Chapter Eighteen
Eighteen
JJ
I t’s a strange thing, falling in love with your own husband. It wasn’t supposed to happen, and part of me knew I was in for an even bigger heartache than I had with Brody, but it was turning out to be as inevitable as breathing. As a heartbeat. And you can’t tell your heart not to beat.
I’d never had a man rush to my defense like that. Not even my dad, who had always taken care of my needs, especially after my mom died, and who I knew was proud of me. But even when Brody did what he did at our wedding, my father seemed angrier about how it had embarrassed him in front of his colleagues than concerned with my broken heart. I mean, I’m sure he cared about my feelings, he was just never good with women’s tears, so he avoided them, which meant I was left to deal with the emotional fallout basically alone since I didn’t have my mother anymore.
This protective Nico? He was irresistible. He pierced me straight through the soul.
Nico’s calloused fingers slid down my sides, bringing bumps in their wake. “He called me a cheater,” he murmured, bringing my gaze up to his. “I guess that means those photos have officially hit the news.”
“I guess so.”
“You gonna be okay with that?” His hands cupped my hips and drew me close, his lips grazing my temple.
“I’ll be fine. This is my job, remember?”
“PR is your job, yeah, but this is our marriage.”
I froze, then turned to meet his dark gaze. “Is it? I thought we were taking this day by day?”
He sighed like he was torn. “We are.”
“I know this is confusing, Nico.” I ran my fingers through his hair, remembering how I used to think it was way too long. “But I was thinking... when we get home, and we’re taking things day by day, what do you think about doing that as a real married couple?”
“Real? As in...?” A dark brow winged up as he studied me seriously.
I took his hands from my hips and linked our fingers again. “You said you could maybe love me. Did you mean that?” I took a wobbly breath as we stared into each other’s eyes. “I don’t expect the words today. Just the truth.”
Slowly, he nodded. “Yeah. I meant it.”
Hope, fragile and yearning, bloomed in my chest, bringing a soft smile to my face. “Then do you want to move in with me when we get back to LA? Be my plus one to events? Have dinners at home with me? Maybe get a dog with me?” I began to spell out all my dreams of the perfect marriage, the thing that was coming to mean even more to me than my perfect career. The faster I talked, the wider his eyes and smile got. “Or a cat if you’re not a dog person. Go to museums with me and take walks in the park, go on vacations with me and make love with me on rainy Sunday mornings, and—”
He pressed a finger to my lips, shushing me. “I am down for all of that and more.”
I smiled past his finger. “You are?”
“Hell, yes. Just a couple of things.”
My grin fell a fraction. “What?”
“I’ll take you up on the dog, but only if it’s something small that will fit on my lap.”
“You want a lapdog?”
He nodded.
“Are we talking like a Chihuahua or Maltipoo?”
He scratched his chest as he thought about it. “I was thinking maybe one of those... what’s the one with the long hair they put little bows in?”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “A shih tzu?”
“Yeah. That. Is that so bad? They’re cute.” I could not tell if he was messing with me.
“Definitely cute. Shih tzu it is.” I bit my lip and tried to stop laughing as I took in the long-haired, tattooed man in front of me, talking about cute little lapdogs. “What’s the other thing?”
“I love all that stuff you just described, but you realize I spend like half my life on the road, right?”
“Oh.” So, was he saying it wouldn’t work? The road also meant groupies. I inwardly groaned. “Right.”
“So, can we add you traveling with me to some of my shows, wearing skimpy dresses with no panties backstage while you watch me play, and letting me fuck you like a rock star in weird and random places once in a while?” As he spoke, he crowded my space and cupped my jaw, his voice dropping an octave to low and dreamy. “Can those be real married couple things, too?”
I clenched my thighs and let his ideas add fuel to our fiery fantasy. “I think so,” I said, my own voice breathy.
His thumb traced my lower lip. “I wasn’t sure at first, but I have to say, I am starting to love the hell out of married life.”
I bit his finger and watched his eyes flare.
Screw it. If I was going to be married to a rock star, I was going to enjoy the hell out of it. “Me, too.”
So it wasn’t all peaches and cream. I should’ve known the honeymoon—such that it was—wouldn’t last, and we were in for a big, heaping dose of reality the minute we landed back in LA, starting with the barrage of screaming fans at the airport.
Let me clarify. Screaming female fans. Who all hated my guts.
Nico just smiled and laughed, waving at his adoring masses, while we raced from the private jetway into the airport, but I couldn’t help but hear their jeers.
Bitch! Whore! Nico is mine, you blond bimbo!
