Chapter 23
Sebastian
I’m almost sure that I shouldn’t let this go on. I’m not sure why but there is that small, cautious voice in the back of my head that is telling me to keep a clear head. That is enough to soothe my conscience and make me refrain from protesting. At least I know I’m not doing the right thing, right?
Besides, Aliena seems sure enough for both of us. With the way she is looking at me, her loose shirt rumpled while her face is beautifully flushed, I don’t stand a chance to resist this. Not when she’s finally touching me like I dreamed about for longer than I care to admit. Certainly not when her hand cups my stiff dick through my boxers, giving it a tentative squeeze.
Why did I ever think I could resist her? My good intentions seem incredibly frail in the face of her insistence.
“How many times did you come in this bed?” she asks me, smiling coyly as she strokes me.
“Too many since I met you,” I confess. She’s clearly satisfied with my answer. She likes knowing that I haven’t been with anyone because she’s been messing with my head .
“How many times did someone else make you come in this room?” she goes on, despite knowing the answer.
“Not once,” I confirm, secretly grateful for that decision when it visibly pleases her.
She smiles more and gives the waistband of my boxers a tug. I lift my hips wordlessly, letting her bare me completely. It’s weird how after all the innocently intimate moments we shared, this is what makes me shy.
I’m used to being the one leading. Now, here is Aliena, kneeling between my thighs and shamelessly drinking in the sight of me in the broad daylight.
“Are you just going to look or are you going to touch me?” I tease her, trying to force my voice to be even. Truth is, my nerves are buzzing and anticipation is wrecking my brain. There’s always been a strong sexual tension between me and this woman, even back when we were hardly friends.
The wait made me impatient like a teenager about to have his first time. Christ, I need to get a grip on it.
“Oh, I have every intention of touching,” Aliena drawls cockily, bringing her hands so close to my shaft that I can almost feel the ghost of her touch there. Shit, this is a new side of her. A side my body reacts horribly excited to.
Finally, her soft, delicate hand wraps around the base of my dick and she gives me a long stroke, drawing a breathy version of her name from my lips before I can stop it. I don’t even have it in me to be embarrassed about it. Not when the most beautiful blush creeps up her neck.
“I’ll tell you what,” she goes on, leaning forward to lick a trail down the curve of my neck before whispering against the wet skin. “I have every intention of tasting, too.” Before I can turn my head to bring her lips to mine, to kiss her like I really want to, she’s back to kneeling between my legs, grinning wickedly .
“No tasting for you. Just lean back and enjoy,” she instructs, her hand’s movement on my erection never faltering. Not trusting my voice, I don’t protest and lean back as she told me to, never taking my eyes off her while already, all the ways I can return the favor are rushing through my mind.
I want to put her in the same position once she’s done with me. Want to see her sweat and tremble beneath my hands, my tongue, and maybe even my dick. That last option isn’t for today, though. No. There’s too much I want to do to her first.
My train of thought is cut off when she leans down to press a kiss to my skin just below my belly button. Her warm lips linger and when her eyes come to meet mine, I feel chills break out on my skin. I grab the bedsheets at my side.
She peppers my skin with kisses, following the trail of hair leading to my shaft. Finally, she grabs my erection in one hand and takes her eyes from mine as she takes the first few inches into her mouth. Her warm tongue glides against the vein on the underside of my dick and her shaky breath fans against my skin. Suddenly, I’m glad she isn’t looking at me. Otherwise, she’d see the way I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath to restrain myself.
While I am more than eager to make this moment last forever, I’m also dying for her to move. To suck me down further and make me come. Heaven knows I need a release. I’m already aching for it and we’ve barely started.
Finally, blissfully, Aliena brings those beautiful honey eyes back to mine and stops the torture, pushing her face lower until her nose is brushing against my pubic and I can feel her throat constricting around me .
I grip the bedsheets more tightly, forcing my hands to stay where they are rather than let them guide Aliena’s head. She knows what she’s doing, clearly. If she wants to play with her prey first, I won’t stop her. No matter how painful it is to be her prey. It’s also the most exciting feeling I’ve experienced in years, if not ever.
I realize I closed my eyes when the vibrations of her humming around my dick have my legs twitching in response. My eyes fly open and when Aliena has what she wanted, meaning my eyes on her, she finally starts bobbing her head, using her tongue to accompany every stroke.
