Chapter 7
In the afternoon, Willow wanted to clear an area next to the strawberry fields and I offered to help.
Being outside and keeping busy was doing wonders for my state of mind.
I seemed to feel less worried about what was going on in my life when I focused on farm work.
So, we set about clearing some of the wildflowers and weeds that had sprung up.
‘Sometimes, we’ve hired an ice cream van near to the farmhouse but I thought it would make more sense to have something out here, almost like a grand finale to the pick-your-own fields.
The café you found me in when you arrived came to the pumpkin patch to serve food and drinks, and they are up for doing the same for summer.
If I can convince them there will be enough visitors to make it worth their while like it was in autumn,’ Willow explained as she carried some of what we’d cleared over to her wheelbarrow and dumped it in.
‘What else did you have at your pumpkin patch then?’ I asked as I wiped my brow. The May afternoon sun was warm and this was hard work.
Willow told me all about it, and it did sound like a really fun place to visit.
‘I’m just not sure how to do it for summer as the patch was under polytunnels and I created a trail for people to walk around so they saw everything.
Often, people just come out to the crop they want to pick then go home.
Even if we do offer food and drink, will they stay?
Maybe it will be too much work to make this into more of an experience.
’ She looked downcast at the thought of abandoning her idea, though.
I paused and turned around to look back at the crop fields and the farmhouse behind them. I squinted against the sun. ‘You know, it’s kind of a large circle from the farmhouse, isn’t it? So, you could create a trail to get visitors to walk all around the fields like you did in autumn.’
Willow came over to stand beside me and look.
‘Hmm. If people parked out by the driveway then they could walk around it all and then go back this way,’ she pointed, ‘to arrive back where they started. Plus, that’s where we usually have a table and till set up to take payment for what has been picked.
But maybe creating a trail would be too much work in such a short space of time. ’
‘I can help. You could mark it with, I don’t know, pretty stones maybe? And signpost it all? You mentioned photo opportunities…’
‘Well, I was thinking of having props or summer scenes people would take photos with. Like what we did in autumn…’ She pulled her phone out of her pocket to show me.
‘Would you stay this week? Maybe we could do it together then. I mean, I hate to beg but I would love the help. And your idea is really great.’
I smiled, pleased that I had come up with something to help after feeling so guilty about not being there for her in the past. And the fact that she’d opened up her house to me, no questions asked.
‘Unless you feel you should go and see Henry?’ Willow asked when she saw me hesitate.
‘No,’ I said quickly. ‘I’ve turned my phone off.
I told him that I need space. And I need to think.
I have enjoyed today. Being with you, being outside, it’s helping me calm down.
I could stay,’ I said, my heart lifting at the thought of being in this sanctuary for a few more days.
I’d be able to really think about what I wanted to happen next.
Willow beamed at me. ‘I think it would be fun but more importantly, it would be a huge weight off of my shoulders. I didn’t know what to do without my summer staff and making sure Dad doesn’t take on too much, and with Dylan focusing on his project—’
‘Willow,’ I cut in. ‘You’re worrying about everyone but yourself.’
She shrugged. ‘I can’t help it. We came so close to losing the farm, I want to come up with things that make certain that won’t happen again, you know?’
That settled it. I had left Willow and her dad alone for the past five years, but they were my only family.
I had to help them now. And selfishly, everything I’d left behind in the city was such a mess that I was happy to leave it all for as long as possible.
‘I can stay and help you this week,’ I said. ‘I want to help.’
Willow rushed over and pulled me in for a hug. ‘Plus, Birch Tree Farm has never failed to help someone in need,’ she said as she pulled back to smile at me.
I raised an eyebrow. ‘You think I’m in need?’
‘Well, yeah, Daisy – you seem so different. So lost. There was a reason you came back to the farm now. I can feel it. You need the farm as much as it needs you.’
‘It isn’t a person,’ I said with a laugh. I didn’t want to admit it out loud but it was nice to have someone truly care about me again.
‘But only if it’s what you want. I don’t want to decide anything for you,’ she added quickly.
‘I know,’ I assured her. Willow was nothing like Henry or his parents.
I could see how worried she was about me.
And everything she loved in her life. It felt good to be included in that despite pulling away from her.
I realised that even though I’d been gone for five years, I cared about Willow and her uncle and this farm as much as I ever had.
I was so scared of losing people and things I loved.
I had tried so hard for five years to keep up a wall around me.
But Willow wasn’t about to let that stick. Being back on the farm, it already felt like that wall was crumbling. Because I did love my family, and this place, and I would be devastated if I lost any of them. So, I needed to do my best to make sure that didn’t happen.
‘I want this, Willow,’ I told her then. ‘I shouldn’t have stayed away for so long. You’re right, I have been lost. But I don’t know. I already feel a bit better about things. Maybe you’re right – this place will be good for me.’
‘It will,’ she promised.
I had walked away from the prospect of a half-life.
Now I wanted to find a life I would love.