And my personal favorite: He only put a ring on it because she swallows!
I clutched his hand tighter and ran with him, hating that I was letting them get to me, especially after all we’d shared. I knew better. I was better. But...
Nico yanked me to a stop after we cleared the doors of the airport and were alone. “Hey.” He studied my face. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
His eyes roved over me for a minute. “You’re not seriously listening to any of that bullshit, are you? Because that’s all it is. Crazy fan bullshit. It’ll pass.”
I took a breath and got myself together. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just still adjusting after being in a bubble with you for the past three weeks.”
He glanced over as a group of people rushed past us, but nobody paid us any mind, then he focused back on me, his fingers brushing over mine. “We’re doing this, right? You and me?”
I swallowed and nodded, wondering if this was the craziest or most awesome decision of my life. Only time would tell.
He tilted his head toward the exit. “Then let’s get started by going home and ordering a pizza. I’m starved.”
I could only laugh because nothing had ever sounded more perfect.
Normal life beckoned at home too with a gigantic pile of mail, including about a dozen bills and a request from a journalist for an exclusive interview taped to my front door.
“Ugh.” I ripped it down and was ready to cuss about the craziness of all of this again when Nico quite literally swept me off my feet, making me squeak in surprise. “What are you doing?”
He waggled his brows at me as he kicked open my unlocked door. “Carrying my wife across the threshold. That’s still a thing, right?”
I clutched his neck, gooey emotion sweeping through my body like melted caramel. “I think so.”
We were grinning at each other as he stepped inside my place and used his booted heel to close the door behind us. Once we were alone in the silence, he still didn’t put me down.
“We’ve got this, don’t we?”
My smile fell as I felt his need for reassurance, which made me ache to give it to him, even though I didn’t know how. “I hope so.”
“Are we insane, JJ?”
“Probably.”
His fingers tightened on my thighs as he squeezed me close. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For so much, I’m not sure I can put it into words. But mostly, thank you for seeing me. I think you’re the first person who ever has.”
Tears filled my eyes fast and hot, making him a dark, beautiful blur. “Nico...” I feathered my fingers into his hair and pulled his mouth to mine, showering him with butterfly kisses as my tears rained down between us, wetting both our cheeks.
This broken man was undoing me in every single way I could be undone, and I had zero sense of control. It was both the most frightening and most exhilarating thing I’d ever experienced.
“Nico... please...” I began to whimper and beg against his lips until he finally put me down so I could tug at his clothes and begin to lead him down the hall toward my bedroom. There was definitely more than sex between us, but this was quickly becoming our most profound love language. We communicated so much with our sighs and groans, kisses and caresses, that was hard to say in words, but we understood it all the same.
I had never let a man take control of my body and my heart the way I allowed him, but it was as natural as being born. As dying. As coming alive again, which was how he made me feel when he touched me like I was made of starlight and water and yet was something precious and rare.
He stripped us both naked and rolled on a condom, the sunshine streaming in through my open window to caress his bronze, tattooed skin as he towered over me on my bed.
I reached up and touched one of his nipple piercings—another thing I’d come to love—and gently tugged. He hissed in response, so I leaned up and took it into my mouth, toying with it with my tongue and making him groan loudly. Now I saw why he did that to himself.
My husband.
Correction... my damn sexy husband.
Mine.
I took his left hand and kissed the titanium band on his ring finger, wondering why the idea of it being there turned me on so much. It never had before. Not with Brody, not with anyone. Not until Nico.
Seeming to get it, he slowed his movements and opened his hand, palm side up, displaying his ring and encouraging me to give him my own.
When I did, he bent his head and kissed every one of my fingers, saving my ring finger for last.
“My beautiful, perfect wife,” he murmured against my skin. “Please don’t let me fuck this up.”
“Okay,” I whispered, letting myself caress his stubble and the length of his hair. “As long as you just fuck me .”
It took him a second, but my words finally registered and dark eyes lifted to mine. “Is my wife asking me to perform my husbandly duties?”
I shook my head, bottom lip between my teeth.
“No?” His face fell and it was really so adorable.
“No.” I tugged him until I could wrap my thighs around his waist and smile up into his eyes as I toyed with his piercing again. “I mean, husbandly duty sounds so... vanilla missionary, don’t you think?” I let my grin turn a little more wicked. “I was hoping for something that felt a bit more like I married a rock star.”
“Oh, really?”
I squealed in laughter when he flipped us on a dime so I was on my knees, my hair in his fist, his hardness lined up with my core.
“Is this more what you had in mind?” he gritted out as he teased my entrance with his hard length, making me groan and rock back toward him.
