3. You Lost Me
CHAPTER 3
You Lost Me
H eath could barely contain the questions, but this wasn’t the place. He needed to get Addy alone and find out why the hell she hadn’t told him he had a daughter.
And he had to contain the anger. Somehow. Although one look at Addy and a lot of it seeped away. Her beautiful face was pale and drawn. Her eyes held wariness.
The doctor returned with a smile and checked Addy over once again. “Okay. You’re good to go as long as you promise to stay warm and rest. A lot.”
Addison nodded without a smile. “I will.”
Lia nodded. “I’ve got another patient, so I can’t drive you home. Who would you like me to call?”
“I’ll drive her home.” The words spilled out of Heath’s mouth without his permission, but he meant them. He wanted to know everything about Nina, and this would give them some alone time to discuss things.
Lia turned to Addy. “That okay with you?”
Obviously, the doctor had picked up on the tension. Addy studied him for a moment and then nodded.
Lia turned to him again. “She knows the rules, but you don’t. The cold air, especially with a wind chill, is dangerous for Addison. You’ll need to bring your vehicle right to her house and get as close to her door as you can. If you could make her tea and make sure she’s warm and comfortable before you leave, that would be helpful.”
Addison started to protest, but Lia grinned at her. “You need to be resting, not puttering around the house. I’m sure Heath won’t mind.”
He nodded. Taking care of Addy wouldn’t be a hardship. He’d always wanted to do that, but apparently, he hadn’t been enough for her. The only problem was the mountain of anger and unanswered questions in their way.
How could she have kept their daughter from him? Even if she’d fallen out of love, he’d thought they’d had enough mutual like and history to get past that. He was a good man, and he had a right to know.
Feeling the fury crawling up his throat, he fought the urge to pace the room again. He had to bank the anger if he wanted answers.
His military training helped him again. He shoved the emotions aside and pulled out his mission face. Finally, he figured he would be able to speak calmly. “I’ll get my car.”
Then he strode out of the clinic and to the lot where he’d parked. He hadn’t seen any of his friends yet, but they would have to wait. This was far too important. None of them even knew he was coming, so they wouldn’t be waiting or worrying.
It only took a few seconds for him to drive his new Atlas to the back door of the clinic, but the heater was already doing its job and the car’s interior should be warm enough for Addison. The heated seats would help, too.
He opened the clinic’s back door to find her leaning against the doorjamb of the exam room. Her eyes were closed, and she wore exhaustion like an extra jacket.
Concern wormed its way through the anger for this woman who’d owned his heart when he was a teen. The same woman who’d shattered it into irreparable pieces.
At the moment, she looked as shattered as he’d ever felt. Before he’d realized his intent, he’d crossed the waiting room and was in the hallway.
Her eyes opened, and she straightened and tried to blank her eyes. Too late. He’d seen the fear.
Without giving her a chance to object, Heath lifted her gently into his arms and turned back to the waiting room.
Giving away how worn out she was, Addy didn’t protest. Instead, she tucked her scarf over her mouth and leaned into him.
And that shouldn’t warm his heart. He shouldn’t be able to feel some of the shards clicking back into place.
He shifted her weight and opened the car door, then slid her into the seat and closed it up. He blew out a deep breath as he rounded the car and got into the driver’s seat.
Once they were buckled in, he reversed onto the street. “Point me in the right direction.”
They didn’t speak as Addy directed him through town. Past Troy’s Phail General. They drove north through some hills and farmland. After a few minutes, Addy indicated a left turn onto a country road. Not long after that, she pointed right at a tiny home that looked like a postcard with a snowman in the front yard.
He drove up the plowed drive and pulled up right beside the side door. “Keys?”
She flinched at his demand but then sighed and pulled the keys out of her pocket and handed them over.
The house door jammed, but once he’d shoved it open, he returned and lifted her from the car and strode into the house. Snow covered his shoes, so he kicked them off.
The tiny entry opened up to a kitchen. He moved through the space to a living room. There was a hallway to one side, probably leading to bedrooms and a bathroom.
