Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
SIMON
T he guys and I arrived at the after-party and the place was jumping. Situated right on a private beach, the hotel had a large restaurant that had been turned into a swanky nightclub for the occasion.
Tons of people filled the space, more than I’d been expecting would be here, and red, purple, blue, and green lights washed over them from strobe lights mounted above the action.
Heavy bass took control of my pulse as we walked in, the music loud and the drinks already flowing. The text message we’d received had said there would be an open bar as well as food, and in addition to the bartenders mixing it up behind marble counters, servers carried huge trays of bite-sized appetizers through the crowd.
It was a definite vibe, and twelve hours ago, I would have thrown myself into it with no holds barred. Now, nothing was the same as it had been this morning, though.
I’d fallen through a wormhole in the universe or something and I found myself back in habits I’d abandoned nearly a decade ago. Josh and I branched off to get drinks while the others went to check out the scene. Automatically, my head was on a swivel, looking for Abigail.
Part of me desperately wanted to forget that I’d even seen her. I wanted to forget that there was even a remote possibility that she was here, but despite the time that had passed since we’d been together, I still felt inexplicably drawn to her.
I’d never, ever admit it to anyone, but it had taken all of me to stay away from her for as long as I had. Abigail Walker had been—and in some ways, still was—such a massive part of me that I’d had to fight the almost all-consuming instinct to go to her every day for years.
That part of me, the part that had felt her absence every hour that we were apart in some inconceivable way, needed to know where she was. Now that I’d seen her again, I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to numbing that Simon. Her Simon.
Constantly scanning the crowd, I went to grab some beers with Josh and ignored all the looks I got from women. We were carrying the drinks back to Benny and David when a girl stepped right into Josh’s path.
Without skipping a beat, he smirked at her, leaning in to speak—or shout, probably—right into her ear. Her hand fell to his chest and she laughed at whatever he’d said. Meanwhile, her friend batted long, fake eyelashes at me and reached for my arm.
“No.” I said it loudly, but I had no idea if she’d heard or had simply read my lips, but a surprised, crestfallen expression crossed her features before she pulled her friend away in an obvious huff. I rolled my eyes when Josh sent me a puzzled look as they stormed away.
He sighed but didn’t say anything. We continued making our way through the crowd until we found our friends. Benny frowned at me when I handed over his beer, bending his head closer to mine and speaking loud enough that I could hear him.
“What happened back there? Those girls were hot.”
I shrugged. “I wasn’t feeling it.”
Looking at me like he knew exactly why I’d done it, he shook his head and sipped his beer. We made our way around the party with our drinks in hand, my friends stopping to speak to girls, but I gave everyone who looked my way the same treatment as I had that first girl.
Another woman, one who obviously didn’t balk easily, smiled at me when I took a step away from her. Acting fast, she shot up to her toes to speak to me. “Whoever she is, I can help you forget about her.”
“Why?” I retorted. “Go hit on someone who wants you instead of someone who wants to use you to forget about somebody else.”
I squinted at her when she gave me a confused look. If the gorgeous blonde needed an asshole like me to tell her she was worth more than that, then she needed to have this conversation with a professional in a much quieter setting.
Sadly, yesterday, I’d probably have taken her up on the offer without worrying about using her, because clearly, she’d already have known the deal. I would’ve been guilt-free, but now?
Fuck. I haven’t even spoken to Abi and I’m a damn mess. What is wrong with me?
The blonde finally shrugged and bounced away, turning her flirty smile on the next very-much-suspecting victim and I kept scanning the crowd for Abigail. After the guys moved away from the blonde’s friends, I got hit on a few more times, but I couldn’t care less.
My boys seemed to bask in the attention and I was happy for them. None of them had been fucked up by their high school sweetheart. Frankly, I deserved so much more than just the torture of looking for her and not knowing if she was even coming.
Eventually, Josh could obviously tell I was having a hard time. He glanced at me while he was talking to a gorgeous redhead and sighed. Then he turned to the others and yelled, “Let’s just go hit the dance floor. Blow off some steam!”
