Chapter 21
twenty-one
I sat on the brown leather couch at the studio. The last day was finally here, mixing almost complete. I sighed and raked my hand through my bangs, flipping them to the side. The last few days had been a whirlwind, busier than ever, working with Wayne, the producer, and listening to and perfecting songs over and over. It worked out since Micah was working late, too.
Micah asked me to move in with him . I grinned. I’d have to come out to my parents first. How would they actually take it? My gaze caught on Wells. He would know how to handle it.
Wells stepped out of the control room and strolled to me, plunking down on the couch beside me. “What’s up?”
I released a rushed exhale. “Not much.” How would he react to the news? I wouldn’t be back in Minneapolis with him to rest and hang out between sets of tour dates.
He dropped his hand over mine, between us, on the couch. “Yes much. Something’s up with you. I can feel it.” He tightened his hold on my hand. “Everything all right with Micah?”
Nodding once, I said, “Yeah, just don’t get to spend a lot of time with him since he went back to work.” At some point, our schedules had to get better. “At least he only has to see his therapist once a week now.”
“Oh.” He glanced at the far wall, then focused on me. “So, is that why you’ve been sulking around here the last few weeks?” A snicker erupted from him.
I glared at him. “Stop it. I have not.” I sank into the couch. Maybe it was best to come out with it. “Actually, Micah asked me to move in with him, and I’m not sure how to have the conversation with my parents about our relationship.”
He blinked and lifted his brows, the smile fading from his face. “So, you’re moving in with Micah? Like permanently?”
Why did he need clarification? “Yeah.” My attention drew to him. “Why is that weird?”
“No. It seems fast, but it’s not like we have time to wait things out with how our lives are.” He pursed his lips and squeezed my hand. “I’m going to miss you.”
“You’ll still see me. We’ll be out on the road soon, anyway.” What was going on in his head? My gaze searched his face, and I attempted to smile at him.
“Things won’t be the same.” He released a long exhale and looked up at the ceiling. “I guess I’d hoped this thing with Micah might have run its course by the time we got back on the road, then you and I...”
With a knot forming in my gut, I lifted and sidled into him, resting one leg over his thighs. How would it be this time around, once we were on tour and I wasn’t with Micah at all? An ache filled my heart. I would miss the shit out of Micah, but I wouldn’t betray him. That much I knew. “Hey, we still have each other. We just can’t fuck each other anymore.”
A sad laugh escaped him. “That’s what I miss.” He breathed in. “You were a great fuck, Ash.” A faint smirk curled his lips. “Really great.”
Now turned sideways, I laid my head on the back of the couch. “So were you. Damn.” I bit my upper lip, my mind filling with all the times I’d had with him.
Justin strode out of the control room and stopped in front of us. “You know the mics are all hot out here and we can hear this entire conversation in there, right?” He pointed at the control room.
Wells and I straightened with wide eyes. Dilan and the producer smiled and waved at us from behind the glass.
“Shit.” I chuckled. How high did they have the volume set on the mics? “They should have been off by now.”
“Well, they’re not. God, if you two are so horny for each other, go back to the house or something.” Justin scoffed and strode back into the control room, shaking his head.
My gaze caught on Wells, and we both belly laughed. As the laughing slowed, I rose from the couch, tugging on his hand. “Come on, I need to talk to you.”
He rose and followed me out a back door and into a parking area behind the building.
The late afternoon sun hit my eyes, and I squinted. Stopping, I leaned my back against the wall. “So, what am I going to do about my parents? I’ve never said anything to them about us or about liking any guys.”
He peeked at the ground, then focused on me. “You’re going to surprise the fuck out of them, that’s what.” He chuckled.
“That’s not helpful. What am I supposed to say?” I toyed with the hoop earring in my right ear. How would this go down?
After a long sigh, he said, “You’ll just have to be up front with them. I’d talk to them both at the same time.” He took a few steps, then turned around. “Set up a time and tell them you want to talk, then just tell them. It’s going to be a shock no matter what, I think. So, maybe just get it over with.”
Clenching my teeth, I pulled my phone out of my jeans and opened the screen.
Ash
Are you and Dad available for a Facetime call in two hours?
The phone chimed.
Mom
Sure.
“Well, that’s it then. I’m going to tell them in two hours.” I gazed at Wells, who was now looking down the parking lot toward a tall chain-link fence. “Help me.”
He turned to me. “Help you how?”
“I want you there when I make the call. I might need backup.” My chest tensed. There was no way I could do this alone. He would definitely help.
“I’ll be there.” He spread his arms out. “Where else am I going to go?”
