48
Valentina
The walk to Huxley’s truck this morning feels like miles. As much as I’m glad that my friends reminded me that this is all for the deal, I still wish they hadn’t. Or at least waited until we got closer to our end date.
But if that were the case, I would have just fallen even more for Huxley, and I would have been worse off. So, whether it’s better or worse to know right now, I’m not sure. Either way, I’m going to end up hurt.
I open the passenger door and pull myself in. After I shut the door, I wait for the inevitable good morning kiss that Huxley has been giving me since we started kissing.
But nothing happens.
Instead, his eyes trace over my body, taking me in.
Fine. I guess he’s not kissing me today.
I grab my seat belt to pull it around me, but can’t stop myself from glancing back at him. He’s still just staring at me. Or rather, my clothes.
I look down at my flare rust-colored pants and oversized cream sweater. I found a pair of boots that I was dying to wear, and thought this outfit was perfect. Now I feel like I’m wearing trash bags and boxes on my feet. It’s amazing how a simple look from a man can ruin your day.
“If you don’t like it, you can stop staring at me,” I snap.
His eyes fly up to mine as he frowns. “Who said I didn’t like it?”
“Then why are you just staring at me?”
A smile tilts on his lips. “Because I’ve never seen you more like yourself.”
Oh. “Really?”
“Valentina, listen.” He turns more to face me. “You looked good in your other clothes. But you just seemed stiff in them. Like someone bought them for you, and you were too kind to say no. But this…” His eyes fall over me again. “This is you. This is the girl I always knew you could be.”
My eyes widen a little, and my throat wants to close up. “You imagined me a certain way?”
Of course he did. And when he sees you’re not as perfect as he imagined, he’ll walk right out the door and find someone who actually is.
Yeah, I didn’t miss you.
You’ll never get rid of me.
Huxley swallows roughly, eyes jumping back up to mine. “I just knew there was a side of you that needed to be brought out.”
I smile as the tension rolls off my shoulders. “I guess I just needed to be kissed to know who I was.”
He smirks. “Which reminds me.” He reaches towards me, grips my thigh, and pulls me next to him. I gasp but immediately laugh into our kiss as he presses his lips to mine. Desperate and rough.
“Took you long enough,” I breathe against his lips.
“I had to admire you first.”
I shake my head. “Always kiss me first. Then stare at me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Huxley wraps his arm tighter around me, kissing me again, and the last of my worries fades away.
My leg moves up over his, tangling us together, pulling us closer. I brush my fingers into his hair, tightly gripping the strands. I never want to let go. I honestly don’t care if this kills me. I just never want to let go of him. But he pulls back, and I whine from the disconnection.
He chuckles deeply. “Easy, Love. We still have class.” His mouth moves over to my ear, and he whispers, “But you’re all mine later.”
Shivers rush down my spine. Somehow, the thought of being all his later and not right now builds up the need for him to be close to me. I don’t want to wait, but I know waiting will be worth it.
I press a quick kiss to his lips and move to my seat. Once I pull my seat belt around me, Huxley pulls out and takes us to campus.
And the anticipation begins.
Idon’t remember the last time I was complimented. I mean, sure, Huxley has complimented me a few times, but when random people you don’t know do it, it’s different.
People were looking at me, and it wasn’t because they were mad that I was with Huxley. They were looking at me and telling me they liked my outfit, that I looked good. I’m not one to believe compliments well, but with this many people saying something nice, I find it hard not to believe them.
A burst of happiness spreads through me as I head down the stairs to go outside. I feel people watching me the whole way, but their attention isn’t the one I’m thinking of.
My eyes fall on Huxley, and a smile spreads on my face. He smiles back, and somehow, my happiness grows.
I skip down the stairs and up to him, even twirling on my way.
“My god,” he says in awe.
“What?” I ask, giddy with this feeling. I bounce on my feet, and Huxley laughs.
“Cute shoes.”
I turn my head and slightly wave at the girl passing us. “Thank you.”
I look back up at Huxley. My smile instantly fades, and I stop bouncing.
He’s no longer smiling.
