Chapter 34 Lottie
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
LOTTIE
The smell of warm syrup, baked goods, and bacon as I walk into the dining room of the B he’s going to be so happy for me.
But I couldn’t, for some reason. Sure, we had talked about him following me wherever I decided to move to just the night before.
But something about this whole thing made me rethink that.
How could I have let him agree to that without him knowing the truth about me?
It was something I would have to tell him before we began making plans to move.
The truth of the matter is that after this weekend, we’d made enough money to make final payments to our contractor, the electrician, and even hire professional painters to spare us that job.
According to Daniel, there was already one company sniffing around the place, asking questions about when and if it would be up for sale.
Which meant that I was at the end of the line. It was time to come clean.
But what would happen once I did?
“Lottie? You ready to go or…?” Knox breaks through my panic.
I nod before locking my hands behind his neck to pull him back down to give him a deep kiss. My tongue parts his lips and Knox groans in the back of his throat, dropping the bags to wrap his arms tightly around my waist.
I’m hungry for him. Starved for Knox since Madison offered me a dream job and a ticket out of Ceres Cove.
Like I can’t and will never get enough of this perfect man.
Need builds in the pit of my stomach, between my legs, and my mind is empty of anything and everything that isn’t him.
Heat spreads all over my body, putting me seconds away from ripping his clothes off in the B&B lobby.
“Pretty Girl,” he whispers against my lips, gently pulling away.
“You’re torturing me. I already checked out of the room—it’s not like we can go back before hitting the road.
” He laughs softly as he pulls my hands from where they hold him to me at the back of his neck.
Pressing gentle kisses on my knuckles to soften the blow, he gazes at me with that look in his eye.
The one that tells me how much he wants it, too.
But not nearly as much as I do. Because I haven’t told Knox about Madison’s offer, and the whole thing fills me with dread.
Every second that’s gone by since he asked me how breakfast went and I replied with a simple “Fine,” I’ve felt the weight of our inevitable end.
Sure, he’d said not twenty-four hours before meeting with my former assistant that home was wherever I was, so I know he would move to New York if I asked.
But the more and more I process this new potential avenue, the more I think that it might be kinder to Knox to just let him go.
But then his glacier eyes bore into mine, holding me still, and I can’t think of anything else but the absolute bliss, the joy, of a life shared with this man. At having him by my side always.
My stomach turns as I struggle to suppress a sob, because I don’t want us to end.
He frowns and cups my face. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
I want to groan in frustration, because though I love how easily he can read me, it’s also one of the things I hate the most about our relationship.
“Nothing, I…” And because I know it will be impossible to pretend like everything is dandy, I say, “I just don’t want to leave. It was… such an incredible weekend.”
He smiles and pulls me into him, kissing me once more.
“I know. Though I could tell you had a lot on your mind.” I press my face into his chest, inhaling his scent, making sure I remember this feeling, this very moment, exactly as it is so I can carry it with me always.
His strong arms around me, the way they embrace me protectively, his heart beating loudly against his ribs.
“I understand how upsetting it must’ve been to run into your old assistant and see her thriving in her current role. In all honesty, I thought it would’ve been a fantastic opportunity for her to help you get a new job. I didn’t know it was gonna end up this way.”
I raise my head to look at him. “You what?”
“Yeah. I was a little disappointed when you told me that it was just breakfast and catching up. If she idolized you so much back then, why can’t she help you out now? Help you find something? You did tell her you were looking to move back to the city, right? That you were looking to start over?”
“I—Yes, I… think I did. Pretty sure.” An understatement if there ever was one, as Madison and I went so far as to discuss potential starting salaries, equity, and benefits.
She even offered up her spare bedroom in New York (which, Jesus Christ, she can afford a two-bedroom apartment in Manhattan on her own? Who is she, a Rockefeller?).
“And she still didn’t offer up any help?” He frowns, holding my hands in his.
“I… Just help on my resume. She also said she could help put me in touch with some people, maybe,” I lie, kicking myself. Why is it so hard? Why am I holding back? He would be happy for me—no, he would be ecstatic.
“Still, she should’ve—”
I clear my throat and peck him on the lips once. “It’s okay. She gave me her number, so maybe I can call her next week,” I tell him, trying to appease him. “Let’s head home. This weekend was amazing, but we still have a lot left to do.”