17. Chapter 17
Nate sat at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal and making a list of something.
He looked cute in his oversized pink hoodie with the hood covering his head.
A poof of dark curls spilled over his forehead as he bent over writing.
It was pretty cold in here today, so I also wore a hoodie and thick socks, one of the few without holes.
“Morning,” I said.
He looked up and smiled, making my heart flutter. I loved seeing him smiling, but now that we’d had some sexual fun, his smile seemed different somehow, like it was filled with knowing or showing a secret only we shared. “Hey.”
I stepped up to the coffee maker, grabbed a mug, and poured myself a cup of coffee before filling it up with milk and too much sugar. Then, I sat at the table with him.
“What are you doing?”
“Making a grocery list,” he said, opening up an envelope and going through the coupons he’d saved.
“We’re out of most things, and we have nothing for dinner other than cereal and one box of macaroni and cheese.
I’ll have to get it done quickly because I need to be at Alpha’s in a few hours to go over some extra training for waiting tables. ”
“Let me do it.” I sucked at grocery shopping. I tended to buy things we didn’t need because I wanted them or bought too many of one thing because I’d forgotten I’d bought it already.
While I made more money than Nate did through tips, and money coming in wasn’t too bad, we went through it like water between rent, utilities, Wi-Fi, phones, food, and other necessities. And we had a two-bedroom apartment, which really increased our rent.
I wanted to contribute. Nate did everything.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. We cleaned the apartment together, paid bills together, and generally grocery shopped together.
But I didn’t really do anything by myself unless it was bartending.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t do them, although I sucked at cleaning since I easily got diverted to something else, but Nate said those were things we should do together, anyway.
To be fair, I’d forgotten to pay bills before, too.
Once we got a warning about our electricity being turned off because I could’ve sworn I’d paid the bill when I hadn’t.
With a grocery list and the coupons in my hand, I knew I could do this for him.
“You sure?” he asked.
“Sam?”
I must have had one of my blank moments because I stood there looking at Nate with concern in his eyes.
“Huh?”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“Yes, I’m sure. I want to help. You go see Alpha, and I’ll take care of the groceries.”
“Thanks, baby. I appreciate this. I was worried about whether I would finish on time and not be late to Alpha’s.”
I leaned in, and Nate leaned in with me, wearing a smirk on his face. Then I kissed his lips, which were sweet from his cereal. “I got this.”
“I know you do.” He sat up and slid the note to me. “Here’s everything we need, and I’ve sorted out the coupons to match the list. Just pay for everything on our debit card. We don’t need anything extra beyond what’s on the list, but if you want to buy something like cookies, go for it.”
“Sounds good.”
“Okay, I’m off to take a shower. Call me if you have any questions about the list.”
“I will.”
“And don’t forget your earbuds.”
I smiled. “I won’t.”
“But if you get too stressed or the store is too crowded, just come home, and I’ll deal with it later and figure something out.”
I stood and pecked his lips with mine to shut him up. “I’ve got it.”
His smile was meekish. “I’m sorry. I know you do.”
I slowly pushed the shopping cart down the aisles, looking at everything.
There were so many good things on sale that I wanted to dump into the cart, so I had to double-check to see if the product was on Nate’s list or not.
It never was. I deflated in disappointment as I passed the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that had a dollar-off coupon.
But then I stopped before moving on. Nate had said I could grab a treat for myself, right? With a burst of renewed energy, I grabbed three plastic containers full of cookies. Since they were on sale, grabbing several should be okay, right?
When I got to the shampoo and soap aisle, I stopped in front of the body wash.
The one that we used was on sale, too. It smelled so fucking good on Nate.
I grabbed the bottle that read ‘Lime buy two, get one free.”
His smile broadened. “So you were thinking about me when you bought them?”
I chewed on my lip ring and nodded.
“You’re so sweet, baby.”
But I wasn’t having it. He couldn’t make me believe for one second he wasn’t upset. Now, we’d have to scramble to make money before our bank started charging us fees.
“How can you make light of this? I’m a fucking failure. I can’t do anything right!”
“Stop it, Sam!” Nate, snapping at me, yanked my attention back to him because he never snapped at me.
“This isn’t the fucking end of the world.
It’s a small thing in the grand scheme of life.
It doesn’t make you a failure, and you’re amazing at so many things like skateboarding, bartending, giving blow jobs…
” I struggled to hide my smile. “Not everyone is good at grocery shopping. Hell, I’ve forgotten to use the coupons I cut out before, too. This is fixable.”
I wanted to believe him. He was my star, and he wouldn’t lie to me about this, right? But I couldn’t help the feelings of inadequacy. It was like I couldn’t do basic grown-up shit.
Nate took my hands and met my eyes again.
“You helped me out so much today. So, you spent more than I expected. It is what it is, and that is not a failure on your part. We’ll figure this out.
I promise.” He squeezed my hands and shook his head when I was about to open my mouth to argue.
“You are an amazing soul, Sam. Are you perfect? Nope. Neither am I. It’s not fair to put so much on ourselves when we all make mistakes.
It was my fault for not telling you about our budget. I forgot. That’s all on me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed, but I was still filled with doubt.
“Now, let’s have a quick dinner and get ready for work. You’re going to have an amazing night. You always make tons of money in tips on Friday nights, and you always have so much fun.”
That finally pulled a smile from me. “It is fun.”
Nate was still on his knees when he reached up and pulled me down for a kiss that was much too quick before kissing my forehead. “I love you so much. No more worries.”
I nodded. “I love you, too.”