Chapter Thirty-four Lacey
Chapter Thirty-four
Lacey
One good thing about me: I’m fabulous at focusing on everything but my emotions. Which is how I find myself at school Tuesday morning having not dealt with my feelings about Vaughn.
But all that avoidance smacks me in the face the moment I step into the school. I’m met with reminders of the game and Vaughn everywhere. The signs lining the walls suddenly seem like too much.
I groan as I walk beside Claire. “I have never hated my love for team spirit and glitter more than I do now.”
She squeezes my hand and then steps over to the side and rips down a poster on the wall that reads Let’s Go KNIGHTS!
Her face lights up. “Ooh that actually felt good. Try it.”
I walk over to a poster. This one reads BEAT PACIFIC. In one smooth motion, I tear it from the wall. It falls to my feet in a satisfying thump.
My eyes spark.
Claire laughs. “Told you.”
We move down the hallway, taking the posters off the wall.
By the time we reach the other end, my anger has turned to sadness.
We remove each of the locker signs too. All but one.
Vaughn’s is already missing. I don’t know why that hurts more than anything else.
Maybe because it’s a reminder that at our core, we’re different.
I’m sparkle and sunshine, and he’s serious and somber.
I guess it was too much to think he’d ever really change.
We stuff the last of the posters and signs into the trash. The halls look drab and boring again, which I guess is fitting for my mood.
When we walk back, Vaughn is waiting by my locker. Claire gives me a supportive smile and leaves me to talk to him alone.
My heart squeezes in my chest as I approach him.
“Hey.” His hands are shoved into his pants.
“Hey,” I parrot back. I don’t feel the usual compulsion to fill the silence between us, and we both fall quiet.
He speaks again first. “I was going to text you when I finally made it home last night, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to hear from me.”
I want to be the bigger person and reassure him that it’s fine and we can be friends, no matter what he decides, but I’m having a hard time extending that much. All I really want is for him to choose to fight for us.
“Anyway, I just wanted to check and see how you’re doing.”
He wants to check on me?
“I don’t get you.” I shake my head. All I wanted was to be that person for him, and he wouldn’t let me. He said he wanted to be alone, and now he’s here.
“I know.” He glances to his feet. “I’m sorry.”
As upset as I am, some part of me still wants to console him.
“It’s probably for the best anyway.” I hate the words as soon as they leave my mouth, but I can’t seem to stop talking once I start. “We probably would have broken up and hated each other anyway eventually.”
He shakes his head. “I could never hate you.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I have to look away from him and his stunning blue eyes that haunt my dreams.
The first bell rings, and I’m glad for an escape. “I better go.”
“Yeah.” He pushes off my locker but doesn’t move out of my way until I glance back up at his face. His lips curve into a sad smile. “I’ll see you around, Lacey.”
* * *
The rest of the day improves through twisted means. Every teacher seems to be in as bad of a mood as I am, and the homework stacks up. Claire doesn’t question me when I tell her I’m going to the library to study during lunch. SATs are tomorrow, and I’m grateful for the escape.
She comes along for support and reads while I block out the world. Cheerleading practice doesn’t even lift my mood. Every time I glance over at the empty soccer field, my stomach twists with how much I miss him.
* * *
On Wednesday morning, the school is eerily quiet. Anyone who isn’t taking the test had the day off, so everyone here is anxious and silent as we file into the classroom where the test is administered.
I take a seat next to Caleb. He has that excitement on his face of someone who knows they’re going to ace the test.
“Ready for this?” he asks.
“I hope so.” I don’t have his same confidence, and the fear of not doing well hits me for the first time in days.
I was so focused on studying as an escape that I didn’t let myself worry about what happens if I score low.
I can take it again in the spring, but ultimately, I have to do well if I want to go to a top college.
Once the test is in front of me, I take a deep breath and begin. I don’t think about anything else but the questions until time is up.
“Turn your tests in up front and you’re dismissed,” Dr. Frievalt says.
I breathe a sigh of relief, and a smile pulls at my lips. A huge weight lifts from my shoulders and for the first time in days, I don’t feel like wallowing. I did it. It’s done. At least for today, I’m not going to worry about if it’s enough.
After I turn in my test, I follow the rest of the class out into the breezeway. Claire waves when she sees me and stands from the bench. It’s a surprise to see her since she wasn’t taking the test today.
“How did it go?” she asks by way of greeting.
“It felt good. I think,” I say.
Her grin widens, and she lunges for me, hugging me hard. I let my body go limp in her arms and just soak her in for a moment.
“What are you doing here?” I ask with a small laugh when she finally pulls back.
“I have a surprise.” She tips her head toward the parking lot. “I’m stealing you for the afternoon.”
I assume we’re going to her house or mine, but when Claire pulls up in front of the mall, I raise a brow in question.
She unbuckles and I do too, because no matter what she has planned, I’m sure I’ll say yes in the end. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for her and vice versa.
“I thought to celebrate your kick-ass SAT score—”
“I don’t know my score yet,” I interject.
