when her first instruction after putting the cake on a wheel was just pipe this first layer on evenly to cover it , I felt like it was my first day in my body, fumbling trying to operate the bag. I squirted frosting on the table, the wheel, and even on the floor before I got half the cake covered, and it was getting to the point where I thought I might just go crawl out the door and lie down in the street, but eventually I got the hang of how to hold the bag, how to apply pressure to get an even flow, and how to squeeze it so it only came out the tip and didn’t squirt from the top.
And honestly, once I wasn’t so shaky, it was kind of fun. I took a second bag from Haley and let her show me how to pipe swirls for trim, and I got the hang of that one faster, to the point where Ellen stopped and watched me, pausing in the middle of her prep folding dumplings, meticulous just like her whole style, neat clothes and a sleek straight blonde bob. Very put together. Very not like me.
“You have a really steady hand,” she said. I flushed.
“Oh, um. Thanks.” I fussed embarrassedly with the bag. “I like decorating stuff. I’m kind of a makeup girl…”
Ellen hung her head. “I envy that… I see people on Instagram looking so good and I try to do the same thing and I look like I got a black eye.”
Britt leaned over the table. “Sapphire would love to do your makeup sometime and show you how it’s done.”
Ellen elbowed her. “Let Sapphire volunteer her own things, you jerk,” she laughed.
“I really wouldn’t mind it, though,” I said, going back to the cake, feeling a little glow I wasn’t used to as I did. “I bet I could find a good style for you.”
Haley put a hand on the tip of the bag, adjusting the point just a little bit and signaling for me to keep going. “I have a birthday party for this friend who goes all the fuck out for her birthday coming up this week, I’d love you forever and so would my friend if you could give me a flashy look for it.”
Britt cut in before I could say anything, with, “Sapphire’s going rate is gonna be at least two hundred dollars for that.”
“Oh my god, Britt,” I said. “I would love an opportunity to give you a showstopper look. And I won’t charge you.”
Haley beamed. “Look, I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have two hundred dollars sitting around for it, but you can still charge me. At the very least I’m paying for whatever makeup you buy for it, I don’t clean my makeup brushes nearly enough and I’m ashamed of letting you see them.”
I really wanted to say oh, no, I’ll cover everything, don’t worry, but it wasn’t like I had a lot of money to spare. Or could really afford to turn down getting paid for something.
And besides, the thought of making my own money for the first time from doing a friend’s makeup was kind of… fun.
Once the trim was done on the cake, Haley put it in the fridge to set up more before the last round of decorations, the bread was in the oven, and Britt made a bright-blue cocktail and flopped down on the couch, gesturing me to sit with her while the other three were chatting over something on Ellen’s phone in the kitchen. I sat on the edge of the sofa, my hands folded in my lap, and Britt snorted.
“Girl, you’re not out here to meet royalty. Relax.”
“Oh. Uh. Sorry.” I tried slumping back in the sofa, but it felt a little self-conscious… she pushed her drink into my hand.
“Try some?”
“I’m not taking your drink.”
She gave me a look. “First off, I already mooched the curacao from Haley, so it’s kind of taking her drink. Second off, I’m offering. You’re at this party with us. Are you planning on not eating the food either?”
I laughed nervously. “I mean… if you’re sure. Thank you.”
The drink was kind of aggressively sweet and tasted artificial, but like… in the satisfying way that a hard candy might have. Britt laughed, seeing my expression. “You’re probably a classy girly who’d prefer a sbagliati or something.”
“I usually have wine if I’m drinking…”
She snorted. “Yeah, of course you do. I don’t know what I was thinking. Have to get the… pinot grigio 1974 vintage.”
I made a face. “I’m not a big fan of pinot grigio. I like more of a… cabernet, Toscana rosso, Sangiovese, that kind of category.”
“Yep. Sure, I know what that means.” She gestured me towards the three chatting in the kitchen. “So, what do you think?” she said, her voice lower now.
“I think they’re really sweet… I’m glad you and Madeleine have such good friends.”
