Chapter 20
Aliena
Sebastian surprises me by taking me straight to the last room on the second floor. His room. He does the whole thing so nonchalantly that it hardly seems like a big deal, but I know that no one is allowed in here. Ever.
Still, he opens that door for me and tells me to go in. Sadly, I don’t get much of a look at the whole interior since the lights are off and he’s leading me into the adjoint bathroom with a hand on my lower back the next second.
He turns on the lights there and I get a good look at the massive room he brought me to. It’s elegant and dark grey themed. LED strips are embedded along the edge of the ceiling, and the big walk-in shower takes up an entire corner. What takes the cake is the giant bathtub though.
Grey steps that match the floor lead up to it and there won’t be any awkward climb out since another small step aligns the wall where you’d have to get out on the inside of the tub. It’s magnificent. Not so big that it would feel like a pool but big enough to comfortably fit two people.
I shoot him a knowing look over my shoulder. “Interesting,” I tell him. He laughs and shakes his head .
“Incredible where your head is headed again but I’ll have to disappoint you. Believe it or not, I’ve never had anyone in here,” he tells me, which satisfies me to new levels.
“Thank you. Really. Any of your guest bathrooms would have done, though, just so you know.”
“That would have been a shame. I’m a shower person anyway so I barely use the tub. You’re free to use it whenever you want.” The way he speaks – As if I had agreed to move in. As if it was decided and set in stone.
I cock an eyebrow, feeling my lips twitch. “You’re giving me unlimited access?”
“Oh yeah. Make sure to take me up on that offer especially when I’m taking a shower. I’m always happy to put on a show,” he teases me. Then he starts rummaging through his cabinets while I look at the glass door of the spacious shower.
Speaking of temptation.
“Aha! Here we go. I hope you like lavender,” he says, handing me a small glass bottle filled with a dark blue liquid. “Use as much as you want, I have more of them. My mom gives me one for every birthday and I don’t have the heart to tell her that I don’t actually use it.”
I take that bottle and thank him. “That’s really sweet of her. When’s your birthday?” I ask. That’s the only way I can ration the remaining bottles so there are enough until his next birthday.
“January 19 th ,” he tells me.
“Oh, that’s soon,” I remark as I walk over to the tub. There, I hesitate. “Uhm, what am I looking at?” I ask, studying the different buttons and levers. He steps up to me from behind, placing one hand on my back to stabilize himself as he leans over the tub to explain all the different functions it possesses.
By the time he’s done, I remember only about half of it. Mostly because I was more aware of his hand on my back than the words he said. I just repeat the most important things to make sure I got that right.
“Yeah, that’s it. You’ll be fine, right?” he asks, smiling softly.
I nod. “Yes, thanks.” Before he turns and leaves, his eyes focus on something slightly over the top of my head and he reaches out to pull out a twig from my strands. I laugh softly. “And thanks for that,” I add.
“No biggie. Why don’t you turn around so I can get the rest of them? That way I won’t have a whole forest in my tub tomorrow morning,” he proposes. Instead of resisting, I silently turn around. It’s not like I mind his hands on me. No, not at all.
For the next few minutes, Sebastian works on freeing the small twigs from my wild strands with utmost care. Then, there’s a hairbrush in his hand and he starts brushing out the tangles from the lower half of my hair, slowly working his way up. I relax into it, surprised by how pleasant this is.
No one has ever brushed my hair, not to mention taken such care of me. It does something weird and fuzzy to my chest.
“You’re really good at this,” I hum, keeping my eyes closed. It’s all I can do not to start purring or moaning where I stand like a weirdo. Sebastian laughs softly.
“My mother taught me. She said it was important for a man to know how to properly treat a woman. I’m pretty sure she just used that as an excuse to get me to do her hair. ”
“Smart woman,” I remark, leaning back against him slightly. I could fall asleep right here.
