16. Chapter 16
That really just happened.
Nate sucked me off, and it was better than anything I could’ve imagined, and I’d imagined it all the time. My fantasies were a joke in comparison. He tried so hard to please me, and I fucking loved him for it. And god, he’d licked my ass. That was so hot, and I nearly nutted right then.
I lay there in bed with a completely numb and satiated body, and my mind was calm for now, focused on Nate, my star. He was curled up in my arms, dragging gentle fingers along my bare chest, his hard dick pressed up against me. I needed to take care of that in a minute.
My mind flashed to all my fantasies of me on my knees as he towered above me, fisting my hair as he fucked my face.
Would Nate be into that? He was so gentle and sweet, caring about all my needs.
Could I ask him? Shit, my face burned at the thought, but I wanted to do to him what he did to me. I needed to taste him, to please him.
Sadness suddenly crashed over me like a storming ocean wave from the years lost when we could’ve had each other sooner.
I’d been too quiet, too scared. I thought it would’ve been easier to stay silent, but now that I’ve had a little taste of Nate and that he wanted me, too, my reaction and hesitance had been such a waste—all those things I’d missed—his love, his touch, his kisses…
Stupid, stupid, stupid .
If I had only reached out to him sooner. God, I was an idiot. I hadn’t reached out to him. It took Nate secretly kissing me and him telling me about his feelings to finally get me to admit mine. Shit, if he hadn’t done that, I’d still be in that rut, wishing and wanting but never having.
What if he hadn’t kissed me? What if we’d lived the rest of our lives never knowing?
“Sam…”
“Huh?”
Nate touched my face, pulling me to look at him with gentle fingers. They were always gentle. I was obsessed with Nate’s fingers. They represented so much power in their tenderness. I didn’t like other fingers. Just his.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
His brows furrowed as I pulled away from him and hovered over his body. “I’m not okay because you’re still hard.”
Nate’s concerned face morphed into a massive smile. “My guy is aching pretty good right now.”
“Let’s fix that, then. I’ll make it all better for you, Star.”
“I won’t say no.”
Nate fell onto his back, tucked his hands behind his head, and spread his legs.
So bold and confident. His cock was uncut and darker than the rest of his skin, as if to draw my attention to it.
I loved how he opened up so easily to me.
I hadn’t been like that when he went down on me.
My body had been tight, and I trembled from nerves, but I wanted him so much my body literally ached for him.
“Can I do it with you standing?”
He sat up and nodded. “Sure. Where do you want me?”
I pointed in front of the bed. “Just there.”
When Nate stood as directed, he waited patiently for me to let him know what I wanted. He was always patient. Nate never yelled, got mad, rolled his eyes, told me how annoying I was because I forgot shit all the time, or from being so insecure that I needed constant reassurance—
Nate grabbed my hand, pulled me to stand from the bed, and kissed me like he could tell when my mind drifted, trying to float away to another destination.
“Now what, baby?” he asked.
I slowly fell to my knees, the stitches now gone and barely a bruise on my kneecap anymore, and looked up at my shining star, the love of my life, my everything. “This is how I always imagined it, with me being on my knees for you, worshiping your cock.”
Nate’s breath hitched, and his hand went to my hair, taking a handful of it. Yes, this was what I wanted. How easily he read and understood me. “You mean like this? Me controlling you?”
“Please…”
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Sam.”
“Neither do I. I just… need you to make me please you.”
While still gripping my hair, Nate grazed a finger over my bottom lip with his free hand, leaving behind a trail of electric tingles. “I’ll try my best, then.”
My stomach dipped, and my heart raced as I waited for his instructions. Nate always led the way, and I was confident he could do this, too. I needed it, and it had always been this way in my fantasies.
“Open your mouth for me, baby.”
When I did as instructed, Nate pulled my head back by my hair, grabbed his dick, pulled back the foreskin, and eased it into my eager and awaiting mouth.
Despite trying to take control, he was gentle with me, careful not to choke me, but I needed more.
Only the tip entered my mouth, but I still tasted his bitterness leaking from him with promises for more.
“Keep your hands in your lap,” he instructed.
My hands folded onto my thighs, but because Nate was too tentative with my mouth, I leaned forward and eased his dick in further, never taking my eyes off him.
He raised a brow. “Who said you could do that?”
My body shuddered and burned with his playful disapproval. Now he was getting it.
Control me. Tell me what to do. Keep me focused .
“In your fantasies, do I talk dirty to you?”
I nodded with my mouth full of dick. His dick. Nate’s dick. The reality of the moment suddenly hit me that I was on my knees for my best friend with his cock in my mouth. Only in dreams had this been possible. My spent dick tried to flutter back to life. It wouldn’t take much to get hard again.
I whined when he pulled out. “Use your words.”
“Tell me all that I need to do, Star.” I swallowed my embarrassment as my face heated. “Tell me how to please you.”
