Chapter 7
It was hot. So hot.
That was Clara’s first thought when she slipped from sleep to awareness. Why was she so hot when she could hear the hum of the air conditioner?
Air conditioner?
She never slept with her air conditioner on all night. Had she forgotten to turn it off?
Slowly everything else began to seep into her consciousness.
The sheets beneath her cheek were scratchier than she was used to.
There was also a heavy weight across her leg.
Something she hadn’t woken up to in months since her cat, Scooter, had passed away.
Her heart clenched in grief at the loss of her fluffy fur baby. Maybe it was time to get a new one.
Focus!
Her mind yelled at her, and Clara paid attention to it. She tried to force her eyes open so that she could find out where the heck she was. Why she was hot. And why there was a dead weight across her legs.
A hairy dead weight.
That was all she needed, and her eyes popped open. The heavy, dark green curtains covering the windows were the first things she saw, and it all began to make sense. She was in a hotel room. The room she’d booked for Ben’s wedding.
Ben!
He was in her room. In her bed. Holding her as if his life depended on it. Sometime during the night, he’d migrated over to her side of the bed, because she was still on her side, where she fell asleep.
For so long she’d wanted this. To wake up in Ben’s arms, but not in these circumstances. She’d wanted it to be because they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other and had finally followed through on what she’d known for a long time—she wanted Ben in more ways than just friendship.
Behind her Ben’s whole body tensed; he was awake and aware of where he was and what he was doing.
She fully expected him to jerk away and apologize profusely for what he’d done. Instead the opposite happened. All the tenseness left his body and he buried his head in her hair.
“Morning,” he mumbled.
What was going on here? Why wasn’t he freaking out about how close they were?
At one point last night she thought for sure he was going to kiss her, but he’d pulled back, and then Reed had arrived and the moment was lost.
“Morning to you, too.” Clara didn’t know what else to say.
Are you okay?
Do you regret being here with me?
Do you want to kiss me?
Do you want to make love to me?
Clara slammed the brakes on the road her mind was traveling down. Nothing good would come from asking any of those questions.
Her heart thudded in her chest. Could he feel it? His hand rested low on her belly. If he moved it in any direction, she wouldn’t mind.
Stop it, Clara!
Being this close to Ben was frying her brain and she couldn’t allow that to happen. Just because she finally accepted that she wanted more from Ben didn’t mean he wanted the same thing.
After this was all over, she’d have to think long and hard if she could continue with her friendship with Ben. It would cut deep and would take months, maybe even years, to get over him not being in her life, if she decided that she was the way she wanted to go.
It wouldn’t be long before Ben found another woman to love. Really love this time, not what he admitted he thought he had with Fern but hadn’t. It was paralyzing to see him get engaged once, twice she wouldn’t recover from.
It would be better to cut the ties immediately, yet she couldn’t.
She was here with Ben and he needed her.
She would see him through his disappointment and then she’d move on.
Maybe she’d look for a job which required a total relocation from Perth.
Maybe that's what they needed. A clean break in a different location to get over the loss of Ben in her life.
“I don’t know what’s going on in your mind, Clarabelle, but you are so tense I’m worried you’re going to snap.” Ben’s sleep-laden voice trickled down her spine, and she took a deep breath, savoring the sound of it.
“Just thinking about work,” she fibbed. It was kind of true, she had been thinking about a future new job.
“Well, I think you should quit if it gets you this stressed.” Ben flexed his fingers on her belly, but didn’t move them away.
Why wasn’t he moving?
Was he even aware of the fact that he was smushed up against her back and she could feel his hard cock against her ass? How she was able to stop herself from wiggling her butt against it amazed her.
He was right there. All she had to do was roll over and she would be facing him. She could place her hands on his hard chest. Lift her face, and he would lower his, and their mouths would meet.
No! Can’t happen!
“I think it’s time we got up.” She launched herself out of the bed and willed herself not to look at him lying amongst the creased sheets.
She turned around and her breath caught.
She used all her willpower to get out of the bed, now she had none.
She couldn’t look away. The sheet lay low on him, barely covering the bottom half of his body.
His muscled chest was on display. He looked delicious and sexily rumpled, and she took a step toward the bed.
