Chapter 31
Compromise is a part of life and relationships, I understand that, but after losing Robert, I made a promise to never compromise when it came to love and how I felt in my heart.
Extract from Joy’s journal
Tilly had walked round the whole of the outside of the farm by the time she heard a vehicle pulling up. She breathed in a lungful of fresh air, which was tinged with the rich farmyard smell of straw and cows, and wandered back to the weed-filled yard.
Stefan emerged from his van in heavy-duty work trousers with ‘Kelston Construction’ emblazoned on his black T-shirt. He looked like he meant business.
‘Hey, it’s good to see you.’ He strolled towards her, so casual and sure of himself that a flicker of what she’d once found attractive about him stole through Tilly.
A mature hard-working guy with his own successful building firm, plus he was attractive and fit; there’d been a lot to like.
She clenched her fists as they reached each other, because she remembered all that was wrong with him too: his lack of faithfulness; the strong possibility that he’d taken advantage of her off the back of his failed marriage and was still making the most of her generosity by living in her house. And yet, here she was.
‘Hmm, really?’ Tilly replied coolly. ‘It’s the property I’m here to see, not you.’
He chuckled and stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets. ‘Well, I’m glad you’re here and I promise the journey will be worth it.’
Tilly glanced towards the gate. ‘The estate agent’s late.’
‘The estate agent’s a friend.’ Stefan pulled out a set of keys. ‘And the vendors gave permission. A quick sale is what they’re after.’
Well, isn’t that wonderful, Tilly thought sarcastically as she followed him towards the farmhouse.
She had been counting on there being a third person to offset any awkwardness and to keep the proceedings strictly professional.
Stefan always had an agenda and did things his way, for himself. She should have learnt that by now.
The thick stone walls kept out the chill of the morning, but also the sunshine because of the small cottage-style windows.
The problems jumped out as they went from room to room, but also the possibilities.
The dated and greasy kitchen could be cosy and the heart of the house; the shabby bedrooms with large patches of damp and mould on the walls could be luxurious; and while the bathroom needed gutting, the generous space offered lots of options.
And as for the countryside views from every window…
After a full tour of the farmhouse, Stefan led her back outside to the yard, where they poked their heads into the stone barn, which was crumbling, and the piggery with its collapsed roof.
‘And of course out here there’s the potential for at least another two holiday lets as well as the main house.’
‘I thought you said you wanted to sell it, not rent it out?’
‘There’s the potential for both, particularly with you involved.’
The way he was already amending things was ringing alarm bells, and yet her head was pinging with ideas – they were the end result though.
When she took into account the amount of work that would be involved, tied up with her ex-boyfriend in a property that she would normally deem as too risky, then she had her answer.
What had Joy written in her journal about living life by trusting her gut? Tilly’s was screaming to walk away.
Stefan stepped closer, looming over her. ‘It’s a bargain price for a quick sale. Honestly, Tilly, I’ve looked into it already, but we can go somewhere to work through the figures so you’re happy and can see this is a sure-fire thing.’
She stepped out from his shadow. ‘There’s no such thing as sure-fire in this business. You know full well how much extra work will be thrown up once you start on a place like this. It needs everything doing to it.’
‘Yes, there’s more structural work than you’re used to, but that’s where it’ll be a winner with us working on it together.
This is what I do. A lot of work equals a big pay-off at the end.
’ His hands glided up her arms and remained there, his focus intense.
‘As business partners, we’re the dream team, Tilly. ’
‘You honestly believe that when we’ve never worked on a project together, let alone one of this size?’ She pulled away, forcing him to drop his hands. ‘And it’s not like we survived as romantic partners now, is it?’
‘This is different because you’re good at what you do and I’m good at what I do. We combine the two and I promise it’ll be a winning combo.’
Had he always been good at talking the talk?
She’d worked hard to build a successful business and the temptation was there to push it to the next level, but coming here had been an excuse to run away from her complicated feelings.
Except she’d run back to the man who had disrespected her, when all Logan had done was be honest about how he felt.
What the hell was she playing at? She was a fool to even consider that they could work well together. Someone who’d lied to her and behaved the way he had wasn’t a wise choice to be going into business with.
When Tilly had woken up in the M6 services feeling stressed, she’d picked up Joy’s journal and read about her thoughts on love and compromise in a relationship, but also about how she’d never wanted to compromise when it came to love after losing Robert, even if that meant being alone.
Had Tilly always compromised when it came to her heart?
Either she didn’t give her partners a chance and ended things before they could get serious and she could get hurt, or the relationship floundered long before that.
With Stefan it had been somewhere in the middle, with her committing more than she ever had before.
Still, he’d broken her heart when their relationship had failed.
Although when she thought about it, had she been truly broken-hearted?
