19. Chapter 19
While I understood how to serve tables since I’d been working at Alpha’s for a while now, Stix had to spot me and make sure I got everything right and worked quickly enough. Drunk people could be fucking demanding.
There was a punk band playing tonight, so the place was loud as hell and crowded.
I kept checking on Sam to make sure he still had his earbuds and wasn’t stressing out.
If he wore one of his too-bright smiles, I knew things were getting tense for him, so I’d make him take quick breaks and go for a smoke in the alley where it was quieter.
On the whole, Sam had been doing okay tonight.
But when I looked over this time, Sam’s smile turned too broad and strained, shaking his head.
My body instantly tensed. Something was fucking wrong.
That wasn’t just stress. Someone was being cruel to him.
I knew the difference. Sam had fear in his eyes.
“Hey, buddy! We’re trying to order something,” one of the customers snapped at me over the music, but I was too focused on Sam.
My eyes suddenly pinged on three dudes, pointing angrily at him. Sam kept shaking his head, smiling so wide that it looked painful, and trying to back away, but the row of liquor bottles stopped him.
“Hey! We’re trying to order drinks here!”
“In a minute,” I snapped over the loud music.
I scanned the bar, looking for Stone and Ajax. Stone was busy checking IDs at the front, while Ajax couldn’t be seen anywhere, probably on a break or in the restroom. Then I looked for Alpha, but he was probably in his office because I didn’t see him at his usual spot behind the bar with Sam.
Dammit.
Then one of the assholes reached over the bar and grabbed Sam by the front of his T-shirt, pulling him practically over the counter, yelling at him. Sam instantly stopped smiling as the panic took over, not even trying to rationalize with the asshole.
Instinct took over when I dropped my empty tray on the floor, ignoring the bitching from my table, and forcing my way through the crowd to reach Sam.
I saw fucking red when the asshole’s friend yanked one of Sam’s earbuds out, dropped it on the counter, and smashed it with the bottom of the empty beer bottle.
I became singularly focused as I shoved people out of my way, ignoring the complaints and running toward Sam. As soon as I reached the dickhead holding Sam, I jumped on his back, wrapped my legs around his waist, and put his throat in a stranglehold.
“Let him fucking go, asshole. I’ll kill you!”
“Off, you fucker!”
He tried to throw me off, but I wrapped my legs around him tighter and choked him harder, holding my forearm with my other hand for extra strength.
The asshole was bigger than me, but it didn’t matter.
I had rage on my side. My body burned with a fire I hadn’t felt since the day I took Sam out of that home when we were teens. “Don’t you ever fucking touch him!”
One of the other pricks ripped me off his friend’s back as if I weighed nothing.
I thrashed and kicked the guy I’d been holding in the face.
His nose spurted blood, and he dropped. I smiled before a searing pain stabbed me in my kidney.
A fist had landed there, and when he let me go, I fell on my hands and knees, but I recovered quickly and slammed my fist into his balls.
He screamed before I was lifted off the ground again as I squirmed and fought them off. “Let me fucking go! I’ll kill you all, you motherfuckers!”
Suddenly, it was mayhem. For the first time, Sam jumped over the counter of the bar and lunged at the guy who I assumed had punched me. Ajax had finally made an appearance, along with Stix and Stone.
The bar turned into a melee of chaos at the bar, punching, kicking, clawing, biting, and swearing.
Stone and Ajax were the biggest and ripped the assholes off the rest of us.
That was when I noticed the band had stopped playing, and the crowd was watching this shitshow in excitement with bloodlust in their eyes.
Someone’s fist swung and got me in the eye. I went down, blacking out for a second, but rage was my friend. I popped up and jumped on the asshole’s back again, punching him in the throat.
“Enough!” It was Alpha’s voice that got everyone to freeze. He stood there with anger on his face and carrying a gun casually at his side. “What the fuck is going on in my goddamn bar?!”
