9. Chapter 8
J ulia opened her apartment door, leaning her shoulder against it while she studied her visitor.
Jinx shifted nervously. He wasn’t wearing scrubs like the Saturday before, but it was later than it’d been when they met up at the coffee shop. The sky, visible over the stairway railing, was darkening already.
“Glad you found the place.” She stepped back to give him room to enter.
“You chose the third floor?” He glanced toward the steps leading down before moving into the apartment, careful not to brush against her as he passed. His fingers twisted around each other while he took in the living room directly beyond the entryway.
“What can I say? I like to be on top.” Jinx flushed an adorable shade of pink, and she bit back a smile. “There can be a lot of stomping feet in lower apartments.”
“O-oh,” he stammered, swallowing.
She closed the door, moving past him close enough to almost touch. “Were you thinking I was talking about something else?”
The pink spread toward his neck. “Didn’t you want me to?”
She laughed. “Maybe.” Rounding the couch, she waved at it. “Come sit.” She sank into the green cushions. It was a two-seater, though the cushions were wide, giving room for more if they didn’t mind being close.
Jinx settled into the corner farthest from her. Her stomach sank. He’d asked to meet up in person to talk, and she doubted talking meant he’d decided to accept her offer. Jinx had come to let her down to her face, like the stand-up guy he was.
Julia was surprised by how disappointed she felt. It wasn’t like men hadn’t said no to her before. That just made room for her to find the next one.
Maybe she’d hunt for one who blushed just as prettily when she went out to pick someone up. It wasn’t likely to scratch the itch, though. They wouldn’t be Jinx.
She’d never had a thought like that before. Him turning her down might be for the best.
She curled her legs beneath her, the material of her silky, black lounge pants sliding along her skin as she leaned into the opposite corner of the couch to give him the space he seemed to need.
“It’s okay,” she murmured. Even her lowered voice made him tense up. “If your answer is ‘no, thanks,’ I can take it. I won’t push you.”
He licked his lips, his hands clenching in his lap. “Why do you think it’s a no?”
Her eyebrow lifted. “Am I wrong?”
He swallowed, staring down at his hands. “Phoebe came to talk to me.”
“Ah.” Julia’s finger slid over her knee. She hadn’t yet accepted the apology left on her voicemail. It had sounded strained and grudging. Phoebe apologized to smooth things over, not because she thought she’d said anything wrong. It was more of an ‘I’m sorry you’re upset’ type of apology.
“I’m not surprised she showed up. I texted you to let you know I’d told her.”
“No, I know. I expected you to tell her.” Jinx’s eyes lifted to hers. “You’re not one to shy away from confrontation.”
She snorted. She’d avoided multiple calls lately. “I told her so you wouldn’t have to. If we do this, I don’t want you to be ashamed of it.”
Jinx looked away, no longer meeting her eyes.
Julia’s chest squeezed tighter. “That’s why you don’t want to do it, isn’t it? She’s convinced you I’m the big, bad wolf.”
His eyes widened as they flew back to meet hers. “No. That’s not it.”
“It’s something, though.” Julia continued to study him, noting his renewed flush. “I’m sexual, Jinx. I have experience, and I’m not ashamed of it. Honestly, my body count is why I think this would work for you.”
“It’s not about numbers, though I don’t want to know the exact count. I’m nervous enough already.”
“Nervous, are you?” She turned her body more toward him. “So you’ve been thinking about it?”
“It’s all I think about. Being with you, it would be…” He shook his head, a curl flopping over his eye. “I don’t even know, but I wouldn’t be ashamed.” His eyes locked on hers. “I’d never be ashamed of you, Jules.”
She shifted her knees under her and braced her hands on the cushions to lean closer to him. “What’s holding you back, then?”
“I read the articles you sent, and I talked to the doctor, but I—” He swallowed, his blue eyes so gentle and filled with worry. “I’m still not sure. The risk is low, but it’s not zero.”
“Pretty damn close, as long as you’re not having an outbreak.”
His shoulders hunched. “I never want to be responsible for hurting you.”
“This isn’t on you. Your only responsibility is to let your partner know. They get to decide from there. I want to be with you, Jinx.” Her thin cotton shirt clung to her as she drew even closer.
