18 — Noah Foster
“We were living in a dream
One day, we will love the truth
And all for you, all my life, all for you
And with each day that comes, for now,
I have to let you go”
I follow — Loi
As expected, my day is crazy.
With so many meetings, I only remembered lunch thanks to Norah, as always. And there's still the worry about Beni, running around in my head. I called twice and he never answered or returned the messages I sent, I need to know about this blockhead.
— It's past lunch time, Noah. I ordered it from John and one of the boys went to collect it. You have forty minutes until the next meeting.
— Thank you, sweetie. I feel like I'm going crazy.
— Will not. Deep down, you love this company rush.
— True. — I smile wide, because she knows me too well.
Before starting the meal, I turn to the huge glass walls, analyzing all the structures in front of me, absorbing the silence that feels so good to me, however, the memories come back to me.
“And there was that unknown feeling, which had accompanied me since I was ten years old. It was something that, until today, I didn't understand well, at that time, there was nothing in me but fear and it was there, on a beautiful afternoon, resting next to that tree, watching the movement of the park, the children smiling with their families , demonstrating the affection of a simple hug that, then, a look, in particular, caught my attention.”
Focus on lunch and work, Noah!
I eat my meal, pushing my thoughts away and, shortly after, I head to the next meetings, with Norah accompanying me. Suddenly, I remember that I didn't even get to see Catarina today. Obviously, I would use the pretext of the project for this, however, I believe that my assistant will be able to tell me something.
— Norah, can you tell me if Catarina was able to advance anything on the project? — Make sure she takes my question seriously, or she'll harass me for the rest of the day.
— How interesting, boss! — I look at her, astonished. — I'm kidding, — Give a wink. — I spoke to her, and it seems that she is very committed. She's a great girl, don't you think?
— Ok. — I avoid answering the last question, despite completely agreeing with it.
— Iaiá, isn't my father at home? — I ask, as I grab the car keys to go see Beni.
— He left and I don't know if he'll be back today. — responds.
— Did he go to meet someone? This Mr. Foster is very mysterious lately — I joke, trying to get some information.
— There's no point trying, my mouth is a tomb. Let your father enjoy life.
— OK you won. I'm going out and I'll be back late, you don't have to worry about dinner. Enjoy and rest. — I say goodbye, heading to the garage, finding J. already with the security scheme ready.
— J., I don’t know what time I’m going home. If you want to go for a walk, I'll call you when I leave.
— Sir, I follow protocol.
— Beauty. — I threw the keys to him before entering the building. There would be no point in insisting.
The building's doorman is still the same, so I know I have free entry.
— Good evening, there’s no need to announce to me, I’m going to surprise Benício.
— No problem. Just a moment, so I can write it down here — he replies.
— Goodnight! I have a delivery for Benício Cooper, I think my entry is free. — When I heard it, I turned my body and saw that it was a pizza delivery man.
— You can let me deliver it, I'm going there — I offer.
— Thank you, I'm late, with so many orders today.
I nod, then the doorman tells me I can go up. I enter the elevator and start to feel restless, again I am hit by memories.
What the hell!
I get out of the elevator and, more and more, I am sure that something is not right.
I feel my pulse racing, I ring the doorbell, thinking about what this could be, it seems like a premonition and, when the door opens, I have confirmation that I'm not delirious.
Holy shit!
Today, in particular, I woke up with the feeling that something was going to happen, I just didn't expect to see those eyes again, which have accompanied me, in my memory, for eighteen years.
It's her!
It could only be her.
I haven't reached that level of madness yet.
I remain static, observing the constant presence in my dreams, now right in front of me.
I can't react, my legs won't move and my throat closes. The only action I take is not to take my eyes off her and, apparently, by the look she gives me, it's as if I've discovered a secret or can read her mind.
We are trapped in each other, I feel my body start to boil, as if I had found a lost treasure, as if I had awakened something inside me.
I can't stop looking at her, just as I can't make a sound.
— Nina, have you gotten the pizza yet? How long is this, I'm hungry!
My best friend's voice breaks me out of my trance. So many questions run through my head, however, I leave them to discover the answers later.
— Hello! — I greet the girl in front of me. — I came to see Beni and found the delivery man downstairs. I enter? — I force myself to speak as if she weren't the center of my entire world right now.
— Yes of course. — She gives me a passage, and the moment I cross the door, an item catches my attention.
On top of the sideboard there is a bag and a wig and, if I had any doubts, they have just become certain.
The woman that haunted my mind, in my moment of perversion, is real and is closer than I imagined.
She's my blue—eyed girl. It is also the one that needs our protection. If that wasn't enough, she's still my intern.
I don't get involved with employees.
NO. ME. INVOLVED. WITH. EMPLOYEES.
But she's your girl.
SHE. AND. MINE. GIRL.
Fucking traitorous mind!
