Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Raylan
Iwas seriously dragging. Even the coffee the boys in the bunkhouse made wasn’t enough to wake my ass up, and that shit was barely one step up from road tar.
But despite the fact I could have fallen asleep standing up, I couldn’t bring myself to care.
The reason behind my exhaustion was totally worth it.
I would have gladly gone without sleep for days if it meant getting to spend as much time as possible with Lennix.
The past two weeks had been some of the best days of my life.
I got back the pieces of her I’d lost while we were fighting; her sassy mouth and that attitude that made Lennix who she was, but I’d also gotten so much more. And I wasn’t talking about sex.
Well, not only about sex.
I’d always enjoyed spending time with her, but it was different now.
Now I got to hold her. I got to bury my nose in her hair and pull in that fragrance that had tortured me for years.
I got to touch her silky skin and kiss those plump lips.
I got to do all the things I’d wanted to do since I stopped seeing her as her brother’s little sister, and instead, saw her as the gorgeous, full-of-life woman she really was.
I’d always known she was funny and clever.
She was sweet when she wanted to be, but wouldn’t hesitate to throw down for someone she loved .
. . or an animal in need. But now I got to experience sides of her I hadn’t known existed.
I learned that she could be shy at times, that she could be nervous when it came to some of the things we did in the bedroom—or the barn, or the kitchen, or the shower .
. . you get the picture—because of her lack of experience, but she never let it hold her back.
She was always so determined to push through and excel at everything she tried, and the end results were out of this goddamn world.
She also didn’t seem to mind that we had to keep everything behind closed doors. Though, I had to admit, the sneaking around made it even hotter.
I hadn’t spent a single night in my own bed since we started up together.
To be honest, I was surprised I hadn’t been eager for my own space, at least from time to time, but the thought of crawling beneath my own sheets—that were garbage compared to Lennix’s far superior bamboo sheets—without her soft, sweet body to wrap around left a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
My apartment, that had once been my sanctuary, now felt as cold and unappealing as most people would consider it to be.
I’d never had a desire to shack up with a woman.
The few I’d seen more than once had always known the score.
They had their place and I had mine, and never the two shall meet.
There were no sleepovers or snuggle sessions.
But Lennix wasn’t like any of them. Hell, I was convinced there wasn’t a woman on the planet like my Chaos.
The need for space didn’t exist where she was concerned.
In fact, I didn’t want to be away from her.
I couldn’t get enough of the woman who loved to challenge me and push my buttons as much as I loved pushing hers.
And that made pretending nothing was going on between us when other people were around a little tricky.
The other obstacle we had to overcome was her work hours.
Running a bar and brewery wasn’t exactly a nine to five kind of job.
There were more than a handful of late nights, making Lennix’s insanely early mornings even worse.
Now that tourist season was slowing down at the lodge, I didn’t have many early morning sunrise hikes, so, as often as I could, I cancelled her alarm while she was still asleep and took care of her animals for her so she could get a few extra hours.
Sure, the reason for doing so wasn’t completely selfless. I got to crawl back in bed with her when I was done, but mostly, I wanted to take care of her when I could, which meant making sure she got enough sleep.
Taking care of her also meant that The Tap Room now had a brand new, top of the line security system.
Of course, she gave me shit about it the entire time it was being installed, but I was able to quiet her down by locking us both in her office and eating her out until she came all over my face after the bar had closed for the night, then fucking her until both of us came so hard we were panting and gasping for air for a full five minutes.
“Yo, earth to Raylan.”
The voice pulled me out of my daydream and back to the present. I blinked away the memory of Lennix curled up in her bedsheets this morning and the adorable tiny, chuffing snores she made when she was sleeping hard until the stream came back into clear view.
I turned to look at Toby, standing beside me on the bank. “Huh?”
“You got something on your line,” he said, pointing to the water where my line was bobbing, but before I could reel the fish in, it managed to fight his way off my hook.
“Shit. Sorry. Must’ve spaced there for a minute.” That had been happening a lot lately. Any time I wasn’t actively using my brain for something, it was a safe bet that Lennix was swirling around inside my head.
“I know what you were thinkin’ about. It’s a girl, isn’t it?” Toby gave me a look that was part grossed out, part proud. A typical twelve-year-old-boy response to the opposite sex. He was old enough to crush on girls, but still young enough that he hadn’t quite grown out of the cooties stage yet.
I cast him a side-eyed look. “I haven’t thought about a girl in a very long time, bud. But I might have had my mind on a particular woman.”
His eyes bugged out, then his face split into a broad, goofy smile. “It was that hot chi—I mean, it was that hot lady from before, wasn’t it?”