His eyes closed, and his breath shuddered out. “I really want to be with you, too.”
Her skin felt almost too sensitized from his words.
“Fuck, I love hearing that,” she murmured.
With his body angled in the corner, she was hovering partially over his thighs, her hand moving across his body to rest near his hip.
“But we’re clear on this, right? This is just physical, and only this once. ”
His eyes slowly opened, widening when he realized how close she was. His gaze moved down to her mouth, and he swallowed as he nodded. “I know what this is. I understand you don’t want to date me.”
She shook her head. “Not you, Jinx. I don’t date.” She bit her lip. “I’ve only wanted someone more than one time once before, and it burned me, even if it was casual. Besides, we’re friends. Too much of the physical too often, and that might change.”
“Even with one time, I’ll remember it forever.” His hand came up, hovering near her cheek before cupping it.
Her chest squeezed, and her throat tightened. “Jinx, that’s not—” She swallowed, tilting her head into his hand. “Is it going to be too much? Tell me if doing this is going to hurt you. Like you said, I never want to be the one to hurt you.”
“I meant you’re going to be my first. My real first.” His fingers twitched against her face, making it tingle. “That’s what you said, right?”
She nodded, loving how her skin felt from his touch. It wasn’t a sexual touch, not really, but any touch from him already felt so good.
“And doesn’t everyone remember their first?”
She laughed. “Mine was in the back seat of a car. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t my best.”
“I think you’ll be my best,” he admitted.
She opened her mouth to deny it but then snorted. “I mean, I’m going to try my hardest. I want this to be good for you, Jinx. Good for us both.”
The nerves were back in his eyes as he looked away. “I won’t know what I’m doing.”
“That’s actually kind of sexy.” Like before, the idea of corrupting him, not just anyone, but Jinx, who was so pure and kind and shy, was tantalizing. She wanted to make him absolutely lose his mind. “I can’t wait to make you come.”
His blush flooded his skin all the way toward his ears. He swallowed, his pupils widening as he looked at her again. “I—” He swallowed again. “I want to learn how to make you feel good, too.”
“That’s perfect, because I’m going to teach you.” Her lips moved toward his ear. “I’m going to teach you all sorts of dirty things. Are you ready to learn?”
He shivered under her, his hand trembling a little where he continued to cup her face. “Julia…” He breathed out her name like a prayer.
Fuck, her body lit on fire when he said her full name like that. She pulled away enough to smile at him. She tilted her head more fully into his palm. “So, you want to do this? If you do, kiss me. You liked kissing me, didn’t you?”
His eyes dropped to her lips again. He lifted his other hand, cradling her face between both and tugging her forward.
Julia gladly followed his urging, wanting to continue hovering over him, just closer. Close enough to slide her body along his, though not yet. He wasn’t ready for that yet. He was still trembling.
Even his lips trembled as they met hers.
He brushed his mouth against hers, sharing a breath before parting and doing it all over again.
She let him lead, let him keep the kiss to just lips.
His became a little firmer with each pass.
His hands slid into her hair, cupping the back of her head as he drew her closer.
Julia let herself sink into the sensation.
Kissing Jinx was more soothing than exciting, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t sexy.
Every time their lips moved against each other’s, a thread of warm sensation built in her stomach before sinking lower.
She wanted to writhe against him, to find some friction to spike the desire higher, but she held herself still.
She focused on his hands in her hair, the tingles along her scalp.
His lips were still in control, devouring her slowly, so slowly, as if he needed to catalogue every millimeter of her lips and every slight change in pressure.
Warmth flooded her, one that wasn’t a quick flash of heat, but a slow absorption, like she was sinking into water.
Her arms trembled. The sensations had been a slow buildup that suddenly filled to overflowing. Her nipples tightened, already so close to his chest. She could sway forward, and they’d press against him.
She opened her eyes to find his closed, but not in a tight squeeze. No, his lashes fluttered against his cheeks as he sighed into her mouth, his body melting into the couch, as if he was the most content he’d ever been, just from kissing her.
She liked that. She liked that a lot. He trusted her, and knowing that felt precious.
Her lips parted. “I’m going to try a few things, okay? Just with our mouths. Nothing else.”
His eyes opened as his breath passed over her damp lips. “Am I not doing it right?”