I need to control myself, I can't get excited before I know more, but it's here, in front of me, my desire for the last few weeks, right in front of me!
What a crazy fuck!
She walks over to Beni and I listen as she informs him that she has a visitor, while I stand still, taking in everything.
Pretty much like an insecure teenager on their first date.
Control is something that I don't have right now.
Hell! I need to have it!
When he turns his face to see who it is, he doesn't look happy.
— Nina, please put on some decent clothes — she nods, heading to the bedroom. — And, Noah, please stop drying the girl. Damn! — I can only hope that they are not together.
— Hey dude? I'm fine too, and I wasn't drying anyone out to begin with. — Even I want to believe that. — Then? Will you tell me what happened? And don't worry, my father warned me not to come here at night and I think now I understand why. In fact, I'm sure — I say, while we're still alone.
— Dude, she's staying here, and yes, I know you're sure. But come a little closer, I want to tell you something.
As soon as I walk over and sit next to him, I get a punch in the jaw. Knowing him, I know I could have used a lot more force and practically broken myself, but I understood the “simple” warning.
At this moment, I'm even grateful that he's a little weak or my face would be destroyed.
— This is just a warning. No messing with her, understand? — he growls.
— What the fuck, Beni! What the fuck did I do!?
— He looked at her. — Points to the corridor. — Now, get your things, because I'm still hungry and I don't want to let the pizza get cold. Will you want to play with us? — he says, as if he hadn't punched me a few seconds ago.
— I go. After all, I came to check on you. By the way, we need to talk about this, too. — I indicate his leg and he sighs frustrated.
I head to the kitchen, massaging my chin. I hope it doesn't turn purple, not that I care about appearance, however, appearing like this in the company will only generate the famous corridor buzz, better known as gossip, I believe that even a bar fight will be among the assumptions.
It wasn't all bad, either. If I had to take a thousand punches, just to know that my girl is real, I would. I feel weird just recognizing her, but a good kind of weird.
How crazy!
Not even paying, I leave here today, without understanding everything I discovered just a few minutes ago.
Fact, my blue angel is steps away from me and most importantly, she is real.
She is real!
I never tire of repeating this.
The woman should not even imagine that she has been part, even if indirectly, of my life for many years.
I have an extreme need to know what she went through, I feel that there is much more than we know so far, and, above all, I need to understand the reason for Benício's alpha male reaction.
Are they just friends or are they together?
I need to know, I need to be sure that this is nothing more than a friendship.
My head is spinning, with so many unanswered questions. I look, at the very least, like a teenager being rejected by his first love.
How ironic, just me, who intended not to fall in love so soon.
Passionate?
Forget that word now!
But will it be?
—Did you make the dishes, Noah? — Beni shouts from the living room. At this moment, the plate he was holding fell to the floor, making a huge mess, scattering several pieces of porcelain.
— Fuck, man! I'm going! — I shout back, bending down to start packing everything, before someone gets hurt.
Damn time when I decided to think and completely forgot what I came here to do in the kitchen.
I start to pick up the pieces from the floor and let out a few mumbles, until a hand touches mine, making me freeze.
Again, it's as if an electric current reaches directly into my heart and my friend below.
Beautiful timing for this! — I think ironically.
— Be careful, Mr. Foster, you could end up cutting yourself if you're not careful. — Catarina stands up. — You can go and keep Bear company, and I’ll tidy everything up here — he warns, depositing some fragments in a container in the sink.
What the fuck is this intimacy? Bear?!
— Yeah, okay... — I run my hand over the back of my neck. — Sorry about that, and call me Noah, please.
— Um... Ok — she responds, without looking into my eyes and I walk out, leaving her.
? — So, Beni, tell me. Ambush? — I point, indicating his leg.
— I think so. — He shrugs. — I just remember the explosion and going out, waking up a while later. But let's leave that alone, I'm alive and I don't intend to leave this world anytime soon. Even more so now, having such good company. — Indicates the kitchen. — As for what I enjoy here. — He arches his eyebrow, as if he's testing me.
— Okay, are you having something? — I ask without hesitation.
— Let’s say yes, who knows? Just time to say, mate. — he smiles triumphantly.
— So, I suppose, I should be happy for... — I sigh, running a hand through my hair — …you.
— Of course, yes. She is a dream of mine, which came true — he comments, with mystery and I become increasingly uncomfortable with it.
— And when did they intend to tell me that the girl we are supposedly helping is my intern? Would it be difficult for you to provide more information? — I decided to take the focus off their relationship.
— Believe me, Noah. There's no need to feel betrayed, this was exactly for your protection. Otávio decided to appear at the company.
When I'm about to respond, the soft scent, her scent, invades my nostrils, making my eyes close for a brief moment, just to keep her aroma in my mind.
When I turn around, opening my eyes, I find her standing still, with a tray in her hands, but her body is inert, as if in shock.