In the living room, a comfortable-looking couch took up half of the small space. There were two desks and chairs along one wall and another cushioned chair. All worn and well-used, but clean and tidy.
He placed Addy on the couch and then knelt to take off her boots. He took them back to the entry and put them beside his shoes.
The sight hit him in the heart, but he shoved that aside, too. He needed answers, not to be drawn into Addy’s magical orbit.
Deciding he needed a minute, he filled the kettle and set it on the stove, then waited for the water to boil. The open shelving on one wall made it easy to find mugs and several tea options. He wasn’t surprised to see several with cinnamon. That had always been Addy’s favorite.
He took off his coat and hung it on the hooks by the back door. A small hoody hung there. Addy’s or Nina’s?
He fingered the material and then shoved it away. He needed those answers. Needed to know why.
The kettle boiled, and he filled two infusers with the tea and let it steep for a couple of minutes. Then he carried both mugs through to the living room, hoping he was calm enough for the conversation.
Addy had taken off her jacket, hat, and scarf and set them on the other end of the couch. Her raven black hair tumbled over her shoulders, shiny and enticing as ever.
As she often had, Addy leaned to one side, letting the hair become a shield between her and the world. Her head rested on a pillow, and her body was hidden beneath a wooly blanket.
He hadn’t made a sound, but as soon as he crossed into the living room, her eyes flew open. She smiled softly and then shoved herself to a sitting position, face once again carefully blank.
He shoved his own mask into place as he put her tea down on the table beside her. Then he crossed to the chair and sat.
For a long moment, they simply stared at each other.
Finally, Addison picked up her mug and blew across the top of it. “Thank you.” When she set it back down again, she tucked her hair behind her ears. A sign of the stress she felt.
Her gaze flickered to his and to her hands, then back. “Okay. First, you need to know I won’t give her up. Ever. And I have to know, why now? After all this time when you’ve never wanted anything to do with Nina, why now? What’s changed?”
It was like a sword had shoved its way into his heart. “What changed? What changed was I came to a small town to meet up with a friend and the next thing I know, I’d met a daughter I never knew even existed. Why would you do that to me, Addy? Why would you cut me out of her life without even giving me a chance?”
A ddison was glad she wasn’t holding the mug. She’d have spilled the entire thing on her lap.
Anger and confusion swirled in her still-dull brain. “What are you talking about? I sent you countless texts. And emails. I called you every week until Nina was six months old. I sent you photos and journals every year on her birthday. How dare you say I cut you out?”
Heath’s face went from frustration to confusion to anger. “You never were a liar, Addy. None of that is true. You’re the one who cut me out. You’re the one who didn’t answer any of my calls or texts or emails.”
Her mouth dropped open, and she wanted to throw something at his head. Instead, she grabbed her phone off the table and tossed it to him. “Why don’t you check? It shouldn’t take long. Have a look under your name. The password’s still the same.”
When she’d been a kid, she’d been hooked on old rock anthems from the eighties. Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ had been one of her favorites. She’d felt helpless and hopeless so much of the time. The song reminded her to keep going. To believe in the future. That no matter how bleak her life had been, she could make it better if she only believed.
She wondered if that was still true.
Heath studied her for a moment with a deep frown on his face. He looked as torn and confused as she felt. Did he really believe she would have done that to him?
After a moment, Heath typed in her password, bEliEv1n, without having to ask her what it was. She hadn’t owned a phone when they’d met. He’d bought her one of those pay-as-you-go models a few weeks before he’d disappeared on her. She’d tried to make him return it because it had been too expensive of a gift, but he hadn’t given up, and eventually, she’d accepted. They’d worked out the password together. She’d used it ever since, even when she’d finally upgraded her phone.
She watched him scroll through the phone for several minutes. Probably checking her texts and call logs. She’d never been able to delete his number or his email. That would have been too final.
After a few minutes, he looked up at her with only confusion. He stood and held up his phone. “I did change my password.”
He used facial recognition to unlock it and passed it to her.
With her heart hammering in her chest, she opened his texts and searched for her name. Addy. Because he’d never called her Addison. He was the only one who’d ever used a nickname for her, and she’d loved it. She’d loved being Addy.