I pointed to one of the guys messing with Sam. “This prick grabbed Sam by his shirt and yelled at him when his friend there ripped his earbud out and smashed it on the counter.”
The dick who had grabbed Sam pointed at him. “I’d been trying to order, but he’s a fucking moron! He kept smiling and shaking his head. I just wanted a goddamn beer, and he’s being a dick!”
I wiped the stinging blood dripping from my eye and glanced at Sam, who was now hugging himself and in a full-blown panic.
Fuck .
I rushed over to Sam and held him. “It’s okay.”
“I can’t breathe… breathe. Need… air…”
My hands gripped his face and forced him to look at me. “Breathe through your nose four times.”
“I can’t…”
“You can.”
Sam’s green eyes focused on me, and even through his panic, he held trust there. He tried to breathe through his nose several times, copying me.
“Hold your breath until I count to seven. One… two…” When I reached seven, he exhaled. “Good, now blow out hard several times.”
We repeated the process several times before he finally calmed down. His eyes watered, and he gripped my forearms while my hands were still holding his face. “I’m so sorry. I just…”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault.”
“So you pricks just thought it would be okay to attack one of my employees because he wasn’t moving fast enough for you? Do I have that right?” Alpha demanded, looking imposing with his tattooed muscular arms and the gun at his side.
The assholes folded their meaty arms over their chests and shrugged. They had no fucking excuse for how they treated my Sam.
“You’re banned from this bar permanently. If you’re ever unsatisfied with any sort of service, you look for help like a fucking adult. You do not attack my employees. Is that fucking understood?”
“Fuck you, man!” One of them spat. “This bar sucks, anyway. We’re going to sue your ass for assault.”
“Try it. I have cameras that caught the entire thing. My lawyers will be sure to know who started it, and my employees have a right to defend themselves. Now get the fuck out.”
When they didn’t move fast enough, Alpha grabbed the closest one by his shirt and dragged him toward the front door. “Ajax! Stone! Escort the other two gentlemen out, if you would. The rest of you! Back to work!”
As the dickheads were led out, I held Sam close to me. “Are you okay, baby?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry about the earbud.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“You always say that!” He tried to push away from me, but I held him tighter. “It’s always my fault! I make everyone angry, and I always fucking mess everything up!”
“No, you don’t.”
I stood and helped him up. “Come on. Let’s get some air.”
“No, I… need to get back to work.”
“Sam…”
“God, please, Nate. Just let me…” As he walked off, he stopped and turned around, not looking at me with sagging shoulders. “Do you have my other set of earbuds?”
“Yeah, sure.” I dug into the pocket of my jeans and handed him the charging case with his other set.
When he took it, he finally looked at me with sheepish eyes. He reached for my face, which was still bleeding. “I’m so sorry, Nate,” he said before he went back to work.
I didn’t bother to tell him it wasn’t his fault again or chase after him.
We would talk about this later when he calmed down.
Hell, I needed to calm down, too. My blood still pumped way too fast, and I was still fucking pissed someone dared try to hurt Sam, but I shook it off and returned to work. Sam was safe.
I yawned as I gently pulled away from Sam’s hold and climbed out of bed.
We had a long night last night. Once the bar closed, Alpha lectured the hell out of us, especially me, for getting violent and that I should’ve grabbed Stone or Ajax first before confronting three men who’d gotten rough with Sam.
But Alpha didn’t understand. I just reacted.
Sam was my responsibility, and no one was going to fucking touch him, and there had been no time to grab the others.
I didn’t bother to argue with Alpha, though. We all listened to him lecture us, and when he finally relaxed, he told us he was grateful we weren’t hurt worse and to close up the bar.
My body was running on fumes, but I couldn’t rest, and my mind was moving a million miles a minute, still hyped up from last night.
I needed to get up and get bathed so I could look for a job today.
There was no way around it. Replacing Sam’s earbuds would be another two hundred bucks down the drain, and our account was already overdrawn from his grocery shopping, so we had to pay the fees back with our tips.
