Chapter 21
Two months later
I smile widely as I read the text on my phone. I’m so in love with this man; I was stupid not to see how deeply his loss affected me. I think back to the time when I hopped on the bus to go to him to have the long-overdue discussion. It was a Saturday, and sleeping wasn’t in the cards.
I dressed casually, hoping that he wouldn’t find my simple white shorts and a clingy yellow polo shirt, too provocative. The bus was the easiest way to go though I could have taken the train. I wanted to have the option to get off at the next stop if I chickened out. Several times I wanted to bail on the whole thing. Head back to my apartment and immerse myself in other people’s reality on television.
But I needed to be an adult. It’s what I had been aiming for the past few years of my life. I was no longer a dependent child; I was an independent woman. I needed this relationship to work if he would have me. I knew that the hurt I caused might prevent him from ever seeing me in the same light as before. I just had to hope.
When I got off the bus, I stopped before going inside, taking a few deep breaths to steel me for the conversation I was about to have. This would make or break us if he would even forgive me.
I headed through the door, nodding at the men at the front desk. When I got inside the elevator, I punched in the code and felt that tickly feeling as the elevator ascended to the penthouse. I was unannounced, and when the doors opened, Jordan’s eyes widened as I walked out.
He was sitting on the barstool at the large granite island, indulging in what looked like the last of the whiskey. I recognized the bottle and wondered if it was the same that he previously had drunk from, or this was new. He looked ragged. Dark circles underlined his eyes like a smudge. His face looked as if it had aged in the week since I last saw him. His clothing of sweats and a tank top were wrinkled, his blonde hair a tousled, sexy mess.
“What do you want? Come to claw at my heart some more?” he growled.
I stopped short at his tone. He was angry, and I was reticent to continue. My response was to run as my adrenaline kicked in. Leave this man to his own devices. It was apparent that he had nothing left to give, or he just didn’t care.
“I’m sorry. This was a mistake,” I turn to leave. He wasn’t going to forgive me.
“You came here for a reason. I’m waiting.”
I keep my back to him, “You aren’t interested. I shouldn’t have come here.”
I press the button on the elevator and hear the scrape of his stool on the floor. I can see his approach in the steel of the elevator, but I don’t turn. I’m defeated. He’s so close that I can feel his body heat rolling off him in waves. Jordan gently pulls back my hair, his warm liquor laced breath against my ear.
“Why did you come?” he whispers seductively .
“I wanted to talk,” I quietly say.
“I’m listening.”
The elevator dings, and the door opens. I stand there, and Jordan reaches around me to press the button. It closes as he takes my hand in his, leading me to the living room couch.
“Talk to me, Emma. Why are you here?”
“I. We need to talk.”
“You already said that. What should we talk about? How you ignored my texts and phone calls, begging you for an explanation? How you twisted my emotions so much that the last week has been hell on earth for me? So what would you like to discuss?”
“All of it. I jumped to conclusions. I didn’t understand. I was confused and hurt. You’re not the only one who has lived a hell on earth this past week.”
The tears start to fall from my eyes, staining my shirt. Jordan uses the tail of his tank top to dry them, but it’s no use, I can’t stop. All the pain of our separation comes rushing forth until my head is buried in his lap, and he’s stroking my hair.
“Silly, Emma. Don’t you know what you mean to me? I should have told you everything I was doing in LA. I own a piece of the production company that produced Feral.”
“But you didn’t call me. I took that as you didn’t want me anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Doll. I was involved in business negotiations all week. I’m trying, I really am. I’m learning how to be a boyfriend. I need you to understand. I would never cheat on you.”
“I was so hurt when I saw the pictures of you kissing Natalie.”
“Those were from two years ago. Those gossip sites try to create drama where none exists. They’ve already received a letter from my attorney. Natalie was none too happy since Pedro Gonzalez saw them also. She had her own explaining to do. We’re friends and colleagues, that is all.”
“I don’t want any secrets between us, Jordan. I told you that we barely know each other, and this proves it. ”
He strokes my hair, bending to plant a soft kiss on my cheek, “I need to tell you something if we’re being honest.”
I spring up from his lap and stare at him, “What?”
“I purchased the building you live in.”
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t trust the security there. I was worried about you.”
“So you bought it to spy on me,” I accuse.
“No. I bought it so I could keep you safe. I ordered the renovations to the lobby, including the twenty-four-hour desk and the doorman. I wanted you to be safe, especially with Nathaniel away.”