Maybe Sebastian can read my mind because one of his arms comes around my waist to hold me up while his other gently caresses the side of my face. I’m practically fully leaning against him now, but he doesn’t make a sound of protest.
“Maybe the bath should wait until tomorrow morning? We wouldn’t want you falling asleep and drowning in there,” he says. I softly shake my head against his chest but don’t move.
“It has to be tonight. I have to work tomorrow, and I’ll have to swing by my apartment to change first.” God even the thought of it exhausts me. Sebastian’s hold on me tightens.
“But tomorrow is Saturday.” He sounds confused.
I chuckle. “Well, we can’t very well tell the seniors they’re on their own on the weekends. I’m lucky though. I have a day off on Sunday.” Only that I don’t, do I? I’ll have to visit my parents then. “Well, I don’t have to go to the nursing home. I guess I’ll still be taking care of people.”
I don’t know if he understands that I mean my parents or not but the next thing I know, he’s pressing a soft kiss to the side of my head.
“You’re tired, baby. Let’s get you to sleep. The bath isn’t going anywhere.” He tries to pull me back toward the door, but I try to resist.
“I can’t sleep anyway,” I protest. “I never can. There’s too much to think about and tonight will only be worse. With what happened with Lily, I don’t think I’ll be able to get any rest.”
That gives the man behind me a pause and he changes tactics, stepping in front of me. “You want to spend the night with me? I can talk you to sleep to keep your mind off things. Or I’ll come with you to your room and leave after you’re asleep. Whatever you prefer.”
There it is again, that warm feeling in my chest, just much stronger now that I’m looking into his eyes.
“Well, if you put it that way. I’m sure your bed feels like heaven.” He smiles and nods.
“Yeah, it does.”
There’s just one more suspicion to clear up. “How many women have you taken in there?” I ponder.
He rolls his eyes. “None.” My heart does a flip.
“You’re sure you don’t mind?” He’s already steering me into the adjacent room.
“I wouldn’t have proposed it if I did. Come on, I can give you something to wear if you want. And I have spare toothbrushes. Then it’s time to sleep for you.” With that, he walks back into his bedroom to get me his clothes to sleep in.
Despite everything, I think I’m blushing.
After changing into Sebastian’s clothes – a shirt and some boxershorts – I step out of his bathroom, trying not to appear nervous and make things weird.
Honestly, this is new terrain for me. I’ve never spent the night with a guy, certainly not one I didn’t even do anything sexual with. It’s nerve-wrecking.
My friend is already lounging on his bed, scrolling through his phone only to look up when he hears me step closer. He’s smiling softly, scanning me in a subtle way. If I’m reading him right, he likes what he sees and that has me beaming a little .
I sit down on the edge of the bed, unsure of how to proceed. He laughs at me, the idiot.
“You can lie down, Aliena. I promise I won’t bite,” he assures me even though his wicked smile tells me a different story. I nearly comment on it but decide against it. I’m about to spend the night in his bed, I shouldn’t blur any lines by flirting now. We settled on being friends after all...
I just roll my eyes and get beneath his blanket, staying on the far side of the bed so I don’t invade his personal space. I’m afraid the reason he never takes girls in here is that he doesn’t like being close to someone all night, which I really understand. I’m similar, after all. I like my space when she sleeps.
“As comfortable as you hoped for?” he asks, lying on his side and leaning up on one elbow to look at me. His biceps bulge heavenly where he props his head up.
I close my eyes and let my hand move over the smooth sheets. “Close enough,” I tease him, not bothering to even open my eyes. It feels too nice. The whole moment is surreal, and I’m scared to shatter the spell.
I know this is just a momentary escape from my shitshow life. Tomorrow, I have to work again, and eventually, I’ll have to return to my apartment. No matter how tempting Sebastian’s offer to move in is, I’m too tired to contemplate such a bizarre change right now.
