Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
JAMIE
Ihave never been so at peace in my entire life. After so many years, I finally get an inside view of who Violet is.
Except what I'm seeing is not her. I think her bland bedroom has been her attempt to block out everything she used to be. There are signs of the bubbly part of her that has slipped through though.
Purple comforter, purple robe, purple panties.
..Violet definitely had a hard time completely locking herself away.
There are small pops of color, but what really stands out are the excessive stacks of notebooks she has on her dresser and on the floor near her bed.
She's even using one stack as a makeshift nightstand.
Oh how I fucking itch to crack them open and see if she's used them all. There's one on the actual nightstand beside me with a pen marking a page near the center that really intrigues me.
It's beautiful. White and purple with flowers decorating it. What does she write about? Are they journals? Windows into her soul?
The early morning sun highlights my woman sleeping soundly in her bed. I may be beneath the covers with Violet, but I haven't done more than snuggle her and jump awake every so often to check on her.
When Cassidy called me at half past midnight last night, my heart about beat out of my chest. I was already up and tugging my clothes on to get to Violet. There was no doubt in my mind that Cassidy's call had to do with V.
On the speedy drive over here, I kept replaying Cassidy's description of Violet's nightmare. Thrashing around, crying, screaming, gasping, not being able to wake her up.
I about busted down their door, tripping through the hallway to get to Violet. Fear and so much determination propelled me forward, but as soon as I kneeled on her bed, a sense of calm washed over me.
It was as if my instincts told me I needed to be gentle and soothing. She was in distress, and no matter how much I wanted to snatch her up to beg her to open her beautiful eyes, I couldn't. She needed my patience, and, fucking hell, I've proven I have enough to last at least five fucking years.
So I did what I felt was best. Then I fingered her because fuck if I knew anything about getting someone back to sleep after such a horrible nightmare.
All I knew while she was in my arms was that I could help her body succumb to the exhaustion her brain was fighting.
A new, warm, comforting side of me came rushing to the surface when I touched her.
Our intimacy shifted in that moment, and all I wanted to do was praise her for letting me into her bedroom, into her heart, and into her mind.
Sitting here now, counting her dark eyelashes and smirking when she huffs a snore, I think about ways I can get her to let me into her soul.
Breakfast. Worth a shot.
Alone in the women's kitchen, I can't help but worry I'll mess something up. My presence here is meant to be helpful and supportive, not hinder anyone's schedule.
I may be a confident man, but everyone has a weakness and a worry. Mine is Violet and ensuring I give her no reason to push me away.
I thought for half a second this morning that I should leave and not overstay my welcome but decided that was dumb as shit. Violet has been allowed enough space for a few different things. Now that I'm in her home, there's no way in hell I'll leave voluntarily.
Cassidy took one look at me flipping pancakes on her stove and walked right out the door. She wished me luck at least, so I wasn't offended by her disappearance. I'm glad, actually. Violet and I took a new step last night, and today is the day I'll solidify my place in her life.
I hear Violet's bedroom door open before I see her, and I shit you not, I stop breathing for a second. Dressed in my T-shirt, and her purple panties with her hair in half a rat’s nest, I completely fall head over heels for Violet.
The times she's slept over at my place, she's always been up before me, and once I see her, she's already looking proper, you could say. I love this version the most. Especially the rasp of her voice when she speaks due to snoring all night long.
"Cassidy? Are you making breakfast?" she murmurs, rubbing both of her eyes. When they blink open, they're red and watery. I immediately drop my spatula.
I'm around the counter and lifting her onto it within moments. Ignoring her squeak because of the cold marble on her bare thighs, I grab her cheeks in both of my hands. "Did you have another nightmare? Why have you been crying?"
"I...What? I thought you left," she says, a little stunned.
Worry churns my gut, which is super fucking unfortunate because the bacon burning on the other side of the kitchen smells amazing. "That's why you've been crying? Because you thought I’d left?"
Violet twists her lips, and I notice a drool stain running from the corner of her mouth down to her jaw. So fucking beautiful. "Well, you didn't leave, so it doesn't matter."
"Hmm." I cock my head and take a risk to kiss her nose. Every kiss I give her outside of sex feels like a risk, but she's accepted every single one. "It definitely matters, my love. I told you I wasn't leaving."
"I know." Violet blushes but doesn't break eye contact. "You will be if you ruin my bacon."
A bark of laughter escapes me as I rush away from her to be her knight in shining armor. "Anything for you," I say, still laughing. Christ, I love her sass.
"Jamie..." Small arms circle my stomach when Violet hugs me as I flip the bacon. "Happy birthday."
My throat closes over just enough for me to know how much she means to me. With one hand on hers, and the other taking care of her bacon, I repeat her words back. "Happy birthday, my sweet love."