* * *
Almost two hours later, I pulled into the short driveway of the house the band had rented in Daly City, with Wells sitting beside me in the passenger seat of my Jeep. I gazed at the place, a two-story, cream stucco home with a shingle roof, all squared off in that California craftsman style. The house sat wedged between the houses on either side, with the garage on the first floor and the living space above and to the right. Climbing out of the Jeep, I waited for him to follow.
Stepping to the door, he unlocked a white metal storm door, then the door behind it and pushed it open. Swinging his arm out with a flourish, he said, “Welcome to the rehearsal room.”
I stepped inside and took in what should have been a living room but was completely empty, except for a few coiled cables scattered on the dark wood floor and some amps lined up against beige walls with white trim. “Nice big space.”
“Yeah, everyone seems to like it here. It was a good idea to just stay here after recording finished and rehearse, especially since Dilan and Justin want to move to LA before the next tour.” He strolled through the room and into the kitchen, with its modern white cabinets and stainless-steel appliances.
I followed him and leaned against the light granite-tile counter. “What are you going to do?”
“Not sure. Guess I’ll have to move to Cali at some point. Especially now that you won’t be in Minnesota.” He let out a quick exhale. “The question is, do I move here or down to LA?”
A sharp and uncomfortable pang hit my chest. I grabbed his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “You know I’d like you here.”
“Yeah, but would Micah?” He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the opposite counter.
As I stared at the floor, my thoughts spiraled. I couldn’t imagine life without Wells nearby. I wound my gaze to his. “You’re my best friend. Micah knows that, and he’s okay with our past.” Taking a step toward him, I said, “Besides, Micah has his own friends here. I want mine, too.”
A faint smile tugged at his lips. “I do like the weather here. I mean, Minnesota in the winter? Fuck that.”
“Right?” I chuckled, then caught a glance at the clock on the stovetop. My stomach clenched. “Shit, it’s time to call my parents.” Sweat slicked my palms as my stomach tied in knots.
“Let’s sit at the table.” He gestured toward a dark wood dining table tucked into the corner under a set of windows that overlooked hills packed with houses. Off in the distance, a fog bank crept in.
“Okay.” I slid my phone out of my pocket and sat at the table, setting the phone down and propping it against a ceramic napkin holder. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them.
He stood beside me. “Where do you want me to sit?”
I patted the chair next to me. “Sit here. I’ll focus the phone on me and bring you into it if I need you.” My nerves rattled so hard I could barely keep my hands steady. With fumbling fingers, I tapped the buttons to start a FaceTime call with my parents. I adjusted the phone so only I was in the frame, then set it down. As the phone rang, Wells settled into the chair beside me.
The phone picked up, and Mom came into view, her long, curly blonde hair hanging down around her face. “Hi, honey.”
“Hi, Mom.”
Dad came into view next, sitting by her on their brown leather couch. “Hi, Ash,” he said, his short, salty brown hair framing his face, and reading glasses perched on his nose.
“Hi, Dad.” They were in the family room. Good.
“So, what’s so important that you wanted to FaceTime both of us? Are you okay? You’re not sick, are you?” Mom raised her brows.
“No, no, I’m fine. I-I have something to tell you.” I glanced at Wells for support.
“Okay, shoot.” Dad wrapped his fingers together in front of the camera.
“I needed to tell you I’m going to be moving out here, you know, to live.” I held my breath.
Mom shifted and looked away from the camera. “Why? It’s not like you’re home enough right now to need your own place.”
Dad furrowed his brows over the reading glasses.
Glancing again at Wells, I rolled my lips.
Wells waved his hand at me, giving me the go-ahead.
“Mom, Dad, I met someone. I’m going to be moving in with them out here.” I drew a deep inhale, attempting to beat back the tightness in my chest.
Mom smiled. “It’s about time, Ashton. When do we get to meet her?”
Dad smiled.
I clenched my teeth. “It’s not a her , Mom. It’s a him .”
Wells took my hand under the table.
Lowering his brows, Dad adjusted the phone, which was obviously being held by Mom. “Sorry, but I don’t understand. What did you say?”
“I’m in a gay relationship, Dad. I have a boyfriend. His name is Micah.” I shut my eyes tightly, then opened them.
Mom grabbed the phone and set it on her face only. “Ashton, what happened to you? Is it because you’re in San Francisco with all those gay people?”
“What?” She’s lost her mind . A nervous laugh sprang from my throat. “It’s not from being in San Francisco. I’ve always liked men,” I said. “Well, and women.”