When she opened the contact, she checked her phone number. It was correct. Then she scrolled through the messages.
Addy, can you at least let me know you’re safe?
Please talk to me.
I don’t know what happened between us. Can you tell me where I went wrong?
Where are you, Addy? No one knows where you are.
Addy? Talk to me. Please.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she scrolled. The texts were right there for her to see. And they all sounded like Heath. They hadn’t been manufactured in some kind of weird plan.
When she couldn’t see the phone anymore, she put it down and wiped her face with tissues from the box on the table.
Finally, she raised her face to see Heath scrubbing at his own eyes. When he looked at her, her heart skipped a beat.
For a long moment, neither spoke. Finally, she gathered her nerve. “You really didn’t get any of my messages? None of the packages? You really didn’t know?”
He shook his head and came to sit on the ottoman in front of the couch. “I really didn’t know. And you really tried to tell me.”
It wasn’t an outright question, but she answered it anyway. “I did. What happened?”
He frowned again, then picked up his phone. “Let’s try it now and see what happens.”
He texted something, and they both watched her phone. It remained silent.
Another frown. “It says it was sent. You try.”
She sent him a text that said hello . Again, only silence greeted them.
“I’m going to type in your number by hand.”
Nothing.
Addison shivered and pulled the blanket more tightly around her. “This is like a movie or a book. How is this possible? How can our phones work properly except for each other’s numbers? We’ve both changed phones since then.” Hers might still be a cheaper one, but his was top of the line.
But with the complete panic fading, she was getting an inkling of an idea. His parents had never liked her. They were old-school, old-money people who didn’t want anything or anyone to sully the family name.
An indigenous girl who’d grown up in foster care was not an acceptable match for their son. Heath had never been allowed to take her to his house, and she was sure he’d been forbidden to see her. Although, that hadn’t stopped him.
She’d encountered both of his parents several times in Boston, and those encounters had been mortifying.
Filthy gold-digger had been one of the nicer things they’d called her.
But could they do this?
He frowned. “Every time I’ve been gifted or upgraded the phone, I’ve had the data transferred.”
She nodded. “Me too.” Which pointed to his parents. No one else was likely to gift him a phone.
Heath patted her hand and frowned. “You’re freezing. Here. Drink your tea. Where can I get another blanket?”
“I’m fine. I think it’s more shock than anything.”
But she took the mug from his hands and wrapped them around it. Heath wrapped his over hers and more tears filled her eyes. He’d always been such a caring guy. Which was one reason she’d been devastated when he’d refused to respond to her.
Except he hadn’t.
“This is going to take some getting used to.”
His laugh was harsh. “You’re right. Can we put the logistics on hold for a bit? We can figure out that part later. Right now, I need to know about her. About Nina.”
His eyes misted, and his voice shook. “Please tell me about our daughter.”
Her own eyes filled. Our daughter. An hour ago, the thought of him saying those words had filled her with complete panic. But he wasn’t here to steal Nina away from her.
He hadn’t known about her. Which broke her heart.
She sipped her tea and then smiled. “She’s amazing. She’s happy, kind, and smart. At any given time, she’s got a dozen ideas about what she wants to do in the future and how she wants to improve the world. She works a couple of hours a week with our local veterinarian. She’s far more outgoing than I am.”
Because she got that from Heath. His eyes warmed at her words, and she realized he was thinking the same thing. “She’s definitely got your drive and your people skills. She loves everyone, and they love her right back.”
How to encapsulate a dozen years in a conversation? “Why don’t you scroll through the pictures on my phone?”
Hope lit up his eyes, and she made room for him to sit beside her on the couch. As they looked through the photos, she told him stories about their daughter.
Heath didn’t try to hide any of his emotions from her. He laughed a lot, but tears fell as well. He’d missed so much.
And it wasn’t his choice, as she’d always thought.
She wasn’t sure where they were going from here, but for the first time in over twelve years, a part of Addison settled.
Heath hadn’t hated her for getting pregnant. He hadn’t ignored his daughter.
And she knew he was going to do everything in his power to make up for lost time.