12. Deck
Chapter twelve
Deck
PRESENT DAY
I got back to my house intending to go right to sleep. Still in my clothes, I lay down, but my mind wouldn’t rest. Around ten a.m., I admitted defeat and dragged myself into the kitchen. Coffee and leftover adrenaline could get me through until that evening.
In my living room, I stared at the space on the couch where Cori had sat. My new reality settled in.
After all my efforts to keep my distance, with one ring of a doorbell, she was back in my life.
Dios , she’d been amazing going after her brother. Even wide-eyed in that shitty house, terrified and stepping around needles, she hadn’t allowed the fear to take hold.
Her keeping steady wasn’t surprising. She wasn’t loud or rowdy when we were kids, but she’d always been tough, not to mention strategic about planning her future.
She’d gotten a decent education in our armpit of a public school, utilized every opportunity at the Center, and stayed out of trouble without making herself a target.
At least not until Chi-chi found her.
Unwanted, a picture came to my mind. That night, she’d been fighting back. I shook the image away. I had to stay focused on the present.
On the here and now, where I needed to keep Cori at arm’s length.
I had held myself together while we searched for Johnny.
But once the rush of getting him out of that house wore off, and she’d asked me to stay with her at the hospital, I hadn’t known how to behave.
I’d barely talked. Paced a hole into the floor.
Memorized the contents of the vending machines.
Been a pendejo about exchanging numbers.
Anything to avoid the way she drew me in like a magnet.
After tying my boots, I went outside to finish planting the maple, a bizarre task considering the previous twenty-four hours. I took another shower afterward, coming out to find two texts from Cori letting me know I’d need to pretend to be her husband at the hospital to visit Johnny.
ME: Got it. I’m your husband.
Mierda .
I knew interacting with her brother would eventually bring Cori back into my life. But even with that, I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I’d been helpless with Eliazar. I couldn’t stand by and do nothing while Johnny went down the same road.
Still, I needed to handle myself better than I had in that waiting room.
My daily emotional cocktail of anger, shame, and regret assaulted my senses, making my blood run hot. Thanks to a year’s worth of mostly-crap court-ordered therapy, I knew I needed to talk this whole situation out with someone or risk putting my fist through a wall.
Usually, discussing things with my parents or my brother Emilio worked fine. They’d never wavered in their support, even while I was inside. But on this topic, my family was not an option.
Mamá and Pop knew I’d been back in touch with Johnny.
They were almost as worried about him as I was and had been hounding me for months to reach out to Cori.
So had Emilio. They warned me she had thrown up a wall between herself and the neighborhood after her mom died, but I hadn’t realized the contact had been completely nonexistent until yesterday.
“Cori doesn’t blame you or Johnny for what happened to her,” Mamá said to me only a month ago. “Why would she? That’s why she wrote the statement for the court.”
“It doesn’t matter what she wrote. It was my fault. Whether or not she sees that makes no difference.”
“That makes no sense, mijo . You helped her.”
“I’m the reason she was in that situation in the first place!”
Mamá scoffed. We’d had this conversation so many times. I knew she was tired of arguing with me. But her refusal to acknowledge the truth wouldn’t change my mind.
Cori’s bruised body and the bloody, torn panties on her bed—these images were my constant companions, even so many years later.
“Look, Artie,” Mamá said, “You not reaching out to Cori isn’t you protecting her.
It’s punishing her. Once she finds out you’ve been back and talking to Johnny this whole time, without even bothering to let her know, she’s going to be hurt.
We all remember you two were getting closer before that night.
I’m sure you being gone is one reason she cut ties with the neighborhood and everyone here.
But Rosa said she saw her at the mall a few months ago, that she’s looking for her way back.
Besides, if you’re going to do anything for Johnny, you and Cori are going to need to work together. ”
Mamá had been right. And not just about Johnny needing us both.
I hadn’t intentionally tried to hurt Cori by keeping my distance.
My memories of that night were bad enough, so I could only imagine what haunted her.
Seeing me and dredging it all up would not be good for anyone.
And despite what Mamá thought, or even what Cori believed, it was my fault.
Because I was the reckless one who brought so much pain into the lives of everyone I loved.