As much as I wanted to kiss his sleeping face, I left him alone. It was rare he slept this well.
By the time I showered and had my coffee, Sam woke up and stumbled into the kitchen, scratching his back.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“I’ve… got to look for another job.”
I hadn’t wanted to tell him because I knew he would feel guilty, but he needed to know where I was going to be if I found work and that I wouldn’t be home.
Sam started to pace in the kitchen, ran a hand through his mussed red strands, and then started tugging on them.
“No! I’ll do it. It’s all my fault. Everything is my fault.
If I had reacted faster to that guy last night, none of this would’ve happened, and my earbuds wouldn’t be broken.
Fuck, I get everything wrong. And the shopping.
God, I messed up. You shouldn’t have to take up the slack for my mistakes.
I’m not normal. Why can’t I just be normal?
I’m such a fuck up. Is that why my parents sent me—”
I stopped his pacing and pulled him into a hug. “Stop it. Your parents are insane. No one is fucking normal, Sam. And you’re perfect the way you are.”
“Stop saying those things!”
“Sam, are you accusing me of lying?”
“What?”
“Do you think I’m lying to you?”
“I, ah… No, you’re placating me.”
“When I say you’re perfect, I don’t mean that you can do no wrong. I just mean I love you for you… just how you are. That’s it. Do you mess up? Yes. Do I? Yes. No one is perfect, Sam.”
“I just don’t always understand your patience with me when everyone else gets so annoyed.”
I grabbed his face to force him to look at me.
“Your friends are patient, too. Alpha is patient. You are patient. We all take care of each other. It’s just that I’m around you all the time and understand you, and you understand me.
You are you, baby. I love all that you are. You clearly don’t see what I do.”
His eyes watered, and he bit his bottom lip. “You shouldn’t have to get a second job.”
“Life isn’t fair. Getting a second job is a hundred times better than living on the streets again. It’s fine. Now, I need to go. Wish me luck.”
He let out a loud sigh. “Good luck.”
Sam leaned forward and pecked my lips. I kissed him back and left the apartment.
I should’ve waited until I had healed after the bar fight. No one wanted to hire a guy whose face was bruised and battered. There were also some businesses forcing me to apply online. I hated filling out shit on my phone. It was a pain.
When my bruises were gone, I’d try again. I stepped into our apartment, a sense of defeat weighing on my shoulders, and found Sam on the couch with the TV on, looking at me. “Well?”
“No luck. I look like I came out of a brawl, which I did.”
I fell onto the couch and rested my head on Sam’s shoulder. “You’ll find something. Maybe that grocery store where Stix works during the day is hiring.”
“They might. I’ll ask him next time I see him.”
“Are we going to be okay?”
I lifted my head to look at him. “Us or the money?”
He shrugged. “Both?”
“We’re definitely okay, baby. The money is fine for now. I only want that second job to protect us from financial emergencies. You know, like rainy day shit or like that day you needed stitches. Money is really tight right now, but working a couple of more days with the tips, and we’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
Sam nodded and kissed my head. “Yep, I’m going to try trusting you. It’s just my…”
“I understand. You’ve got insecurity issues. We all do. Yours are completely understandable after everything you’ve been through. Hell, I’ve got abandonment issues, so we’re even.”
We entwined our fingers together, his touch putting me instantly at ease.
“Nate? I realize this is random, but have you thought about looking up your parents? I know you said you never wanted to, but that was a few years ago. Things change. I never looked up mine again. I just ran until the cops picked me up and dumped me into the system.”
“Why are you thinking about contacting your parents now?”
He shook his head. “I wondered if maybe, just to… I don’t know…”
“See if they changed?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve thought about trying to find mine, too. Maybe one day when I’m mentally stronger.”
“You’re the strongest person I know.”
I leaned forward and kissed his lips, loving that I could do that freely. “Not for this, I’m not.”