Some cons invade my mind in an instant of quiet, nonetheless. First off, Lily and our friends would ask questions that I don’t want to answer truthfully. It still feels unbelievable that I told Sebastian practically my whole life story in the matter of minutes. I can’t and don’t want to do the same with my other friends.
I’m sure to regret it in the morning but for now, I’m enjoying my vacation .
Before my mind can spiral any further, Sebastian’s deep, soothing voice catches my attention. “What do you want me to talk about? Give me something to work with,” he suggests. I open my eyes to find him still studying me.
My eyes flick to his bookshelf. “How about you read something? I think that would be more pleasant than hearing anything about real life. Only if you feel like it, though. If you changed your mind and would rather I spent the night in my guest room, that’s totally okay,” I assure him, scared of being a burden.
“Reading something sounds great. Do you want me to start something from the top or is it okay if I recite from the book I’m currently reading?”
“Of course, it is. I don’t care what it is you say as long as you keep talking,” I tell him on accident. It’s just that I realize now how very beautiful his voice truly is, deep and velvety in this dimly lit room. Maybe it will be enough to keep my mind from tormenting me all night.
Sebastian reaches over to his nightstand and picks up a thick book. Then he starts reading without another look in my direction, presenting me with a very appealing view. He’s focused, I can see it in his sharp features.
The pages pass in a blur, and Sebastian’s voice grows distant as he loses himself in the story. Meanwhile, I’m too busy hanging on to his every word to worry about anything else. Every now and again, his eyes flick over to me and he grants me a smile. That does funny things to my heart.
When his words slowly become more and more slurred, I feel my own eyelids grow heavy. I hug the blanket closer to my chest, curling up further.
Finally, blissfully, I doze off and sink into a deep, uninterrupted slumber for the first time in weeks .
When I wake up, the first thing I take notice of is the sweat slicking the hair at the back of my neck to my skin. Yeah, it’s definitely uncomfortably warm. I guess that’s what happens when two people share a room without a window cracked open.
I try to throw the blanket off me only to find my arms pinned. A shockwave of fear bolts through me and my eyes fly open but instead of finding some intruder in front of me, I come face to face with a broad chest. A naked, chiseled chest.
I blink at the smooth skin, trying to find a memory of Sebastian taking his clothes off but he must have done that after I’d fallen asleep. I’m sure I’d remember otherwise.
I can’t get a very good look since he’s inches in front of me, my arms trapped in between our bodies while his are wrapped around my back.
It’s stifling. I don’t know how I slept in this position.
And yet, despite the sticky heat that clings to me, I find myself hesitant to pull away. I never woke up in someone’s arms before and it’s kind of nice, I guess. I’m tempted to just close my eyes again and snuggle a little closer.
Before I can do that, I remember my responsibilities for the day and the memories from last night come flying back. Me, breaking down at the party. Like an idiot. And as if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, I fell apart completely after finding Lily in that bathroom.
Of course, Sebastian, of all people, had to witness that whole shitshow.
Suddenly, I don’t find our proximity so comforting anymore. Instead, it feels invasive and generally too much. I push myself away from him with a not-so-gentle shove .
He startles awake right as I’m getting to my feet. “Oh, good morning,” he mumbles with a yawn. I look at him over my shoulder and make a move to leave his room.
“Morning,” I reply. His brows are drawing together, no doubt at my hurried mannarism, but I speak some more before he can question me. “Thanks again for letting me stay here, really. I have to get to work now,” I tell him, unsure whether that’s true since I don’t know what time it is.
Sebastian gives the clock on my nightstand a pointed look before bringing his disbelieving eyes back to me. “It’s five am, Aliena. You slept for barely three hours. Come back to bed.”
Oh. My shift doesn’t start until eleven. My steps slow but I don’t halt. I might as well go home already and do some chores. It’s not like I will be able to fall back to sleep anyways.
While I contemplate my next move, Sebastian climbs out of bed and walks toward me, his face neutral. I watch him come closer, trying not to make my ogling of his bare torso too obvious when really, it is a sight to see.