One step before she dredged up a sliver of control from deep inside of her. “I, um…” She looked away from Ben because staring at what was on display was fritzing her brain. “I’m going to shower.”
Ben sat up, fortunately he grabbed the sheet at the same time so it didn’t drop any lower, giving her a chance to see what she felt brushing up against her. The devil inside her was disappointed that didn’t happen. “I’ll order some breakfast, then we can do something.”
“Sure. Sounds great.” Clara grabbed an armful of clothes that were dumped on the small couch and raced to the bedroom, hoping she’d collected some clean underwear and something decent to wear.
She slammed the door shut and leaned against it. Ben wanted to spend the day with her. What did that mean?
What did all of it mean? He hadn’t moved away from her when he’d woken up. Apart from that brief moment, he’d acted like waking up with her was an everyday occurrence.
“He can’t?” she whispered, not daring to speak out loud the hope that refused to die within her.
Did Ben want her like she wanted him?
Ben flopped back on the bed the second the bathroom door slammed shut. He squeezed his eyes close, trying not to imagine Clara wet and naked as she took a shower.
He should’ve put some space between them when he’d woken up and realized he was clutching her like she was a life preserver in rough seas.
Yet he couldn’t make himself move. Hadn’t wanted to.
He loved having Clara in his arms. The scent of vanilla now filled his senses.
A scent he knew came from the shampoo she’d used for the whole time he’d known her.
He groaned when the shower started and, against his will, his imagination taunted him with what Clara could look like. Water rushing down her body, between her breasts. If possible his cock got even harder than it was when he’d woken up and it had been nestled against Clara’s shapely ass.
What had she been thinking about when he held her?
He didn’t believe for a second that she’d been thinking about work. Had she been thinking about them? With the way her body had become so tense in his embrace, had she wanted to get away but hadn’t known how to do it?
Then again she’d jumped from the bed as if it had turned into a pit of snakes so maybe she had wanted to get away from him as fast as possible.
But he hadn’t imagined the way her eyes flared with desire when she looked back at the bed and saw him lying there.
Nor the way she took one step before she’d gotten control over her body’s actions.
He flung an arm across his eyes, wishing that he could ask her what was going on. What she was feeling.
“The shower’s free.”
Ben put his arm down and found Clara standing at the foot of the bed. Her hair was damp and curling softly around her shoulders. The blue flowered dress she wore was cute and short, displaying her long legs. Legs he could easily picture wrapped around his waist as he slid in and out of her slowly.
Fucking hell, get a grip.
He should listen to his inner voice, but now that he knew he was free and Clara was free, what had once been elusive between them could be a possibility.
Ben was convinced Clara wanted something too, because her gaze hadn’t strayed from his chest. If she tracked it a little lower, she’d find out just how much he wanted her.
Which was why he couldn’t get out of bed at this moment.
There was no hiding how turned on he was, and if he wanted to have a chance with Clara, he had to convince her that what he was feeling wasn’t a rebound from his failed almost-wedding, but from feelings he’d long since buried and not allowed himself to feel.
“Ben? Are you okay?” She glanced down at her dress, as if looking for a reason why he was gazing at her.
How much time had stretched between her letting him know the shower was free until now? Plenty, by the way her brow furrowed.
“Umm yeah, I just remembered I forgot to order breakfast. Can you pass me the menu?” he asked, adding an impish grin in the hopes that she wouldn’t delve more into why he’d been staring at her and not saying a word.
“Sure.”
The moment she had her back turned, he jumped out of bed and grabbed the trousers he had on last night, while thinking about walking in on his parents when he’d been ten and they’d been getting busy, hoping that the memory would reduce his hard-on.
It worked and, by the time she turned around, his pants were done up and he was only semi-erect. He took the menu from her and opened it. “What’s your fancy?”
“Not sure, but I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you shower and we go out to one of the cafés around here for breakfast?
I’m sure it’s going to be far cheaper than room service.
” The words tumbled over each other, so unusual for Clara.
She didn’t speak nervously, usually. Her gaze kept darting to the unkempt bed.
“Sure. I can be ready in a few minutes.” At least around other people he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her.
“Great.”
They stood there for a few awkward seconds before he collected up the duffle Reed had brought him and made his way to the bathroom.
Today was going to be the start of the new version of Clara and Ben. He just hoped Clara was on board with it.