The rhythm is heavenly. The way her nails are digging into my flexed thighs as her tears start dropping onto my hot skin makes it even better. Soon enough, my blood is buzzing, and I feel high off the pleasure. My brain has completely shut off. All there is to focus on are the sensations.
I’ve never experienced anything similar. Not that I’m surprised. I knew Aliena was special from the day that I met her. My body has never reacted this way to anyone before her.
As the pleasure builds at the base of my spine, I grip the sheets so tightly that they finally can’t take it anymore. They tear audibly but if Aliena notices, she doesn’t care. She keeps working me up, taking me all the way down her throat again and again. I curse.
“If you don’t pull away in the next three seconds, I’ll come down that pretty throat of yours,” I warn her through gritted teeth. My hands are now clenched tightly at my sides, every muscle in my body stiff in anticipation of my release.
Aliena doesn’t pull away and as promised, my orgasm washes over me while she’s still sucking me down. My eyes close, my back stiffens and my hips buck. There’s no stopping it.
When finally, the last of my tremors end and I melt back onto the bed, I take a second to collect myself. Shit, the amount of time I lasted is embarrassing. My only saving grace is that Aliena knows of my long dry streak.
Besides, I’ll have tons of opportunities to make up for it. That’s for sure. Whatever my arguments were against taking my relationship with Aliena to a physical level have been eviscerated. Blown into tiny, incomprehensible bits. There’s no way I’ll give this up now that I know how good she can make me feel.
Plus, now I have a challenge to complete. Make sure I can make her come even faster than she managed to do with me.
I open my eyes to see Aliena standing a few feet away, laughing silently at me. Damn, I didn’t even realize she got off the bed. I’m sure this does wonders for her ego.
“You ripped the sheets,” she observes helpfully, her shoulders shaking with her amusement. I sit up.
“Why, thanks, Sherlock. I hadn’t noticed,” I tease her. “Now, get back here. We’re not done. I promise the shredded sheets won’t swallow you whole.” I might, though I don’t say that.
To my surprise, she shakes her head. “I wish I could but I’m desperate to take a shower. We need to start sleeping with the window open because it feels like a damn furnace is stuck to my back every night. I hate waking up sweaty.”
“It’s December. We’ll get sick,” I argue. I mean, come on, better to wake up a little sweaty than with a sore throat and a runny nose. The latter often is inconvenient for a much longer tim e
“You better replace those sheets then. We need a proper blanket if we want to survive the dangerous sub-zero temperatures,” she teases me. Brat. Then she turns and heads to the bathroom.
“Care to invite me to join? Save hot water and all that,” I say with the cheesiest wink I can muster. Aliena bursts out laughing though she doesn’t relent.
“No, I think I’m good, thanks,” she assures me sweetly. Then she’s locked in my bathroom. I startle a little at the sound of the key turning. She locked the door. As if she was scared I wouldn’t take the hint.
To say I’m not slightly put off by it would be a lie. Does she still not trust me after everything? Does she really know me so little to think I’d invade her privacy when she said she doesn’t want me there?
I brush those worries to the side, convinced I’m being sensitive. It’s early in the morning and my heart is still racing from my orgasm. This day is already full of turns. So what if Aliena isn’t in the mood to let me return the favor right now? That’s completely fine. As long as she doesn’t already regret anything, I’m good.
When Aliena emerges from the bathroom forty minutes later, during which I read a bit to drown out my doubts, she looks fresh and happy. I set my book down and give her my undivided attention.
“So, do you have any plans for your day off?” I ask.
“Nope. I’m very open to suggestions, though. I hate being bored. What is your to-do list for the day?”
I could tell her what certainly wasn’t on my to-do list; sitting in my bed so long after waking up. I should have started my day forty minutes ago, but I had to see Aliena again before leaving for my run. I was worried that things might get weird if we didn’t see each other for hours yet .
Maybe I just wanted to see her to be sure she was fine.
“Well, I should already be halfway through with my run by now so that’s up next, I guess. I should work out after that since I’ve been slacking. Then comes lunch. I have two classes in the afternoon and then I’m free. If you’re bored, you can run with me?” I propose unsurely. To be honest, I have no clue what her relationship with sports is.
When she groans, I have my answer. Not a fan, then. At least not of cardio. “There’s no way I can possibly keep up with you but if you’re willing to run a few circles around me so I can tag along, I guess it’s worth a try. The last time I was supposed to run from a stranger in the night, I cursed myself for not working out more.”
