42. Ashley
CHAPTER 42
ASHLEY
FOUR WEEKS LATER
I step out of my room and find my roommates—Fiona, Lauren, and Kerrie—getting ready for their bi-weekly D&D game night. Fiona and Lauren are theater majors, and Kerrie is a film major like Gia. I met them during my second semester at Hannaford U—the lowest period of my life—and they were a breath of fresh air. None of them gave a crap about hockey, or jocks in general, so hanging out with them was a no-brainer.
That meant I spent less time with Kadence and Scarlett, and eventually, we stopped hanging out altogether. I don’t even know what they’re up to these days.
I met Gia through Kerrie, and even though Gia wound up working for the Warriors, she became one of my best friends. It’s funny how life works sometimes. And then there’s Blair, the only friend who survived the post-Sean-breakup aftermath.
My roommates turn, and Fiona whistles. “You look fancy.”
I run my hand over my dress’s full skirt. “I’m going to a fundraiser. Who’s coming tonight?”
“The usual suspects—Donnie, Patricia, and Jackson,” Kerrie replies.
The doorbell rings, but since the girls are expecting company, it could be either their D&D party or Brian.
“It’s open,” Lauren shouts.
Brian walks in, looking sharp in his suit. His tousled brown hair is styled back, and he’s not wearing his glasses tonight. I wait for the butterflies to awaken, but they remain quiet. I haven’t felt any significant reaction to him since my moment with Sean at The Heritage. My relationship with Brian was fine until Sean fucked it all up. I hate that man.
“Wow. You look breathtaking,” he says.
“Thanks. You look nice too.”
He gives me a quick peck on the lips, then he turns to my roommates. “Hello ladies.”
“Hi Brian,” they greet in unison.
“So, big campaign tonight?” He walks to the dining room table to inspect their game setup.
Our house is five blocks from campus, and even though it’d be more convenient to be closer, we opted for renting a bigger house. It has four bedrooms—two of those with ensuite bathrooms—plus a large living room and kitchen, and a decent-size backyard. We also have a laundry room, which means no more visits to the laundromat. My roommates have similar tastes to mine—cozy and cool—and they let me hang my art on the walls. I love living here.
“Just the usual, but it’ll probably run late,” Fiona replies.
“No worries. We’re staying at my place tonight.”
That’s news to me. “We are?”
He turns, looking guilty. “Yeah. My roommate won’t be home. We have the place all to ourselves.”
I force a smile. “Can’t wait.”
“Maybe you want to pack an overnight bag, since you refuse to leave clothes at my place.”
“Sure. I’ll be right back.”
I rush to my room. If he’d told me about this change of plans, I would have packed a bag already. I’m usually not keen to spend the night at Brian’s, because my place is nicer. Maybe that’s why I’m reluctant to leave any of my things in his apartment.
I grab my toothbrush, PJs, a change of underwear, comfy clothes and shoes for tomorrow, and most important, condoms. Even though I’m on the pill, I make Brian wear them. But he’s been trying to convince me to forget them. He even showed me his negative test result.
The idea of an accidental pregnancy gives me hives though. After that initial mistake, I risked it with Sean only because I wasn’t terrified of having a kid with him.
When I return to the living room, the rest of the D&D party is already there. Brian turns to me and smiles. “Ready?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
I ’m glad I was able to convince Gia and Blair to come to the fundraiser with Noah and Alex. I don’t think I could stand an entire evening alone with Brian. It’s getting harder to pretend I’m as into him as he is me. He fell first, even before we started going out. I’d hoped I’d catch feelings for him. Now I know it isn’t going to happen. I shouldn’t string him along, but I don’t want to be the bitch who breaks up with someone so close to Valentine’s Day. I’ll wait until after.
I’m not sure what’s with Brian tonight though. He’s more clingy than usual. Maybe he can sense the relationship is doomed, and he’s trying to salvage it. All he’s accomplishing is to irritate me.
Dinner is served buffet style, and when Alex returns to the table after hitting the buffet a second time, he has a mountain of jumbo shrimp on his plate.
Blair’s eyes widen. “Oh my God, Alex.”
“What? I’m a big boy.”
“Dude, did you leave any shrimp for the rest of us?” Noah asks.
“Relax, Kingsley. There’s plenty more. Besides, I’m also eating Gia’s share.”
Noah makes a face. “Uh, shouldn’t I be eating her share since it’s my baby who’s making her hate shrimp?”
Gia grimaces. “How about no one eats the shrimp? Even the smell is making me nauseous.”
Alex slides his plate farther way from her. “Sorry. I’ll eat fast.”
“To be fair, that smell is making me sick too. Are you sure the shrimp isn’t bad?” I ask.
“The shrimp is fine.” Alex eats an entire shrimp in one bite, then adds, “Maybe you’re preggers too.”
The blood seems to drain from my face. “The hell I am.”
Brian squeezes my thigh under the table. “It wouldn’t be the end of the world if you were.”
I gawk at him. Is he serious? “Actually, it would. I don’t wanna have kids.”
He winces. “Like… never?”
With you, yes, never.
“I don’t know how I’ll feel about it in ten years, but right now, I don’t see myself as a mother.”
“I think a lot of women feel that way until they actually go through with it,” he replies, then looks at Gia. “Am I right?”
“I can’t speak for every woman on the planet,” she replies.
“And didn’t you apply to that art residency program in Europe?” Blair pipes up.
Shit. I wish she hadn’t said anything, because I haven’t told Brian that.
“What art residency program?” Brian leans away from me, removing his hand from my thigh.
I narrow my eyes at Blair. Guilt shines in her eyes as she mouths sorry .
“ Awk ward…” Alex mumbles under his breath.
“Something I’ve wanted to do for a while. One of my professors helped me with the application. If I get in, I’ll get to live in different cities in Europe for a year and work on my art.”
Brian’s brows furrow. “I wish you’d told me about it.”
Yeah, that would have been the right thing to do, if I thought there was a future for us. “Sorry. Well… now you know.”
“When will you learn if you got accepted?” Gia asks.
“Not until next month.”
“You’ll get in. I know it,” Blair adds. “It’ll be so good for you.”
I’m not sure if Brian picked up on Blair’s subliminal message, but I did. She knows I’ll be going to Europe alone.