15. Chapter 15
All day, I replayed what I wanted to do with Sam in my head.
Still, my hands trembled a little as I eased down to my knees on the bathmat and dragged his sweats around his ankles with fumbling fingers as the shower got warm.
Sam stepped out of them, and I was face-to-face with his swollen dick in his boxer briefs.
I looked up at his wide green eyes, watching my every move, and I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat.
I shouldn’t be nervous at all. This was Sam, the man I’d known for nearly seven years.
Regardless, the nerves filled my veins because I wanted this moment to be perfect for him.
I wasn’t quite ready to jump into sex, as much as I wanted it, not tonight anyway.
We needed to explore more of each other and learn about ourselves that we never dared before.
Some men jumped right into it, but we weren’t like them.
Sam had too much trauma, and I didn’t know what he could handle or not.
So far, he seemed okay, especially if his hard cock was any indication.
Fuck, I wanted us to just suck each other off in the shower, but the hot water wouldn’t last long enough.
At least this would get us in the mood, and we could explore our bodies.
And after living on the streets, finding showers few and far between, we grew obsessed with being clean and showered every day.
We never took for granted having clean water and a shower.
“I’m going to take off your underwear,” I said.
“Okay.” His voice was breathy as he nodded.
My fingers dug inside the waistband of his underwear as I pressed soft kisses along his red happy trail, taking a deep breath of him.
While he smelled like our soap of lime and coconut, Sam had a distinct smell that belonged only to him, along with his new scent of arousal.
I had his scent forever branded into my memory after years of holding him as he struggled with sleep.
I’d already touched his dick, stroking it, but I’d yet to see it up close and personal.
As I tugged his underwear down, his cock bounced back from the waistband being pulled over it before settling.
There was a slight curve to the left, and the head was plump and flushed red.
He had more girth than I did, but it wasn’t so large that it would be uncomfortable should we have sex, or so I assumed.
But what if he didn’t want to be inside me?
Maybe he wanted me instead. We really needed to talk about these things.
His pretty dick had a couple of veins along the smooth flesh, and all was nestled in a bed of dark red curls. A bead of pre-cum formed as I looked at it.
“Fuck, Sam… You have a really gorgeous dick.” Not that I’d seen a lot of them. I may have glanced at a few on my phone.
He huffed a nervous laugh, but didn’t say anything.
As much as I wanted to start sucking him then and there, I stood and tested the water, which was now hot.
After I removed my clothes, I took his hand, led us into the tub, and turned Sam to face the spray of water.
He dunked his head under it as I grabbed the body wash, squirted some into my hands, and lathered it.
His flesh was tight under my shaking palms as I ran them over his beautiful back, and as I inched toward his pert ass, my heart rate kicked up several notches, and my stomach fluttered more than it already was.
Before I reached his ass, I ran my hands along his sides and to his pits, wiggling my fingers and making him laugh. Sam was ticklish, and doing this was an attempt to put us both at ease.
“You’re a big tease, Nathaniel Lamont.”
I snorted a laugh as he rested a hand on the cracked tiles, letting me continue to explore his body.
“You’re so beautiful, Sam. How had I not seen you in all your glory before?
” We’d always been modest with each other, careful to glance away whenever we got undressed.
As much as I would’ve loved to have seen him naked before, I didn’t need anything else to prove what I couldn’t have, but it was also out of respect for Sam.
Before I got lost in ‘ what ifs ,’ I moved my hand down, down, down to his ass, sliding over one of his cheeks.
I pressed my body against him, needing more of him as I slipped my finger between his crease, pulling out a whimper from him.
As I grazed over his hole, he shuddered and pushed his ass out into me.
I kissed along his wet back as I got used to touching my Sam.
My Sam . The idea was hard to get used to.
“I love you so much, baby,” I said. The emotions tried to take over my arousal and started to grow overwhelming. I wanted to explode from years of pent-up love, desire, and need, but I couldn’t. It would ruin the moment, and I wanted tonight to be perfect.
Sam turned around, grabbed my face, and pulled me into a kiss. I groaned into his mouth from feeling our cocks rubbing against each other.
“I fucking love you,” he said over my lips.
Tingles and goosebumps traveled along my skin from his heartfelt and determined words, which left no doubt of his feelings for me.
He reached around me, grabbed the body wash, lathered his hands as I’d done, and soaped up my body. “I still can’t believe we’re here, touching each other like this. It’s fucking surreal, Nate. Sometimes I question if it’s even real or just another fantasy of mine.”
“God, I’m the same way.” I grabbed Sam’s hand and placed it on my chest so he knew how hard my heart was hammering for him. “My heart punching through my chest is for you.” He smiled and leaned down to give me a slow and languid kiss, as if tasting each other for the first time.
I didn’t know if other couples felt this way when they first got together, but I understood enough that years of wanting someone could leave you conflicted about the reality of the situation while the need for more consumed your senses.
But I wanted intimacy, not only the sex.
I loved holding Sam next to me. All those years I’d comforted him, I pretended he belonged to me, and I belonged to him, that my arms wrapped around him was my way of claiming him.
But the last thing Sam needed was just to fuck around with me.
He’d been through so much and was told sex with a man was evil and disgusting.
He needed to understand that with sex, there could be love and tenderness, too.
“Let’s get out. I need more, baby… so much more,” I said.
“Me too. My cock is about to explode if it doesn’t get some relief soon.”
