18. Chapter 17
W hen the nurses wheeled the patient out of sight, Julia turned to the instruments they had used. She’d already finished her count, ensuring none were missing after the surgery, and began the process of sterilizing the room.
She preferred when the surgeries were minor enough that they could be handled at Dr. Holden’s private practice, but this one had been more involved than that.
Charles worked with the hospital fairly regularly, but her stomach still cramped whenever she joined him there for a procedure.
Luckily, she was mostly ignored now. Charles didn’t put up with behavior that might interfere with his job and had made examples of anyone causing issues early on.
She was embarrassed at first—it shouldn’t have even been necessary—but now she was grateful. Charles had always been a little protective, but he’d kept it no-nonsense and strictly professional. She tried to think of him as Dr. Holden while they worked together.
He hadn’t once mentioned her date with Jinx this week, and she was relieved by that, too. She’d been thinking about it way too much for something that would never happen again.
Normally, there’d be more than her and the housekeeping staff to clean the room, but the nurses were delayed getting back, and she fell behind. The cynical side of her wondered if the nurses were avoiding her, but they acted professional when they finally rejoined the team.
Dr. Holden had one more surgery scheduled for that afternoon, and there was still plenty of time. He was lefthanded, so she liked to arrive early enough to organize the surgical tools the way he preferred.
Her mind was ticking off the internal checklist in her head when she exited the surgical room, and she drew up short to avoid running into someone.
“Excuse me,” she murmured to the doctor, still distracted. She internally scolded herself. She had already gone over everything twice that day. There was no need to do it again.
“Oh, I don’t mind,” the doctor replied.
She blinked when he paused, lifting an eyebrow when he didn’t continue on. It was Dr. Anderson, she realized and bit back a sigh. He was another surgeon with longevity at the hospital.
“It’s Julia, isn’t it? Julia Caldwell? You work with Dr. Holden.”
“That’s correct,” she said, resigned to the speculation in his eyes. She moved forward a step, hoping he’d let her pass. “If you’ll excuse me.”
To her relief, he took the hint, stepping aside and gesturing for her to go. She didn’t expect him to settle in beside her and tried to tamp down the acid building in her stomach.
“I didn’t realize Dr. Holden was scheduled today. He sings your praises.”
Despite the wariness, she felt a flicker of warmth. “I’m glad. He’s a good doctor to work with.”
They’d reached the end of the hall. When she rounded the corner, he moved in closer, his arm lifting in front of her to trap her against the wall.
“Dr. Rutherford gives you high praise, too.” Dr. Anderson leaned in closer, his breath too warm against her cheek and smelling of tartar sauce. “He said you’re the hottest piece of ass he’s ever fucked. I wouldn’t mind a taste of that.”
“Back off!” she said, not lowering her voice at all. She stared at the gold wedding band on the hand blocking her in.
He flexed his ring finger. “Don’t pretend that me wearing a ring bothers you.”
Tempted to punch him right in the face, she ducked under his arm instead, walking away. “I’m reporting you for sexual harassment,” she called back, hating that it probably looked like she was running from him.
“That’s what I get for trying to be nice to you!
” he shouted after her. “Did you hear that?” She glanced back to see him talking to the nurses who had been sanitizing the operating room with her.
“All I did was mention how Dr. Holden praised her work, and then she’s accusing me of sexual harassment. ”
Julia bit her lip to hold in the names she wanted to call him and continued down the hall.
When she caught up to Charles in his temporary shared office, he took one look at her face and stood. “I’ll walk down with you.”
She hesitated, her hands clenching at her sides. “You remember what they said last time, don’t you?” She’d made multiple reports, and the HR representative had told her there was only one commonality between the incidents, and they’d have to consider what that meant.
Charles reached past her shoulder, holding open the door. “I know you too well to believe that would stop you from reporting it.”
Her hands unclenched and she buffed her arms. “If they’re doing it to me, they’re likely doing it to other women.” She turned, exiting first. “Reporting it is the right thing to do.”
Charles fell into step beside her. He didn’t say anything as he pressed the button for the elevator.
She glanced up at his face. Normally he was smiling, but he never smiled in moments like this.
When the doors opened, she followed him inside, giving the two nurses already standing in there enough room. “Is this causing problems for you?” she asked quietly, studying his face again.
