2. At A Loss For Words
CHAPTER 2
At A Loss For Words
H eath’s brain swirled in a mass of confusion, but his body reacted to all the training he’d had in the military.
He caught Addy before she hit the ground. Her face was ashen. Even the snow had more color. When he’d first spotted her, the part of her face he could see above the scarf had glowed with its normal gorgeous, coppery tone. Then she’d flushed a deep red as she’d yelled nonsense at him.
Then, a terrifying shade of pale.
Her body had simply wilted, but he’d caught her before she’d thumped to the ground. At seventeen, she’d been a tiny thing, waif-like in body but with the determination of a superhero. All these years later, he figured she didn’t weigh a single ounce more.
Addy was breathing, but it was shaky, and her heart beat furiously under his hands.
He needed to get to a doctor, but he’d only arrived in Phail, and he didn’t know if any doctors were even in this town.
He moved to the street and shouted. “Help. I need a doctor. Help.”
The street was almost empty, but a woman walking a dog along the sidewalk a few doors down pointed past him. “Doc’s is that way.”
He whirled and, sure enough, spotted a sign that read Doc’s right next to a Saloon. If he’d had anything but worry consuming him, he might have laughed at the old-time names.
Instead, he ran for the building and followed the sign that pointed out back. He rounded the building and shoved through the door. “Help. I need a doctor.”
A woman ran out of a room and toward them, concern evident. She looked from Heath to Addy, and that concern deepened. “Addison. Bring her in here.” She led him to an exam room and had Heath lay Addy on the bed. He was loath to let her go but managed.
The woman slipped on gloves and a stethoscope. She unsnapped Addy’s jacket and listened quickly to her chest with a grimace. She turned, opened a drawer, and pulled out a type of oxygen mask. In a moment, she’d pushed away the scarf, strapped the mask around Addy’s head, and then hooked her up to a machine.
“This is a nebulizer. It’ll ease her breathing.” But the worry didn’t leave the doctor’s face.
She checked Addy’s heart again and then spoke to her in a soft voice as she loosened the scarf and opened her jacket. “Hi Addison. It’s Lia. You’re here in my clinic. You’ve had a severe asthma attack, and your heart is racing, but you got here in time. Well, your superhero got you here. Relax now and just breathe.”
After a few minutes of monitoring and checking, the doctor, Lia, smiled up at him. “Thank you. I’m glad you got her here. She’s going to need some rest, but she’ll be fine soon. Can you stay with her while I make a call?”
He nodded dumbly.
Even with her puffy jacket, Addy looked tiny on the examination bed. He wanted to pull off the bright polka-dotted hat and stroke his fingers through her hair. He wanted to hold her again and make sure she was okay.
His own heart rate hadn’t settled, so he paced, studying her from all angles. She’d been a pretty girl at seventeen. Now, she was stunning. He’d seen her face before the doctor had covered it with the mask. She’d matured to show that inner strength. Her eyes still flared with passion.
While he studied her, the panic receded, leaving room for his brain to click back in. Which caused another thump of panic.
At first, he’d thought Addy had mistaken him for someone else. And maybe she had. She’d never used his name, not once.
Panic and fear had radiated from her. Anger too.
None of it made sense. She was the one who’d turned her back on him.
She’d talked about packages she’d sent. About calls and texts and emails going unreturned.
None of that was true. In fact, the reverse was true.
Addy Syrette wasn’t a liar. Never had been.
So she’d mistaken him for someone else. Which seemed impossible.
Their two versions of history were opposites. And he knew his was accurate. He’d tried dozens of times to contact her, but she’d never responded.
Her words implied none of that was true. Had someone hidden the truth from her?
And from him?
Finally, his brain was calm enough to focus on the heart of her words and the heart of her panic.
He didn’t know what had really happened, but if what she had kept repeating was true, Heath had a daughter.
A daughter he’d never known existed.
A daughter who would be twelve or thirteen.
He was a father. A father who’d missed over a decade of his daughter’s life.
Anger raced through him. He had to stop, put his hands on his knees, and draw in deep breaths. She’d kept a daughter from him. Kept him from knowing his baby.
Kept him from those first steps and those first words. Stopped him from having any say in her formative years.
His muscles loosened, and he sank to a squat with his hands raking through his hair.
Her words implied two opposite truths at once. Which was real? Or what combination of them was real?
Heath’s head spun, and he wanted to be sick. Had he really missed out on seeing his baby?
He knew she hadn’t reached out. But he also knew her panic had been real.
Heath rose to his feet and stared down at the tiny form on the table. Her face had lost that pinched look. He wanted to shake her awake and demand answers. He wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go.
Lia’s voice reached him from the other side of the door. He was mostly in one piece when she opened it, phone in her hand. She slid it into her pocket and smiled at him. “Sorry about that. I wanted to make sure Nina knew Addison was safe and that someone was there to pick her up. Both of them would worry otherwise.”
Lia moved back to the exam table and checked on Addy’s heart rate and breathing. Her smile was genuine, and relief soared through him.
Lia brushed her hand along Addy’s arm. “Hey, Addison. It’s Lia. I’ve got Nimii picking up Nina, so you can relax on that front. She’s safe and with her favorite aunt. Your levels are settling nicely, and I bet you should be able to wake up in a few minutes. Then you can thank your superhero here.”
Smiling, Lia turned to him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t introduce myself or even ask your name. I’m Lia Moreno, the local doctor.”
She extended her hand, and Heath shook it. “Nice to meet you, Lia. I’m Heath. Heath Wilcox.”
And apparently I have a daughter whose name is Nina.
A ddison could feel awareness creeping back from the edges. She’d passed out again. Asthma or heart? Did it matter?
