Chapter 19
Saturday came all too quickly for my liking, but I was relieved when I saw Thomas at the train station. He was wearing nice jeans and a black shirt; a backpack was slung over his shoulder. He broke out into a broad grin when he saw me.
‘Hey,’ he said and kissed me briefly on the lips like he had before. A nervous fluttery feeling descended upon my midriff. I wanted more: more kissing, more touching, more everything from him. There was definitely an attraction there, on my side anyway. For all I knew, Thomas got his kicks from helping damsels in distress deal with their dysfunctional families.
When we’d settled into our seats on the train, the inevitable question arose. ‘So what went down with Jeremy to make you so anti?’
Oh, the tale I could tell! I’d debated whether to divulge any of the finer details to Thomas and had decided that I would preserve Jeremy’s dignity. He was still my boss after all, and Thomas was Eleanor’s cousin.
‘There were certain aspects that I wasn’t comfortable with as the evening progressed,’ I replied. ‘Please don’t mention any of what I told you on the phone to Eleanor.’
‘You know I won’t. So the foot massage didn’t go well?’ he pressed, seeming super curious to know. Was he angling to find out if I’d slept with Jeremy?
‘We didn’t have sex if that’s what you’re asking.’
Was it my imagination, or did Thomas seem relieved to hear that?
‘I wasn’t prying,’ he said smoothly. ‘I just hoped it went OK for your sake. You seemed really upset about the whole whip thing. And I was a bit worried when you didn’t message me after.’
I shook my head. ‘Honestly, it started off OK, but it went downhill rapidly when I found out some ... things about him. And now he’s going to hire Irish Lucy as my research assistant.’
Thomas raised an eyebrow. ‘Irish Lucy?’
‘Blonde, big tits—my worst nightmare. He was interviewing her in his office the other day and pretty much ignored me completely.’
Thomas took my hand and squeezed it. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Now I can’t even enjoy a nice evening with my fake boyfriend because my awful sister and cheating ex will be there.’
He chuckled and kept hold of my hand. I assumed he was getting into his fake boyfriend role, but his large warm hand around mine felt lovely anyway.
‘Thanks for this and for taking time off work. I owe you big time.’
He shrugged. ‘Been thinking I might cut down on the guide work anyway. It’d be nice to have one day free on the weekend.’
‘What would you do with your day off?’
‘Dunno. Go for a bike ride maybe.’ He paused. ‘If I did, would you come too?’
I shifted in my seat. Well, we were sort of friends now. Hanging out with Thomas on the odd occasion wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It was nice to know he was thinking longer term. ‘Perhaps. If it wasn’t raining.’
***
It was an eight-minute stroll from Paddington Station to Cleveland Square, where my mother’s flat was situated. I could tell Thomas was impressed by the way he was looking around at the white-stucco-fronted mansions with their porticos.
It was a nice area all right, and at any other time, I would’ve been enjoying the visit. But knowing that in a few minutes’ time I would be facing my sister and ex was causing me to freak out. What with the Jeremy date being a flop and reading about Mercy’s issues with Jasper and Rose, everything was getting a bit much.
I scrabbled in the pocket of my overnight bag for the key I’d stashed in there in case I needed a breather.
‘Thomas, do you mind if we sit in the park for a bit before we go in?’
He stopped and glanced at the leafy park we were walking adjacent to. ‘Sure, but it looks private.’
‘It is, residents only. But my mother gave me a copy of her key.’ I held it up to show him.
Thomas looked doubly impressed. ‘Nice!’
Inside the garden, I made a beeline for the nearest park bench. There wasn’t anyone around apart from a couple of girls chatting on a blanket in the late-afternoon sunshine. I sat down and stuck my head between my legs.
‘Whoa, are you OK?’ asked Thomas worriedly.
‘No, I’m not looking forward to this.’
He sat down beside me and placed a hand on the middle of my back, resting it there.
‘Just breathe for a bit, in and out. That’s it.’ Tears pricked my eyes at his kindness. ‘You know we could always blow the whole thing off and book into a hotel. Grab dinner, watch a movie, and chill,’ he added.
The thought of that was hugely tempting. I took one last deep breath and sat up. ‘I can’t. I have to face them.’ A tear overflowed and ran down my cheek before I could wipe it away.
