Chapter 19
JAMIE
Awistful smile lifts on my face as I watch Sebastian and Harper on the other side of the room.
While the house party is raging around them, they’re in their own little world. It’s like they’ve lost themselves, drowning in each other’s eyes. Fuck, I want that with someone. I want it so much that it hurts.
But lately, that ache doesn’t hit with quite the same harshness that it used to. Because, for the first time in my life, I actually believe I might be close to finding it.
My heart leaps when I feel a vibration in my pocket. For the last hour, Carmen and I have been texting. I’m trying to coax her into coming to this party that we’re throwing at the house.
She keeps telling me that she’s not in the mood to leave her apartment tonight, but beneath her words, I can feel her softening. Something tells me that soon enough, I’m going to be seeing her in my house for the first time.
And if I do, I have another feeling that it won’t be the last.
I open my messages to find that she sent me a picture of a mug sitting on her coffee table.
Carmen
Freshly brewed tea. Nothing says definitely staying home tonight like this
For the last couple messages, she’s been teasing me like this. I smirk, rising to the challenge.
I know you’re rocking an amazing house party outfit on the other side of that camera
LOL. No
Besides, the caffeine from that tea will give you so much energy that you’ll just have to come out
Funny thing about optimism. Most of the time it’s unwarranted
But not this time
I go to the kitchen to refill my cup. By the time that’s done, she still hasn’t responded. I decide to hit her with the old double-text. I’ve never played it cool with this girl; no reason to start now.
You could just ignore me the whole night and get to know some of the girls here. Sebastian’s girlfriend and her roommates are over. They’re friendly and always down to induct someone cool into their group
Even if not tonight, I really do want to introduce Carmen to the girls. I think they’d get along well. Carmen needs some friends here in Cedar Shade. Not that I don’t believe she can make them herself, I know she would if she put herself out there. But a little help never hurts.
Harper rents a house with Maddie, Scarlett, and Jasmine.
Maddie and Scarlett are dating Rhys and Lane respectively, who graduated last year.
Jasmine’s the odd girl out who hasn’t been locked down by a hockey player.
I don’t think she’s looking for a serious relationship right now.
They’re all cool girls, and I’m glad to still be friendly with them even after Rhys and Lane graduated.
Carmen
Well, ignoring you all night IS tempting …
I smile at my phone. I’m thinking of a witty response to keep our text banter flowing, when a conversation beside me snags my attention.
“Come on, V. Once you master this, you’ll be a fully integrated American college student.” Felix is pulling Veikko toward the middle of the living room, where we’ve cleared out the furniture to make room for people to dance.
Felix’s face is flushed. He’s acting even more boisterous than usual. He’s drunk a lot tonight. Not a worrying amount or anything, but he’s going harder than his average.
Veikko’s been throwing them back more than he usually does, too. He’s not as stiff and standoffish as usual. “I don’t know, Felix.”
Felix flashes him a smile. His eyes are eager. “Come on, you gotta be able to dance at a college house party if you’re gonna say you’ve had the American experience.”
There’s an odd look on Veikko’s face. It’s like he wants to give in to Felix’s encouragement, but he’s looking for an excuse to tell himself no. Felix decides not to give him the chance, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him into the mass of bodies moving around the living room.
I bark out a laugh as Felix brushes up against Veikko, trying to show him what to do with his arms and legs. To my surprise, Veikko’s face breaks out in a smile. He’s actually laughing. What’s really surprising is that he isn’t moving away as Felix gets right into his personal space.
I hold up my phone and snap a picture of them. I send it to Carmen.
Veikko and Felix are dancing together. Come on, you can’t miss this party.
My tongue peeks through my lips in anticipation as I watch text bubbles bouncing on her side of the screen.
Carmen
Fine. I’ll be over soon
“Yes!” I can’t hold back the exclamation. I actually jump up and down for joy.
I’m wired with energy and excitement. Carmen is actually coming. My shoulders and arms start moving to the rhythm of the song.
I hear Sebastian chuckle next to me. “What’s with you?” he asks.
I’m too over the moon to be embarrassed at how silly I look. “Carmen’s coming over.”
His eyebrows lift. “Damn, that’s a milestone. Felix’ll flip out when he sees her here. And Veikko will probably try to hide.”