I knew he worked out and seeing his corded arms often when he wore short sleeves, I had proof that it showed. Still, knowing and seeing confirmation of my hunch are two different things, and seeing him in his bedroom only makes the sight feel more forbidden. More sensual.
Or maybe it’s the lack of sleep making me unreasonably horny.
“What are you doing?” I finally wonder aloud when he stops right in front of me. His smooth chuckle washes over me like a shot of tequila, making heat bloom in my stomach.
“I told you to come back to bed,” he offers .
“Well, I told you I had to get to work,” I retort. He doesn’t buy it. I can see it in his eyes.
“What time does that start?” he prompts.
“Eleven,” I mumble, looking away. He tsks. Then, with a smile of angelic innocence, he ducks so his head is near my waist and throws his arms around my middle. I squeal and try to step away but before I can escape, my feet are off the ground and I’m horizontally in the air.
“Sebastian! What are you doing?” I exclaim, clutching onto his back. His muscles flex beneath my touch and I hold on a little tighter. Coincidentally.
“Taking you back to bed,” he replies as he starts walking to the four-poster. His steps are even and unhurried as if I wasn’t slung over his shoulder like a heavy bag of potatoes.
“I told you I had to go, you caveman!” I protest, slapping his back softly. The next thing I know, I’m flying through the air and bouncing off the fluffy mattress. Once I still, I wipe the hair from my face and glare up at the man, who’s now triumphantly smiling down at me.
Then he drops onto the bed next to me, saying, “Much better.” He pats the space right next to him and opens his arms invitingly. Like he wants me to cuddle up to him again. “Come back, now, will you?”
I stare at him. “Just go back to sleep, Seb. I should start my day,” I tell him seriously even though I’m tempted to ignore all that for a few more hours in his arms. His smile fades and he shakes his head.
“When’s the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep?” he asks.
“No one needs that many hours,” I protest instead of replying. Truth is, I have no idea when that could have been .
He gives me a look. “What about six hours?” I just roll my eyes. “Aliena, when’s the last time you slept?” he repeats.
“Just now,” I huff. “It’s about quality, not quantity and these three hours just now were great. Really relaxing.”
“Good, let’s repeat it now,” he argues, patting the mattress again. My restraint is slipping through my fingers, my arguments dying on my lips. Still, I hesitate because I already granted myself such a long break from reality and I’m scared to drag it out. I don’t even remember the last time I checked my phone. It must’ve been at the party at some point.
I’m sure Lily texted me by now and my heart beats a little heavier at the thought. I’m afraid to have received a message from my best friend. I just really, really don’t know what to say to her.
Sure, Sebastian was right last night when he said that it’s her choice what she does to her body and that it might only have been a one-time thing. Still, I’m really disappointed in her. And scared for her.
More scared than I’ve ever been in my life because watching my mother waste away is one thing, but the idea of it happening to Lily is another entirely. She’s my family when my own parents feel like strangers, she always has been. I can’t lose her.
Shit, that’s exactly why I should check my phone. I already drove one person back to drug abuse with my apathy and the distance I created, I can’t let the same happen with Lily.
When a gentle hand brushes against my arm, I refocus on Sebastian, who’s studying me closely. “What’s on your mind?” he asks .
What isn’t?
But I don’t say that. He’s too attentive and too interested in understanding or helping me or whatever else his motives are. I shouldn’t keep oversharing my thoughts but here he is, looking at me so expectantly.
I shrug. “I don’t know. Last night was a mess and I have to figure out what to do with Lily. Do you know where my phone is?”
“Yeah, here.” He turns around, regrettably letting go of my arm, and takes my phone from the nightstand. Before he returns it to me, he says, “I turned it off last night when you were changing in the bathroom. It wouldn’t stop ringing, but I didn’t think it was the right time for you to have to deal with it so I took the liberty.”