“You did amazing. I’m speaking it into the universe,” she says without missing a beat. “We should get our ears pierced together.”
Number three on my bucket list.
“I forgot about the list,” I admit.
“Well, I did not. I’m thinking of getting a helix piercing on the right ear.”
The normalcy of it makes me appreciate her all the more, but I know deep down this is about making me feel better.
“I like those,” I say.
She looks to me expectantly.
Even though I haven’t thought about the list a lot lately, I’d already decided what I wanted. “I’m going to get a second hole on both ears.”
“Classic,” she says. “That’ll look amazing. And after we can have lunch and girl talk.”
“I love you so much.” I reach over and hug her around the neck so quickly it catches her off guard.
Laughing, she wraps her arms around me. “I love you too.”
Inside the mall, we go to the ear-piercing store and spend an exorbitant amount of time picking out earrings for our new piercings. Claire goes with a gold heart stud, and I pick out sapphires, my gemstone.
We hold hands while we’re each getting it done, and it feels good to be with her.
A reminder that I have so many amazing people in my life.
Maybe Vaughn and I didn’t work out the way I wanted, but I have people who care for me and make me a priority, and someday there’ll be another boy who is ready to do the same.
After, we grab lunch at the food court. Claire tosses a fry in her mouth and swallows before she says, “So…do you want to talk about him?”
“Vaughn?” I ask dumbly.
“Yes, of course.” She laughs lightly.
“There isn’t a lot to say. He’s same ole Vaughn. At least he learned from his mistakes with you and ended things with me before it got as serious.”
She eyes me carefully, and I can tell she wants to say something but is considering her words. My stomach swirls, and I set my burger down on the plate.
“It’s okay to be upset anyway. No matter who he was or what he’s done in the past, you brought out a different side of him. And you believed in that person.”
“A lot of good it did me.”
“You see the best in people and situations. It’s who you are. Don’t let him or anyone else take it from you.” She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “One of us needs to be optimistic, and I don’t think I have it in me.”
A real, full laugh leaves my mouth, because she’s right. Claire isn’t doom and gloom exactly, but she isn’t the optimist I am.
“I really liked him,” I admit.
“I know you did. And for what it’s worth, he really liked you too.”
“How do you know?”
“I could just tell.” She shrugs one shoulder, and I think that’s all she’s going to say before she adds, “It was little things. He looked for you when he walked into a room, and he would get this cute, dopey smile. Even on the soccer field he seemed happier when he’d look over and spot you in the crowd.
You were good for him, and if he can’t see that, then it’s his loss. ”
I nod. She’s right, but it still hurts.
“And you still have me. Always.” She grins playfully, trying to lighten the mood again.
We spend the rest of the day hanging out at the mall, going in every store and talking and laughing until I’m no longer pretending to have a good time.
By the time she asks if I want to go to the varsity volleyball game tonight, I’m back to feeling like me. We drive back to the school and walk into the gym as the game is starting.
All those happy feelings evaporate when I spot Vaughn with Austin and Rowan.
“Are you okay?” Claire asks.
“Yeah,” I say, not truly believing it but knowing I’m going to have to face him again eventually.
Claire sticks close to me as we walk toward the guys.
“Crawford. Lace-babe.” Rowan greets us. “Did you hear the good news?”
“What news?” Claire asks.
“We made the all-state team. Second team.” He points a thumb between him and Austin. “And Vaughn was on first team, of course. Would have been MVP if we’d won.”
Vaughn sneaks a glance at me and his cheeks take on a slight pink.
“No way! Congratulations!” Claire launches herself at Austin. She sits in his lap, hugging him around the neck. She holds up one hand to high-five Rowan and then Vaughn.
“That’s incredible.” I stand there, unmoving, not sure what to do, but then my manners kick in. This is a big deal, and these guys are my friends. I step over to Rowan and lean down to give him a small hug. “Congrats.”
“Thanks, Lace.”
Austin holds up his hand in a fist and we bump knuckles. “Congrats, New Guy.”
“Ended the season with honors for the school, and I’m still just the new guy.”
“Not just the new guy. My favorite new guy in the entire school.”
Everyone laughs, and Austin shakes his head.
“I guess that’s something,” he says.
Then I glance at Vaughn. We both hesitate and then move at the same time.
“Congratulations.” I wrap one arm around his back and his goes around my waist. His familiar scent makes my stomach flip.
When I step back, his hand lingers at my waist. “Thanks, Lacey.”
High School Bucket List
Make a high school memory box ?
Go apple picking ?
Get a piercing ?
Watch the sunrise from the fifty-yard line on the football field
Learn the “Thriller” dance!
Go on a double date ?
Stay up all night
Volunteer
Travel internationally
Kiss someone under the stars ?
Do something scary ?
Go to the homecoming dance with a date
Go ice-skating ?
Have a photo shoot with friends
Go skinny-dipping
Take a road trip with Dad
Leave my mark on Frost Lake High