Chapter 17
The next morning, Elizabeth did not go down for breakfast. She had spent most of the night trying to determine what had gone so wrong at dinner.
How could she and Mr. Darcy have spent a whole evening in the same house, and yet they had not exchanged more than a few words?
She was so happy when Mr. Darcy had sent a note that he was coming.
In her imagination, she had anticipated a whole evening of conversation together.
Instead, nothing had occurred at all. It had been flat and meaningless. There was no connection between her and Mr. Darcy. None at all. Her initial instincts had been right. It was a good thing she had refused to marry him. Imagine a lifetime of evenings like last night, spent in silence!
Feeling restless and unsettled, Elizabeth went downstairs to find something to occupy her.
“There you are, Lizzy,” said Mrs. Gardiner, as Elizabeth entered the parlor. “I have been waiting to talk to you. What did you think of my cunning plan?”
Elizabeth did not know how to answer.
“It was a good plan, but I wish you had shared it with my uncle. I am so frustrated. It seemed as if he was determined to do everything rather than let me speak to Mr. Darcy. Oh, Aunt, I do believe he is hoping I will marry Mr. Millett and is doing his best to keep me away from Mr. Darcy.”
Mrs. Gardiner looked surprised. “Really? Do you think so?”
“It could not have been more obvious,” said Elizabeth, in disbelief. “Surely you noticed?”
“Not really. I was making sure the children behaved themselves in Mr. Darcy’s presence. You have no idea how much of your time is spent as a mother trying to prevent chaos from taking over. I am quite exhausted with the effort.”
Elizabeth had never heard Mrs. Gardiner speak about her children that way. Generally, she had considered the Gardiner children well behaved, or, at least, as well behaved as any child could be. She could only suppose Mr. Darcy’s presence must have contributed to her exhaustion.
“I will answer your question, Aunt, but you will not like the answer. It was a cunning plan, and you did your best, but I am not entirely certain it was worth inviting Mr. Darcy.”
Mrs. Gardiner raised her eyebrows at that.
“I do not mean I wish Mr. Darcy had not come,” she said, hastily.
“It is just that I have not learned anything new, beyond knowing he does not dislike me. The problem is, I was not even given the chance to speak to him. Someone else was always claiming my attention. And Mr. Darcy barely said a word to me. I mean, if he came here to sit in silence, and be grave and indifferent, why come at all? I do not understand it.”
“He could have come to keep an eye on his sister, nothing more, nothing less,” suggested her aunt. “Come now. You cannot complain about last night’s dinner, surely. I noticed you and Mr. Millett had a great deal to say to each other.” She elbowed Elizabeth gently in the ribs.
“That is beside the point.”
“Is it?” Mrs. Gardiner sighed. “You know, you could do worse than marry Mr. Millett, Lizzy. I have known him for a long time. He is ambitious and clever. With you by his side, he will accomplish a good many things, I believe. On top of all that, he already has a small fortune left to him by his father. His future is secure.”
Elizabeth struggled to find a sense of direction. It was now painfully obvious that she and Mr. Darcy would not suit. There was no point in hoping that something would miraculously change. It was time to let go of the illusion that there could ever be anything between them.
Should she consider Mr. Millett? She liked him. They were friends, and she enjoyed his company. They laughed together. Mr. Millett had even shared some of his dreams for the future. They were able to talk.
It was as good a foundation as any. Happiness in marriage was a matter of chance, after all.
If she married Mr. Millett, she would not have to worry about the gossip. She would live in London and lead a comfortable life. Her heart argued that if she married Mr. Millett, she would never know the joys of true love. Her head ached as she tried to reconcile the two conflicting desires.
“I need to consider it,” said Elizabeth. “If you do not mind, Aunt, I think I will go upstairs to my room. My thoughts are in a muddle, and I need to untangle them.”
“Of course, Lizzy. I think that is for the best. I will tell the servants you do not wish to be disturbed unless you ring for them.”
As soon as she reached her bed chamber, Elizabeth climbed into bed and buried her head under the blanket.
A heavy feeling of despair settled over her.
It was as if something was pressing down on her, preventing her from moving.
She felt hemmed in, unable to breathe. Her mind told her she should marry Mr. Millett. Her heart rebelled.
She was vaguely aware of the sound of someone knocking, but Elizabeth could not bring herself to go to the window to see who it was.