“Yeah, they’re your friends now too. That’s how a friend group works. Congratulations. That’s not what I’m asking anyway. Haley’s cute, right?”
I blinked slowly. “Um… are you asking if I like her?” I said, and she grinned.
“I’m asking if you think she likes me. She’s hot, but I don’t know if I have a chance, and she was Mads’s friend first, so I don’t want to make it weird by shooting my shot unless I’m really sure.”
“Oh. Um. I could ask her.”
“Please don’t. Where is your sense of subtlety?”
I laughed awkwardly, scratching my head. “Sorry. I’m not very good at this. Um…” I shrugged, looking away. “I’m not sure, but I think it’d be cute… you two complement each other well.”
“She has a nice butt, right?”
“Um. I wasn’t looking. Anyway—why don’t you just tell her you want to spend some more time together, just the two of you, see how it goes? I mean, it can just be natural…”
She grinned. “Just like you and Madeleine?”
I ducked my head, hiding the prickling flush, and I checked my phone. Still ten minutes before the woman of the hour was supposed to show up, since she only had a half-shift today. “Britt…”
“Hey, she’s single now.”
“Oh my god. For half a day.” Not that I hadn’t been thinking that exact thing myself earlier today. Her expression turned more serious, looking out the window.
“Everyone needs their time to heal and bounce back, but seriously… I doubt it’s going to be like that for her.”
I pursed my lips, looking down, and I heard my own words bubble up quietly from somewhere deep down. “Because they weren’t really in a relationship to begin with.”
“Exactly. Promise me something?”
“Is it charging Haley two hundred dollars for some makeup?”
She laughed, shooting me a sidelong smile, but there was something more serious under the surface—that soft, gentle worry she always reserved for Madeleine. “Don’t pull away trying to give her space or something? What she needs right now is loving attention. And you and I both know it.”
My first reaction was the same as always, oh she doesn’t need me there, she’ll be okay, I won’t suffocate her doing that, but I caught myself. She was right. She and I did both know that. “Yeah. I promise. It’s the least I can do for her.”
“You’re the best, Sapph. I appreciate your help with the party, too.”
“No problem.” I paused. “Um… does Madeleine know about the party?”
She waved me off. “Yeah, I told her I’d make dinner.”
“Britt, this isn’t… isn’t making dinner a few orders of magnitude smaller than…”
“Relax,” she laughed. “I’m just making sure she knows she’s loved.”
Funny how Madeleine could get so up in her own head convinced quality time with someone you love was just an illusion, a fake promise from the world, when she and Britt already gave each other so much, when she had all these friends around her. But I guess it felt different in a relationship…
“What are you brooding about?” Britt said, and I laughed.
“Nothing. Just… glad you two have each other.”
“I’ll put you out the window if you keep talking like that, always acting like you’re an outsider. My life was so fucking boring until Mads called me like hey I’m on the run from a creepy butler with a mysterious stranger. ”
“I’m… happy to help, then?”
She didn’t get to say anything, because that was when footsteps came up outside the door, and then the sound of a key fitting into a lock—the latch turned, and the door swung open, Madeleine stepping inside looking like she’d just worked forty hours instead of four, and she jolted when Britt jumped up from the sofa, shouting surprise along with Haley, who just about fell over the table shouting it along with her.
Madeleine sighed, shoulder slumping, and she shut the door, a small smile on her lips. “I really should have guessed this was what you meant by cooking dinner. ”
Britt put her hands on her hips. “Sapphire went to all this hard work setting this up, and you don’t even say thank you?”
I put my hands up. “Me? I barely did anything!”
Across the counter, Haley shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re ignoring all of Sapphire’s hard work like that, Madeleine.”
I hung my head. “Oh my god, everyone’s in on it.”
But it got a laugh out of Madeleine, who dropped her bag by the door, kicking her shoes off. “Thanks, everyone. Or I should say, thanks, Sapphire.”