“Huxley.” My voice drops to a nearly unhearable level. What did I do? I thought he liked that I was happy. Am I too happy? Is that even a thing?
He brings his hands up to my face slowly, holding me carefully. His mouth opens slightly, but nothing comes out, which only adds to my worries. Then a soft smile graces his face as he presses his forehead into mine.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” he softly sings. My smile comes back even bigger. A giggle of laughter breaks free as I grip his wrists, needing the connection as he sings to me.
“You make me happy when skies are grey.”
“The sun’s shining today, Huxley.” I point out.
“Because of you,” he whispers. I grip his wrists tighter. “Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
He kisses me softly and pulls back, smiling down at me.
My smile doesn’t fade as I reach for his hands. An overwhelming burst of confidence washes over me as I lift our joined hands to our sides. Like we’re flying together in our own little world.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” I sing back to him. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but a smile spreads just as quickly across his face. “You make me happy when skies are grey.”
“God, I love how happy you are,” he breathes out.
I push myself into his chest and lean up on my tiptoes. “Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
Huxley leans down and kisses me again, capping off our little moment that will never leave my mind.
“You are the sun, Valentina Demarco,” he says with honest conviction.
My smile brightens. “If I’m the Sun, then you’re the Sun.”
“Don’t quote The Notebook on me.”
I lean back in shock. “You’ve seen The Notebook?”
“Who hasn’t seen The Notebook?” I narrow my eyes. “What is it, Love?”
“Have you actually seen The Notebook, or have you just heard that quote so many times that you know where it’s from?” I ask skeptically.
Huxley hesitates but ultimately sighs. “Don’t make me watch it.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t,” I assure him. “It’s too overrated anyway.” I take one of his hands and start pulling him along.
“Are you even allowed to say that?” he asks, matching my stride easily.
“I mean, I get it. They were in love with each other, then they got separated for a few years, and then they found their way back to each other.” I shrug.
“It’s cute, but I think people are too obsessed with the fact that it’s told from the guy's perspective when he’s like 70 or 80 and he’s reading it all to her because she forgot, and then she remembers. Cute, but overrated.”
“She forgets?” Huxley asks, a little curious now. “Like everything?”
I nod, swinging our hands between us. “She gets Alzheimer’s, and when she starts to forget stuff, she writes it all down. When she doesn’t remember anymore, he reads it to her to try and help her remember.”
“Does she?”
“She does.” I pause. “And then they die together.”
Huxley pulls me to a stop, shock covering his face. “They die together? How?”
“In their sleep. Holding each other. She asked him if love could take them away together, and he said their love can do anything.”
“Wow.” Genuine surprise covers his face.
I smile, holding back a laugh.“You actually want to watch it now, don’t you?”
He nods. “Yeah. Kind of.” He’s serious. And it throws me off.
My smile falls. “Really?” I ask quietly. “Why?”
He shrugs. “I know it’s fake and that love doesn’t really work that way, but I never thought of something like that to be possible, even in fiction. Love that lasts. Love that defeats the odds. Love lost to be found again.”
I let go of his hand. I don’t mean to, but I kind of want to be as far away from Huxley Adams as I can be right now.
How many times has the truth been right in front of me? How many times did I ignore the words he said to convince myself that this was real?
It’s right here. It’s right in front of my face.
Does he even believe in love?
Of course not. That’s why he came up with this deal, so he could see what a relationship was like. It wasn’t to fall in love with me or to get me to fall in love with him.
We were doomed from the start. At least I see it now.
“What did I say?” Huxley asks softly.
I shake my head and try not to cry. If I cry, he’ll know that I have feelings. Feelings that are useless. Or maybe that’s just me.
“Nothing. I just never thought of it that way before.” I scoff. “Maybe I don’t believe in love like I thought I did. Maybe it doesn’t even exist.”
Huxley takes a step closer to me, and I force myself to look at him. “You believe in love,” he says heavily. “You’re too good of a person not to.”
You don’t know me.
“You can be a good person and not believe in something,” I tell him softly, all of my energy from earlier gone now.