Now is as good a time to tell him about Nathaniel as any, “I won’t be living with Nate any longer.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I went to the Hamptons to visit him. That’s where I was the weekend that you were looking for me. Nathaniel is in love with me and has been for some time.”
“And?”
“I told him no. I ran from him. I didn’t handle it well, and neither did he. I haven’t heard from him in days. He’s hurt. I don’t know what to do, but I do know I can’t live with him any longer.”
“Unless you want to be with him.”
“I can’t be with him when I’m still in love with you. I love you, Jordan.”
He crosses his arms and looks at me while a smile dances on his lips.
“So, you’re in love with me? It sounds like a personal problem.”
I gape at him until he starts laughing. It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in days.
“You’re a jerk.”
“But I’m your jerk. I love you too, Emma. I’ve been waiting for you. Albert confessed he talked to you. I was angry that he did that. I wanted you to come to me on your own accord, not be pressured by him. ”
“I was going to come to you; I just needed time. I’m sorry I took so long.”
Jordan intently stares at me, his blue eyes darken. I know he wants to say something to me.
“Kiss me, doll.”
My belly clenches with the anticipation of my lips touching his. When I hesitate, he pulls me onto his lap and gives me a bruising kiss. There is hunger and passion as his lips lock with mine. His hot tongue spears into my mouth, curling around my own. My core instantly floods. Jordan, as if knowing, slides his hand down my shorts. His fingers roughly search for my cleft, and his eyebrows raise as he touches my wetness. I crave him.
“So wet, so fast.”
My waistband is tight, and I work to open my button and zipper to relieve the strain. Jordan withdraws his hand and mouth from my own, standing with me in his arms. He hurries to the bedroom, placing me down on the floor near the dresser.
“Strip,” he orders.
I don’t question as my emotions and desire have taken over. I quickly take off my clothing until I’m standing naked. He’s removed his shirt, and I can see that he’s lost weight. I feel my guilt rise. Jordan senses my disdain.
“Don’t Emma. It’s over.”
He yanks down his sweatpants and kicks them away, “Look in the mirror.”
As I do, Jordan reaches around and begins to rub my clit. His other hand splays against my stomach, holding me to him. I bend my head back against his chest, and he marks me with his teeth. My climax is coming fast.
“Watch me make you come.”
I look in the mirror as my body begins to vibrate with my impending orgasm, and I release, calling his name.
“I needed that. ”
“And I need this. Put your hands flat on the dresser and lean forward.”
I do as he asks. He takes his knee and uses it to spread my legs. He kisses my back, leaving a searing trail. Jordan kneels, and more than gently bites each cheek of my ass, than he stands again.
“Ready, doll?”
“I’ve been ready for two weeks,” I pant.
His cock pushes through my slickness, teasing me. I push my hips back against him, but he’s not going to give me what I want that easily. He withdraws, and I whimper. His hand circles my neck, and he pushes my chin up. Jordan leans over my shoulder and again marks me with his teeth, then kisses the teeth impressions.
“I’ve branded you. You’re mine. Say it.”
“I’m yours.”
“Tell me what you want?”
“You.”
“What do you want, Emma.”
“Fuck me,” I beg.
Jordan thrusts hard, and he’s inside me. He pulls me back until I’m bent at the waist then grasps my hips, his nails digging into my flesh. I close my eyes as he fills me, stretching my tender tissue.
“I love that tight pussy of yours, how I missed it. How I missed you.”
He keeps one hand on my hip and the other pinches my nipples, rolling them between his thumb and index finger. It makes me clench around him, and I hear him hiss, then he once again sinks his teeth into my shoulder.
Jordan pumps hard inside me, slowing until he’s just rocking against me.
“Doll, I’m sorry,” he says, breathing hard against my back.
“For what?”
He slams into me once, twice, and he loses control as he comes. It’s never-ending it seems as he fills me with his creamy cum. I can feel it coating my inner thighs, and I wonder if he’s orgasmed since we were last together or he was saving it once he was inside me again.
“For this. I couldn’t stop. Forgive me.”
Jordan releases his grip and slides out, spinning me so that I’m pressed against his sweat misted chest.
“You came a lot. More than ever before.”
“I haven’t had sex in two weeks.”
“Jordan, I’m sorry I did what I did.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s done. The slate is clean.”
We made love several more times that day and night. I moved in with Jordan two weeks later. It was the best time in my life and also one of the worst. I had to break Nathaniel’s heart, and in the end, our friendship shattered. I hurt the one man that would give his life for me until Jordan came along.
