Chapter Forty
Dean
Killian pushed open the front door to Blake’s house and let the screen door slam behind him.
I stopped outside on the porch, trying to gather myself together.
I had that dream about Beau again. The one where we had the house on the water and he kissed me when I walked through the door.
I didn’t wake up with cum in my underwear this time, but with tears on my cheeks and an ache in my chest that I couldn’t erase.
“If you wanted some privacy, you should have gone upstairs.” Killian’s voice was loud and full of laughter. “Is this what the two of you have been doing this morning? Jackson is pissed.”
“He’s not pissed, more like a little worried,” Matthias assured them.
Jackson pushed his way inside, followed by Maverick. “I am pissed,” he said.
“What’s going on here?” Maverick asked curiously.
Okay, now I really was curious. I moved to the screen door just in time to see Tom yank his shirt over his head. “We’re together,” he announced, and I smiled at his admission.
“Wait, you two are back together?” Jackson gasped. “You know I’m more than happy for both of you.”
Blake blushed and ducked his head before he reached for Tom’s hand. “Yeah, we’re back together.”
“Jesus Christ, finally,” Maverick muttered and winked over his shoulder at me.
Tom stared at my brother. “What do you mean, finally? You knew?”
“More like suspected. You were always together. Rushing off to spend time with one another like Jax and I did. I might have given Blake shit a time or two when I was in my asshole phase. I’m really sorry about that.” Maverick ducked his head shyly.
Blake shook his head. “Don’t be. You had your own thing to figure out, Mav.” He reached up to touch Tom’s face with his free hand. “Tommy and I are working on our own shit. Whatever we are, I love him. I want to be with him.”
Jackson’s eyes hadn’t moved from where Blake’s fingers were, touching the scar that was engraved on Tom’s face. “I can’t believe that you’re allowing him to touch your face.”
“Does anyone in this band know how to have a healthy relationship?” I blurted from the porch before I could stop myself.
“It’s not me, if that’s what you’re wondering.
I had my first taste of dick, and now I don’t know if I’m bisexual or just into one guy who knew how to make me come so hard I thought I might black out. ”
Maverick groaned as he pressed his face into Jackson’s chest. “Please tell my brother to stop talking about sex. It’s weird.”
“Yeah, only if you tell mine to do the same thing, sweetheart.” Jax wrapped an arm around him.
Killian’s mouth had dropped open. “Wait a minute! Who are you talking about right now? What guy? When did this happen, and why is this the first time I’m hearing about it?” He stormed over to the screen door.
“Can we forget that I said anything? We have a wedding to celebrate.” I took a step away from my best friend as I took in the hurt on his face. Which was exactly what I had been afraid would happen.
Killian shook his head. “No fucking way. I need details.”
“Shouldn’t you be happy for me? I met someone,” I murmured as my singer pushed the door open. “Someone who made me forget all about your sister. Look, I don’t want to talk about him, okay? He ghosted me, and I can’t really seem to get over that.”
“Ghosted you? Who is this dickhead? Give me a name so I can kick his ass,” Killian hissed.
Jackson growled. “Watch it, Hampton.”
“Does that mean you know who it is? Wait a second, is it one of his teammates? Dean, talk to me.” Killian moved closer and dragged me away from the rest of our friends and family.
I shook my head. “I... I don’t want to think about him.” And I didn’t want to cry again. Not here in front of Killian or anyone else.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Killian whispered. “Did you think I would judge you or think less of you? I’m bi. I literally live for Matthias and his body. I love everything about that man. If anyone understands what you’re going through, it’s me.”
I sniffed. “I’m not scared to come out.”
“Is he?” Killian grunted, and I heard the sound of him cracking his knuckles. Always so dramatic. “Why would he ghost you? You’re fucking amazing. Best friend in the world.”
I smiled at his words. “Thanks, man, you are, too.” I sighed. “Beau has a son. And he doesn’t want to do anything that would bring attention to him. He’s not ready to come out yet, and I have to respect that.”
“Wait.” Killian narrowed his eyes at me.
“The kid you posted on your Insta? That’s the guy’s father?
I saw that and liked it. Just figured it was one of Jax’s teammates’ kids you were hanging with.
You called him your bestie. Kind of hurt.
” He placed a hand over his heart and grinned at me. “You really like him.”
I let out a long breath. “Pretty sure I’m in love with him.”
“Well, shit.” Killian stared at me. “Want me to mess with him?”
I chuckled at the thought. “You and Mav really are dicks, you know that?”
“We love you.” Killian grabbed me and yanked me into a tight hug. “And yeah, we’re dicks when we want to be. Only because we have to look out for our boy.”
We stepped back into the house, and I watched as Killian reached for Matthias.
Now I was the only single one in a house full of couples.
Even Blake had Tom, and I was all by myself.
This really sucked. I was going to have to try one of those dating apps.
Or maybe Jax had another teammate who was interested in me.
Or maybe... No, Beau was buried in my skin like a second layer.
“What did we decide?” Killian asked.
“We’re hanging here.” Jackson answered, then tapped on my shoulder. “He’s coming to the wedding.”
I nodded. “I’m well aware of that fact.” Dread sank inside of my belly at the thought of what might happen when I saw him. Ignoring Beau was high on my list, but I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to do that.
“Good, maybe I can talk some sense into him,” Killian warned, shooting a smirk at Jackson. “What? If the guy doesn’t know a good thing, then maybe I need to remind him.”
I shook my head. “Kill.” Didn’t we just talk about this?
“You won’t even notice when I take him out. Mav will help.” Killian raised his chin before Matthias snorted and grabbed his face to kiss him.
Maverick wiggled his brows at me. “I mean, I already warned him once what would happen if he ghosted you again.” And there it was.
“He’s done it before?” Killian gasped. “That mother—”
“Okay!” Jackson exclaimed. “Since we’re going to have another party here at Blake’s tonight, why don’t we start thinking about what we want to have for food? Another bonfire, maybe? Helena and Ryan will be here after they finish up work.”
Killian made a motion for me to come closer to him as I caught Blake and Tom kissing in the corner. That was going to take a little getting used to, but if I could handle Maverick and Jackson, then I could handle anything.
“Yes?” I asked.
“I will have words with him,” Killian told me. “Not at the wedding, of course, because I don’t want to ruin Mav’s big day, but he needs to know this is not okay. You don’t play with someone’s heart like that. Don’t make excuses.”
Matthias glanced between the two of us. “Kill, you weren’t always kind to me.”
“I was a stupid kid, babe. Beau is a grown-ass adult man with a son. He should know better. And...” Killian turned to face his fiancé. “I’m sorry for the shit I put you through. I love you more than life itself, and I wouldn’t be the man I am without you here right now.”
Matthias’s eyes grew wide. “I love you,” he whispered, and I turned away before they did something gross, like start sucking one another’s face off. I had seen and heard enough of that already.
“You okay?” Maverick asked. “And don’t lie, because I’ll know.”
I shrugged. “I feel better now that everyone knows. The wedding will be the hardest part, but seeing you marry Jackson will be the best.”
“Aw.” Maverick beamed and grabbed my hands with cool, calloused ones. “When we get back from our honeymoon, I want you to give serious consideration to moving to Boston. I don’t want you so far away in California.”
I swallowed nervously. “Maybe.”
“That’s not a no, so I’ll take it.” Mav grinned, then hugged me. “Thank you, Dean. For being the best brother. I love you.”
I hugged him back. “I love you, too, Mav.”