I laughed at his words and my internal thoughts about intimacy. Sam seemed perfectly fine and accepting of being with a man. My worries that he wouldn’t want just to mess around left me as we dried each other off.
We dropped our wet towels on the floor as we rushed back to his bedroom and fell onto his bed, groping and kissing each other senselessly and breathlessly, making up for lost years.
My dick grew achingly hard and throbbed, but I needed to be patient. I wanted Sam to go first.
I sat up, grabbed his wrists, and pushed him onto his back.
After a quick kiss on his lips, I let him go and worked my way down his body with my mouth.
When I reached one of his nipples, I took the tiny bud between my teeth and tugged, remembering what Stone had said.
It wasn’t only about giving Sam a blow job.
I wanted to build up the need, but I had to pay attention to his reactions, as Stone had explained.
I recalled Sam loving the attention I’d given his nipples the last time, so I focused on them, nipping and licking them.
He groaned and thrust his cock into me as his hands reached for my hair, tangling his fingers in my curls.
“Do you like that?” I asked, just in case. Stone also told me to talk and ask about Sam’s likes and needs.
“Fuck yeah… I need more, Star.”
Star ? Where’d that come from? Then I remembered him saying I was his northern star, his Polaris. I smiled at the endearment, feeling even more special to him. I think I’d always been special to him, but this sealed the deal.
I worked my way down his stomach, more than eager to reach his cock, desperate to please him.
As Sam grew more vocal, so did my confidence.
Finally, I’d reached my destination. His cock was angry-red at this point and leaking everywhere. I licked my lips and drooled at the sight.
“Nate… please. I’m dying here.”
“I’ve got you.”
Without waiting for another beat, I swiped my tongue along his hard length.
Sam cried out and arched his back for more, encouraging me to keep going.
I recalled my lesson from Stone and did my best to please Sam, running my tongue over and around his length and teasing his tip.
He tasted salty and earthy. I wanted more. So much more.
Sitting up on my knees, I grabbed the base of his dick and bent over, meeting his green eyes, blown to black.
His fisted hands strangled the sheets, and his eyes rolled up into his head when I took his dick into my mouth.
I couldn’t go very deep, but I was sure it wouldn’t matter.
I needed to practice more, anyway, trying to be realistic that the first time I did this wouldn’t be mind-blowing.
His fisted hands let go of the sheets and headed straight for my hair as Sam whimpered and groaned. Fuck, I loved his little noises. I had no idea he’d be this responsive, and I relished every bit of it.
“God, you’re really doing it. This is real, right?”
I moaned around him in response and bobbed my head, pushing him deeper into my mouth each time. At one point, Sam thrust into my throat, and I gagged, needing to pop off.
Shit, there was so much saliva, and it dripped everywhere. I used it as lube and stroked his dick as I continued to suck him. It was hard to remember to use my tongue as I did, but I tried.
“Fuck, Star… so good. So good. More.”
While I felt inadequate at the job I was doing, his words made me preen with confidence. Even if it was awkward and messy, and I could barely get half of him down my throat, his words were motivating and kept me going.
Damn, I needed to focus on other areas and not just his cock. When I popped off him again, he cried out, making me chuckle.
“Don’t worry, you’ll finish, but not yet. I don’t want this to be over yet.”
“Nate! No…” he whined.
I grabbed the backs of his thighs and pushed them back, exposing his pink hole that moved open and closed as if sensing what I was about to do. The skin there glistened, covered in my spit. One day my cock would be in there, but not today.
I leaned down, pressing kisses on the backs of his legs, before I took one of his balls into my mouth and suckled it, rolling it along my tongue.
“Fuck… yes.”
After sucking on his balls for a while, I kissed and licked my way down his taint and to his hole. Without hesitation, I swiped the tip of my tongue in a swirl over the tight ring of muscle.
Sam had been so vocal with his words and cute noises the entire time, but now his groan turned guttural and needy.
“Oh, my god… god… fuck. Holy hell…”
His hands worked their way into my hair again and tugged at the strands as he spread his legs, opening up for me. Soon, the muscle became loose enough so that I could insert the tip of my tongue inside.
I thrived on his whimpers and moans. Sam completely opened up to me, inside and out, and solely focused.
As much as I wanted to linger, he needed relief, so I set his legs back down on the bed and attacked his dick again. It was so hot in my mouth and hand, throbbing and leaking. I loved his flavor and couldn’t wait to swallow his cum.
With one hand fisting his length and the other cupping his balls, it didn’t take Sam long to cum. He tried to warn me, but I wouldn’t stop until he was finished. I needed to have all of him. There was a lot of cum, and I tried to swallow all of it, but some dribbled out of my mouth.
I sat up on my knees and wiped my face with the back of my hand as I watched Sam looking fucking gorgeous, lying there unmoving and breathing hard with a crooked, stupid grin on his face, which pulled out my own smile.
I did that to him. It made me feel strangely proud and powerful that I turned him into sex-drugged mush, even with my lack of experience.
Finally .
I finally got to have my Sam as I had imagined him in my fantasies. Hell, it was even better than my fantasies, and not only because this was real. There was just no way to imagine all of Sam’s reactions.
“I think you’ve killed me.”
I snorted a laugh and lay down next to him.
“You seem alive to me. Very much so.”
“Give me a second. I need time to feel muscles again.”
I kissed one of his nipples. “Are you okay?” Yes, he came and enjoyed it, but I worried about digressing thoughts when he started to recover.
“I couldn’t feel more fucking perfect.”