22. Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
Then
A fter clumsily zigzagging our way through the labyrinth that is this house and drunken people, we find our way to a bedroom on the second floor.
“This is basically my room. I mean, it’s one of the guest bedrooms, but I’ve stayed here five out of seven nights a week since my dad left. So, it’s totally okay that we’re in here. I mean, it’s okay with Landon. And with me. Totally okay with us, I mean, if it’s okay with you?” Noah says this all too fast, and it seems like his words are coming out faster than he has time to register what it is he’s saying.
“Noah, are you flustered?” I crack a smile.
He’s usually so put-together, seeing this side of him is new to me.
“Definitely not flustered. I just want you to know that we’re not breaking any rules, since you know, you’re such a ‘good girl.’” He says those last two words slow, then swallows hard.
He locks the door behind him, and I move closer. We stand here, almost chest to chest, breath racing.
I look up at him, my eyes heavy with anticipation. The corner of my mouth lifts, and I slowly say, “I am.”
He grabs my hands and pulls them up around his neck, then bends down to kiss me. This time, our kiss is messy and hungry. Our teeth scrape and our breaths join together. He grabs the back of my thighs and pulls me off the ground, my legs wrapping around him. We continue kissing as he moves us onto the bed.
He lays me down and moves his large body on top of mine. We’re both uncoordinated as I try to scooch my head to the top of the bed.
He pushes up to his knees and takes off his shirt in that way I’ve only seen boys do in movies. In one swift motion, he grabs it from the bottom and lifts it over his head. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
My heart is beating right out of my chest as I stare at his amazing body. His tan skin contouring every inch of his lean muscles.
I’m very aware of the fact that this is the first time I’ve ever been in this situation. I’ve made out with boys in the past, but it’s always ended there.
This is one of those moments in my life I know there will be a distinct “before” and “after.” I have the sense that after tonight, I will never be the same.
He catches me staring and smirks. “Like what you see, Robins?”
I turn my head to the side, blushing. “I don’t want to give you the satisfaction of saying yes, so I’ll just stay quiet.”
This earns me a soft chuckle as he bends his body back over mine. He brings his finger under my chin and softly nudges my face upward so that I’m looking at him. “Jane, I don’t want you to ever stay quiet.”
Lifting my chin, he brings his lips back down to mine. This time, I open my mouth to take him in. His breath hitches as his tongue gently teases against mine. He tastes sweet, and I lose myself in him. In this moment.
His hand finds my hip and he leans deeper into me. My core tightens as I feel his hard length press against my body.
Minutes pass, when I break away and push up into a seated position. I take off the baggy sweatshirt he lent me and as I start to take off my shirt, I’m rudely reminded of that stupid wide belt Jordyn had me put on. My shaky hands fumble with the buckle before I’m able to take it off.
I reach for the bottom of my shirt, hoping I can make taking it off look half as sexy as he did when he was taking his off. As I start to lift, I feel his hands on mine. His eyes bore into me, and he gently lifts the shirt over my head and tosses it onto the floor.
I slowly lay back down and stare up at him. Both shirtless, the tension between us grows. His eyes dip from mine and onto the zebra-print bra that I’m wearing, and I notice his pulse quicken in the soft spot on his neck.
He reaches toward my body and softly rests his hand on my ribs. His thumb brushes lazily over my small birthmark there. Bending down, he places a delicate kiss right on it. He slowly kisses a trail down my stomach, and then all the way back up to my mouth. We move in unison as we kiss until our mouths are pink and swollen.
We pull apart and each catch our racing breaths. He continues looking me up and down, eyes dark and lustful. I know what’s supposed to come next, but I’m not sure if I’m ready. This is all so intense, and the whirlwind of the entire night is catching up to me. He continues looking at me, both eyes searching for answers.
“Noah… I…I don’t…” I start to say, but he brings his mouth down to mine and gently kisses me.
He pulls away softly and says, “Shh, no need to say anything. I get it.” He smiles down at me and brushes a piece of hair away from my face. He kisses me again, then pushes up off my body. He smiles at me, then takes a deep breath as he stands up.
“Hey, I’m thirsty. I’m going to get us some water, okay? I’ll be right back.” He grabs his shirt and quickly puts it back on, then comes back over to me. He plants another hurried kiss onto my lips. “I promise, I’ll be right back. Please don’t cover up, I like seeing this much of you.” He winks, then turns to walk out the door.
I lay in the bed and stare up at the ceiling, a big, stupid grin on my face. I cannot believe where this night has gone. I share a birthday with Noah Riley. I just made out with Noah Riley. Noah Riley .
I don’t understand it—how my brain has gone from totally hating that name, to liking the way it feels in my mouth when I say it. Noah Riley . The boy who’s constantly making little digs at me, the boy who’s stubborn and argumentative, the boy who decided to let me in and see parts of himself that are complicated and messy. The boy who let me open up and share things about myself. He didn’t judge me. He just listened. He cared. No one has ever done that for me before.
My mind won’t slow down. I keep replaying the last few hours in my mind. The terrible singing of the partygoers, the high fives and friendly faces of all Noah’s friends.
Then, the intimate talk on the balcony takes the forefront of my mind. Noah trusted me with his hurt, and then I trusted him with mine. We both let our guard down tonight and that opened up something new between us.
Shaky breaths, trembling hands. My heart picks up pace as I remember the feeling of his strong body on mine, his full soft lips gently kissing the birthmark on my ribs.
Where will we go from here? I look back up at the ceiling and let out a small chuckle, bewildered. I think, and I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but I think I like him. Like, really like him.
Just a few hours ago, I would have emphatically stated that I hated this boy, but now look at me. I don’t understand any of this, and for some reason, that thrills me.
Hearing some movement on the other side of the door, I prop myself onto my elbows. I arrange my hair around my shoulders and wipe under my eyes, hoping my mascara isn’t smeared. I glance over to the door, but no one enters. A minute or so passes by when I start to feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. He’s been gone for quite a bit. My palms begin to sweat.
He was just getting a drink; it shouldn’t take this long to get a drink.
I bite the inside of my cheek, and my nose starts to tingle. Did he leave because I didn’t put out? Would he really do that to me?
I self-consciously cover myself and push off the bed to find my discarded shirt. Putting it on, I don’t even bother to look for the stupid belt. I glance in the mirror above the dresser and try to force a smile. He probably just got stopped by one of his friends. Everything is okay. Stop overthinking things .
I rush down the stairs to the beat of the blaring music. My head is swimming as I make my way through the overly crowded house, trying to retrace our steps from earlier.
I look from room to room for Noah’s tall broad shoulders and shaggy dark hair, but I don’t see him anywhere. My throat goes dry. I find the kitchen and grab a red plastic cup to get myself some water, and that’s when I see it.
From my spot at the sink, I see the back of Noah Riley—with his arm around another girl, walking right out the front door.
He’s leaving.
He’s leaving me.