I exhaled heavily as I contemplated my phone. There was no way my family could be objective about Cori and me reconnecting.
But my fists were still itching, and since I wasn’t in the mood to repair drywall, I reached out to the one person I could always talk to.
ME: Meet for a beer tonight?
JUAN: Something up? Or just thirsty?
ME: Need to talk
ME: Johnny almost died
JUAN: WTF?
ME: He’s okay. I think. Going to hospital now
ME: Also you were right about the borrowed time
The three dots appeared and disappeared a few times before Juan’s next text came through. But of course, he knew me better than anyone.
JUAN: Cori?
ME: Yeah
JUAN: It was bound to happen
ME: I know
JUAN: 7 tonight? Tubby’s?
ME: See you there
A way-too-cheerful nurse took me back to a private room, where I found Cori sitting on a rolling stool next to Johnny.
She held his hand loosely to avoid disturbing the IV in his arm.
He seemed half awake, head lolled over to the side.
A sheet covered his shirtless torso to just above the waist. I did a double take at the sight of his body since it was usually hidden beneath an oversized hoodie.
Everything about him looked sunken—his closed eyes, the hollows of his neck, the cavity of his chest. Cuts and bruises in various shades of yellow, purple, and blue marked his splotchy gray skin.
He was so thin, practically a skeleton. The muscles of his arms stuck out, looking like knotty ropes.
While carrying him out of that house the day before, I’d simply been grateful he was alive. Seeing him like this, I realized what an absolute miracle it was that he hadn’t died.
I glanced at Cori. The same horror I felt was written all over her face.
But of course, her emotions weren’t stopping her from getting shit done.
“Hey, babe,” she said, reaching out a hand and raising her eyebrows at me. “Thanks for checking on the cat. How was your nap?”
I looked at her with a puzzled expression. She hitched her neck at the wall, which was actually just a thin curtain.
“Uh, good,” I stammered. “Bastardo says hello.”
She patted a stool next to her. I sat.
Cori leaned in and whispered, “Look, Deck, I know this is a lot, but I wasn’t sure what to do.
I thought I could just have you play my husband today to get you back here, but apparently, one of the nurses needed to make a thing.
So I had to put your name on some forms, and you’re now officially listed as Johnny’s brother-in-law.
I also added you as an emergency contact, after me. I hope that’s okay.”
“Yeah…um, yeah, I’m happy to do that. I want to help.”
“I know you do. Whatever’s going on in your head right now, I know you love Johnny,” she stated plainly. “I don’t want to be the only one listed for him, just in case something goes wrong and I’m not available, or someone needs to decide… You get it.”
I nodded.
“It shouldn’t be a big deal. Just remember we’re married and you live in Seattle with me.
I doubt they’ll notice much beyond that.
Although with how that one nurse was giving me the stink-eye, she may ask us to produce a marriage license.
” At my look of panic, she groaned. “I’m kidding, Deck, jeez.
If it comes to anything like that, I’ll come clean. For now, we’re good, right?”
“Sure,” I mumbled, feeling the heat of her knee inching close to mine.
“Cori?” Johnny’s eyes fluttered open as his voice croaked. “Deck?”
“We’re here, Johnny—” Cori started at the same time I said, “Hey, Bro.”
His eyes bounced back and forth between the two of us. “’Bout time you two were in the same room,” he ground out slowly, his words a hoarse whisper. “I told Deck it was a dick move to—”
Johnny stopped speaking abruptly as his face turned green and his chest began rising and falling rapidly.
I realized what he needed just in time to grab a small plastic tub nearby, coming around to the other side of his bed so I could help him lean over and retch into it, taking care not to tug on the IV or other wires taped to his chest. What came up was nasty, and Johnny’s shoulders shook with his efforts.
It took a minute for him to finish and roll back against his upright mattress.
He ended the episode by spitting a few times into the tub.
Cori produced a tiny cup of water, which he used to rinse out his mouth before also spitting that into the container.
The room immediately reeked with the acrid smell of vomit.
Cori placed the tub on the floor and pushed it as far toward the door as it could go without actually being in the hallway.
She and I moved our stools to opposite sides of Johnny’s bed. His eyes closed again, but I didn’t think he’d gone back to sleep. Cori balanced her head in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees.