16. Salem
“Listen, baby, anything worth having is worth fighting for. That has never been more true than in your situation. Everything you’ve said about this woman lets me know that you love her, and she’s a great woman.
You can either sit on your ass and stay in your feelings, or you can get up and get your woman.
“Now, I know it ain’t right, but a lot of times when women say it’s too much and we can’t handle it, sometimes that’s our way of saying ‘I want you to fight for me.’ Then there are times when a woman is just done, and she lets you know she’s done.
But that’s usually behind a trifling ass man.
That ain’t you, Son. So, what you gon’ do, Salem? ”
“I can’t force her to be with me if she doesn’t want to.”
“You got that woman over there crying in the middle of the floor. That doesn’t sound like she wants nothing to do with you, Son.
If she were over you, you wouldn’t even earn a single tear.
Figure out how to make her secure in your love, give that to her, and make her see that she can’t live without you. ”
That was the advice my mother gave me when she asked how things were going with Koi and me. She was ready to meet her, but it was two days after Koi broke things off. I heard her words, but I wasn’t ready to bite the bullet just yet. I was still fired up.
I needed time to calm down. I didn’t go to class the next day or the day after that. By the time I returned to class, it was Friday. I was tired of doing the back-and-forth with Koi, and I needed her to know that.
I knew who started the rumors because both of those hos had approached me separately.
Jada had been trying to shoot her shot since the beginning of the semester.
Trista acted like she was approaching me on her friend’s behalf.
When she realized that I wasn’t interested in Jada, she tried to set some shit up with me, inviting me back to her place.
I had done everything possible not to draw attention to myself and Koi. There was no way that I could stop haters from hating. People were gonna talk, and if they had nothing to talk about, they would make shit up. I needed Koi to grow the fuck up and fight for what we had.
I knew that her being involved with one of her students was taboo, but she would face issues in any relationship, whether it was a student or a nigga cross country. Life was full of problems, and so were relationships. You had to decide if the other person was worth fighting for or not.
I decided Koi was worth fighting for. When class ended, I didn’t give a shit what people thought. I stayed right there in my seat and waited for everyone to leave class.
Koi looked up at me, spotted the firm, determined look on my face, and asked, “Yes, Mr. Gates. What may I do for you?”
Her voice was tired, and she sounded like she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I could make it all better if she just let me.
“Give me your time.”
“Mr. Gates, I really don’t think?—”
Standing from my seat and sauntering in her direction, I stopped her words.
“I ain’t asking you to think, Koi. I’m telling you to trust me.”
Her bottom lip quivered, and she rested a hand on the edge of her desk. She turned her head away from me and placed the tips of her fingers against her lips. I kept coming for her, though, and when I stood in front of her, she shook her head.
“You’re tired, baby girl. You’re tired of fighting your feelings for me.
Tired of pretending you don’t want me. Tired of worrying about what everyone thinks.
And I get that you’ve been fighting this fight long before I arrived.
But you ain’t gotta fight it alone no more.
If this school don’t appreciate what the fuck you got to offer, then that’s their loss.
But I see you, and I want you. All I want to do is enhance your life.
Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you. ”
“I just want to be able to do my job without worrying about my personal life screwing that up. And I want to embrace my personal life without my job interfering.”
Her voice trembled, and though I knew I shouldn’t have, I took that final step and bridged the distance between us. I pulled her to me, but she resisted. I didn’t let go but held her wrist tightly and snatched her against my body.
“You’re going to get me fired, Salem.”
I wiped the tears from her face. “And then we’ll set you up in that shop we were talking about last week. You’ll sell your sculptures and pottery, and you’ll give classes. You can still make an impact and shape minds without kissing ass, Koi.”
She pulled back from me and hissed. “I’m not kissing ass. I’m trying to keep a roof over my head, pay my bills, and put food in my mouth. I’m trying to earn a living, Salem.”
“And you already know that I can do all of that for you, ma.”
She shook her head and angrily swiped at the tears falling down her face.
“I watched you the entire class. You barely held on. You don’t think that everybody else noticed that shit too?”
“I didn’t expect that I would be so emotional seeing you again after our breakup, Salem. When you didn’t come back to class, I thought you had given up.”
“Do you love me?”
“What?”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes.”
“Then trust me.”
“I do trust you.”
“Meet me tonight at my place.”
“We’ll be going ’round in circles all over again, Salem.”
“I said what I said.”
I turned and walked away from her and headed out of the room. I knew that it wouldn’t be easy for her, but I had a plan. I just needed her to trust me and know that what I was doing was in both of our best interests.
I showered, dressed, and cooked. I set up the table on my balcony and placed candles on there to go along with the fairy lights that were strung up on my balcony. I turned on Sienna’s latest CD, Smoking Nights , and I sat on the deck and waited.
When seven o’clock hit, I called Koi, and the phone just rang and rang with no answer. I sent her a text.
ME:
Where are you?
An hour passed, and I didn’t get a response. I blew out the candles, turned off the music, and put the food away. After locking my place up, I jogged downstairs and across the street. I walked up the block to the studio and walked inside.
Chelsea’s class was just ending, and people were milling about, gathering their things for the evening, and leaving.
“Hey, Salem,” Cassandra, one of the students, greeted me.
“Hey, baby girl. Take it easy.”
“You too.”
“Hey, Salem,” Jason, another student, greeted.
“Wassup, li’l homie.”
“Nothing much. Aye, don’t forget to put a bro on for how I can get some of that modeling work in.”
“Just call the number that I gave you. They’ll hook you up. Tell Ralph that Salem sent you.”
“A’ight, man.”
A few other people greeted me as I made my way through the departing crowd. I finally made it to Chelsea, and she smiled brightly when she spotted me, but her smile turned to one of concern when she saw my face.
“Uh-oh. What’s wrong now?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I replied, “I don’t know. You gotta tell me. I saw her today, and she was supposed to meet me, but she never showed up, and she’s not answering my calls.”
“I’m sorry, Salem. It was all too much for her.”
“What was?”
“You. The relationship. Her job. I don’t know. I just know that she called me earlier, bawling her eyes out. This was about three hours ago. She quit her job, Salem.”
Hope filled me, but that didn’t explain why she wouldn’t take my calls.
“What happened?”
“There were some allegations about the two of you that were brought to the dean’s attention. Apparently, they were about to do another investigation. Aside from that, she would also have had to undergo another faculty committee evaluation and a review by the Board of Trustees.”
“That’s bullshit! If they took it to them, why didn’t they tell them that I was the one who pursued her?” I fumed.
Shaking her head, Chelsea answered, “I don’t know.
But what I do know is that the last time my friend went through that, she almost didn’t survive.
She was depressed for a while and started taking antidepressant medications and going to therapy.
They were going over all her work, her assignments she had graded, and everything else with a fine-tooth comb. It was too much.”
“Fuck! Man, I was there today trying to convince her to leave, but I didn’t want it to be like this.”
“You weren’t there the first time, Salem. She was hurt badly, and she’s hurting now. She might try to deny it, but my friend needs you.”
I nodded. “All right. I’m heading over there now.”
“Good for you. Good luck, Salem.”
“Thanks, Chels. I’m gonna need it.”
I muttered the last sentence under my breath as I ran back across the street to get my car.
The entire drive to her apartment, I tried calling her intermittently without success.
If they were starting this bullshit with her, I knew they would be coming for me soon.
But I had some firepower for those bastards.
When I pulled up to her apartment, I parked haphazardly in the parking lot and jumped out. I ran up the stairs and banged on her door several times. I got no answer. Then something hit me. I walked back downstairs and looked around the parking lot. I didn’t see her car.
A young couple who lived across the hall from her got out of their car with takeout in their hands.
“Hey.” The guy greeted me as the girl nodded.
“Hey.”
“Are you looking for the professor?” the girl asked just as they were passing me by.
“Yeah. You’ve seen her?”
“About an hour and a half ago. She was heading to her car,” the girl shared.
“Did she look to be okay?” I asked.
The guy shook his head. “Her eyes were red, and she had a carry-on bag. I figured she was going on a trip somewhere.”
“Thanks, G.”
“No problem,” he stated, and they walked off.
I spun around in circles, trying to figure out my next move. I was stumped.
“Fuck!” I yelled and punched the air.