The unwelcome reminder of the time I had to pick her up unconscious after she was robbed is like a bucket of ice over my good mood. “Good point. Do you have running shoes?” I ask, hiding my impacted attitude as well as possible.
She blows out a breath. “Yeah. In one of the boxes that remain untouched to this point. I’ll go look for them in my room,” she says, already heading out.
“Good, and hurry!” I yell after her. So much for no longer slacking. I’m sure inviting her to join me on my run won’t lead to a more efficient workout. Still, I’ve noticed how restless Aliena is and if she wants a distraction, I’m happy to provide that.
Another twenty minutes later, my roommate and I are finally leaving my house. We barely talk. I, because I’m anxious to finally get on with my day, and Aliena for whatever reason. I’m glad for the silence this once. Not because I don’t care about what she might have to say or be thinking but because I’m still busy sorting out my own thoughts.
No matter how hard I try not to, I’m stressed out about my father’s possible reaction when he finds out I’ve been neglecting his carefully constructed workout plan. It’s ridiculous, really. I’m a twenty-three-year-old man, for fuck’s sake.
Still, some part of me can’t shake the lingering fear of his disapproval and reproach. He drilled that into me from a young age and some of that just sticks.
On top of that, I’m unsure whether or not I should address what happened this morning with Aliena. I mean, we shook on being friends. Those lines might’ve already been blurring with every night she spent in my bed, but this morning, something significant happened. Something way out of those drawn lines. I’m confused about where that leaves us.
No matter how attracted I am to Aliena and how much I care about her, I haven’t changed my mind about entering a relationship. I haven’t forgotten all the cons speaking against it.
Still, I get excited at the prospect of maybe repeating what happened this morning. The only problem is that I don’t know where my roommate stands on all this.
For now, I allow myself to focus on the burn of my muscles and the strain on my lungs as I try to motivate Aliena while running my route through the woods. It’s a lot more fun than I thought, seeing her struggling to breathe when all she clearly wants to do is snap at me. My challenge for the duration of the run is to not let her catch her breath enough to give me hell for proposing she joined me .
“If you’re down, you can always join me in the gym afterward,” I tell her, half-joking because she certainly doesn’t look in the mood for more exercise right now.
“I. Will. Murder. You,” she gasps in between deep breaths. And to think I’m already slowing my tempo down enough to be running backward.
“Bap, bap, bap. Less talking, more breathing, Sweetheart. We wouldn’t want you to pass out, now, would we?” I reproach playfully. She glares at me but shuts her mouth, taking deep breaths through her nose.
“That was the worst idea I had in my entire life,” Aliena exclaims as the elevator doors shut behind us. I walk inside to get two bottles of water, amused when I find her slouching on the floor when I return from the kitchen. She’s still catching her breath.
“You were right, you really do need to do more cardio,” I tell her, handing her a bottle.
“If you think I’ll ever run with you again, you’re sorely mistaken,” she declares instantly. I just keep smiling.
“All right. I’ll always have my phone on, then. In case you need any picking up in the middle of the night again.”
She gasps. “You didn’t just joke about that!”
“Oh, but I did. Too soon?” I ask. She simply bursts out laughing and shakes her head.
“Just right. I hate taboo topics. Coping with humor is my favorite deficit. There’s nothing worse than being treated with kid gloves.”
“All right, good. Now, I’m going downstairs to the gym, okay? You know where to find me, right?” I ask .
“Walk all the way back there, then take the stairs, right?” she recites before adding, “I can’t believe there’s a third floor to this monstrosity of an apartment.”
Since I don’t have a reply to that, I simply tell her, “Don’t forget about the bathtub, yeah? If my mother comes around soon and finds none of her gifts used, she’ll blame me.”
After a few days, I become aware of a pattern. Considering I’ve been woken up the same way every morning since Aliena first made me come eight days ago, I’d say it’s safe to say that she’s happy to touch me.
Since I haven’t been allowed to return the favor so far and couldn’t so much as steal a single kiss, I’ll say she’s not so interested in letting me touch her.
Sure, she insists she got her period soon after that first morning, which I believe since she’s been a lot grouchier recently. Grouchier and more affectionate at the same time. It’s kind of cute, to be honest.