Wells covered a smirk with one hand and continued to hold my hand with the other.
The phone appeared to have a hand held over the camera while muffled voices argued in the background.
I rubbed over my chest with the heel of my hand and looked at Wells. “This isn’t good.” What else could they come at me with?
“It’ll be okay. What are they going to do? You’re a grown-ass man.” He smiled at me and clung to my hand.
Mom put the phone back out, so they both came into view. Dad furrowed his brows and clenched his jaw. “Son, I think maybe this lifestyle you’ve been living has probably confused you and?—”
“No, it hasn’t.” My voice came out sharper than I expected. “I’m in love with a guy. His name is Micah Knowles. He’s a software engineer at Tesla. He’s really smart and kind and gorgeous, and he takes care of me.” I grabbed the phone in my free hand and brought it closer to my face. “He loves me, and we’re moving in together. I’ve already met his family, and they’re fine with it. They’re a wonderful family. In fact, his father’s a cardiologist at Stanford.”
Their expressions didn’t change. They weren’t buying any of this. My gaze flicked to Wells for a moment, then back to the screen. “You don’t believe me? Talk to Wells. He’s right here. He can tell you I’ve been this way my whole life. Wells and I even had a thing since high school and?—”
“Bro!” Wells snatched the phone out of my hand, then waved at the screen. “Hi, uh, Nancy and Jake.” He glared at me. “Micah is a really great guy, and he loves Ash. I think you’ll see when you meet him and see them together that it’s for real.”
He looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
I hung my head, wringing my hands in my lap. “Tell them I’m coming out.”
“H-he’s coming out at our next gig.” Wells’ voice wavered for a second. “Jeff is setting up an interview, and he’s going to let the fans know. So, I guess you should know, too.” He handed the phone back to me.
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to focus. “So?”
Mom and Dad glanced at each other, their mouths hanging open.
“You said his name is Micah, and he’s a software engineer at Tesla?” Dad swallowed hard. “And his father is a cardiologist?”
“Yes.” I pressed my lips into a thin line, glaring at both of them.
“Okay, then I guess we should meet him.” A faint smile spread across Dad’s lips.
“Oh, honey, it’s okay.” Mom smiled warmly. “We were just shocked. You know? We had no idea.” She paused. “Do you want to set up a FaceTime with him this week sometime?”
I relaxed my shoulders and nodded. “Yes. Let me see when we’re both available, and I’ll let you know.” I breathed out a sigh. “I should go now.”
“Okay, bye, son,” Dad said.
“Bye, honey.” Mom waved at the phone. “I hope you know we love you, no matter what.”
“Yeah, I do. Bye.” I hung up the phone and shifted in the chair, dropping the phone on the table. Thank God that was over.
“Holy shit, man. Why did you have to say anything about us?” Wells pressed his palm to his forehead. “What if your mom tells my mom?”
I glared at him, cocking my head. “Your mom is a hippie. You really think she cares? She’d probably think it was the best thing she’s ever heard.”
With a chuckle and a smirk, he said, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
I turned my gaze out the window, watching the fading sunlight. I needed Micah right about now. God, how I missed him. “I should go. Micah will be home soon.”
“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow for our first rehearsal.” He slapped my thigh.
“Yep.” I pushed up from the table and headed toward the front door, his footsteps clomping behind me. Just before I reached it, I stopped and turned around. “Wells?”
“What?”
Throwing my arms around his shoulders, I pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you. And please don’t move to LA.”
“I won’t,” he whispered.
* * *
I drove the Jeep into my parking spot at the apartments and glanced at Micah’s empty stall. My chest stiffened. Why wasn’t Micah home yet? I’d been looking forward to seeing him, maybe going out for dinner or just hanging out. With a sigh, I climbed out of the Jeep, my head hanging as I trudged toward the apartment door. My gaze stayed fixed on the path under my feet, the fog swirling in the fading light around me.
As I reached the door, I fished my key out of my pocket and opened it. A memory of Micah wrapping his arms around me from behind flickered in my mind, warm and bittersweet. God, I missed those days.
I pushed the door open, stepped inside, and let it close behind me. Maybe he’d texted me. Standing in the entryway, I slipped my phone from my pocket and scanned the notifications.
Micah
Sorry, I’ll be late again tonight.
The loneliness hit me hard, wrapping itself around me like a fog thicker than the one outside. I flicked on the lights, ambled to the couch, and dropped into it, still holding my phone. Maybe I should have stayed with Wells in Daly City a little longer.