The nurses grew silent, glancing their way.
“You let me worry about that,” Charles said.
She swallowed, staring at the next floor that lit up. “If—”
“No, Julia. You’re the best surgical technician I’ve had, and you’re only going to get better with more experience.” His smile flashed this time as he stared down at her. “I’m lucky to have hired you.”
She blinked back the heat in her eyes. “Okay,” she managed to say, glad when the doors opened. She’d stayed professional so far, and she wasn’t going to let someone treating her kindly break that.
J ulia finished sending off a message to her sisters about her shitty day when Jinx’s text notification popped up.
‘Do you want to hang out tonight?’
Imagining a smiling Jinx helped cool some of her frustration. They hadn’t seen each other since Sunday, though they’d been chatting back and forth all week. Nice and friendly.
‘Just as friends,’ he sent a second later, as if he thought she was worried about it.
He hadn’t pushed her about her one-time rule at all. She was the one who, the night before, had considered sexting him. What would he look like if she told him she’d pictured him while she used her favorite vibrator to get off? More than once.
She’d had daydreams about some of the guys she’d fucked before. Imagining scenarios while masturbating was natural and didn’t have to mean anything.
It was her own problem that just the thought of him made her toes curl even as it eased the knot in her stomach.
‘I’m not good company tonight,’ she responded. ‘Had a crappy day.’
She flipped to the chat with her sisters. Only Maria had responded, telling her she had handled the situation at work well and that she was sure things would get better soon.
Julia let the phone go dark. She wasn’t as optimistic as her sister, but that was nothing new. Maria was on a different level, to the point Julia worried her sister would get beaten down by the world. She should ask her about that guy again.
She didn’t. Instead, she curled on her side on the couch and stared at the TV’s blank screen. She got like this sometimes. The pills she’d been prescribed helped, but it didn’t take away the bad days completely.
Her phone vibrated near her hand, then repeated. She flipped it over, assuming Jinx was the one calling and already sitting up to take it.
That it was Phoebe retightened the knot in her stomach. She sighed, decided the evening couldn’t get any worse, and answered.
“Hey, Feebs.”
“Not avoiding me this time?” Phoebe asked, her voice including a snap of frustration.
“Did you call to slut-shame me again?” Julia asked, sinking back down on the couch for this conversation.
Phoebe sucked in an audible breath, then released it. “I didn’t mean it to come out that way. But come on, Jules, you sleep with a lot of guys.”
“It doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with anyone, though.” She got around, but she had standards on how she should be treated. The minute a guy broke them, she sent him packing.
Even John had treated her with respect at the time. It wasn’t until afterward that she realized what a prick he was. Especially if he was telling all the other doctors she was an easy lay. She wasn’t easy. She just actively pursued what she wanted.
“Maybe not anyone, but your experience is ridiculous. Did you really expect me to be happy you wanted to add my brother to your numbers?”
“No. I guess not.” She kind of had, though. Phoebe knew her. She would have said that Phoebe knew her better than anyone. Now, she wasn’t so sure. “You should know I’d never do anything to hurt him, though.”
“Not on purpose, no, and… I get it now. Jesse told me about—” Phoebe cleared her throat before trying again. “Well, that he had… you know.”
“Herpes.” Julia said out loud, listening to Phoebe’s silence after. “It’s not a death sentence. It’s actually fairly common. They say about one in six adults—”
“Please don’t spout off statistics. Charles already made me read articles about it.”
“Did you say something to Jinx?” Julia suddenly wished she’d invited him over after all.
“Not on purpose!” Phoebe defended, making Julia’s heart sink. “I just never paid attention to this stuff. Kyle and I lost our virginity together, so I didn’t need to.”
Her friend had reminded her of that often over the years, almost like she was bragging. Phoebe had found the one for her early on, and Julia was happy for her, but it wasn’t the only path.
“That’s part of what’s been behind my unhappiness lately. Sometimes I worry that I—” Phoebe broke off, and Julia heard a door shut. “Well, that I settled,” her friend whispered through the phone.
“Are things not good between you and Kyle?” Julia had a hard time believing it. Her friend’s husband thought the sun rose and set with her at the center.
“He’s wonderful! I’m lucky, I know that. It’s not about him at all. I just keep thinking that there’s so much out there that I didn’t try.”