“It was Lily?” I ask, my anxiety rising. I don’t remember a single time when I turned off my phone. Shit, what if my dad tried to reach me because there was an emergency, or something happened to Lily.
“Yeah. But don’t worry, I told Andrew to go get her before I came after you. She wasn’t alone in case of an emergency,” he tries to reason as if hearing my spiraling thoughts. I snatch my phone from his hand and turn it back on.
“She still could have needed me. You shouldn’t have turned it off. You had no right,” I rebuke. Then I focus on my screen that lights up with about a million messages.
The first thing that catches my eye is the amount of missed calls I have from my best friend but also from Andrew and even some from Mattheo, though I guess he called me to ask where I vanished off to rather than because he knew what I saw. He wouldn’t understand my reaction anyway .
Then there are all the texts from Lily, and finally, I see a missed call from my dad. That’s what really makes me scared. I mean, something terrible must’ve happened if he called me at four am.
I clench my fingers around my phone to stop them from shaking but it’s no use. I fail to enter my password two times before I manage to unlock my phone. Before I can call my dad back, a firm hand envelops my shaky one.
“The world won’t fall apart if you’re out of reach for a few hours. You deserve a break from time to time,” Sebastian tries to reassure me. It does little to ease my rising panic, and when I speak next, I can hear the emotion in my voice.
“My world might. I have people depending on me, Seb. I can’t just go off the grid. Now, please, let go of my hand. I have to call my dad back.” As I speak, I’m preparing myself to get up to leave the room. This is none of Sebastian’s business. I know he’s only trying to be a good friend, but this isn’t his burden to carry.
Of course, we don’t see eye to eye on that and he pulls me back onto the bed even as he releases my hand. “Stay. You don’t have to do everything alone,” he tells me, eliciting a heavy sadness within me. It’s weird to hear someone say that. It feels like I’m being recognized only that it doesn’t feel good because it only confirms that things are wrong.
I don’t say a word as I sit up on the bed and call my father. I don’t look at Sebastian as I count the unanswered rings. Two, three, four.
My palms start to sweat as I listen to the even sound over the phone. A million scenarios occupy my mind. None of them are good. In fact, they’re bad enough that the comforting hand Sebastian places on my knee doesn’t help.
Finally, the ringing stops. “Aliena?” my dad’s groggy voice asks, sounding confused. I could sob. Instead, I swallow thickly to make sure my next words are even.
“Yes, dad. You called me?”
“I did? Oh, that must’ve happened by mistake. I’m sorry for that, honey, I hope I didn’t give you a scare.”
“You’re sure?” I ask, slowly feeling my tense muscles release.
“Yes, everything’s fine here,” he assures me.
“Okay, good. I’m sorry I woke you, then. Go back to sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him.
“Until then, Honey.” The line disconnects and I sag against the headrest, closing my eyes as it feels like a thousand years of stress bleed out of me.
“He didn’t mean to call me. Everything’s fine,” I say without looking at the man next to me. He gives my knee a squeeze.
“See, you got some rest and there was no catastrophe. Will you agree to sleep a few more hours now?” he asks.
I worry my lip between my teeth. “I don’t know. I should still get back to Lily.” Even as I say it, I don’t make a move to open her messages. I don’t want to deal with that right now.
Sebastian takes my phone from my hands again and puts it back on my nightstand, making the decision for me. Then, wordlessly, he tugs at my hands to pull me into a lying position. I’m in his arms the next second, my face buried in the crook of his neck while his even breathing brushes against the top of my head, making tingles rush down my spine .
After a few minutes of stroking my back gently, he asks, “Do you want me to read to you again?”
“No, this is fine. Thanks,” I mumble against his skin, already feeling my mind drifting off. It’s only faintly that I notice his soft shudder in response to the brush of my lips against his skin.