I mimed zipping my lips and tossing the key into the stream. “I’m not telling.”
He let out a snort and turned back to the water, reeling his line in so he could cast it back out like I’d taught him.
“What about you?” I asked after a few minutes of companionable silence.
He looked at me with a scrunched brow. “What about me what?”
“You got someone, bud?”
His head shot back to the water, his cheeks and the tips of his ears growing pink. It was obvious he was interested in someone, but before I could tease him for answers, I noticed his mouth was pulled tight, and it wasn’t in the usual, shy, giddy, I’m-a-kid-with-a-crush kind of way.
“Hey.” I lightly bumped his shoulder with my elbow. “What’s going on, kid?”
“Nothin’,” he muttered, casting out with more force than was necessary.
“Toby.” I waited until he looked back at me. “You know you can talk to me. You know that, right? I’m here for you. No matter what.”
He blew out a sigh that was way too heavy for a kid his age. I fucking hated how much he had to carry on his little shoulders. I would have given up everything that was important to me if it meant giving him back his happy, loving family.
“There’s . . . a girl,” he started, but I couldn’t tell by his tone whether the fact that there was a girl was a good thing or a bad thing.
I wanted to dig, but held myself back, knowing he needed to open up at his own pace.
I reeled in my line and cast out again as I waited.
My stomach twisted into a knot of worry, getting tighter and tighter with each passing second.
The silence lasted so long I was starting to worry he wasn’t going to give me anything more.
Then he finally let it all out. And what he said fucking gutted me.
“She’s nice. And pretty. I like her.” He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “She always comes up and talks to me at lunch.”
“That’s good, right?”
“I guess. But she’s friends with a bunch of assholes.”
I clamped down on the inside of my cheek to keep from reprimanding him about his language. Something told me the curse was warranted. “Oh?” I said instead, then tried to get him to smile by teasing, “Can’t you all be little assholes from time to time? I mean, you give me shit on a regular basis.”
He shook his head, laser focused on the stream like it held all the answers to life. “Not like this. They . . . they make fun of me.”
I was going to murder those little assholes. “What were they making fun of you for?”
“For . . . for not having parents.”
“What?” I barked out so loud my voice echoed across the gurgling water. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”
He shook his head, a single tear breaking free and trailing down his cheek.
“There’s one kid, Mike Booth, he’s the worst.” Christ, it felt like my heart was being ripped I half.
I wanted to rage, to jump in my truck and hunt those fuckers down.
Then I wanted to find their parents and beat the holy hell out of them for raising such shitty human beings.
But as Toby’s mentor, I couldn’t do any of that.
As badly as I wanted to. It was a real bitch, having to be the responsible adult and good influence sometimes.
“Hey, come here, kid.” I took his fishing pole and placed it in the grass along with mine. “Sit down here, will you?” He joined me on the ground, folding his legs crisscross and sniffling. “Tell me what they say.”
“They say . . . they call me Orphan Boy and say no one will ever love me now that my mom and dad are dead. They make fun of me for not having any other family that wanted me and for not having a real home anymore.”
I reached out, placing my hand on his to stop him. For his sake, but for mine as well, because I wasn’t sure how much more I could hear before I started ripping heads off.
“I want you to listen to me. There is nothing wrong with you. Not one damn thing. I’ve known a lot of kids in my day, and I gotta tell you, I like you the best of all of them.”
Toby snorted, but I could see the corner of his mouth tremble as he fought back a grin.
“You’re the coolest kid I know, Toby. And I’m not just saying that.
I’ll tell you something else. I know Mike Booth’s father, and that guy is the biggest loser I’ve ever known.
” I was sure that wasn’t the right thing to say to a young, impressionable kid, but I never claimed to be a pro at this, and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do or say to make Toby feel better.
“Really?”
“Yep. Got kicked off the football team because he was a lazy jerk who was failing all his classes. Barely graduated from high school. But none of that matters, bud. What matters is that you know those other kids are only taking their own issues out on you. People who bully do it because they feel like they don’t have any power in their own lives, so they have to make other people feel even lower so they can deal.
“I’d love to tell you to pop that Mike kid right in the mouth next time he says anything, but we both know that’s not the right way to go. So remember, next time they start on you, remind yourself they’re only doing it because they are lacking something. Not you.”
The sadness that had been in his eyes washed away as he nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I can do that.”
I nodded back at him. “Good. Now pick up your rod, and let’s catch us some fish.” I waggled my eyebrows and added, “And while we’re at it, you can tell me all about the girl, yeah?”
We got back to business, even made into a competition to see who could catch the most fish, and by the time I dropped off Toby at Hope House, the light that had been missing from his eyes earlier was back.