Chapter 14 Love Makes Us Stupid #2
If they’re no longer friends, why would they be in the same place? But then it only takes me a second to remember that their office is right across the street.
I watch them, curiosity gnawing at me. What could Alek and David be discussing with such intensity? Even from here, their body language screams tension.
Did David not take the news that Alek and Jerica were no longer friends badly? Did he secretly want them together? He was always nice to me when we hung out, and I never really got a bad vibe from him, but I know people are good at hiding what they don’t want seen.
How do they even manage to work together after everything? After what I saw at the diner, there has to be tension simmering beneath the surface. No way Alek and Jerica are just fine with it all. Not after years of friendship and all the times he made me feel like I’d never measure up to her.
I’m still sorting through my feelings when Alek’s gaze suddenly locks onto mine. I stiffen, lips pressed tight, tilting my head as I meet his stare. He smiles, and my spine goes even straighter. But the smile vanishes the moment Titan’s hand covers mine on the table.
Color drains from his face, and even across the room, I see him swallow hard, his hurt radiating toward me like a slap.
I grit my teeth, refusing to let guilt in, and lift my chin in defiance. That’s when I see determination settle over his features, and he pushes himself to his feet.
He’s heading straight for us, and every instinct in me screams to bolt for the exit.
Alek halts at our table, arms crossed, glaring at Titan’s hand over mine. Part of me wants to yank my hand away, but I keep it right where it is. I refuse to let him think he’s rattled me.
“Alek. What are you doing?” I ask.
He finally tears himself away from the silent, testosterone-fueled standoff with Titan. When his eyes meet mine, a familiar warmth washes over me. Alek usually keeps his feelings locked up tight, so seeing him lay himself bare like this makes my throat tighten.
He’s saying he misses me, that he’s sorry, that he regrets it all—without uttering a word. It’s beautiful, almost perfect. So why couldn’t he show me this before? Why did it take losing me for him to finally see what was in his own heart?
My eyes glance behind him to where David is watching us. The familiar weight of Alek’s fingers rests against my chin as he turns my head back toward him.
“I’m not here with her, baby girl. Haven’t talked to her in a few weeks now.”
He must see the skepticism on my face because he sighs, releasing my chin and shoving his hands into his pockets.
“I get that you can’t believe me. Especially when it comes to her. But it’s the truth, Vin. I choose you. I always will.”
I snort, shaking my head. “A little late, don’t you think? The time to choose me should have been years ago, Alek.”
He nods. “You’re right. I had a shit way of showing you I cared about you.”
“So, then. Why are you here now?”
“It’s our lunch break.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “Why are you right here at my table?”
He glances at Titan with a slight noise in his throat before glancing back at me.
Well, this is a twist I didn’t see coming.
Alek’s possessiveness is practically radiating off him.
I laugh. “I see. So, you can have all kinds of time with Jerica, who you’ve always claimed was only a friend, but you only start feeling possessive of me when another male is around me?”
“Start feeling possessive? Baby girl, you must not have been paying attention, but I’ve always been that way over you. You’re mine. You always have been.”
I lean in, arms folded on the table, giving him a small, wry smile. “You sure have a strange way of showing it. For three years, I was convinced Jerica was the only one who really belonged to you.”
His ears flush red, and he drops his gaze, but only for a moment. He straightens, locking eyes with me, a stubborn glint sparking in his eyes. That look tells me I’m in for a wild ride. He’s not backing down, not this time.
The real question is, do I even want him to fight for me anymore?
“You, Hayvin Marie, are the only person that’s been in my heart for the last three years.
Jerica was only a friend. I was a fucking coward and used her to keep a distance between us because you fucking terrified me.
Love terrified me. I stupidly thought that if I didn’t let you in, I couldn’t be hurt.
The only thing my stupidity did was cause you immense pain.
” He blows out a breath and seems to grow taller, and I brace myself for whatever he’s about to say.
“When I went to help Jerica move, she kissed me. I didn’t want it.
I didn’t ask for it. It fucking made me sick to my stomach, and I couldn’t move at all because I couldn’t believe it was happening.
By the time I actually understood that it was, she was already moving away.
Reggie cheated on her, so when he showed up, she chose to fuck the consequences and kissed me to make him jealous.
Which in turn made me cheat on you, and I don’t fucking like it. ”
I already knew all this from Reggie, but I’m honestly shocked Alek is spilling it now, right here, in front of Titan and everyone else.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you need to know I cheated on you. It wasn’t intentional, and it wasn’t something I sought out to do. Hell, I never in my life would have done that to—”
“Alek, stop. You didn’t cheat on me. Do I hate that her mouth was on yours? Fuck, yes. But you didn’t cheat. We were over as soon as you walked out the front door after I told you we weren’t okay. And from the sounds of it, you didn’t want her to kiss you.”