One by one, the boys nodded and I followed, not wanting them to know the only reason I was doing it was to look for Abi out there. The DJ Ashley and Blake had hired was a great one, a world-renowned dude who was known for some pretty awesome remixes, and as we joined the swaying, gyrating bodies on the dance floor, I did my best to just relax and have a good time.
I drank my beer and watched my boys pair off with some girl or another for a song or two. I brushed hands off me when anyone tried to pull me closer, but I was also desperately trying to get back to being the guy who knew how to have actual fun.
The guys never danced with the same girl more than once or twice, inevitably ending back up with me like they were taking turns babysitting me or some shit. Just as I was about to tell Benny to knock it off, I took a step toward him and ended up bumping into someone half behind and half beside me.
I spun around to apologize, knowing I’d probably shouldered the person pretty hard with the force I’d been using trying to get to Benny. Shock radiated through me when I turned to find myself looking into the ocean-blue eyes of the girl I’d loved and pushed away.
The colored lights flickering above danced across her eyes, the blue making them look the same color I imagined I would see if I went scuba diving in the Ionic Sea. The purple flashes made her look ethereal, like some kind of mystical, mythical creature, whereas the green just made her look pissed off.
On the other hand, she had now looked up and had realized the person who had bumped into her was me. Yeah, it’s probably that pissing her off more than just the green lights.
“Well, looks like you’re still stepping all over people,” she yelled over the throbbing beat of the music.
As she was starting to move away, I reached for her, knowing I probably shouldn’t but not giving a damn. My fingers gently encircled her wrist and I took a step closer, hoping to all that was holy that she’d give me the time of day.
“I’m sorry, Abi!” I called loudly enough that she had to be able to hear me. I didn’t dare lean any closer to her beautiful face than I already was, though. Her sweet scent was already making me feel dizzy. “I’m sorry I bumped into you. I was trying to get to Benny and I didn’t see you there.”
She yanked her arm out of my grip and shot me a forced, sarcastic smile as she gave me a thumbs-up. When she went to walk away again, I moved with her. “Look, I am sorry about bumping into you, but I was honestly hoping I’d see you tonight.”
Those delicate features scrunched up before she scoffed visibly and shook her head. “The feeling isn’t mutual, Simon!”
With the music being so loud, it was practically impossible to have a conversation and what I needed to say to her couldn’t be yelled over a remix of some popular songs from the nineties. I finally leaned in just a little bit closer.
“Can we go outside and talk?” I asked, willing to beg if that was what it came down to.
All those colorful lights danced across her features again as she pulled away just enough to let me see the absolute incredulity in her eyes. “I have literally nothing to say to you. I’m leaving now.”
“Please, Abi!” I looked right at her, knowing that she didn’t owe me anything and hoping anyway that she’d give me a chance. “It’ll only take a minute, and if you never want to talk to me again after, I’ll leave you alone. I swear.”
“At least we already know how good you are at doing that!” She stared back at me, though.
Instead of just turning and walking away, she looked at me like she was trying to figure out who the hell I was. If there was any part of me at all that she recognized. I prayed she’d find something even if I couldn’t remember the last time I’d honestly prayed for anything.
Finally, I saw the moment that she decided to do it. I didn’t like that it came in the form of resignation, but she was willing to give me a minute. That was more than I’d had any right to ask for and I knew it.
Pulling her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans, she seemed to be firing off a quick text and then she looked back up at me. As soon as our gazes connected, I felt like someone had attached jumper cables directly to my heart.
Her light brown hair framed her gorgeous face, shorter than she used to wear it in high school. It also had sexy, edgy, choppy layers to it now and bangs that hung slightly to one side. She’d had it all up earlier, so I hadn’t been able to see those details, but I sure could see them now and I was looking harder than I ever had.
Those lips were every bit as shiny and plump as I remembered. Her button of a nose was turned up just a little bit, but I’d take it. I’d take any of it. All of it.
Abigail had grown up, sure, but in that moment, I could see that my Abi was still in there somewhere. I just had to hope that I could somehow still reach her.