“Maybe.”
He smacked my ass, making me yelp.
“Yes! Okay, yes!” I laughed into the pillow and clenched the comforter in my fists, twisting to look at him over my shoulder. “This is perfect... You’re...” I cried out on a moan when he rammed home in one hard thrust. “Perfect.”
He ripped any other words from my throat as he began to fuck me just like I’d asked for. Like a rock star. Hard and fast and decadent.
In the background, I heard the faint sound of banging, but I blocked it out as he worked my body like another one of his instruments. Every cell in my body was vibrating and a scream was trapped in my throat, I was so close... and the noise got louder.
“Hello?!”
“Ignore it,” Nico panted, moving faster and deeper. “Come for me, baby. Now.” His fingers slid over me, circling, and giving me no choice but to obey his rough command.
I bit my pillow and screamed out as he wrung me dry, pumping his own violent release into me with a loud groan.
After a minute, he leaned over my back and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck as the banging got louder and more frantic.
“JJ! I know you’re in there! Open up or I’m calling the cops for a welfare check!”
Now I recognized Stassia’s voice, and I grimaced as Nico pulled out and rolled away to give me room to move.
“Should I be worried?” he asked.
I sat up and yanked on some clothes. “Maybe a little. Stassia can be a... handful.” I headed toward the door as she continued to knock and call my name. “But she means well.”
“I’m serious,” she said. “I want to lay eyes on you and make sure that rocker hasn’t ruined you—”
I opened the door to find her with her fist up, ready to bang again. She dropped her arm as her eyes raked me up and down, taking in my disheveled appearance and what I was sure was a nice hickey forming on my throat.
“Hey,” I said. “Nice to see you too. Would you like to come inside and meet my husband?”
Her face flushed as her gaze darted over my shoulder. “He’s here?” she stage-whispered.
“He is,” I whispered back. “And I’m sure he’s dressed by now.”
Her mouth fell open in shock. “Where is my best friend, and what have you done with her?”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I tugged her into a hug before pulling her inside and closing the door. “I’ve missed you too.”
“This isn’t a secret cry for help, is it?” she said for my ears only. “Because I will get you out of here so fast his head will spin.”
“No. I’m really fine. Come on in and see for yourself.”
She didn’t seem convinced, but she gripped my hand and let me lead her inside, where we found Nico dressed and in the kitchen, poking around my cabinets.
I tried to see him through my best friend’s eyes. Definitely not my usual type, I could see why she was worried, especially with how fast things had moved between us. Plus, he had a reputation—a well-earned one—and she didn’t even know half the story. In her shoes, I’d be worried too, except... something in my heart wanted to fall. Wanted to trust. Maybe wanted to break for this man. And I guess I was going to let it.
He heard us enter and turned around, an old bottle of orange juice in his fist. “Hey.” He smiled at Stassia before setting it down to walk over and offer his hand. “I’m Nico. You must be the best friend.”
She took him in from full head of long black hair down to bare feet before slowly accepting his handshake. “I am. And you’re the husband.”
His smile grew. “I am.”
“JJ is an amazing woman,” she said, narrowing her gaze on him. “If you hurt her, don’t think I won’t hunt you down and disembowel you, famous rock star or not.”
“Stassia!” I cried, but I was ignored by both parties.
He lifted both hands in surrender, his gaze glinting with amusement and admiration. “Duly noted.” His eyes darted to me, then back to Stassia. “And just for the record, I feel the same way.” He leaned in toward her and lowered his voice. “I nearly got myself thrown in jail fighting some asshole because he dared to talk shit about her. If someone touched her wrong?” His entire countenance instantly became a dark thunder cloud. “You wouldn’t have to hunt anyone down because I’d end them for you.”
She turned to me in surprise, her brows lifted.
I just stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
But he ignored me. “It was nice to meet you, Stassia.” His eyes were troubled as he faced me. “I’m gonna go call Lance and check in with the band. You guys should take some time to catch up.”
“Wait!” I grabbed his arm when he tried to walk away. “What are you talking about?” I asked under my breath. “The night I had to pick you up at the bar so you wouldn’t get arrested? Was that fight about me?”
He looked away like he didn’t want to talk about it, but the answer was obvious. My heart thumped wildly in my chest, not sure what to do with this new information. Finally, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to my temple, then walked away, leaving me achy and confused.
“JJ?” Stassia said behind me. “What the hell? Have you fallen for that man?”
I turned with my hand to my chest, the realization wildly exhilarating yet terrifying. “I think so.”