37. CHAPTER 37
I sit Jin on the end of the air mattress in the back of my truck.
I fist his hair and crane his head back. I lick and kiss his neck; feeling his veins pulse against my tongue.
"Get naked," I tell him, then turn on the heated blanket that's been covering the mattress since I inflated it before dinner.
I walk to the driver's door and reach inside the cab to turn on the internal light. Peering through to the covered truck bed, I watch Jin—now partially illuminated—as he rids his body of all the clothes that have been keeping him from me.
My jacket and hoodie are off by the time I'm back behind the truck, and I toss them onto the pile Jin has already made.
I kick off my boots and stand on top of them while I take off my pants, then I climb onto the mattress with Jin.
I pull up the tailgate and lock the back window into place.
I run my hand up the outside of his bare leg; covered in goosebumps from the cold.
I crawl over him.
He looks so small, just like he always does.
He reaches up to link both hands behind my neck, then kisses me.
He's so worked up. So hungry.
I've been denying us both all day. Ever since he sat in my lap on the drive here I've not been able to get these thoughts out of my head. Of what I'm about to do—if he'll let me.
I kiss down his neck to his chest until I'm kneeling between his parted legs.
I reach to the side of the mattress and to the toiletries bag.
The one I brought.
The one I packed.
Taking the bottle of lube, I squeeze some onto my fingers.
After bending one of Jin's legs, I circle his rim then sink two fingers inside him.
He moans, and it sounds so good. Like the only thing I ever need to hear. Like forever.
I kiss his stomach and chest. His neck. His lips.
"I wanna play with you," I tell him, and his eyes flutter.
He hums with a half hearted nod, so I withdraw my fingers and trace a slick line up his torso.
"No, Little One. I wanna play with you."
"I wanna play with you, too."
"Oh, really? So what did you bring?"
Jin's eyes widen. "What are you talking about?"
I kneel back up and repeat myself. "What did you bring?"
He sits up too. "I didn't bring anything. I…"
He looks around, confused, until I tell him, "Look in the bag."
Tentatively he looks towards the toiletries bag sitting on the edge of the mattress, then back at me. I nod for him to go on , and watch as he drags it towards him—his face filing through ten different expressions before he finally, sheepishly, raises his head.
"There's two."
"I told you there'd be two."
Jin throws himself at my chest like he's scared.
"So can I play with you?"
His forehead rubs against my chest.
I raise his chin so he'll look at me.
"Say it, Little One."
"I want you to play with me. I want you to use those on me so I'm nice and ready for you."
I growl down at him, "You're so fucking perfect," and kiss him before pushing him back to the mattress.
He makes that little squeaking noise that drives me insane every goddamn time he does it, then bites his bottom lip.
I force him onto his stomach, and without needing to say a word he raises his ass in the air, putting himself in the exact position I'd imagined him in last Christmas.
"Such a good boy," I tell him, and grope one of his ass cheeks while I kiss the other.
Taking the metallic purple vibrator, I squeeze some lube onto it.
The second it makes contact with Jin's rim, it puckers and his back arches—forcing his ass higher.
I circle his rim, spreading around the lube.
His body is shaking.
It's cute how desperate he is.
"You ready?"
When Jin nods, I push the tip into his hole and watch it sink a few inches before stopping, withdrawing, and repeating; sinking a little further each time.
"Do you want me to turn it on?"
"God yes," he whines. And when I do, he cries out, "Jesus fucking Christ," and claws at the blanket. "Why does it… why does it feel so good?"
"Do you wish you had one of these in your room that night?"
"Yes." His answer is muffled, but I still hear it.
"Show me what you would have done. Show me what I would have seen if I'd walked in."
With no hesitation, Jin reaches back and grabs the end of the half submerged vibrator. After a few tentative pumps, he pushes it as deep as it will go.
"Holy shit," I mumble to myself and snatch at the lube.
Ignoring my dick, I rub it over my own rim and force my middle finger inside because I just can't take it anymore.
I don't know why I was embarrassed to tell him.
I don't know why I thought he wouldn't be interested.
But after seeing how turned on he was when I mentioned it this morning, I know I need it.
I need to know what he feels like.
I need him to fuck me as well.
I hiss and dig my fingernails into my thigh to keep myself grounded.
My finger sinks deeper. Pumps. Then deeper again.
Watching Jin is like nothing else.
This is dangerous.
This is better than I imagined.
I'd have fucking killed him if I saw him like this back then.
Desperate for more, I add a second finger.
Jin is relentless. The sounds he's making. How fast he's moving.
Drawn to keep up with him, I speed up, too.
My head falls back.
I lose focus.
"Eden."
What?
"Eden?"
I look at Jin. He's not moving. It's not inside him anymore.
His face is flushed, and curious.
"Are… Are you?" he says softly, raising himself up and crawling to me.
Kneeling in front of me—the vibrator, off, in his left hand—he puts his right hand on my bicep then follows my arm the whole way down and around my body.
"Fuck," he pants out, and I feel no shame. "I wanna see you use it."
Jin takes my wrist and brings it around to my front. I look down at my hand and how the light from the cab is reflecting off my glistening fingers.
