Chapter I’m Safe, You’re Not
I'm Safe, You're Not
Keaton | The Past
For days, I wrestled with what was best for Charlie’s healing after Rianna sent me that damn video. The last thing I want is to undo any of the progress she’s clawed her way toward, but I also know this is something I can’t erase or hide from her.
Still wanting to respect Charlie's wishes of no contact, I decided to reach out to Alek a few days later. I have confidence that he'll get the information to Charlie, and then he can let me know where to go from here.
I snag a cold bottle of water from the fridge and step out onto the deck, hoping the night air will anchor me. I sink into a chair, stretch my tattooed feet onto the banister, and scroll to Alek’s name before pressing call.
Granite Bay always amazes me. For such a sprawling city, nights like this make the sky seem endless, the stars burning sharp and bright above the chaos.
Being under the stars with Charlie was always my favorite place in the world.
Sometimes we tangled together, skin to skin, but most nights, it was just us, existing side by side, content in the quiet.
That’s where we dreamed up our futures, traded secrets, and mapped out every hidden part of each other. Beneath the star-scattered sky, I learned the places that made her sigh, beg, and finally break apart in my arms.
It’s where I first told her I loved her, where I confessed I wanted to build a life with her. Babies, a shared name, the whole messy, beautiful future.
But it’s also the place where I shattered everything. Our love, our promises, all the things we swore would last.
"What's up, Keaton?" Alek answers.
Hearing his voice makes my jaw clench and my fist curl, the video’s images flashing behind my eyes. My neck muscles coil tight as I force the anger down. I have no right to feel it. Not now.
"Keaton? You there, man?"
Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep breath and blow it out, extinguishing my anger along with it. "Yeah, sorry." I clear my throat. "You busy?"
A door clicks shut in the background, and then a chair squeaks as he takes his seat again. "I got a few minutes. What can I do for you?"
I can hear the leeriness in his voice and, hell, I can't blame him.
Charlie is his best friend and the woman he is currently seeing.
Right now, she's really the only thing we have in common.
My friendship with David has grown somewhat, but even with Alek being his best friend, we don't really hang out together.
"A few nights ago, Rianna, at least I'm assuming it was her, sent me a video."
"Okay?"
"It was of you and Charlie in your apartment, and you all were being explicitly intimate."
I almost admire how flatly I say it. He can’t hear how much it gutted me, watching her unravel in someone else’s arms, how close it came to breaking me.
So fucking hypocritical of me, I know.
I'm learning to accept my faults even if I don't like them.
Alex spits out a few harsh curses. "You've got to be fucking shitting me. Charlie never catches a break from this bitch."
His words land exactly where they’re meant to, and I rub at the ache in my chest. If I hadn’t been so weak, Charlie wouldn’t have to keep reliving my betrayal. How can anyone heal when the wound keeps reopening? That’s why she cut me off in the first place.
"I'll take care of it, but I felt like you both had the right to know there is a video out there of you two," I tell him quietly.
"I can only do something about the copy I have on my phone.
Unfortunately, the only option we have to make sure this bitch doesn't spread this anymore is to go to the police. "
"And that's something you can't do without one of us," Alek states.
"Which is why I'm coming to you, man. I already have a case against Rianna, along with some other guys, for having sex with us unprotected while knowing she was infected.
I own my fuck-up with her. What I did was stupid, and it was the worst choice I've ever made.
Believe it or not, Alek, I didn't set out to fuck her that night.
Hell, if I had the chance to think for five fucking seconds with a clear mind, I truly don't think it'd have gotten that far. "
"So, what happened then?"
I let out a huff before pulling in a long drink of water, wishing it were something a lot stronger.
"A mixture of fucking everything and nothing at the same time.
I won't go into this too much because there will be a day when Charlie will hopefully want to talk about it, but I can give you a quick rundown.
Complacency, my insecurity, alcohol, noticing Charlie pulling away because I was being stupid with Rianna, which scared me-it all just kind of collided in that pool house.
So, when I followed Rianna in there and then saw her leaning against the wall with her pussy out, I just froze and my mind blanked.
It's like I became a zombie, and my brain went offline.
When it finally kicked back on fully, I was buried balls deep inside a pussy that didn't belong to my woman.
I knew it was happening, but I blocked it out because I couldn't admit to myself that I had become the one thing I had always actively despised.