* * *
After dinner, Willow declared we needed to go out for a drink. It had been a long day and we’d tucked in to a hearty dinner made by Uncle Adam and once we were all cleared up, Willow suggested heading to the local pub.
‘I could do with a glass of wine,’ I admitted. I ached in muscles I’d forgotten all about and a relaxing drink sounded great.
‘I’m in,’ Dylan said. ‘Coming?’ he asked Blake.
Blake had been quiet during dinner but any open hostility had passed, thank goodness, since we’d bumped into each other outside late last night.
Blake looked at me. ‘I do fancy a beer, if that would be okay?’
I was sure we would never be friends after our shaky start but I wasn’t against being in a pub with him so I shrugged. ‘Sure.’
Blake merely nodded.
I turned back to Willow. ‘Should we change?’ I asked, looking down at what I’d been wearing all day.
‘No way. We’ll sit outside; the evening is still so nice. Everyone in Birchbrook will be dressed like us,’ Willow said. ‘Come on, let’s walk over before a chore comes up that I forgot about.’
I was surprised she didn’t think we should change but it was a relief to not have to make a big effort like I was used to doing.
If I’d been going out with Henry for drinks at his club, I would have needed to be wearing a dress with my hair all done and make-up polished, and we’d have planned it at least a week in advance.
This felt spontaneous and casual, and far more relaxed. Even with Blake involved.
The four of us walked to the Birchbrook Arms. It was a picturesque walk from the farm slightly downhill towards the pretty High Street of Willow’s small countryside town. Even the local pub was quaint and cosy with wooden beams across the ceiling and a thatched roof outside.
Willow and I headed into the beer garden while Dylan and Blake bought a round of drinks.
Outside were picnic-style benches on grass and each table had a LED lantern ready for when the sun finally dipped in the sky.
It was busy and lively thanks to the lovely evening.
Beyond the pub, I could see rolling hills and the sun beaming down on them.
It was a lovely view and again, I felt some more of the tension roll off my shoulders.
‘At least we’re old enough to drink now,’ Willow said as we sat down at a free table.
‘I can only imagine the mischief we would have got into if we had been able to when we were younger. Do you remember when we took a Victoria sponge your mum had made out into the fields and ate the whole thing? She had been saving it for when the vicar came round.’
Willow shook her head. ‘My mum rarely got angry but she was furious with us. We had to walk to Birchwood Café and beg Pat, short for Patricia, to bake one to serve instead.’
‘Your mum made such good cake,’ I remembered aloud. ‘God, I wish mine was around right now. I thought about her so much when I woke up on my wedding day, wishing she was there. I never would have got into such a mess if she had been.’
I knew, though, part of the reason I had almost walked down the aisle to Henry was because I had lost her.
I thought marrying someone I didn’t love would save me from pain.
And maybe it might have done. But I knew it also meant I’d lost joy from my life.
I was already having more fun this evening than I’d had for a long time.
‘I think that all the time,’ Willow said softly.
‘But mistakes are part of the journey, right? Like, in autumn, I stuck my head in the sand about our farm being in trouble but if it hadn’t been such a desperate time, I might not have come up with the pumpkin-patch idea.
’ She glanced behind me and smiled. ‘Or met Dylan.’
I couldn’t help but hope that my mistake might turn out just as good.
Dylan and Blake returned then with our drinks.
‘Let’s have a toast!’ Willow cried as she passed me a glass of wine then picked up a glass for herself.
Dylan and Blake sat down at the table – Dylan beside Willow and Blake next to me – with their pints of beer.
‘To old friends, to family, and to the best summer yet on Birch Tree Farm!’ Willow’s good mood was infectious and despite ourselves, Blake and I smiled and joined in with the cheers, clinking our drinks with Willow and Dylan.
I took a long sip of wine; it was cold and refreshing and felt so good after our busy day.
‘How long have you been friends?’ I asked Dylan and Blake. If I was going to stay on the farm for a few more days, I knew I needed to help us try to put our awkward first meeting behind us.
‘We went to the same school,’ Dylan said. ‘And hung out in the holidays. I guess we lost a bit of touch when we both went away to university…’
‘Then I moved to the city a year ago,’ Blake picked up. ‘We met up a few times before Dylan moved to Birchbrook. He was the first person I thought of when I wanted to get away from the city and… everything,’ he said, mumbling the final word. Perhaps he had been about to mention his ex again.
‘I’m glad you did,’ Dylan told him.
Blake asked him how he met Willow then. Dylan and Willow launched into the story of how he’d turned up at the farm wanting to buy it and she was having none of it.
We listened and laughed, and I saw how they looked at each other.
I was sure Henry had never looked at me like that.
And I hadn’t looked at him that way either.
I had been certain I didn’t want to find true love.
The heartache that could come with it wasn’t worth the pain after all I had been through.
But they seemed so happy. I couldn’t help but feel a little envious.
And wondered if I might ever find something like that.
But even if I did, I had no idea if I’d be able to let it in, or whether I’d run and hide from it.