Every evening when she comes home, I ask her about her day. Her first reaction is to snap something rude at me and I figured out quickly that it’s best to just let her be then. On the nights she eats dinner with me rather than spending that time with her parents, we eat in silence until she finally caves and apologizes.
She does the dishes, refusing to let me help as always, no matter how exhausted she clearly is. Then, something that surprised me that first time but quickly became something to look forward to, Aliena usually finds me on the couch and snuggles up to me.
So yeah, I get that she’s not in the mood to let me touch her while she’s on her period, even though I assured her I couldn’t care less about a bit of blood. Plus, she’s busy with work and her parents again.
And yet I can’t shake the feeling that those are excuses. At least partially. It’s enough to drive me crazy with doubts.
I haven’t forgotten how hard it was for her to accept my offer to move in. How she insisted it was too much and how she’s been taking up all these chores around the house since. The cooking, doing the dishes, and the grocery shopping.
I know she still thinks it’s not enough, no matter how much I try to convince her otherwise. Now, as much as I hate it, I wonder what her motives are for waking me up by kissing my neck, my chest, or, well, my more southern region.
I don’t doubt that she’s attracted to me. I’ve known differently from the day I met her. And yet, every time she denies me to touch her like I want to or finally kiss those sinful lips again, I grow a little more worried.
So much so that I’ve settled on the plan to talk to her tonight. I have to do it. Maybe then, I’ll be able to focus on school again. Or, more importantly, stop messing up at practice.
Yesterday, I was distracted enough to hit my punching bag with my pinkie and my ring finger, like an idiot. The result of that was a whole lot of pain, some of which still lasts to this point.
The only silver lining is that I haven’t heard from my dad in a while. My mom called me once, asking to see me on my upcoming birthday. Other than that, my parents left me in peace.
The same doesn’t apply for my friends, who’ve collectively been grilling me about why I haven’t thrown a party in a while. After I ditched them on new year’s, they’ve been suspicious as hell of me. I can’t blame them. It’s not my style to blow them off but I knew Aliena wasn’t in any condition to see everyone again so soon after Lily’s party, so I stayed home with her.
Not that our friends know that. I told them I went to another club with some girl I supposedly met while Aliena came up with some different excuse. No one pushed her about it. Lily made sure of that, still feeling guilty about what happened at her party even after they’ve made up.
Long story short, my friends know I’m keeping something from them. I doubt they’d ever guess what, though.
“Hey, I’m home,” Aliena yells from upstairs, dragging me from my thoughts. My eyes flick to the clock on the wall, and I curse to myself, seeing how late it is. I’m still downstairs, working out. I should have finished up and showered by now, so I’d be ready for dinner.
I grab my things and jog upstairs, greeting my roomie with my most dazzling smile. So much so that she rolls her eyes.
“It’s great to see you too, gorgeous,” I tease as I head for the stairs leading to my room. “I’ll just take a quick shower, try not to miss me too much,” I add, jogging away before she can retort anything snappy.
As soon as I enter my room and turn on the shower, my mask of ease drops away and nerves bubble up within me. For the whole duration of my quick shower, I give myself a pep talk to prepare myself for the conversation ahead. When I step out, I’m still nervous and unsure.
How do I ask my friend and roommate if she’s been sucking me off every morning because she feels obliged to repay me for letting her live here? This is bound to go wrong .
I don’t bother drying my hair before I rush back down the stairs, beckoned by the heavenly smell of something that must be Italian. Honestly, I don’t know where she learned to cook but she needs to teach me one day.
“So, I’m back. Did you manage all right without me, or do you need a hug?” I jaunt her, opening my arms welcomingly.
She throws me a withering glare. “I’m good, thanks.”
Ignoring the sting of her rejection, I make sure not to let my disappointment show. Instead, I take advantage of her lack of attention to take her in. At first glance, she seems the same as always. A little grumpy and certainly tired.
Then, I notice her hand is shaking as she stirs the bubbling sauce in the pot. I frown and look back at the side of her face, seeing her pale, bloodless lips. It takes everything I have not to reach out and ask her what’s wrong.
Sadly, she hasn’t eaten yet and I know better than to push her when she’s hangry and on her period. I opt to just ask, “You came home late. Did you swing by at your parent’s first?”
A tight-lipped nod is the only answer I get. I bite my tongue, desperate to ask more questions when I know I should just drop it. In the end, I sigh and leave her to set the table. We’ll talk later. About more than just what I prepared myself for all day, it seems.