Hurt? Yes. Angry? Certainly. Upset, definitely, but not heartbroken, even if that had been her immediate assumption.
Because she’d compromised. She’d asked him to move in with her because she felt she should, not because she’d wanted him to; she’d got to the age where everyone around her was settling down.
Although not everyone. Logan had remained single because he loved her.
Tilly gulped back a wave of regret at the mess she’d made of things. She took another step away from Stefan and shaded her eyes. ‘What does your new girlfriend think about you wanting to work with me on a project? I can’t imagine she’d be best pleased, even if you did choose her over me.’
‘I made a huge mistake with Eve. I wasn’t used to being in a relationship with someone as independent and as driven as you, which sounds like an excuse, but it’s not.
I made bad choices and I’m living with that regret.
I want to make it up to you more than anything, which is also why none of this will be a problem. We’re not together any more.’
Realisation dawned on Tilly. ‘She’s left you, hasn’t she?’
Stefan’s cheeks clenched. His gazed shifted away. ‘We’re no longer together, yes, but I’d realised a while ago what a mistake I made messing things up with you—’
‘Around the time I gave you a deadline to move out of my house, you mean?’ Tilly cut in. She gestured towards the farmhouse and outbuildings. ‘This is what all this is about? Rekindling our relationship?’
‘No,’ Stefan said firmly. He held his hands up as if trying to pacify a wild animal.
‘First and foremost, it’s about business and an opportunity that will benefit us both.
On the flip side of that if it brings us closer again, I’m totally up for that.
It’s not like I haven’t thought about it.
’ He stepped close. ‘I miss you, Tilly.’
She scoffed and paced across the weed-filled yard to the rickety wooden fence that divided the farm and the land. The field sloped to a cluster of trees. Beyond, hills covered the horizon and met the blue sky, which was streaked with high white clouds.
Stefan joined her and rested his arms along the top of the fence. ‘What can I do to make it up to you?’
‘You believe that’s even possible?’ Tilly shook her head. ‘Being truthful about why you really wanted me here would have been a start.’
‘But then you wouldn’t have come.’
She swung round to face him and caught her elbow on a piece of splintered wood.
Cursing, she glared at him. ‘Doesn’t that tell you everything you need to know?
You lied to me when we were together and you’re doing the same now, twisting the truth to get me here.
And I fell for it because I was desperate to get away from—’ She stopped short before she revealed too much. ‘Stuff,’ she said instead.
‘What happened on Mull?’
‘None of your goddam business!’ Her anger flared. She’d swapped Logan for someone who didn’t deserve a second more of her time. ‘For a moment, I thought you were actually putting my best interests at heart, but it’s all about you and what you want, isn’t it?’
Stefan held up his hands. ‘I may have gone about it the wrong way, but we can make this work. I know it’s a big ask to trust me, but my work ethic is ace.’
‘It means nothing when I can’t trust you.
’ Tilly glanced back at the farmhouse, imagining the transformation from run-down and tired-looking to an idyllic countryside retreat, but her vision wasn’t enough to make any of this work.
‘I agree it could be spectacular with time and money, but I’m not going to be a part of it.
You either go for it on your own or give up on the idea entirely.
Your choice.’ She pushed away from the fence.
‘I can’t say it was nice seeing you again,’ she called over her shoulder.
‘Hey, you’re not leaving already?’ He paced after her. ‘Come on, let’s go somewhere for a drink and chat things through.’
‘I haven’t got time for this.’ She yanked open the campervan door and glanced back. ‘And no means no, Stefan.’
She slammed the door closed, not giving him the chance to reply. Getting away from Logan and Mull might have been what she’d needed yesterday, but Stefan’s behaviour had put everything in perspective. It had been a mistake to come, but it had at least opened her eyes.
She drove away without a single regret, along the farm track and onto the road she’d come via an hour earlier.
It was a five-hour drive to Oban and once she was on the M6 she’d stop at the services to book the ferry and phone Logan.
She needed to put things right, to apologise and beg for his forgiveness.
She’d been so determined to leave, she hadn’t put the satnav on, and as the road became narrower than she remembered, with high hedges on each side, she wondered if she’d taken a wrong turn.
If she passed a gate she could pull up in, she’d take a look to make sure she was going the right way; she had a long enough journey without an unnecessary detour.
There was a sharp bend up ahead with no space to pass, which made her appreciate the roads on Mull, with their frequent passing places – even the never-ending road to Lochbuie was better than this.
She slowed before she reached the corner, but a screech of tyres on tarmac set her heart racing, then a flash of blue filled her vision.
Tilly slammed her foot on the brake, but even though she’d been going slowly, there was no chance of stopping in time, not at the speed the car coming towards her was going.
She braced for impact.