He shrugs. “In my mind, we were still together, Vin. So, yes, I did.”
“If that’s what you need to tell yourself, but that’s just not the way I see it. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt because it fucking makes me sick to think about it, but I can’t see it as cheating because in my mind we were already over.”
“Stop excusing it!” he growls harshly.
I spring to my feet, catching Titan doing the same. I jab a finger into Alek’s chest. “You want to hash this out now? Because I sure don’t, but it looks like we’re doing it anyway. Outside. Both of you.”
They just stare at me, wide-eyed and frozen. I snap my fingers. “Now. Titan, tell our server we’ll be back. She can watch from the front for all I care.”
I whirl around and march for the door, ignoring every pair of eyes burning into my back.
Let them stare. I don’t owe anyone here a damn thing.
My hands tremble, so I cross my arms tight over my chest, fists clenched to keep the shaking at bay.
Once we’re outside, I spin around and square up to Alek, toe to toe. Something I haven’t done since our last big blowout before we moved in together.
“I’m not excusing a damn thing, Alek. If you’d actually cheated, I’d call your ass out right here.
From what you said, you were frozen, couldn’t even push her away.
I’m not your biggest fan right now, but honestly, I’m furious at her.
So mad I want to drag her out by her hair.
Do I really need to spell this out for you? ”
“No,” he growls. “But it still doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I did.”
My shoulders sag, and I fold in on myself. “Alek,” I say, my voice small and tired. “I’m not here to tell you how to feel. The truth is, our problems run deeper than this. I appreciate your honesty, but I already knew.”
“Fucking Reggie,” he mutters.
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter how I found out.
Like I said, our issues go way deeper. Not once did I ever come first to her.
Never, Alek. Do you know what it’s like to feel like a placeholder in someone’s life?
Your words are hard to trust when your actions always say something else.
I’m worth more than being second best. I know what I deserve.
I lost myself in you for three years and have nothing to show for it.
That’s heartbreaking. And you know what’s wild?
I was never insecure about Charlie, the one you actually slept with.
But with Jerica, whom you claim was just a friend, you always made me feel like I was less.
I don’t know if your words will ever mean anything to me again.
They’re just pretty sentences unless you back them up with real actions. ”
“Give me the chance to show you then.”
He steps closer, and even though every part of me wants to collapse into his arms, I stand my ground, refusing to let him see me waver.
Alek’s fingers trace softly down my cheek, his touch gentle and full of longing. “Let me prove to you it’s always been you.”
Titan stands against the bricks of the building, his arms folded over, watching us curiously.
I shuffle my feet, twisting my hands together, trying to process what he’s asking of me.
I love Alek. That’s never been the issue. Loving him meant swallowing a lot of pain I shouldn’t have. I was always the one fighting for us, so part of me wants to let him take up the battle now. But I’m not sure I have the strength to risk my heart again.
There’s one thing I need to know first.
“Why?” I ask.
“What?” he replies.
“Why? Why do you want the chance to prove it so badly?”
Alek goes pale, fear flickering in his eyes, but he doesn’t flinch. He lifts his chin and meets my gaze head-on.
“Because I love you.”
I stand frozen, trembling, staring at him without really seeing. His words sink deep, but instead of the joy I always imagined, all I want to do is run.
He waits for a response, but I have nothing to give. My mind is blank, so I just shake my head and slowly back away.
“Hayvin?” he says, worry filling his eyes.
He steps toward me, and I jerk away so fast I nearly fall, but Titan catches me just in time.
“Hayvin. Baby girl,” he whispers.
His voice is thick with sorrow, and I ache to comfort him, to say we’re both okay. But I can’t. Something inside me is broken, and I’m terrified.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, turning away from him and hurrying towards my car.
Titan stops me before I can get in, his warm hands cradling my face, grounding me. “I’m taking you home.”
“Your bike,” I croak.
“Exactly. You’re not driving. You’re getting your fine ass on behind me, and I’ll get you home safe. You’re in no shape to be behind the wheel.”
“What about the food?” I whisper.
“Yo, fuckboy!” Titan calls out to Alek over the roof of my car.
Alek says something back, but it’s like I’ve tuned him out.
“You handle the check. This is on you. She’s not safe to drive.”
“I got it covered. Just…get her home safe, yeah?” Alek says quietly.
That’s when I notice Alek has come over to us.
“I’ll always make sure she’s safe. She’s always been the first choice for me.”
Lie.
“Yeah? That’s why y’all aren’t together, huh? Because you also put her first?” Alek says sarcastically. “Look. Just keep an eye on her. I fucked up. Again.”
The brush of his fingers over my cheek nearly melts the ice inside me, and I almost lean into his touch.
Because I love you.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
In the words of A to Z, it’s just Lip Service and Pretty Lies.