Chapter 22 #2
Coffee turned into coffee and cake when they saw the choice of homemade options at The Old Post Office.
They devoured a millionaire slice and a white chocolate and raspberry shortbread, then took the gravel path past St Kilda’s Church to a beach that was scattered with rocks and had sand the colour of ash.
Moy Castle overlooked the beach, a solid stone tower that had stood since the fifteenth century, surrounded by trees and next to a clear stream that cut across the landscape to the sea.
It was a stunning spot now, but hundreds of years ago it must have been an unforgiving place for the Clan Maclaines who’d lived there, however majestic the location.
The appeal of living somewhere like this was apparent in every direction, but it was exactly what made Loch View House so perfect: its position away from people but not inaccessible, coupled with the mountains, loch and woodland surrounding it.
Aunt Joy’s house had everything; it was hard to imagine someone else living there, let alone Logan never being able to go back.
When Laggan beach came into view, Logan recalled Barney and hooked on his lead.
From the other side of the bay, the beach had looked like a slender cream-coloured sliver, but now they were close, a wide stretch of sand spread in front of them.
The beach was empty apart from the Highland cow herd on the far side that called the beach home.
They followed the track down and left their footprints on the virgin sand.
Highland cows had become one of Tilly’s favourite animals during her summer on Mull.
That might have had something to do with Cal, as his family had a handful of Highland cows as well as their dairy stock of Friesians, but it had been when they’d come across a herd on the drive back from Iona with Logan and Joy that Tilly had fallen in love with them.
They were docile and photogenic, with their shaggy hair covering their eyes and the calves that looked like cuddly teddy bears.
As they got closer to the herd on Laggan beach, Tilly thought there wasn’t a better way to spend her thirty-fifth birthday than in a place this beautiful with her best friend by her side.
They stayed on the beach long enough for Logan to take photos of Tilly with half a dozen Highland cows behind her. There was a gorgeous shaggy one lying on the sand with a piece of straw hanging out of its mouth and its red fringe completely covering its eyes.
The sky was a soft blue with just a few candyfloss-coloured clouds as they started to walk back.
With little wind and the early-evening sun streaming down, it was a welcome contrast to the cold blustery morning on Iona.
They continued past The Old Post Office to the camping area and sat outside the campervan with two bottles of Coke, while Barney settled to sleep at their feet.
‘Did you only say let’s get married at thirty-five because you were certain we both would be by then?’ Logan leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees, the bottle clasped in his hand. ‘Married to other people, I mean.’
Tilly’s heart lurched, because that was the last thing she expected Logan to bring up.
She stalled by swigging her Coke as she thought how best to word an answer that seemed so muddled in her head.
‘I envisaged us being in a very different place to where we are, but that was down to me thinking that thirty-five was ancient. I was twenty-one, we’d had quite a bit to drink and it was a flippant comment. ’
Honeyed light danced across the sea. The sun was a flaming ball of red and would soon disappear altogether.
They’d need to move back round the bay to The Old Post Office to see the sunset in all its glory, but Tilly liked it right where they were.
In fact, she was trying not to think about leaving and tackling the long drive back to the house at all.
‘I don’t think either of us knew what we wanted back then.
’ Logan sighed. ‘We only focused on the immediacy of the moment: you off travelling, me figuring my shit out. Our upbringing and the losses and trauma had such a hold on us back then, I think all we wanted was to not end up alone. That’s always been at the forefront of my mind; it definitely was back then and it certainly is now. ’
Tilly wanted to say you’ll never be on your own, you have me, except it assured too much when she’d made a daft promise years ago that was never going to come true.
There’d been comfort in it though, and the close bond had remained even with the challenges of changing circumstances and getting older.
Tilly settled back in the chair and crossed her legs. ‘I’ve got used to my own company and like it more as I’ve got older, which has highlighted how much I needed company when I was young, to the point I was scared of being alone.’
‘I was too. We were obviously drawn to each other through a need of having someone to count on.’
‘I think that’s why I coped better at boarding school – I finally had the chance to bond with people, I had company in the dorm at night and I felt less alone, thanks to you.’ She smiled and knocked her empty Coke bottle against his.
‘I felt the same way.’ His tone was subdued, the memories from that time no doubt playing on his mind as much as they were on hers.
A gust of wind rustled through the long grass. The only other sound was the surf on the rocks and the muffled voices of a couple of people who’d retreated to the warmth of their campervan. The temperature had dropped with sunset.
Logan pulled out an envelope from the front pocket of his rucksack and handed it to her. ‘Happy birthday. Sorry, I didn’t mean to get bogged down in the doom and gloom of the past.’
‘That’s okay,’ she said, running a finger across the top of the envelope to open it.
‘And it was far from all doom and gloom. I’m sure not everyone can say this, but boarding school with you was one of my favourite times.
’ She opened the card and pulled out two tickets to One Day: The Musical at the Royal Lyceum Edinburgh.
‘Oh my goodness, I’ve been dying to see this! ’
‘I know.’ The glimmer was back in his eyes. ‘Although it’s a selfish present in many ways because it means I get to see you too – as long as you’re happy for me to tag along?’
‘Always. And thank you, Logan.’
He pulled out two bottles of beer from the cool box and went to hand her one.
‘I’d better not when I have to drive back.’
‘We could stay here tonight.’ He gestured around them. The setting was magical with the retreating sun glimmering on the water and the hills beyond Laggan beach velvety-green in the fading light. He raised the beers. ‘And there’s plenty more where these came from.’
It was so tempting to sit with a cold beer and finish watching the sunset, but it also raised a million questions, while providing them with an opportunity to explore whatever was going on between them if they did.
‘It’s your birthday, Tilly. We should make the most of it.’ His cheeks had flushed, or perhaps the sunset colours had accentuated his tan. What she knew for certain was her decision would either put a stop to things or pave the way for a whole lot more.