“Your kiss has been perfect. There can just be even more perfection.” She licked her lips, but he was so close that her tongue slid across his bottom lip as well, and a shiver ran through him, his pupils dilating. “Like that. We can test if you like my tongue. Is that okay?”
“Yes.” Their lips brushed with the word.
She slid her tongue over his bottom lip, deliberately this time, and a broken sound escaped through his lips.
“Did you like that?” she asked to make certain she was interpreting the sound right.
“Yes,” he repeated.
“You’re doing so good,” she murmured, her mouth meeting his again.
Their lips clung for a moment as she stared into his eyes, and then she took the kiss deeper, slipping her tongue into his mouth.
When she stroked him, he shuddered again, his hands tightening in her hair for a better grip.
She wanted to plaster her chest against him, wrap her arms tight around his neck, and dive in.
Instead, she repeated the simple caress before parting their lips. “Just relax and feel. And if you want to, do what I’m doing.” She kissed him again. This time, their tongues tangled together.
His eyes closed, and he began to meet her stroke for stroke.
They really were devouring each other, but the pond of sensation inside had turned into a river, trying to sweep her away.
Her nipples ached, and her clit throbbed.
She wanted to drag his legs onto the couch and writhe all along his body, but not if she had to stop kissing him first.
His head tipped back a little, changing the angle, making it even more perfect. Were they even breathing anymore? Did they need to when there was this? Lips and mouths and tongues, each caress becoming more, becoming the center of her world.
He broke the kiss for a gasp of air, his eyes opening, heavy and dazed, the pupils blown wide.
“So you like that. What about this?” She nipped lightly at his bottom lip.
Jinx moaned from the sensation, and she grinned.
“So, good?”
He nodded, his head bumping against hers even as his grip on her pulled her in for another kiss.
She leaned into him, letting out her own groan when her chest brushed against his, her nipples teased into tighter points.
She couldn’t prevent a little love bite of appreciation, and he moaned again, his grip keeping their chests close enough to touch.
Each small writhe of her body sent the ache in her nipples straight to her clit, ramping up her neediness. Her hands found the back of his head, tilting it so she could lick inside him better, wanting to get enough of his taste that she could cling to it for days.
His hands moved from her head to around her back, shifting her more on top of him almost unconsciously. She arched into him, wishing their shirts were off so she could feel his skin against her naked nipples.
They broke for air again, with her doing most of the panting this time. “Want more?”
His lips found hers, sinking them both down into sensation for long minutes. He nipped her bottom lip this time, making her groan.
“Fuck, I like that. I want more. Not just kisses.” She gave him a swift, firm one to show she liked them well enough. “I want you to touch me, Jinx. Do you want that?”
His hands slid over the thin cotton covering her back. “Where? How?” He didn’t seem capable of full sentences anymore, which added more heat inside her. She’d done that to him just from kissing.
She pulled slightly away, and his hands loosened to let her. Her hands found the hem of her shirt, and she pulled it over her head.
His eyes dropped to her breasts, and he licked his lips. His reaction was so tempting. She wanted to press her nipple against his lips and order him to suck.
Her breasts weren’t the largest things ever. They hung enough to sway when she moved, and the nipples were a darker shade of pink than her lips.
She reached for his hands, moving them to her chest so that her tightened nipples stabbed into his palms. “Here. Touch me here.”
His hands molded around her breasts gently, testing their weight. When she pressed closer, his palm shifted, tweaking her and sending another bolt down to her clit.
“That’s it. Touch me, Jinx,” she encouraged, leaning down so she could kiss his jaw, watching as his lips tried to chase hers, wanting them back on his.
His hands cupped her, his thumbs brushing over her nipples, the pressure better than his palms, but still so gentle.
“My nipples are needy. They like to be pinched.” Her hands settled over his, widening his fingers so her nipples were caught between them, loving his hands on her.
She pushed his fingers together, showing him how hard she liked it and groaning at how good it felt.
“That’s it. You can pinch and tug all you want.
” Her mouth found his, her teeth nipping at his lip and making him shudder.
“Make me feel good while I kiss the hell out of you.”
She dove in again, giving him the filthiest kiss yet. Her tongue stroked into him with all the pent-up excitement she was feeling as she pressed her naked chest hard into his hands.