‘Come here.’
Thomas gathered me into his arms, and I laid my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my back. I couldn’t help crying a little. It had been so long since anyone had held me like this.
‘You know you’re pretty brave, don’t you?’ he murmured.
I sniffed. ‘So brave that I coerced you into coming with me.’
‘You didn’t coerce me. I wanted to.’
It wasn’t an admission of his feelings, but I could hear it in the tender tone of his voice and by the way he was holding me, like I was a fragile flower he was scared of crushing. I’m not sure how it had happened or what I’d done, but Thomas cared about me, and I felt like I might care about him too. It seemed to put things into perspective.
I lifted my head to look at him. He smiled, then kissed me gently on my temple, my cheek, then my lips; and I knew that what we were feeling for each other wasn’t fake at all—it was very real. We kissed as the breeze ruffled the leaves on the trees, and I felt the warmth of the sun and the heat of his body melding into mine; it was a deep, sweet kiss, and I didn’t want it to end.
But then Thomas hugged me tightly and said, ‘I’d much rather sit here and kiss you. But if you’re feeling better, we should probably face the villainous couple or, as I’m now thinking of them, Evil 1 and Evil 2.’
I laughed at that, liking that he’d said ‘we’. ‘I think maybe now I can.’
***
My mother was an avid collector of Art Deco furniture. Her flat was busy, but nothing like Jeremy’s haphazard jumble. There was room to move around at least. But I noticed a side table in the entryway that hadn’t been there last time I visited.
‘Is that new?’ I asked, kissing her cheek as she waved me into the flat.
‘Yes, it’s French. Karelian birch,’ she said, and was about to shut the door but saw Thomas waiting behind me, carrying his backpack in his hand. Her eyes widened, realising that he wasn’t someone delivering takeaway pamphlets, that he was with me.
‘Oh, I’m sorry! Do come in.’
‘Mum, this is my boyfriend, Thomas ...’ I began, then realised I didn’t actually know his last name.
‘Coggeshall,’ he supplied, pronouncing it ‘cog-shawl’. ‘It’s Old English, from a town in Essex,’ he added as if we might be wondering.
I looked at him in surprise. ‘Coggeshall is near Braintree, where Mercy lived at the rectory. How strange!’
‘Who’s Mercy?’ asked my mother, looking between us curiously.
‘It’s a long story.’
‘Well, nice to meet you, Thomas Coggeshall. I didn’t know Anna had a boyfriend, but you’re very welcome.’
She gave me a piercing look, and I shifted uncomfortably. Hopefully, she wouldn’t ask too many awkward questions about Thomas because I was only just getting to know him myself.
‘You can leave your bags there by the stairs. Come through to the lounge. We’re having an aperitif before dinner.’ She floated off in a cloud of Chanel.
Thomas looked at me. ‘All good?’
I nodded. ‘Though I feel like I should reapply my mascara after the freak-out. Do I look like a panda?’ Luckily, his shirt was black; otherwise, he’d have black smears on his shoulder.
He leaned forward to inspect my eyes, wiped at the edge of one with his thumb, then gave me a swift kiss on the cheek. ‘You look great. Should we walk in together holding hands?’
‘Yes, if that’s OK?’
‘Fine by me.’ He caught my sweaty hand in his less-sweaty one, and we approached the lounge, looking for all the world like we were an established couple. Having him support me in my time of need was a big deal and so nice of him. I didn’t think I could’ve faced my sister and ex alone, unless I was extremely drunk.
Here we go, I thought as we went through into the light, bright lounge that looked out onto the greenery of Cleveland Square. My stomach dipped as I braced myself to see the man who’d cheated on me and barely offered an explanation for his actions. But the lounge was empty apart from my mother, sitting in a cream round-armed chair. The matching cream buttoned sofa had no one on it.
I looked around the room as if they might have been hiding behind one of the potted palms, about to jump out. But there was no sign of them.
‘Is it only us?’
‘Beth is in the kitchen fixing some G and Ts.’
My heart sank. So she was here.
‘Just to warn you, you’ll need to tread carefully,’ my mother said in a confidential tone.
‘How come?’
