Chapter 31
Thirty-One
ELLIS
Ireally should have showered before starting dinner. Grilled ham and cheese wasn't the best choice for me to make either. I don't know what the hell it is, but I can never get them done at the same time as the fries.
"Just fucking cook," I growl at slices of bread which have barely browned. Nobody likes a soggy ass grilled ham and cheese. Even if I had showered before starting dinner for me and Nate, I would probably still be a sweaty mess.
Takeout would have been a better idea. My muscles are dying and I think I'm high off paint fumes. Can that happen?
Glaring at the stove isn't helping, so I decide to set the table. It would be good for us to sit down together and eat a meal like it's a date. Fuck knows things have been hard lately.
I'm pondering what night might work to plan a date when the front door closes. "In the kitchen!" I shout, excited to propose the idea of a date night to Nate.
A feminine cough has me stiffening and whirling around so fast the fork in my hand almost goes flying. Much like Violet's doing as she rushes toward my attempt at dinner.
"Holy crap! These are like hockey pucks!" she screeches and reaches for the hot pan. Before she can risk her soft skin, I snatch her wrist and tug her away from the burner.
"Careful, Bubbles!" I hiss, spinning her around. My eyes have a mind of their own as I check her for any burn marks.
"Ellis, I'm fine." But her nose scrunches up and her eyes narrow.
"What? What's wrong?" My heart pounds in my chest and I swear my head starts conjuring up all the things that could be wrong. She doesn't say anything, just twists her lips and tries to tug her hand free. "Damn it, Violet. What's wrong?"
That damn tiny nose wiggles again but this time it seems like it’s from annoyance. "Nothing. Let me go."
"I'll let you go after you tell me what’s wrong." No fucking way is she running from me before I can figure out how to help her. Did the cheese pop off the stove and burn her somewhere I haven't checked? Her neck maybe?
"You're annoying," she snaps and yanks on me again. This time I let myself move and crowd her instead. "Damn you, Ellis. You stink, that's what's wrong!"
Nate chooses that moment to enter the kitchen and freezes in his tracks. He doesn't seem too surprised to see her, which means he must have brought her here. I haven't given her the code to our house yet, but I'm wondering what the hell they've been up to all afternoon.
"Ellis. Let me go before my nose sprouts legs and runs away from you."
"Har, har," I mock and release her much to my dismay.
Nate chuckles and grabs a water from the fridge, handing it to Violet. "Shit, El. What was that supposed to be?" he asks, staring into the pan where our ruined dinner is.
Grumbling, I move the pan and scowl at it. "I turned the heat up for like fifteen fucking seconds while I set the table. Grilled cheese is hard."
A twinkly laugh makes my eyes snap over to Violet. Covering her mouth, she snorts. "Sorry," she huffs and shakes her head.
"Are you still here?" I taunt, using the same words she used against me at Jamie's tattoo shop.
Her eyes light up, surprising me. Maybe my way back into her heart is with banter. "I want to see the tattoo you got." Nate clears his throat and raises his eyebrows at her. Violet rolls her eyes but adds, "Please?"
"Um." All my bravado fades away. I wasn't ready for her to be here or start asking me questions. There was no chance for preparation plus I fucking stink. "I'm going to shower first. There's dust and paint in places it shouldn't be."
"He's been remodeling," Nate explains, earning a glare from me that says shut the fuck up.
"What are you remodeling?" she asks, sounding intrigued and suspicious.
Instead of answering her, I turn to Nate. I'm at a total disadvantage here. Thankfully, he knows what I'm asking with just a look. Coming to me, he presses a quick kiss to my lips and quietly says, "She wanted to hang out so I took her to my mom’s with me."
"Oh shit," I murmur, then my eyes fly to Violet who looks a little run down. She's beautiful as always, but her eyes are red-rimmed and her cheeks are blotchy. "What did Tina have to say, Bubbles? You okay?"
Damn it, why did I have to be such an ass right off the bat?
Maybe I'll skip the shower and go for a run.
Except, that's not what I want to do at all.
There's nothing beneath my skin itching to get out.
I don't feel like I'm about to explode with anger or toxicity.
I do feel damn protective though, and I don't like that she's been crying.
"Show me yours and I'll show you mine," she replies with a small smirk. It doesn't quite reach her eyes though.
Hmm, she wants me to show her my tattoo and what I'm working on in exchange for a play-by-play of her time with Nate's mom.
"Be back in ten," I blurt and rush out of the room.
I'm done in five. My anxiety pushed me through my routine much faster than planned. I'm grateful because when I enter the kitchen, I just about choke on the tension in the room.
Nate and Violet are sitting beside each other at the island, but neither are looking at one another. It's clear they've been talking about something important, and judging by the way Nate's shoulders are bent forward, he's struggling.
Wanting to be respectful, I make my steps a little heavier so they hear me coming. Nate glances up at me and gives me a pained smile. Violet's still staring at the countertop, reigniting my worry for her once again.
"Violet?" I mutter and place my elbows on the counter in front of her. "Want to tell me what’s going on?"
I'm feeling exceptionally pushy today, but who can blame me? The woman I love and need to grovel to walked into my home like she belongs here. She does, no doubt about it, but I thought it would be like pulling teeth to get her anywhere near me again.
She sniffles, but I don't notice any fresh tears on her face. "Tina was very supportive and understanding. It has made me very emotional."
Glancing at Nate, I see him cringe. I'll need to ask him about his side of the story later because he looks like he experienced something traumatic today too.
"She apologized to me. I thought she would hate me for how I abandoned you guys...She didn't."
"What did she do then?" My anxiety is pressuring me to get the answers as fast as I possibly can. If only to relieve myself of the fear making me ill.
Violet rubs her eyes with the backs of her hands. "She told me about how Nate and you dealt with my absence. She said you were very angry for a long time. Not just at me, but at the world. Anything was a trigger."
"Mhmm," I admit, swallowing and not knowing what to say. It's the truth. I became a really horrid version of myself.
"Tina mentioned that your family didn't understand or help. They love you and want happiness for you, but they couldn't quite grasp the depths of your depression."
"True as well." Tina was instrumental in my mental health journey.
I have the picture perfect, wonderfully happy and loving family.
But my anger, the easy shift from nonchalant to being an ass, made them pull away from me.
That only made me angrier. Why couldn't anyone see me? I was hurting, goddamn it.
"Then," she glances at Nate, "she told me how Nate put all his focus into the relationship you two have. How he took the reins and ignored some of his own issues. Like he did growing up. Tina said Nate took care of her and the house like that was his only purpose in life."
Nate sighs, and I glance at him, knowing this must be hard to hear.
"That's true too, Bubbles," I offer. "Nate's a caretaker.
When you left, well all that energy and worry went all on me and making sure we stayed together.
It's horrible to admit, but my anger issues gave him an excuse to ignore the awful ache of your absence. "
"I'm sorry," she whispers so quietly I can hardly hear. But I do, and her words break my heart.
"We forgive you. You know that," I say honestly.
I'm glad Nate is staying quiet because I need to have some deep conversations with our woman myself too. I can't always hide behind his protectiveness or manipulate his attention because my emotions are overwhelming.
Violet nods and groans. Leaning back on the stool, she wobbles a bit, but Nate's there to steady her chair. "Thanks," she says. "Anyway, Tina gave me a lot to think about. Perspectives to consider. Can I see your tattoo now?"
A startled laugh bursts from my mouth at her abrupt change of subject but I allow it. "Sure," I say and lift my foot onto the counter. "Just let me explain before you assume okay?"
She frowns, glancing from me to the wrap on my ankle. "Okay."
Alright, here goes nothing.