I looked around the apartment, but it only made things worse. Micah was everywhere, in every corner, every memory. I leaned forward, grabbed the remote, and turned on the TV. Maybe I could distract myself. Laying down sideways on the couch, I rested my head on one of the fuzzy white pillows Micah had picked out. My phone stayed in my hand, just in case he texted again.
The tour was only a month away, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. If I felt this lonely with Micah only thirty miles away, how bad was it going to be when I was thousands of miles away?
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the thoughts to go away. When that didn’t work, I opened my phone again, flipping through my photos until I found one of him. I couldn’t stop myself from scrolling, Micah on the beach with wet hair after surfing, Micah at the taproom with a beer in his hand, Micah sitting on this very couch, watching me with the smile that always made my heart skip.
“Fuck,” I said. Looking at pictures wasn’t helping.
I rolled onto my side, set the phone down, and stared blankly at the TV. But the ache in my chest wasn’t going anywhere. I closed my eyes, imagining him lying behind me, his arm draped over me, the warmth of him so real I could almost feel it.
“Damn it, I miss you,” I whispered into the quiet and buried my face into the pillow, sighing as the empty space engulfed me.
* * *
The soft click of the door jarred me awake. My eyes snapped open, and I lifted my head, my gaze catching on Micah strolling in with his typical black button-down shirt and jeans, and as he sat on the couch beside me, his warm hand rested on my side. He leaned in and kissed my cheek.
“I’m sorry I’m so late. We found a bug in the software, and it’s a big one, affecting the breaking speed of the car. The algorithm for the sensors is all messed up. If we don’t figure it out, we can’t hit our next sprint goal.”
I blinked, trying to process his words. What the hell was he talking about? It felt like our two worlds were light years apart. I smiled weakly and reached for him. “But you’re here now.” I stretched my arm around him, hugging him from the side, the weight of his presence against me.
He paused, his brow furrowing. “You okay?”
With a lump forming in my throat, I swallowed it down, my chest tightening. “I miss you.” My voice cracked, and I gritted my teeth.
“Ash?” His voice softened as he pressed his forehead to mine. “You don’t sound okay.” He straightened up, his gaze intense. “Here, sit up and talk to me.”
I pulled myself up to sit beside him, my hands falling into my lap. My long hair hung down, hiding my face. “I told my parents about us today.”
“What?” his eyes widened. “Shit, how’d it go?” He took my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss on the back of it.
I squeezed his hand. “They were shocked. They had no idea I liked guys.” My heart clenched as I took in Micah’s face, his gorgeous features, the dark hair, those deep brown eyes that I could lose myself in. I could look at him forever and never tire of it.
“Are they okay with it?” he asked, his brows creasing.
“Yeah. They didn’t believe me at first, but Wells talked to them and smoothed everything over.” I leaned my head against his shoulder, finally letting out a breath. “They want to meet you.” The tenseness in my body unwound. Once they met him, everything would fall into place.
“So, Wells helped you.” He wrinkled his nose. “I should have been there. You should have waited until I came home.”
“It would’ve been too late to call them. They’re on central time,” I said, snuggling closer to him, breathing in his familiar scent.
“If you’d have told me you were going to do that, I would have come home earlier,” he said. “I would have figured it out.”
I straightened, raising my head to meet his gaze. Was he upset? “But you just said you had a bug to fix.”
Releasing my hand, he wrapped his arm around me instead. “Yeah, but I want to be the one that’s there for you. Not Wells.” He glowered.
I frowned. Maybe Micah was still struggling with Wells. “I suppose I could have waited until you could come home earlier, or maybe this weekend,” I sighed. “It just feels like we never have time anymore, and I wanted to get it over with.” I glanced at him. How he was going to take it? At some point, I’d have to tell him about Wells moving out here too, but not tonight.
He stared at the coffee table, his expression unreadable. “I know.”
“We’re done in the studio and I’m going to rehearse, so my schedule will be more flexible. I’ll have more time.” I rested my hand on his thigh.
“Once we reach this sprint goal, I should have more time, too.” He tightened his hold on my shoulders. “Have you eaten?”
“No.” I moved a lock of dark hair from his eyes. “Delivery pizza?”
“Sure. I’d rather spend our time together here, alone.” He leaned in and placed a long kiss on my mouth, opening my lips and exploring with his tongue.
I savored the taste of him, the feel of having him so close. The kiss ended, leaving my lips tingling for more. “How about we order the pizza after...” I slipped my hand to his jeans, unfastened them, and snuck it inside to stroke his swelling cock.
“Yeah...” He rocked his hips in time with my stroking fingers, then he pulled me close and placed kiss after kiss over my mouth, each one rising in intensity.