‘Are you talking about me? I’m right here, you know,’ said a voice from behind my left shoulder. I slowly turned to see my sister, Beth, standing in the doorway. She was clutching an antique gilt tray with several glasses and a tall blue bottle of Bombay Sapphire.
Seeing her again after everything that had happened was shocking. She stalked into the lounge and tossed her long dark hair as she went past, almost smacking me in the face with it. I smelt her familiar lilac perfume—it smelt like betrayal.
‘You might as well sit down instead of standing there, gawking,’ she said, placing the tray on the oval coffee table and taking the other round-armed chair.
Thomas and I promptly sat on the couch opposite.
He looked at her and looked at me, his mouth slightly ajar. Beth was my spitting image; we were identical twins after all. We even dressed similarly. Today I was wearing black tailored pants and a cream silk top. She had on black tailored pants and a mauve silk top. Beth’s favourite colour was purple because she liked to think of herself as a spiritual person. Our long dark hair was long and loose, though she had a feathery side fringe. Her face and nose were slightly narrower.
She waved a hand at the tray of drinks. ‘Help yourselves. I brought out the bottle if you need it stronger. God knows I do.’ She collected a glass of G and T from the tray and sat back in the chair, crossing her legs. Then she eyed Thomas with interest. ‘Who’re you?’
Oh no, no way. She was not going to have him too! Wasn’t one boyfriend enough? And where the hell was Ben?
‘I’m Thomas, Anna’s boyfriend. And you are?’ he said politely, and I could’ve kissed him right there and then.
‘Beth,’ she said, sounding a bit rattled.
‘Where’s Ben?’ I asked. ‘Upstairs?’
My mother shook her head slightly at me as Beth sipped her drink, her forehead scrunching until her dark salon-shaped eyebrows almost met in the middle.
‘He’s only gone and dumped me,’ she spat.
I blew out my cheeks and grabbed the gin bottle. I was definitely going to need my G and T stronger.
***
‘Why didn’t you tell me they’d broken up?’ I whispered to my mother in the kitchen after we’d had our beef bourguignon. I’d reluctantly left Thomas with Beth in the dining room so I could help clear the dishes. I fervently hoped he’d still be there (and still mine) when I went back in.
‘Today was the first I’d heard of it. She turned up here alone and said he’d left her. It must’ve happened quite recently. Poor thing,’ my mother replied. ‘Thomas is nice, though. Where did you meet him?’
‘Er, on an Oxford Castle tour.’
Apparently, Beth had been asking Thomas the same thing as they were discussing it when I came back in with a plate of profiteroles.
Beth looked up at me with gin-soaked eyes and giggled. ‘Maybe I need to come to Oxford and go on this tour so I can meet a nice guy too,’ she slurred.
‘I think you’ve had enough,’ I said, removing the Bombay Sapphire out of her reach.
‘Aw, come on, Anna. Lighten up. Thomas has probably got a brother or a cousin I can hang out with.’
‘No,’ I said firmly. ‘He doesn’t.’
‘For God’s sake, don’t tell me you’re still angry about Ben? That was years ago.’ She pouted, biting delicately into a profiterole. ‘He’s dumped me too. That makes us even. So you can stop playing the moral high ground and bloody well forgive me.’
I was too stunned to say anything.
But Thomas wasn’t so speech-impaired. ‘Beth, I don’t know the exact details of what took place when Ben broke up with Anna and decided to go off with you. That’s because she’s polite and nice and doesn’t tell tales,’ he said evenly. ‘But I know what you did hurt her deeply, so deeply that she was dreading coming here tonight and seeing you. And now I know why.’
Beth didn’t say anything. She licked cream off her finger sullenly.
‘And for the record, I don’t think she should forgive you. But I hope she forgives herself because she deserves so much better from someone who’s her own flesh and blood.’
Thomas got up from the table and went into the kitchen, where I heard him running the tap to get a glass of water.
I blinked my eyes as they’d started brimming again. Thomas was really setting me off lately. And oh god, what he’d said was amazing. Hastily, I grabbed a couple of profiteroles, feeling like I’d rather spend the evening with him than listen to my sister’s drunken bleating.
‘I think it’s best if we eat these in our room. Thanks for dinner, Mum,’ I said and exited too, leaving a stony silence behind me.
He was right: some things in life were unforgivable.