The next day passes in a blur. I wake up again at nine am and Sebastian isn’t awake to stop me from sneaking away this time. I almost feel bad for just leaving but I have things to do before my shift starts. I left him a cute note to express my gratitude and hopefully leave him in a good mood for the day, at least.
I get breakfast bagels at my favorite café and then head to Lily’s place. Is she awake at this time on the day after her party? No, she probably isn’t. Do I care that I’m waking her up? I can’t say I do.
I ring her doorbell about fifty times and have to wait in the brutal late-December cold for several minutes until the door flies open and I come face to face with my best friend’s disheveled boyfriend.
I smile at him. “Hey, there. Would you mind letting me in? I’m here to see my bestie,” I chirp too cheerily. Andrew doesn’t return my smile.
“Aly, it’s really fucking early. I’m sure Lily would be over the moon to know you came but she’s still sleeping,” he explains at the same time as a crash sounds from inside the apartment. He turns around to look for the source while I crane my neck to see inside in vain.
Lily curses inside and then appears next to her boyfriend the next moment, looking even worse than him. Her eyes are red and puffy as if she cried all night and there are dark circles under her eyes. Still, she smiles tiredly at me.
“I’m awake. Sorry. I’m up.” Her eyes drop to the bag in my hands and she beams a little more, despite the nerves she seems to experience. “You brought me breakfast.”
“Consider it your late birthday gift,” I say. At the mention of her birthday and the memories of her party, an odd silence descends over us.
Finally, she clears her throat. “Right. Andrew, baby, why don’t you go back to bed? Aly and I will be in the living room.” Andrew nods, kisses the side of her head, and then leaves with one unsure smile in my direction. I follow Lily into her living room and take a seat at her dinner table, unloading the bagels.
Before I can even think to speak, Lily breaks the silence, her smile dropping and giving way to an anguished expression. “I am so sorry, Aly. Really. God, I don’t know what I was thinking and it doesn’t matter. I’m so sorry that I exposed you to that. I can’t imagine what you must’ve felt like.
“I tried coming after you after Sebastian left but Andrew found me first and I didn’t think you wanted to see me. I am so sorry. Are we okay?” she asks right as she starts to cry.
No matter how disappointed I might be in her, I have never been able to see my girl cry. That’s why I quickly round the table and pull her into my arms, squeezing her to me.
“We’re okay. Just never do anything like that again, okay?”
She nods vigorously. “I won’t. It was stupid, really.” She hiccups and wraps her arms around my waist. “You looked so horrified,” she adds.
“I was, Lily.” That’s all I say to that, refusing to lie. It’s not my place to be angry at her for what she does to her body, but I won’t give her an easy way out and lie about what the sight of her with those drugs did to me. That’s not how our relationship works.
After staying a bit and talking until things felt normal between us, I left her apartment with less weight on my shoulders. That leaves me with just enough time to go home, take a shower, and go to work. There, my body easily follows my routine and I do my chores and visit my patients on auto pilot.
Before I know it, it’s lunchtime and I’m eating side-by-side with a few seniors, trying not to burst out laughing when old Mary Louise accuses poor Nelson of having stolen her peas even though I just watched her finish the last of them.
Yeah, I really love my job at times.
My good time is interrupted by a co-worker, who tells me someone is asking for me at the reception. A little reluctantly, I thank her and leave the table, telling Mary to take my peas as I go.
I’m not sure why I’m so surprised to see Sebastian once I reach my destination, and I understand the way my heart starts doing somersaults even less. It’s just Seb. My friend. Whom I’m attracted to, sure, and who held me all night, but still. It’s weird seeing him back here where it all started.
“Hey, you. What are you doing here?” I try to ask as naturally as possible.
“Lecturing you about sneaking out on me. That was rude,” he pouts playfully. I roll my eyes at him .
“Oh, poor baby. I’m sure you never snuck out on a girl.” He says nothing to that, just grins cheekily and brushes me off.