Two months later and I still feel horrible about seeing the look on his face. Albert had driven Jordan and me to Southhampton the next weekend after we got back together.
Jordan had wanted to come with me when I spoke with Nathaniel, but I told him it would be counterproductive. If I had any chance of salvaging my relationship with my best friend, I had to do it on my own. I met Nate at a small coffee shop in town.
He smiled at me, and when he embraced me, I thought everything would be alright. I was wrong. He poured his heart out to me; every emotion he had during the three years he had known me was laid on the table. Nate argued for why he would make a better mate than Jordan.
My stomach tightened with the knowledge that he was fighting for a relationship that would never happen. I was in love with Jordan, and that wasn’t going to change. I loved Nate too, but it was like the love for a brother. A different time, a different place, and maybe we would have had a chance .
I took a deep breath and let it all come out. I told him about my reconciliation with Jordan and how much I loved him. The look of betrayal on Nate’s face nearly tore me to shreds. Tears brimmed in his eyes when he told me I was destroying the best thing that would never be. He left me sitting there as he walked out the door.
My only communication with him since then has been through my family and Angelica. My sisters became his sisters when we became friends. They loved him the way I did, but he didn’t want the only kind of love I could give.
Jordan tried to talk sense into him when I spent the following days after crying myself dry. They almost came to blows. Jordan hired people to pack up my things and move me from my apartment into the penthouse. The wound is still open, but it’s healing slowly. I wish things could have been different.
You should work for me. We would never leave the Ballard
I do work for you. What would be the fun in that? We have to be apart sometime.
Technically you do work for me but not in my building. Maybe I should move Scarborough Publishing over here.
I’m barely ten blocks away.
Ten blocks is ten blocks too many. Suppose I want some of what we had this morning ?
Jordan had awakened me with his mouth between my legs at barely five this morning. It’s my fault for going to bed naked. Not that panties are any kind of barrier for Jordan Grayson. He’s a man that gets what he wants, even me.
I’m already suffering from sleep deprivation. I need an afternoon nap.
Come to the Ballard, and we can take one together.
If we take one together, sleep will not be on the menu; I will.
Can’t blame a guy for trying. I love you, doll.
I love you too, Jordan.
Today is Friday, and Jordan told me to come straight home. He has a surprise for me. He’s all that I need. I don’t need gifts or expensive clothing. I just need him.
I tell Angie goodbye and head out into the warm September evening. Soon, it will be getting chilly. I’m glad that I don’t have far to go each day to get to and from work. Albert frequently offers to drive me the ten blocks, but I decline. I need the exercise with all the gourmet food Jordan is spoiling me with. Maybe when the colder weather comes on, I’ll change my mind.
I enter the Ballard and press the code for the penthouse. The elevator zips up to the top floor. When I step out, I call for Jordan but get no response. I know he’s home because his briefcase is sitting on the table in the foyer. I start hunting for him and find a small white box on the granite counter marked with the word, Clue . Inside is a note, “Go where the books are.” It has to be the library above the living room. I go up the steel stairs and find another box marked Clue . On the table. Inside, another note, “I would be nothing without my workouts.” I raise my eyebrow at this one but think it means his exercise room.
Another clue that leads me to his office and yet another that leads me to the patio. Outside, Jordan is seated on the dark wicker furniture, waiting next to the roaring fireplace. Two glasses of champagne, a silver platter of chocolate-dipped strawberries, and another slightly larger white box sit on the table.
“Thank you for the treasure hunt. The prize is well worth it.”
I take a seat next to him, and he picks up the box from the table, handing it to me.
“What’s this?”
“Read what’s inside.”
I open the box and take out what looks like a folded business card made out of ivory cardstock. On it, in Jordan’s generous script is a note that reads:
You’ve shared a journey of love with me for the past three months. Now let’s take that journey together for a lifetime.
Is he asking me to marry him? I look over, and Jordan has an open black velvet box in his hand. Nestled in a lining of white satin sits a massive seven carat Asscher cut diamond in a platinum setting. I’m speechless.
“Doll, will you be my wife?”
“Um... ”
Jordan throws his head back and laughs, “My dear Emma has nothing to say?”
He removes the ring from the box and holds it out for me to slip on my finger. It’s perfect and much larger than I would have ever chosen for myself.
“I’ll ask again. Will you do me the pleasure of becoming my wife?”
“Yes, a million times, yes.”
“Once would be enough, but I’ll take a million times too.”
It’s taken me twenty-five, almost twenty-six years to find my prince, the other half of my heart, and I didn’t need to kiss too many frogs.
The End