6. Chapter 5
“ W ait, did you just say you’re ditching me to go hiking with my brother?” Phoebe’s voice always sounded louder over the car speakers.
“I’m not ditching you.” Julia wanted to roll her eyes but focused on looking both ways at the stop sign. “We didn’t make plans today. We had to have made plans for me to ditch you. You called me last minute.”
“But I’m more important. I’m your best friend. Ditch him instead.”
“I can’t do that. It’s Jinx.” The street she turned onto was all too familiar.
When she came there for the monthly lunch at her parents’, it didn’t feel quite this nostalgic.
Maybe it was because she was going to the Holdens’ house instead this time.
Their place had often felt more like home while she was young and her mother was in the hospital.
“I get it. You like my brother more than me.” Phoebe sighed heavily into the receiver. “You always did have a soft spot for him.”
“Well, he’s nicer than you,” Julia agreed.
“Hey!”
Julia laughed. “It’s hard to say no to him. I mean, I’m going hiking.” There had been something about the expression in his blue eyes yesterday. Something sad. She hadn’t wanted to turn him down.
“Exactly. You’re going hiking. I called to offer you an out, but I’m not even being appreciated.”
“I appreciate you.” She pulled into the Holden driveway. “I just don’t need to be saved from this.”
“You’re never the one who needs to be saved.” Phoebe’s tone sounded dull.
Julia put her car in park and frowned at her steering wheel. “Is that such a bad thing?”
“It can feel a little lonely sometimes.” Phoebe’s voice was more hesitant than usual. “You’re always helping me. I want to return the favor.”
Julia’s stomach tightened.
“I could return it now. Things can’t be easy with all that work drama. Come over and we’ll bitch about everyone who called you a slut.”
She glanced at the Jeep she’d parked next to.
It was bright and cheerful, like the Jinx she was used to.
“I really can’t today, Phoebe. Sorry.” She listened to her friend huff.
“Besides, most of the slut-shaming has died down.” At least to her face it had, but that’s all that mattered to her.
“Work is going well. I like working for Charles. Thanks for that, by the way.”
Phoebe hesitated but then admitted, “I had nothing to do with it. That was all his idea.”
“Oh. Well, still, you must have told him what happened and—”
“I didn’t. He already knew, and he offered you the position on his own. Charles is good about stuff like that.” Phoebe made an annoyed sound in her throat. “Charles is the one on top of things, Jesse is the sweet do-gooder, and I’m the terrible mother ruining my kids’ lives.”
Julia frowned. “You’re not a terrible mother. What’s wrong with the kids?”
“If you came over here, I could escape for a bit and tell you.” Phoebe’s tone had that begging quality she did so well.
Julia’s gaze was pulled to the front door that Jinx opened. His smile was bright, like it used to be, and he lifted his hand in a wave.
“I really can’t today.”
“Fine.” Phoebe’s voice sounded flat again. “But today’s the only day this week that I can get free.”
“We’ll figure it out. We always do.” Time would pass between meetups, more than either of them liked, but they would get together and everything would feel like old times again. “I’ll call you later, after bedtime, and you can vent that way.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Phoebe hung up.
Julia frowned as she turned off the car. Gathering her phone and water bottle, she opened the door, finding Jinx there already, catching it to hold it wider.
“Hey,” he said, his smile chasing away her lingering unease.
“Hey yourself.” She glanced down at her feet. “All I had were sneakers, so I hope this hike isn’t one I need special shoes for.”
He laughed. “I know you too well for that, Jules. I wouldn’t do that to you. It’s just a walk in some trees, with a nice lake at the end to dip our feet in.”
The image felt peaceful, maybe even a little fun. Some of her tension eased. “That actually sounds nice.”
“Want to come in and say hi to my mom?” he asked, closing the car door for her.
“Of course.” Julia fell into stride with him as they headed toward the still open door.
“Your mom is one of my favorite people.” Mrs. Holden had been there for her when she was scared as a child, but trying not to be.
She’d lost Mr. Holden to an illness, back when Phoebe and Jinx were too young to remember, so she’d known what that kind of fear was like.
“She was excited when I told her we were hanging out today.” Jinx waved Julia through the door first, closing it behind them.
“Julia!” Mrs. Holden cried, coming in for a hug in the crowded entryway.
Julia hugged her back. “It’s nice to see you,” she said into her curly hair, which had more gray streaks than she remembered. It still smelled like suntan lotion, with that hint of coconut. The scent made Julia want to cling, but she forced herself to pull away.