“That’s not all. I planned on figuring out the details of your move this morning but since you just left, here I am now. This way, I could get some of your essentials before you come home tonight. Can you take a quick break?” he asks, stunning me into silence for a good few beats.
I mean, really? He just barges in here, seeming to have my move into his place all figured out while I wasn’t even aware that we were really doing it? I brushed his offer off to him wanting to comfort me last night but this? This is freaking me out.
Not to mention that he plans on it being that soon. Jesus Christ, is he crazy?
I take a step back from him, laughing nervously. “Look, Sebastian, I really appreciate everything you did and said last night but you don’t have to offer me a place to stay. I have it covered, really.” Not strictly true, but I’m certainly not ready to move in with him.
Sebastian smiles patiently as if he knew how this conversation would go. “Listen, friend . I’m not doing this out of charity and I’m not doing this to get into your pants. You’d obviously have your own room and between my classes and your job and visits at your parent’s place, we’ll barely see each other. Not to mention that we’re hanging out every other weekend as it is, so it really won’t make much of a difference.
“I have the space and you could save a lot of money and spend it on more important things than rent. Am I wrong?” he challenges, and I stay quiet. No, I guess he’s not wrong. Still, it seems impossible that I could move in with him, the guy that, until recently, acted like he couldn’ t stand me.
“That’s what I thought. Now, I spoke to your landlord, and he said your next month’s rent is due in a few weeks, but you can move out after a three-day notice and save those costs already.” He pauses and sighs, studying me closely.
He takes a step closer and speaks calmly. “Can you try not to freak out and listen to me, Aliena?” he asks, taking my hands in his. I swallow and nod.
“Yes. It’s just – damn, you have it all figured out, don’t you? I won’t ask how you contacted my landlord. I don’t care. Still, I don’t think I can save next month’s rent. There’s no way I can be out of the apartment in three days.”
“Why not? I can call a moving company. It’s not like you live in a castle. It shouldn’t take too long to move everything. Besides, you said it yourself that tomorrow is your day off so you can pack everything up then, no?”
Right on time, a headache starts pulsing in my temples. Yeah, I’ve never been a fan of hasty plans. “I told my parents I’d visit tomorrow and I don’t know when I’ll be home. Besides, I don’t have the money for a moving company that will work so quickly on such short notice right now.”
“What about the money you could save on the rent?” he asks.
My cheeks burn up with shame but I try to hide my embarrassment as I respond, “I don’t have it yet. I wanted to ask for a waiver,” I explain, mortified when Sebastian’s surprise is apparent.
Finally, he pulls himself together. “All right. I’ll pay for the movers and you’ll pay me back when you have the money, okay?” he proposes even though I’m already shaking my head .
“I don’t want your money. If I wanted money, I might as well have told Lily about what’s going on. Look, Seb, thank you, really, but I can’t accept your help on this. I’m sorry I dumped all my drama on you yesterday, but it would be best if you just forgot all about it,” I tell him, pulling away even though it’s the last thing I want to do. The last thing I should do.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I need his help. Desperately. By the rate I’m going at, the only question left is whether I’ll have a burnout or be kicked out of my home first. I’ve just never been good at accepting help.
“Aliena, you’re a few days away from asking for a rent waiver. You’ll go into debt if you don’t change something soon. Accept my help. Besides, I’m not giving you my money, I’m lending it to you until you’re in a more stable spot. There’s no harm. Can you come to terms with that?” he asks.
Slowly, very slowly, I feel myself cave. This talk alone just reminded me of how tiring my current situation really is and he’s right, maybe there is no harm in letting him help. I can make it up to him somehow else, I’m sure.
“Yeah. I guess we have a deal,” I concede. He smiles.
“Great, I’ll make the calls then. Do you want to give me your keys? I could start packing up your dishes or something since I have nothing better to do. It’s no big deal,” he says.
Reluctantly, I nod to that too, and hand him my keys.
“Thanks, Seb. Really.”