I laugh, nodding toward them. “They might be too preoccupied to notice.”
They’re both dancing up a storm. A feeling of intrigue pinches in my chest. There’s something about the way they’re looking at each other, something about the smiles on their faces as Felix instructs Veikko to sing along to the popular song like everyone else is doing.
Carter pops in between Sebastian and me. “Have you guys noticed something … I don’t know, different about how Felix and Veikko have been acting recently?”
Now that he mentions it … I kind of have. But I can’t put my finger on it, and don’t know how to put it into words.
Sebastian shrugs. “It is the beginning of the semester, after all. People aren’t in their normal rhythm yet.”
Hmm. Could that be it?
“Yeah, I guess,” Carter says. He doesn’t sound entirely convinced, either.
We drop the topic quickly, though, without it weighing too heavily on our minds.
Sebastian has to go take Harper the drink he just grabbed her.
Carter sees a girl he’s been talking to across the room and goes to her.
And me? It’s hard for me to focus on anything for more than a couple seconds other than watching the door, waiting for Carmen.
After fifteen minutes that feel like two hours, she walks in.
I only have a glimpse of her as she maneuvers through the door past the gaggle of party guests, slowly unzipping her jacket.
When I finally get a clear view, she’s shrugging the puffy black coat off her shoulders.
My jaw hits the fucking floor.
She wears a denim mini skirt with thin leggings.
Her legs look so unbelievable I could swear my eyes pop out of their sockets like I’m a damn cartoon character.
My gaze slides along the length of her legs until it reaches the black platform boots on her feet.
I bite down on my bottom lip. Have mercy.
She has a roomy maroon sweater above it, with long sleeves that swallow up most of her hands.
I’m going to be remembering this outfit for a long, long time.
In the corner of my eye, I notice something unusual enough to grab my attention for a moment. Veikko marching out of the living room, Felix hurrying after him and calling his name.
Huh. Wonder what that’s about.
But that question vanishes from my mind when Carmen scans the room and our eyes lock.
My throat tightens. It feels like my lungs are trying to suck in air through a pinhole. The music pumping through the speakers sounds distant and muffled. Our gazes hold steady for a long beat, the air between us humming with charged energy.
Finally, my brain kicks me into gear, and I walk towards her.
I’d like to say something smooth. Something that makes me look cool when she’s in my house for the first time. But my brain is so scrambled from how fucking amazing she looks, and all that comes out of my mouth is, “Hey.”
“Hey,” she answers.
The pounding music disappears. The people cramming the house full melt away. Nothing exists but her glossy, chocolate-brown eyes and my heart leaping in my chest.
Carmen turns her head, and I step back into reality. She glances around the living room.
“Just an average Friday night for you guys?”
I chuckle. “Kind of, this year. Last year, with so many of the guys being in relationships, this house’s tradition for parties sort of died off, but Felix and Carter are making sure they’re having a comeback.”
Carmen just nods, her eyes still scanning around the room. She looks a little overwhelmed as she takes it all in.
“As nostalgic for college house parties as you are for finals season?” I joke.
I get one burst of laughter from that. “Hardly.”
“Want a drink?”
“Sure. I’ll take a White Claw if you have them.”
I lead Carmen to the kitchen. She seems a little bit skittish.
I can understand why. According to her, she’s just been working or holed up in her apartment since she came to town at the end of the summer.
Going from that to being right in the middle of a hectic house party can be a shock to the system.
Not exactly a gentle reintroduction to college social life.
She picks out what flavor of drink she wants, and I reach for one of my own. We crack our cans at the same time.
“To my excellent cooking,” I propose. She texted me this morning that she finished the last of the chili I left at her door.
Just referencing that day feels risky. The memory of hearing her moan my name behind her door sweeps into my mind, and a quiver runs through me. I’m barely able to avoid popping an awkward bulge in my pants.
“Not to mention your modesty,” she snarks, knocking her can against mine.
I notice that she still has her jacket tucked under one arm. I could kick myself for being such a bad host. Being too distracted by how knockout-beautiful she looks to take her coat for her.
“I’ll grab your jacket,” I say. “We’re just throwing them on the couch.”
“Actually,” she says, “could we maybe finish these drinks outside? I’m feeling kind of …” she glances at the crowded and kinetic space around us.
“A little cramped?”
“Yeah.”