Chapter 22
Gavin
This is how it’s supposed to be. Haddy fits just right in my arms, and her cheek is against my chest. My lips are in her dark hair, and I inhale the sweet scent of jasmine as song lyrics about wanting it all float around us.
I want it all.
“You’ve been so good to me in all of this.” Her voice is soft as she blinks those pretty blue eyes up at me. “Thank you.”
I smile, tracing my finger along her jaw. “You’re welcome, but you don’t have to thank me for taking care of what’s mine.”
Her cheeks flush, and she blinks quickly, nodding. “I’ve decided I don’t care about the past or what might or might not have happened in college. I want to give us a chance.”
As much as I’ve wanted her to say that for so long, the way she frames it makes my insides twist.
I take a step back, my expression tight. “Really, Princess? You’re still there?”
“What do you mean?” Her brow furrows. “Are you angry? I just said I don’t care about the past.”
“You should care.” I shake my head, releasing her. “If you still believe what Karen said, you shouldn’t want to be with me.”
“I’m confused. I thought this was what you wanted.”
“It is.” My chest is hot and twisted. “But I don’t want you to make peace with someone you think is capable of cheating. I want you to believe me.”
Her lips press together, and I see her take a little gulp. Her cheeks are pink, and she looks down, which makes my stomach sink.
Her voice is just above a whisper. “I want to, but it’s really hard for me. If I hadn’t seen it happen…”
My jaw tightens. Her words are a knife to the heart.
“I’m going to bed.”
“Gavin, no.” She starts to follow me. “We made tater tots.”
It’s a sad little plea, almost like she’s trying to smooth this over, but I’m not hungry anymore.
“You can have them.”
The weight of that fucking past is on my shoulders, the lies, the way I was betrayed.
I don’t know what more I can do to show Haddy I’m not that guy. I’ve tried to demonstrate my commitment. Shit, I haven’t slept with another woman since we’ve been together… and we’re not even officially together.
Like that matters. The thought of being with anyone else leaves me cold. She’s in my veins, and I’m not getting her out. I’m frustrated, and yeah, I’m fucking angry.
I hear her cleaning up downstairs when I finish brushing my teeth. I showered at the arena, and this isn’t how I envisioned the night ending when I got home.
Instead, I’m in my room, climbing into my bed alone.
Dad didn’t say how long it took for Elaine to change her mind. I should call him tomorrow for a pep talk, because I really feel defeated right now.
My arms are crossed, and I can’t seem to relax when I hear the sound of my phone buzz on the nightstand. A few seconds pass, and it buzzes again.
I don’t want to pick it up, but the pressure of wondering if it’s her finally gets the better of me. I pick up the device and yep.
Haddy
I’m sorry.
Haddy
I don’t want you to be mad at me.
Rolling onto my back, I exhale deeply, staring at the ceiling in the dark. I consider not replying, but that’s not my style. I won’t leave the mother of my child on read, especially when she’s trying to make amends.
Gavin
I’m not mad at you, Princess.
Haddy
I think you are…
Gavin
I don’t want you to settle, even if I know it’s not true. I want you to be proud to be with me.
I don’t say it, but if we ever do cross paths with Karen, I don’t want Haddy to hide or feel like she’s betrayed her friend by choosing me.
Haddy
I’m very proud of you.
Gavin
I want you to believe me.
She doesn’t reply, which I decide to mean she’s thinking about what I’ve said. Putting my phone aside, I close my eyes and somehow manage to sleep.