Yes. For Nina. She had to keep herself healthy for Nina.
Something tickled her brain, and she tried to blink herself into consciousness. The pressure on her chest was easing. Breath was coming without pain. The dibiki world, the dark world, generally kept her in its fog until her body and brain were ready to cope.
From a distance, she heard a voice that wasn’t Nina. She wanted to rush to the voice to check on Nina, but the process couldn’t be rushed.
It’s Lia.
Nimii.
Nina.
Safe.
The words that slid into her brain were soothing. Nina was safe. Nimii would make sure of that. And Addison herself was safe if Lia said so.
Another voice snuck into her brain. A voice so familiar. Welcome.
No. Not welcome. Not anymore.
I’m Heath. Heath Wilcox.
Addison’s eyes flew open, and she clawed her way to consciousness. Her heart raced, but she ignored it. Her hands moved to try to rip the mask off of her face, but soft hands held her down. Lia’s hands.
“Addison, it’s Lia. You’re safe. Nina’s safe. You’re here in my clinic. Breathe. Everyone’s okay. Keep that heart rate down. You know the routine. In and hold. Out and hold. Do it with me.”
She breathed with Lia and let her mind sort through the mess. Memory returned, but she kept her breathing constant. It would give her more time to form a plan. If Heath was here, it couldn’t possibly be good news.
But she would handle it. Like she’d handled everything else since the stick said pregnant . Despite all of her attempts at contact, he’d ignored her daughter until now. No court would give him custody based on that alone.
Unless his father was friends with the judge.
She wouldn’t allow that to happen. Her support system had grown since she’d been a foster kid. The people in Phail would support her and provide character witnesses. She wouldn’t let him take her daughter.
With determination buoying her, she managed to relax and regulate her breathing. She opened her eyes again to find Lia smiling down at her. “There you are. Take it easy. The wind chill must have surprised you. Your body’s had a bit of a shock, so let’s take it easy.”
A bit of shock. Lia had no idea.
Lia removed the mask, watched her carefully for a few moments, and then nodded. When Addison started to push to a sitting position, her friend moved to help her. And so did another set of hands. A familiar set of hands.
She took a slow breath and finally lifted her gaze to find Heath studying her warily.
Twelve years had changed him from a good-looking kid to a gorgeous man. His athletic body was thicker and stronger. His face was more mature and even better looking.
But it was his eyes that held her. Those eyes were full of emotion she couldn’t identify. Not anymore. This man had learned to hide his thoughts and his feelings.
She had to do the same.
Lia used her stethoscope to check her heart again and then smiled. “Good. Your levels are much better. If Heath hadn’t carried you in here, things could have been much worse. As is, you’re going to need to rest. Your lungs need that recovery time. Nimii is picking up Nina, so you don’t have to worry about her. I’m going to have you rest here for a bit, then we’ll see about getting you home.”
Because after an episode like this, she wouldn’t be driving for a day or two. Not until Lia decided she was ready again.
All of which made her look weak. Something she couldn’t afford in front of Heath.
Dragging her remaining dignity around her, she nodded at him. Lia appeared to pick up on the tension, and her gaze whipped between them. “Is everything okay, Addison?”
Was it? Probably not, but saying that wasn’t helpful. Instead, she nodded. “Heath and I used to know each other a long time ago.”
His face didn’t give anything away, but he nodded as well. A chime rang in the back of the clinic.
Lia frowned. “Are you good if I go check with my other appointment?”
When they both nodded, she pointed at Addison. “No talking, no standing, no stress. Breathing is your only job right now.”
Which was awkward as hell. She wanted to find out what Heath wanted. Well, she probably knew what he wanted. But she wanted to tell him tough beans and send him on his way.
Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to pretend he wasn’t there. Which wasn’t possible. Her body had always known when Heath was in the room. Or when he was looking at her. Which he was doing now. After more than twelve years, her body shouldn’t still react to him, shouldn’t still yearn.
She wondered what he saw. Weakness? An obstacle? Did he feel even a bit of the awareness shivering through her?
A sharp knock on the door preceded its opening. “Mom? Are you okay?”
Dizziness threatened to return, but Addison shoved it down and smiled for her daughter. Nina moved right in front of Addison and threw her arms around her. Addison returned the hug and just held on. Sometimes, Nina was the strong one. Okay, more than sometimes. Her daughter was the best person Addison knew, and she soaked up her warmth and love.
When she broke off from the hug, Nina studied her face with a slight frown. “That was a bad one. Lia says you’re okay. Are you?”
Addison nodded. “I’m good.”
“I was going to help Nimii with one of her projects. She’s going to teach me to make moccasins. But I’ll do that another day.”
Addison shook her head. “Not a chance. I’m fine. I promise. All I’m going to do is rest, anyway. You have fun with Nimii.”
Nina studied her some more but finally nodded. “Okay, but I’ll be checking in on you.” Which she would. Nina was nothing if not responsible and kind.
Then Nina turned to Heath, and Addison’s heart nearly stopped. But instead of asking questions, Nina smiled. “You must be the man who helped my mom get here. Thank you. She’s the best mom in the world.”
Nina threw her arms around Heath and hugged him hard. Shock covered his features for a moment, and then he hugged her back, emotion and tears swimming in his eyes.
Nina repeated her thanks, turned to hug Addison again, and then whirled out of the room before anyone said another word.
After that hug and Heath’s response, Addison struggled to contain her emotions. Nina deserved to know her father, which was why Addison had sent packages of pictures and letters about her development on every birthday.
And even if Heath hadn’t wanted to be in her life before, Addison had no right to keep him out now.
His growly voice drew her attention. “We need to talk.”
Words every woman wanted to hear.