Mrs. Holden’s hands lingered on Julia’s arms as she studied her face. She reached up and brushed a finger along her closely cropped hair. “I like the haircut.”
Julia laughed. “Oh, yeah. I chopped most of it off to get rid of the black.” She’d done it thinking her normal brown would make a better impression at her new job. What a joke. But she liked the short cut and now kept it trimmed for herself.
Her hands slid into the pockets of her black jeans. In the past, she would have dressed all in black, but she’d paired them with a white T-shirt, though the shirt had a black skull design made out of cats.
“You’re looking good.” Mrs. Holden led them toward the kitchen. “I was surprised when Jesse said he was dragging you out to where the bugs live.”
“Bugs?” Julia repeated, already feeling like something was crawling on her neck.
Jinx groaned. “Don’t mention the bugs, Mom!” He glanced at Julia. “Don’t worry, I already packed spray. It’s not that hot out yet, so it’ll be fine.”
“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Julia muttered.
Jinx’s face fell. “We don’t have to go.” He had that look he used to get, the one that made it obvious he was disappointed but trying to fit in with the big kids.
Julia shook her head. “I don’t back out of an agreement.” She held up a finger. “But you have one chance at this. We’ll go hiking this once, and if I hate it, never again.”
“That’s fair,” he agreed.
Mrs. Holden laughed. “I missed you two. When Jesse said you’d be coming here to meet him, I was so happy. I don’t see you and Phoebe as much anymore.”
Julia rubbed at her neck. “Yeah, I mainly go over to her place now that she has the two little ones.”
“Oh, I understand, and you’re great to do that for her. It’s hectic when you have two kids back-to-back like that.” Mrs. Holden smiled at her son. “I should know.”
“Please don’t call me your surprise baby again,” Jinx said.
Mrs. Holden laughed. “I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Now, don’t let me keep you two. Go enjoy the day.” She waved them off.
Jinx leaned down, kissing his mother’s cheek. “Thanks for breakfast.”
Julia said her own goodbye, finding her gaze lingering on the door while she buckled her seat belt in Jinx’s Jeep.
Jinx climbed in the driver’s side. “Thanks again for meeting me here.”
“It worked out. I got to see my favorite person in the world.”
“Hey, what about me?”
She pulled her gaze away from the door and grinned at him. “Do you really want to know your ranking?”
Jinx shook his head. “Please don’t tell me. It’s not safe to drive while crying.”
She laughed. “It’s not that bad.”
“Top ten?” he asked hopefully.
“Well, I have a big family.” She probably shouldn’t have enjoyed his crestfallen look. “How about in the top twenty? I mean, you ghosted me for four years.”
He flushed. “That’s fair.” His eyes met hers. “I really am sorry about that, Jules.”
She relaxed back into her seat, realizing the hurt that had been simmering for so long was loosening inside. “Well, you get to make up for it now. Onward toward the woods.” She waved at the windshield.
He smiled, putting the Jeep in gear and glancing in the rearview mirror.
“And on the way, explain about these bugs.”
Jinx let out a startled laugh, the dimple in his cheek that she’d almost forgotten about flashing. “It won’t be bad. I promise.”
As she listened to him ramble, she thought about how high up he really was in the bottom half of that twenty. Much closer to ten than she wanted to admit. Besides her family and his, she had very few people in her life.
It was nice to get one back.
J esse tried not to look at Julia too much while they sat on the big rock together and dangled their feet in the water.
He wondered if she remembered sitting with him like this before, back when they were kids.
Even then, the outdoors hadn’t been Julia’s favorite thing, but Phoebe begged her to come with them that summer.
Julia’s mom had been in the hospital, and Julia had sat here on this rock and looked out at the water.
For the first time in weeks, the tightness in her shoulders eased.
That was how she looked now. Leaned back on her hands, with her eyes closed and her face tilted up to catch the sunlight, she was so beautiful.
His fingers rested near hers as he mimicked her pose, but he kept glancing at her face, not at the scenery around them. He stared down at how close he was to touching her, an ache building in his stomach.
Julia saved his life in this spot during that summer as kids.
He’d been stepping onto the rock, something inside him wanting to be closer to her, when a dog ran up out of nowhere and lunged at his back.
He fell face forward, and his forehead smacked into the rock before he splashed into the lake.
Too stunned to swim, he’d immediately inhaled water, panicking as he floundered.