My hard cock ached in my shorts. “Micah, touch me.” I rubbed his dick harder, faster.
While continuing the kisses over my mouth, he unfastened my shorts, skimmed his hand inside, and pumped my shaft.
I released a low groan, sensation rippling from my cock. As his kisses became more needy, I licked down his neck and nibbled at his earlobe.
As a long moan escaped his lips, he tilted his head back. “I need to be inside you.”
“That works.” The damn pizza could definitely wait. I stopped my motions and gave him a sly grin, then stood from the couch, grabbed his hand and guided him into the bedroom.
I released his hand to bring the covers down on my bed. When I turned around, he stood naked before me, his hard cock curving upward almost to his navel.
My cock jerked with expectation. “Damn, you look good.” I could eat him for dinner instead. Fuck the pizza. I quirked one side of my mouth.
“Hurry.” He poked at me. “Why are you still dressed?”
I chuckled. “Give me a moment.” I shimmied my shirt off and threw it at the floor.
He shoved me to the bed and scrambled on top of me, grinding his hard cock against my hip, placing urgent kisses over my lips, then down my neck, across my chest and licking over my stiff shaft. He yanked my shorts down my legs and devoured my dick with his mouth, sucking and swirling the head with his tongue.
As pleasure jolted through my body, I gasped, arching my back. My peak built with his lapping mouth. I fisted the blue comforter underneath me.
He fondled my sac, then with saliva covering his fingers, he slipped one inside my entrance and removed his mouth from my leaking cock.
“Oh, my God.” My peak teased me, almost at the edge. Breathless, I said, “Fuck me, Micah.”
“Not yet.” He slid another finger inside me and pumped, teasing my balls with the other hand. As he glanced at me, a lustful grin rested on his porcelain face. He then came over me, bringing his mouth to my lips, kissing with a frenzied hunger, continuing to stroke my hole with his fingers.
I fought to keep up with his intense kisses. As he rubbed the internal bundle of nerves over and over again, my body shuddered. Urgent tingling built inside me. Lost in it, I released quick moans. “Damn, are you trying to make me come?”
“I could.” He dropped to my chest and sucked on my nipple, then gave it a soft bite.
“Fuck.” Pleasure rocketed from my nipple to my cock, thrusting my hips and digging my fingers into his back. “Do it already or fuck me.”
“I think I prefer to fuck you first.” He sat up on tucked legs, stretched over me, and pulled out a condom and lube from the nightstand.
I watched with need humming through my body as he rolled the condom over his hard dick, then slicked it with lube.
As he slathered the lube over his cock, he shut his eyes and parted his lips with a hiss.
My dick twitched. “You need to let me do that next time.”
He came down over me, fixating on me, his eyes filled with lust. “We need to get tested, so we don’t have to use these damn things.”
I widened my eyes. Even if we saw little of each other, he wasn’t going anywhere. He would still be mine.
As he claimed my mouth once again in persistent kisses, he positioned himself between my legs and entered.
As slow pressure and friction filled me, I held him close, savoring the feeling of my skin against his.
He pulled out and pushed in, over and over, reducing the intensity of his kisses. Then he raised on his elbows to gaze into my eyes, his fingers toying with a lock of my blond hair. “I love you, Ash. Tell me when you need me, and I’ll be there.”
The emotion in his eyes swelled my heart. “I will. I love you, too. So much.” I moved my hand to the back of his head and brought him close, giving him a fierce kiss.
He quickened his thrusts and his breathing became erratic. Slipping his hand between us, he pumped my cock.
A surge of pleasure overtook me, and I spilled, each wave of sensation engulfing me, my hot cum spurting over his fingers and my stomach, gasping with each surge.
He rested his face against my cheek, drove in, stopped, then pulled out and thrust hard, whimpering, shuddering, clutching my hair. As he calmed, he brought the hand at my cock to his face and sucked on his fingers, slipping out of me, and rolling to the side.
I stared at him, lapping my cum from his fingers. I licked my lips, my cock jerking. “You are so fucking hot.”
As he finished, he gazed at me with hooded eyelids. “Yeah? So are you.” He sighed. “We might have to do that again tonight.”
Hunger pangs rippled through my stomach. “Yes. Maybe even twice more. But only after we eat some pizza.” I pulled him to my chest.
He laid his head on my shoulder and caressed me from my hip to my collarbone with light fingers. “I’m assuming that me meeting your parents would be over FaceTime?”
I kissed him on the forehead. “Yeah.”
“Let me know when and I’ll make it happen.”