Chapter 70
MAC
“Your dad told me you’re still being a dumbass,” Theo said, the second I opened the front door for him. He shrugged out of his coat and handed it to me.
“Is that why you’re here because I didn’t invite you.”
He went into my kitchen and I followed after hanging up his coat. “Got any coffee? Mallory has me cutting out baby chicks and spring flowers for a bulletin board in her classroom. Brain surgery was less labor intensive.”
“In the pot. Dad made it just a little while ago.”
The weather had improved enough that the snow was gone from the back yard. Dad and Andy were on the deck building a bat house. The sun was bright and they’d shed their heavy coats.
Their project looked like a flat bird house and it was going to be hung on the side of the garage.
It was their hope the bats would eat mosquitos and keep our deck free from those pests this summer.
I didn’t think we would see them–mosquitos or bats–for another few weeks, spring was starting to creep in.
There were also new guests in the garage apartment. A couple from Utah in town looking to buy a house. They left first thing this morning with their Realtor and I hadn’t seen them since.
Theo started opening and closing cabinets until he found where the mugs were kept. He filled one with hot coffee. Then he leaned against the counter and faced me.
“This is an intervention,” he said.
I sighed, ran a hand over my face. I hadn’t slept well since Georgia had been in my bed. I didn’t want to wash my sheets because they still smelled like her, but I had to soon.
“Seriously? Only you showed up? I figured at least Smutters and Mav would be here.”
He took a sip of coffee. Somehow, he didn’t seem to be in a rush. Clearly cutting out paper flowers was worse than an intervention with me. “Your dad tried to talk sense, but he gave up. I think it’s because he’s too nice. I’m not.”
He gave me the patented Theo the Doctor look.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Okay, asshole. Intervene. On what exactly?”
“On you being an idiot about Georgia. Why hasn’t anything he’s said sunk in? Or Andy. He’s six and know’s she’s a keeper. Mav wanted her.”
I glared.
He rolled his eyes. “For work. Jesus.”
“Fine. How am I an idiot?”
“Because you love her and you haven’t told her and she’s not here.”
“And you’re an expert on love?”
“No, I’m an expert on being a dumbass. Ask Mallory. It takes one to know one. That’s why I got called for this. You’re a lot like me.”
“Oh?”
“The reason I walked away from being a surgeon and moving here for the quiet life of a small town doctor was because I had a kid on my table who died. I should’ve felt something.
Sadness at the loss of someone so young.
Anger for the kid missing out on so much just because he got in a car accident. I compartmentalized all too well.”
“That sucks.” I never heard the exact reason before.
“You, as a first responder, see sad and horrible shit all the time. Before patients even got to the hospital and someone like me. You have to put those feelings aside.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“Georgia may have worked on the fire department fundraiser, but what you two shared wasn’t part of the job. It’s okay to feel something for someone.”
I leaned a hip on the counter, facing him. “Look, I told Dad and I’ll tell you, it was casual between me and Georgia. Nothing more. Remember at Kincaids? You were the one who told me to think with my dick.”
“Dick, not heart. You’re the one who got his heart involved.”
I frowned. “How so?”
“If it was casual, you wouldn’t have had her watch Andy. And help your dad. That takes trust.”
“I trust her. Why shouldn’t I?”
He shook his head. “Of course you should! It’s one thing to share your body with her, that’s easy. A quick lay is quick for a reason. It’s another to share your life. You did, but with conditions.”
I scratched my head. “What are you talking about?”
“She was literally part of the family. She loves you. She loves your dad. She loves Andy. She doesn’t give a shit that you’re a grumpy fuck and that you work ridiculous hours. That you have to get up and leave at any time for an emergency.”
What was he getting at? “Okay.”
“You gave her everything except the one thing she needed to stay.”
“I got the hot water heater fixed.”
He rolled his eyes. “Jesus, you’re worse than I ever was. It’s not fucking hot water.”
I tossed my hands up. “Fine, what is it?”
“Your love.”
“I don’t–”
He held up a hand. “Don’t lie. If you didn’t care for her, you wouldn’t be moping and be a grumpy fuck. If you didn’t give a shit about her, you wouldn’t remember her name. Or need your dad and me to help you get your head out of your ass.”
I sighed.
“Did you tell her how you feel? Did you tell her and she turned you down?”
I thought back. “I told her… I told her I hadn’t met the right woman yet.”
He stared at me like I just told him I drank bleach because I wanted to clean out my insides.
He set his mug down and put his hands on his hips. “To her face. You told Georgia TO HER FACE you hadn’t met the right woman yet?”
“Yes. We were in bed and–”
I’d been in bed with her. She’d been naked, a pink flush on her skin because I’d fucked a few orgasms out of her.
“And?”