He hands me the vibrator. "Show me."
I don't say anything, I don't even nod, I just do as I'm asked.
I reach into the toiletries bag, take out a condom, and put it on the vibrator.
Jin holds my face. "Look at me while you do it."
I stare him down as I push the vibrator inside me.
"You're so sexy," Jin praises, and I drag it out and force it deeper.
He kisses me.
He feels so strong.
So in control.
"Can I use the other one?" he asks.
"On your back," I tell him, and he grins like the devil.
Not allowing myself anything more until Jin is ready, I watch as he takes out the dildo and coats it in lube. With his head back on the pillow, he brings his knees up and reaches around his thigh to hold it at his entrance.
I do the same, holding the tip of the vibrator against my hole until he moves.
"If I can take all of this, then you'll fuck me hard? That was your rule, wasn't it?"
"I can't decide if you're being a good boy, or a bad boy, right now."
"Does it have to be one or the other?"
I open my mouth to respond, but Jin's eyes roll back, and mine are drawn like magnets between his legs.
The thing is already half way inside him before my brain catches up and I plunge the vibrator back into my ass.
Jin's face contorts.
I tell him to go slower, but he won't listen.
I'm already as deep as I can go.
I start grinding it against my prostate, but it's too much. There's so much more for me to do.
I toss the vibrator aside and grab the dildo.
I cage Jin's body and hold his head still, forcing him to look me dead in the eye, as I fuck his ass with my toy.
"Am I ready?" his voice trembles, and I slam the dildo into him harder.
When he doesn't cry out in pain, I throw it aside, too, and grab another condom.
Crawling between his open legs, I line myself up with him, but he reaches out to hold my face. Just like he did before. "Even if I cry out, don't stop. I want this so much. Don't hold back, not even a little."
Without looking away from him, I sink inside Jin. And even with everything he just went through, the squeeze is still insane.
I push until I'm two thirds of the way in, and stop.
That's as long as the dildo.
That's as much as he's ever taken.
"More," he whines, rocking his hips.
"Fuck," I curse as he clenches around me. "Naughty boy."
"Be a man and keep your promise," he taunts—and I slam my hips forward.
He screams, but it's not all pain. There's so much pleasure in it, too.
So I do it again, and again.
It's a lot, and I know it, but morals be damned because Jintae's tiny body has taken every single inch of me.
Like an animal, I climb further over him until my arms are bracing above his shoulders and he's completely hidden beneath me.
"Knees up," I bark, and he links his elbows beneath them—his thighs snug against his ribs—and he grabs onto my hips for support.
"I'll never hold back again," I warn before quickly drawing out, only to slam back inside him with full force.
No longer in control, my hips buck wildly as I drive into him on repeat.
Over, and over, and over again.
My ruts jar his body, but his shoulders only slam into my forearms, giving him no respite from my onslaught.
I feel like I'm splitting him in two, but the filthy amalgamation of lewd noises dripping from his mouth tells me otherwise.
My heart is like a jackhammer in my chest, and a bass drum in my ears.
This is the best anything has ever felt.
In my dick. My head. And my heart.
I move back down to kiss him. To tell him again how sorry I am, and how much I love him.
Our lips are a jumbled mess as his body jolts more freely.
I can see that he loves me too, just as much as I can see he needs more from me.
I wrap one arm beneath him and rest back on my haunches, my knees spread, and my dick still deep inside him.
With his shoulders still on the mattress, I sink the fingers of both hands into his waist.
Jin grabs hold of my wrists, and lets me drag him back and forth along my length.
"Fuuuuuck," I curse, my head falling forward. "You're amazing."
He babbles something positive that I don't quite catch, but it's adorable how hard he's trying.
"You're so beautiful, Jin. You should see yourself."
The whine he lets out is downright sinful.
"You like that, ha?"
"Y—ye—yes… Like it… Like it so much when you use me to make yourself f—feel good."
"I'm so addicted to you, Little One."
"I'm addicted… to you."
"Shhh," I tell him, and with my permission, I see him lose focus.
This is what I live for, now.
This is the power I want.
The power to make him feel so good that he forgets about everything else.
I look down at my length as it sinks into him, his rim desperately gripping at my shaft every time it reappears in a mesmerising cycle.
His dick bounces against his stomach; slick drops splattering across his skin.
I grab it and start pumping.
His hands scrape and claw.
His abs tense and his pecs and biceps quiver.
I hold still inside him, so close to the edge, but needing him to get there first.
His back arches.
He clenches.
I let go of his cock, take him by the waist again with both hands, and force myself so hard and deep inside of him I feel the condom break.
Jin screams, but it's unlike any sound I've ever heard.
His body convulses, and as I come inside him, he shoots all over his stomach and chest.
The windows of the shitty old canopy are fogged up and the air is heavy with the smell of sex.
I pull out, lay him on the mattress, and crawl back over him. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"You're the—" His face twitches. "Why do I feel so wet?"
"The condom broke." I kiss his forehead. "We should probably head back."
"But what about—"
"Shhh," I kiss him gently on the lips. "We need to clean up. We can come back out in the morning. We can come back out every day if you want to."
"Promise?"
"You know I'll promise you anything, Little One."