Chapter 12
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Dominic
“What line did you cross?”
Kilian’s soft voice reached me from far away, yanking me from a haze of half-sleep back into reality. Dream images dissipated, and I was fully back in my body.
“And why did you stay anyway?” he asked.
Grumbling, I shifted onto my other side and tucked the pillow over my head, but it was useless. I could feel Kilian’s warm hand on my shoulder before he whispered into my ear.
“It’s almost one o’clock, and I don’t want to be the reason you miss an important appointment—though, if we’re being honest, I assume I’m your most important appointment.”
“Oh God,” I mumbled, nowhere near ready to get up. But Kilian wasn’t wrong. I had plans—planned activities meant to keep my day on track and prevent me from doing something stupid until my next shift at Red tonight.
“Grumpy bear,” he teased.
I opened my eyes, momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight streaming in through the open sliding door from the living room. Squinting, I glanced at Kilian, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed next to me, grinning cheerfully.
He was wearing deep purple boxer briefs and a black T-shirt. His damp, dark brown hair was tousled in every direction, and he radiated an almost magnetic energy as he studied me with a mischievous gleam in his eye.
“How are you so full of energy already?” I asked, yawning as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
“Waking up next to my grumpy bear just puts me in a good mood.”
“Hmm …” I grumbled, not really registering his words until a moment later. “Your grumpy bear?”
Kilian shrugged. “It fits, doesn’t it?”
I was lying on my back when he unexpectedly sprawled over me, pressing his thigh into my groin. Probably not intentional, but I could feel him against me—his half-hard length brushing against my hip.
“No,” I uttered immediately, recoiling. “This … Please, Kil.”
“What’s wrong? I’m not doing anything,” he whispered near my ear.
A moment later, I felt his tongue trace along my earlobe, sending a shiver through my entire body.
“Or maybe you mean, ‘Please, Kilian, don’t stop’?”
“I can’t,” I managed to choke out.
But he didn’t move off me.
“You mentioned boundaries yesterday. Is this about that?”
“Please, get off me,” I begged, feeling my desire stir against my will.
My tone made him pause, and he lifted his head, looking surprised. “You’re serious,” he remarked, visibly taken aback. “Then tell me what’s going on.”
He wasn’t going to budge until I gave him an answer, so I cleared my throat as best I could under his weight and stared at the ceiling. Anything was better than meeting his gaze while feeling his arousal against me—and confessed my own struggle.
“I’ve decided to go three months without sex,” I said, my voice rough. I cleared my throat again. “Or, more precisely, without anything remotely related to sex.” My eyes flicked meaningfully to Kilian, still sprawled on top of me, his arousal becoming even more pronounced at the word “sex.”
“You’re kidding.” He rested his forearms on my chest, his eyes caressing me from top to bottom. The added pressure against my hips made me groan.
“Not helpful,” I gasped, craning my neck as if trying to catch my breath, though he wasn’t nearly as heavy as he seemed.
“And when are these three months over?”
“In six weeks.” Summoning all my willpower, I grabbed his upper arms and rolled us over. Now that he was on his back, I sat up.
Kilian propped himself up on his elbows, his brow furrowing. “But you’ve already broken your rule once. And from what I can tell, you enjoyed yourself in the control room. What’s the big deal?”
I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply. “Please don’t talk like that. This really matters to me. Just because I enjoyed it doesn’t mean I’ve failed. That was a slip-up, nothing more. I don’t even know what came over me in there.”
“Oh, come on!” Kilian said, his frustration evident as he grabbed his crotch. “I’ve got a rock-hard erection here! Don’t you want to help me out?”
“Not helpful,” I muttered through clenched teeth, doing everything I could to avoid looking at the tent in his shorts.
“What about just watching, then?” Kilian’s hand slid into his boxers, his eyes locking onto mine with a predative gleam. “You don’t have to do anything—no, I forbid you from doing anything. Just watch.”
I swallowed hard. If I was honest with myself, I was already completely at his mercy. There was nothing I wanted more than to watch him pleasure himself. Kilian, sharp as ever, caught the unspoken desire in my gaze.
“I can see it, Mick,” Kilian said with a sultry smile on his lips. “Your lust is growing and growing—just like my cock.”
He slid his boxers down, revealing himself to me.
Oh God!