I thought for a second. “And then I added that Hunter Valley had everything I could ever want.”
“Then what did she do? Kick you in the nuts? You were in bed with a woman and told her you hadn’t met the right one yet and the only one you’d find would be in Hunter Valley, where she wasn’t going to be. As if she wasn’t The Woman. Do you see what you did there?”
I frowned. Nodded.
“Of course she left town. She left because you told her the right woman for you is out there and it’s not her.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Jesus, you’re the king of dumbasses. Seriously, you get the crown.”
Crown.
“Oh fuck,” I said, running a hand down my face again. My whiskers rasped against my palm and I didn’t remember the last time I shaved. “Her smile. It’s a pageant smile.”
“What’s a pageant smile?”
She gave me a clue that night we had spaghetti and meatballs. “It’s a smile you paste on when you’re in a pageant. She said you smile even when you’re nervous. It’s fake, hiding everything you don’t want people to see.”
I laughed, but it wasn’t fucking funny.
“How many times had she pasted that gorgeous fucking smile on for me when she felt anything but happy?”
All those times–including in bed when I told her unintentionally that she wasn’t the woman for me–she’d smiled brilliantly. She’d dazzled me into thinking everything was fine with her.
“Did you ever even ask her to stay?”
I shook my head and now I was starting feel a little sick. I ran a hand over the back of my neck. “She asked me. She asked me if I wanted her to stay.”
He winced. “Fuck, I’m scared to find out what you said. It can’t be good.”
“She told me she got the job. I thought she meant in Denver, so I told her she should take it.” I tossed my hands up. “That’s what she wanted!”
Now that he was analyzing the hell out of everything I said to Georgia, I should have kept my trap shut.
“She’s career driven?” he asked. “Got her eye on the top of the corporate ladder at James Corp?”
I shook my head. “No. She worked as an assistant at the same PR firm as her ex so they could work together. She wanted a baby.”
“She wanted a family, but never got it with her ex. So she comes here, meets you and your family and surprise! She meshes right in. You three are everything she wants. And she helped you deliver Lindy’s baby.”
No wonder she’d been crying after. It’d been fucking cruel. All of this had.
“Fuck,” I muttered, looking down at my work boots.
“Yeah, fuck. So do you think she really wants the job?”
I nodded. “I do. I mean, she needs one since she’s divorced. Mav wants her and based on her work on the calendar, it’s a good fit.”
“But her dream is a family. She asked if you wanted her to be a part of it and you told her no. You told her to take the job.”
“Yeah. I thought… I thought it was in Denver at the corporate office, so you have to lay off me a little bit. She never said it was here. The first time I learned it was in Hunter Valley was at Mav’s the other night.
I didn’t want to hold her back so I said I was only her host because she was in the garage apartment and made garlic bread for all my guests. ”
He frowned. “I don’t know what the hell the garlic bread thing means.
But if a woman asks if you want her to stay, it means she wants to stay and wants you to tell her you want her to stay.
” He ran a hand over his face. “Fuck, I don’t think that made any sense.
How about this? Did you want her to stay?
Do you want her to be here with you not in the garage apartment? ”
“Yes.”
Yes. I did. I’d wanted her to stay. I’d wanted her to want me. Us. I’d wanted her to choose me, choose Andy. To love us all. And I fucked it all up.
She’d stood there and asked me if I wanted her and I said no. Like a dumbass.
“I haven’t seen you afraid of anything. Why are you so afraid of Georgia?”
I sighed. “People leave, Theo. My mom. Even though I know it’s stupid because she died but missing her hurts.
Tracy, my sister, she didn’t choose us. Man, when she took off and left us, left Andy, that cut deep.
I know Dad puts on a good face, but it’s tough for him.
Then Teri, she was an ex. She didn’t want Andy.
Georgia walked through the security area in all her high-maintenance perfection, pulling a pink suitcase and wearing high heels.
I swear, that lipstick color she wears works like Viagra. ”
“So you thought it was better to keep her away than let her in since you knew she was leaving.”
I nodded.
I was so afraid of people leaving me that I never gave Georgia a chance to stick. That it was easier to recognize that they probably wouldn’t. Georgia had said she wasn’t staying. That was her plan. But if what Dad and Theo said was true, she fell in love with me. With us.
In the time she was here, she became one of us. She blended into our lives seamlessly in no time at all. Unlike what Andy said about pooping, sometimes it didn’t take a while. Sometimes it was fast, too fast.
She gave us–me–everything and in return, I didn’t.
She would’ve stayed. Yet, I let her go. My fear sent her away.
“So, do you want her here in Hunter Valley? With you?”
“Yes.”
“Did you tell her that?”
FUCK! “No.”
“Then there you have it. It’s official. You wear the dumbass crown.”