“But you deserve to believe in love,” he counters. “And you deserve to be loved.”
But not by you.
I pull my eyes away from him and stare at my feet.
I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. For the first time in my life, I thought someone was loving me for me. I thought I was going to be okay.
But this isn’t real.
Huxley Adams doesn’t want me. He never did. He’s just damn good at playing this game.
“I’m sure I have the movie at my apartment,” I say to the ground. “Although you might have to watch it with—”
Huxley pulls my face up and kisses me. His hands tighten in my hair, and I have to grip his forearms just to keep myself steady. He pulls back, leaving me out of breath, and his forehead falls to mine.
“Don’t give up, Valentina,” he whispers. “Just don’t give up.”
I don’t know if he means on love, on myself, or on him, but his kiss leaves me dizzy. My sense of reality feels hazy, and all I want to do is kiss him again. Fall into his arms and believe that I’ll be enough for him to fall in love with me.
I tilt my head slightly and press my lips back to his. “If I can’t give up,” I whisper, “then neither can you.”
His fingers brush through my hair. “Are you still quoting the movie?”
“If you think I am, then I am.”
He glares at me, but I smile at him, and his features soften. He wraps his arm around my shoulders so we can continue walking.
“Can’t you just steal the movie and bring it to my apartment?” he asks, lightly tracing his fingers over my arm.
“Aww. You don’t want to cry in front of my friends?”
He rolls his eyes. “I won’t cry, Valentine.”
“Oh, you will.”
“You want to bet on it?”
I bring my hand up to his, and he lets me intertwine our fingers. “What do I get if I win?” I ask, pulling his arm more around me, pulling me closer to him.
“To see me cry over a romance movie,” he deadpans.
“That would be worth it.”
He pinches my shoulder, and I yelp. Without breaking a step in our walk, he leans down and kisses the area he pinched.
“And what do you get if you win?”
He looks forward while he thinks, so I look forward as well. He’s probably going to say that this weekend, I’m not allowed to leave his side to make up for the past few days. I can’t imagine him doing anything crazier than that.
He leans down to me, and I lift my cheek for the kiss I expect him to leave there. But his lips press to my neck, sending a shocked sound from my throat and stopping me in my tracks.
He chuckles against my skin. “I get to kiss you here,” he whispers. His fingers brush over my neck, making me shiver.
“And maybe here.” His fingers slowly move down my neck, gently tracing over my collarbone before reaching the area above my breasts. My breathing picks up under his touch, and he watches my chest rise and fall.
“And then we’ll see where that leads us.” His hand moves further, traveling between my breasts. I scan our surroundings, making sure no one is watching us. Thank god no one is.
“Maybe here.” He traces the area around where my belly button would be.
“Huxley,” I breathe out. “Huxley, we’re in public.”
“So?” His voice is low, making my knees tremble.
I swallow around my dry throat. “You can’t touch me like that,” I whisper, making my words sound very unconvincing.
He takes a step closer to me, his lips pressing to my ear. “Or maybe here.”
His hand moves over my hip, pulling me even closer to him. I bite my tongue to stop the noise that wants to come out.
“I could even kiss you lower if you want,” he says deeply.
“What?” I squeak, trembling from his touch and voice. I don’t know how much longer I can keep myself together at this point.
“But we’ll see what happens.” He kisses my earlobe, and the noise I was trying to hide slips through. I quickly cover my mouth with my hand as Huxley leans back to look at me.
“You sound amazing.” His voice reaches a new level of roughness that sets my whole body on fire. It also makes another noise leave my covered mouth. My eyes widen in horror that his voice made me fucking moan. In public.
Huxley’s eyes darken as he swallows roughly. “God, when are we watching this movie?”
I drop my hand. “Forget the movie.”
His eyes widen this time. “Val?”
My mouth opens in an attempt to get words out, but I end up stumbling. “Just…I…”
Huxley grabs my face again, pulling me back into a kiss. The desperate kind. The kind that makes me forget who I am.
“I’m taking you home,” he says hoarsely.
I nod and let him pull me to his truck.