“Take a good look.” He propped himself up on one elbow and wrapped his hand around his stiff length. “I’m jerking off for you, babe. So watch closely.”
He stroked himself, his thumb teasing the tip as his other hand tugged at his balls. My mouth went dry at the sight—or maybe it was watering. The view was breathtaking. What I wouldn’t have given to join him, to stroke myself alongside him.
“I can see it in your eyes,” he murmured, his voice low and smoky as his hand moved more deliberately. “You want more, don’t you?”
I nodded—just barely—but it was enough. A wicked, lust-filled smile spread across Kilian’s face. He tightened his jaw and tilted his head back, surrendering to the pleasure with a deep, throaty moan.
“Fuck, Kil …” I swallowed hard, holding myself back with every ounce of willpower I had. I wanted so badly to touch him, to lean over and taste him, to stroke his body and feel every inch of him beneath my hands.
When he spread his legs wider and lifted his hips, I tore my eyes away, desperately searching for a distraction, an escape.
“Look at me,” Kilian commanded, his breath ragged. “Only me.”
I did what he asked, but the sight of him confused me so much that I no longer knew what to think. He pulled the black T-shirt over his head, revealing his beautiful, muscular body.
With one hand behind his head, he supported himself, while the other pumped his length faster and harder. The muscles of his abdomen flexed, and a louder groan escaped his lips.
“Are you imagining touching me?” he asked, his voice dripping with lust. “Or licking me? Such a shame I won’t let you.”
I could feel the heat pooling deep inside me, slowly making its way to my cock. It was a jolt, one that punched the air out of my lungs, while my hands clung to my thighs, almost as if they were chained there.
I felt helpless… and trapped.
But I was incredibly turned on!
Kilian let go of his cock, which stood proudly upright, and glided his hand over his stomach and chest. As he pinched one nipple, he slid his hand back down his body and cupped himself between his legs.
“You make me so hot, babe. Do you want to kiss me?”
I nodded.
Kilian licked his lips, grabbed his length again, and swept his other hand across his chest. The man was pure eroticism, giving me a private show that had me completely spellbound.
“Too bad,” he whispered. “All you can do is watch.”
My cock twitched again, swelling harder with each passing moment. My mouth hung open as I sat there, breathless, watching Kilian spread his legs even wider and let out a moan.
“Oh fuck,” he gasped, his body tensing. “I’m about to come.”
My cock strained against my pants, eager for release, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch it. The fear of deflating all the built-up tension with a single stroke was overwhelming. So I focused all my attention on Kilian.
He was jerking himself off hard now, thrusting his hips in a steady rhythm. His breaths came in short, uneven gasps as his free hand roamed aimlessly—through his hair, down his neck, and over his throat. Then he threw his head back and let go completely.
“Oh yes … Shit!”
Thick spurts of cum shot out of him, his body swept away by the force of his orgasm. His muscles tensed and then gradually released, leaving him in a state of perfect relaxation. As tension left his flawless body, Kilian exhaled with relief.
His breathing was heavy as he allowed himself a moment to bask in the afterglow, eyes closed, savoring the sensation. His chest still rose and fell steadily when he finally opened his eyes, his gaze locking on me with a satisfied smile.
At that moment, the intense pulling sensation in my lower abdomen took over, overwhelming me with a wave of shame that I had experienced far too often over the past few months.
I dashed to the bathroom as panic surged through me.
My whole body felt like it was on fire, as if lava was slowly coursing through my veins.
Bracing myself against the sink with both hands, I stared at the bulge in my pants, which was already shrinking.
How was it that I could date Clarissa and observe my utter failure with detached coolness, yet after what had just happened with Kilian, I wanted to sink into the ground? And this, despite the fact that something had actually stirred in my pants. For the first time in so long!
I wanted to scream, but knowing Kilian was just nearby tightened my throat.
Why was a semi-hard erection that I couldn’t maintain—something I’d grown used to over weeks—so much worse than a limp noodle that wouldn’t harden even after hours of coaxing?
I turned on the sink and splashed my face with cold water. I was incredibly aroused, and yet I couldn’t climax. It was maddening. Again and again, I doused my burning face, washing away a few tears, when I heard a hesitant knock at the door.
“Hey,” Kilian’s gentle voice came through. “I’m sorry if I went too far. I thought … No, I don’t know what I was thinking …”