Britt was right about the party—we all sat together with Britt’s random assortment of small meals, talking and laughing, and I saw some of the color come back into Madeleine’s expression through the meal, some of the light coming back into her eyes. When we finally finished dinner, Ellen brought the cake out of the fridge while Haley and Britt tag-teamed narrating every part of the cake decoration I’d done, until I was about halfway shrunk under the table burying my face in the tablecloth, but at least Madeleine laughed, sounding like herself again. Zach, who was the type to stay quiet until the subject was on something he wanted to talk about and then take off at full speed, got to gush with Madeleine about their class projects as we wound down with cake and drinks, and as the evening went on, Britt edged closer to Haley, talking about something that seemed to be a world just for the two of them.
It was past nine o’clock by the time everything whittled down to a satisfied, peaceful quiet, and Ellen was the first to leave—apparently Zach was the token man and Ellen was the token morning person, because she looked like she was about to fall asleep on the table. Zach went next, telling Madeleine she wasn’t allowed to not send him the drafts of her current project once she had them because he was dying to see them, and Haley stuck around for one more drink before she went, and Britt hung at the door looking after her like a lovesick puppy.
And also checking out her butt while she left.
“For the record,” Madeleine said, as Britt shut the door, “is this always what you consider cooking dinner to be?”
Britt shrugged, batting her eyelashes innocently. “I don’t know what you mean. Sapphire’s the one who put the party together.”
I scowled. “I have the text logs to show you telling me to come over to the party and do nothing.”
Britt looked at me like I’d just shot her dog. “Sapphire! Pulling out receipts on me when I’m trying to hype you up?”
Madeleine shook her head, laughing. “Never change, Britt. Thanks for this… it’s nice.”
Britt dropped into a chair, folding her legs. “How are you feeling?”
She shrugged. “Tired. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Full of cake.”
Britt perked up. “Did I mention Sapphire decorated—”
“Britt,” I pleaded.
Madeleine turned in her chair, looking out the window. “It definitely… doesn’t feel like it did this morning. I’ll be all right. I just need some time. But this was nice.”
Britt smiled softly at her. “You take all the time you need. You’ve got two gays here to look after you now.”
“Practically a whole gay menagerie,” Madeleine said airily. “Thank you. But I’d like to think about something else now.”
Britt didn’t miss a beat—she gestured at me, eyes sparkling, and said, “Well, how about this gay right here, who just got her first gig as a superstar makeup artist?”
“Britt.” I hung my head. Madeleine gave me an odd smile.
“You did?”
“Not really… Haley and Ellen asked if I could show them a few things about makeup, Haley to go to her friend’s birthday party.”
Britt puffed out her chest. “Her going rate is two hundred dollars for the basic package—”
“She said she’ll cover the cost of the makeup I need,” I said, just a little louder than I needed to. Britt waved me off.
“And then some. Or I’ll track her down and unalive her.”
“Unalive… is that just killing?”
“Plus, you had your first job interview today,” Britt said. “Girl’s on the up-and-up.”
Oh, god. I guess now I did have to admit it to Madeleine. Madeleine gave me an inquisitive look, and I put a hand over my face.
“I told you, it didn’t… go very well…”
Madeleine was the one to respond. “Getting one at all is still progress, though. Especially if you’ve never interviewed before, it makes sense you might have to give it a couple tries before it takes.”
I shook my head. “I guess… but it’s just… I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Before what?” Madeleine said, her voice soft.
“Before my hotel booking runs out. I mean, if I have to find a job, and then wait until I get a paycheck, and then start looking for an apartment… it’s going to be ages before I actually get something. And I don’t have a lot of money to extend that booking for long. I just…”
Madeleine frowned. “You know, we’re not going to let you land on the street.”
Britt nodded. “The apartment really can’t handle three people for long, but if it’s just to tide you over, you can crash on the couch or something.”
I swallowed. “I-I don’t want to impose on you after everything you’ve already done for me. Not since I…”
Britt raised her eyebrows. “Not since you what?”
I chewed my lip, looking away. “Not since I… I already have a place. To myself.”