He nodded and touched my lips with the head of his dick. I opened up again, and he eased it in. It was so hot on my tongue and so hard. Slowly, he pulled out and pushed back in. Yes, this was what I wanted, but more. So much more.
“You want more, baby?”
I nodded and grunted around him.
He eased himself deep inside until I nearly had all of him in my mouth. Nate’s eyes widened. “Fuck me. Look how deeply you take me, and you’re not even gagging. Jesus, baby.”
I sat up straighter, feeling proud to please him. It was the least I could do for all he did for me.
Nate thrust faster into my mouth, making me drool everywhere. Saliva dripped down my chin, jaw, and along my throat, but I didn’t care. My star was turned on, and I was pleased with myself.
“Use your tongue, especially around the head. You know what you like. Do that to me.”
My tongue moved around, exploring his length, and whenever Nate groaned and shuttered his eyes, I did it again and again.
“What an amazing mouth you have, baby.”
Suddenly, Nate hissed. “Careful with the teeth, though.”
I tightened my mouth around him, not wanting to hurt him as he moved faster.
His head was thrown back, and his eyes were closed.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck… I had no idea it would feel this good,” he moaned before looking back down at me.
Nate panted, a sheen of sweat glistening on his face, and his full, swollen lips were parted.
He gently touched my face while yanking my hair tighter.
The two sensations were confusing, yet they made perfect sense.
“This mouth was made to blow me. You feel so good wrapped around me.”
I ate up his praise, needing to hear it. I wanted to please him more than I needed to breathe.
“You can use your hands now. Touch me, stroke me, whatever you want, baby.”
I didn’t hesitate to cup his balls, kneading and rolling them gently as he fucked my face while my other hand touched the smooth skin along his ass.
But as soon as my fingers grazed his hole, Nate froze, yanking my hair painfully, and I didn’t stop him as he filled my mouth with his cum.
I hadn’t expected the rush of it, but I did my best to drink him all down.
“Oh god… Sam. My Sam.”
Suddenly, he let go, pulled out of my mouth, and dropped to his knees in front of me, resting his head on my shoulder and panting. I pulled him closer to me and held him, enjoying his flavor on my tongue and strangely proud of myself for making Nate come and having him cry out for me as he did.
He wrapped his arms around me so tightly that his heart beat hard against my chest, keeping my attention solely on Nate and his body.
Once he started to calm down, he pressed sweaty and gentle kisses along my shoulder, moving up along my throat to my lips.
We stayed like that for who knew how long before he stood, helped me up, and led us back into my bed.
We became a mess of tangled limbs, trying to get as close to each other as possible. My fingers twirled in his still-damp curls as his fingers traveled along my back in soothing motions.
“God, I want more of that, Sam. So much more. That was perfect. You were perfect.”
I hadn’t realized I’d been tense, worried about his reaction afterward, flooded with questions and insecurities about how I did sexually, if I was good enough, or if he found it weird to have him control me.
Maybe Nate didn’t want to control the sex since he was in charge of everything else.
Maybe he wanted a break from everything and not to think so much.
What if he got tired of me? God, the last thing I wanted was for him to grow bored.
But my taking charge seemed daunting. Would I be able to focus enough to do it?
A soft kiss on my lips pulled me back into the moment. “Was that okay?” Nate asked.
“So perfect and better than I’d ever imagined.”
“It was perfect. Not bad for a couple of first-timers.”
I snorted a laugh. “The awkwardness wasn’t even off-putting, like we were in this together, so it wasn’t so bad.”
“Exactly!”
Nate nuzzled his face closer to my chest. “So, do you like S&M or something?”
Did I? No, I didn’t want to hurt for pleasure. “Not really. I just like you telling me what to do and taking control. If you’re weirded out, we don’t have to do it.”
Nate adjusted himself so he could look at me, resting his head on one of my pillows. “I found it kind of hot, though I had no idea what I was doing.”
“You did amazingly.”
“What about sex?” he asked.
“What about it?”
“Do you want to try it, and if so, do you want to fuck me or me fuck you? Or maybe we both share in that experience.”
In all my fantasies, it had been Nate fucking me.
But now that I’d had a taste of him, I wouldn’t mind being inside him either, though I think I would prefer he was inside me.
“I might like both. It all depends on how it makes us feel during that time, I guess, but I think I would like you to do it more, not that I know what sex is like at all.”
He smiled and nuzzled back into me. “I like that idea.” After taking a deep breath of me, he sighed. “I had no idea sex had a smell. You smell so fucking good. Yummy, even.”
Now that he’d mentioned it, I noticed it, too.
I yawned as my eyes drooped. I’d never been more content and relaxed.
“I’ll ask Stix about the sex stuff,” Nate said.
“Mmm, don’t. Let’s figure it out together.”
He yawned, too. “Okay.”