It was only when Mrs. Gardiner knocked at her door that she was able to rouse herself.
“I am sorry, Lizzy, I know you did not wish to be disturbed, but Mr. Millett is here. He has brought you some very pretty flowers. Do you think he intends to ask you to marry him?”
A sense of panic gripped Elizabeth. “No, no! It’s too early. I have not decided yet what I want to do.”
The smile disappeared from her aunt’s face. “Are you certain you wish to send him away?”
Groaning, Elizabeth covered her face with her hands. This was all so confusing. She thought she was willing to marry him, but as the prospect became more real, she could not imagine how she could do it.
Mr. Darcy’s face flashed into her mind. She felt his arms around her as he lifted her out of the water. His kindness to Maggie. His wet curls and broad shoulders. The intensity of his dark eyes. It was certainly true that she regretted turning Mr. Darcy down.
The moment had come when she had to determine her future.
“Please find a way to make excuses, Aunt,” she said, dropping her hands. “Tell him something. Say I am unwell, that I have a headache – anything. I do not care what.” She looked at her aunt desperately. “Just for now. I need more time.”
“If that is how you feel, Lizzy, then of course I will say you are indisposed. But afterwards, you and I will have to talk. I fear you have not been completely honest with me, Lizzy.”
“Very well. But now please make haste. I do not wish to offend Mr. Millett. He is a kind man.”
With Mrs. Gardiner gone, Elizabeth found herself facing many questions. Why was she suddenly in such a panic about the prospect of marrying Mr. Millett? Just a short time ago, she had managed to resign herself to the possibility.
And why, oh why, must the handsome face of Mr. Darcy intrude on her thoughts at such an inopportune moment?
If only Mr. Darcy cared about her one little bit, then she would fly into his arms without a second thought. Sadly, nothing had changed. The evidence of her eyes was irrefutable. Both at the theater, and at dinner, Mr. Darcy had been silent.
He might not hate her, but that was a very far cry from loving her.
Since the incident with Lord Morrison, Darcy had been avoiding his club, depending on his cousin to keep him informed about the latest rumors concerning him and Miss Bennet.
He was hoping against hope that the betting and the gossip would die a natural death.
Or, alternatively, another scandal would appear that would turn everyone’s attention elsewhere.
He did not want to wish it upon any unfortunate victim, but there were young ladies in Society who did behave scandalously, and he did not see why Miss Bennet, who had done nothing to deserve it, continued to be the center of unwanted attention.
Darcy was desperate for something to happen to keep the gossip at bay.
When Colonel Fitzwilliam called on him the day after the dinner at the Gardiners, however, he did not have anything new to offer.
“Do you think it will be safe to go to the club?” enquired Darcy. “I must admit, spending my free evenings at home is starting to lose its appeal. I am ready to go back the moment you give me the signal.”
“I would not encourage it. The rumor mill is still buzzing, and I am sorry to say that bets are still being laid on Miss Bennet.”
Darcy made an impatient gesture. “Have these young men nothing better to do with their lives than tarnishing a young lady’s reputation?”
“Well, it is only to be expected that they run wild, with more money at their disposal than sense. They have always done so. They will bet on anything, not just on young ladies. I have seen them bet on how long a fly will sit on a table. It is just that you never noticed their excesses because it never concerned you.”
It was true. It had never mattered to him, as long as no one in his circle was hurt. Until now.
“So what are the latest bets, then?”
“They are betting on how quickly she will be married, and what kind of husband she will find.” His cousin hesitated.
“I did not want to raise the issue before, but now that you have asked, I have no choice. You need to know that, since the altercation with Lord Morrison, there have been several bets placed on you in the book.”
“Me?” Darcy’s forehead puckered. “Why on earth would they do that?”
The colonel cleared his throat. “It seems the strong reaction Lord Morrison’s words provoked in you has given rise to speculation about your feelings towards her.”
Darcy jumped to his feet. “Can a gentleman not defend a young lady without giving rise to speculation?”
Grinding his teeth, he stalked to the window, running his fingers through his hair in extreme agitation. “Are you trying to tell me that, by intervening on Miss Bennet’s behalf, I only made matters worse?”
“I wouldn’t have put it that way, but yes, it does seem to have caused unintended consequences. I did warn you at the time not to make a scene, if you recall.”