— Nina, come here. Breathe and inspire. Slowly — Beni tries to call her, as she doesn't move and he has no way to go there, I take action.
— Give me the tray, please. — I place it on the coffee table. — Breathe, breathe in. — She does so, looking into my eyes. — That's it, continue, it's just Beni and me, there's nothing to fear, okay?
A few moments pass, however, to me, it seems like an eternity. I'm trapped in an endless blue sea where the waves don't break.
— Everything okay there? Nina, is it better?
Beni, again, takes me out of my enchantment.
I feel exactly like a sailor, trapped in the siren song.
Holy shit!
What a cheesy thought!
I shake my head with a half smile and address her again.
— Come on, let's sit down. Is it better? I ask.
— Yes, thank you. The name of that bastard still paralyzes me and I believed that my boss or my boss's superior, in this case, you, that is, you... — I interrupted her.
— Calm! There's no need to be nervous, I'm just Noah here, this idiot's best friend. — I point to the brute on the couch. — And, yes, I was at your graduation party, in fact, Thomaz and my father didn't tell us who you were exactly. I only realized it today, when I came here and saw your hair, free from the wig. — I smile. — I knew that C.R., as they call her, was working at the company, however, I was not informed in which sector. It was a discovery for me too, that you were precisely on the project's side. But I must admit that knowing you makes the task of helping easier, as well as understandable — I explain.
— Right. I thought only Beni and his parents knew. — Takes a deep breath, adjusting himself next to my friend. — But I should have imagined that they needed more people. They have been my foundation, the fact that I am evolving... Anyway, I just hope that this doesn't get in the way of my new job. Believe me, architecture is something that I love and runs through my veins. I know I can show my talent. — I hear insecurity in your voice.
— Catarina, I would never diminish your competence. From what little I've seen, you have a bright future ahead of you. And your problem, along with my past, will be resolved, as soon as you can imagine.
— Are you serious, man? — Benício, finally leave your silence aside.
— Yes, Erik found out yesterday. Well, enough of the sad things, let's go for a cold pizza and games. — Then I remember they are a fucking couple. — Of course, if you two don't mind my presence.
—No problem, right, Bear? After all, he came to see you. I'm going to leave them alone, I need to do some things and I'll wake up early tomorrow. — He gives him a tender kiss on the cheek and looks at me one last time, before disappearing into the hallway.
— Then that's it. Our old boys' night out, I want to see who wins the match this time.
— Ready to lose, Bear? — I imitate the nickname.
—Only she calls me that. Stop this nonsense — he grumbles.
And so, we started our game and the cold pizza. I take the opportunity and talk about my past with him, to take the focus off Catarina a little, at another time I can explain the details. I'm narrating and his face is filled with hate, because he only knew small parts of all this shit.
— The guy is lucky that I can't get out of here! — he says angrily.
— Calm down that white ass there and don’t do anything wrong — I say. — Now tell me what else you know about this case. — I indicate the corridor, to refer to the girl.
He looks at me, arches an eyebrow and begins to tell me about the plan they have drawn up since Thomaz's suspicions began, leaving me increasingly intrigued.
Beni talks a little about the girl, how she has a certain resistance towards men, except her father, but that over time, she changed. From what I understand, she is seeing the same psychologist who treated us for a long time, Dr. Lynn. The therapist responsible for carrying four guys' darkest secrets with her, because Gael remains an unknown.
I wonder if that scoundrel managed to go through with the touching. Beni doesn't go much further on the subject. Thus, Thomaz saved her from something worse and that was when she was able to start over. With each word spoken, I feel my protective instinct rise towards her, but I no longer see her as fragile, but rather as a warrior, a beautiful force of nature.
He did not surrender to the traumas, he tries to overcome them daily, proof of this is that he is, precisely, sharing an apartment with a man, facing his demons daily.
At the company, he wasn't too intimidated in my presence, that's something to be proud of. Not everyone has this determination and I say from experience, from everything I saw, being just a child.
I feel my stomach twist and my chest tighten when I think I might be interested in a friend's wife, my best friend.
Cum.
Cum.
I masturbated thinking about her!
No one ever knew about my dreams about the girl with the blue eyes, except Iaiá. There was no reason to tell it, I didn't even know if it was real or not, however, today, I feel as if my greatest desire was slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.
My dream is literally fading away and I can do nothing but hope for a friend's happiness.
At that moment, I realize I'm acting like an idiot in love.
Impossible.
How can I fall in love like this?
I shake my head and push the thought away.
— I'm going to tell Nina to trust you and Gael, if something happens, she'll know that she can also turn to you.
— Yes, do it. — I know I only caught the end of your speech, but I agree. — I need to go now, anything, call me. Another thing, make sure you answer your damn cell phone, we need news.
We say goodbye with a hug and I tell J. that I'm coming down.