You're not supposed to hurt the person you love like that, right? "
I exhale, suddenly aware I’ve drifted far from why I called. Lionel and Brock are the only ones I’ve confided in, and I didn’t realize until now how much I needed someone else to just listen.
“There’s no excuse for my actions. No matter what, I missed the signs and made choices I regret. Someday, if Charlie wants, I’ll be ready for honest conversation.”
The sounds of someone knocking on a door, then a man's deep voice in the background on Alek's side, have me pausing the conversation. Alek must cover the microphone because his replies are muffled.
There's a quiet snick as the door shuts behind the other person, and then Alek is back. "Sorry about that. We've got a late-night meeting. You called right as we were taking a break."
"Fuck. Sorry. You two should talk, then let me know what you want me to do with the video. For now, I have it locked in a secured folder along with all the other bullshit Rianna has continuously messaged me with over the last six months that I think would help my case against her."
Alek is quiet, but I swear I can hear the dude's brain going a million miles an hour as he taps something against his desk consistently.
"The only thing that bothers me about the video is that Charlie was filmed without her knowledge, and then shared with someone.
Even after what you did to her, we both know that's something she still wouldn't want you to see. Not because you don’t deserve to see her fucking someone else, but because no matter how much she fucking wants to, she's unable to hurt you the way you've done her.
All that being said, I think this is something you and she should work on together.
I think she's going with you to report Rianna will have a bigger impact. "
Just the thought of being around Charlie after not seeing her for so long has my heart racing so fast that I place my hand over my chest to be sure it is still in place.
I've done my best not to think of seeing her.
Well, not anytime soon. That's not to say I haven't seen her around the city.
Granite Bay isn't necessarily a huge city, but it's small enough that I've run into her a few times.
Thankfully, she didn't have to see me any of those times, because I walked away before she could.
"I don't know, man. Not sure that's a good idea. I'm fucking terrified to see her again. What if it just hurts her more to see and talk to me? David doesn't tell me much, but he said that she seemed to be getting better. She sounded that way when she called me the night the video was taken."
"You're sure I knew she was talking to you," he states with amusement.
"This is Charlie we're talking about, Alek. She's not going to keep something like that from someone she cares about. She's not me," I finish quietly.
"It's good to hear that you acknowledge that.
And Keaton, you're not a horrible guy. You're just a guy who made shit choices.
Choices that hurt someone you love deeply, but they're choices you seem to be learning from.
There will be a time when Charlie sees that, too.
Whether it goes anywhere in that moment will be on you two. "
My brows raise at that. "And you'll just walk away if that happens? No hard feelings?"
"Keaton, man, I've always been a placeholder in this spot in Lollie's life. We've both known that. The only way that changes is if she changes it. Won't lie. I'll be down for it if she wants it. That girl is fucking amazing, and it wouldn't take much to fall in love with her."
It’s wild how his words both comfort and infuriate me. “She’s the easiest fucking person in the world to fall in love with,” I say, my voice rough.
"Let me talk to Lollie about working with you on this. Let me get a feel for her thoughts and emotions on all of this, as well as working with you. I think she might surprise us both."
"Thanks, Alek."
"Right. I'll call you in the morning. Sound good?"
There are words that have been burning my tongue since he mentioned he could fall in love with Charlie if she gave him the green light. "Please don't hurt her," I blurt.
"What?"
I blow out a breath and jump to my feet.
My bare feet slap against the wooden planks of the deck as I travel from one end to the other and back again.
"Please don't hurt her. I know you said you're only a placeholder in Charlie's life, but she cares about you.
It may be surface level, as you believe, but I've loved that girl nearly half my life, Alek. She chose you for a reason."
"I make her feel safe, Keaton. I'm not stupid.
I know Charlie cares about me. She's not the type of person to sleep with someone if she didn't, but she also knows I'm no threat to her heart.
Yes, it's possible I can hurt her, but I'll never be able to destroy her as you did.
That's why she chose me, man. Because neither me nor any other guy is ever going to get close enough to risk that happening again. I'm safe. You, Keaton, are not."
"And that's the biggest thing I need to prove to her, other than how remorseful I am," I state with realization.
"Ding, ding, ding. Give the dude a cookie, folks," Alek mutters. "There's still no guarantee, but if you want to work on getting your girl back, prove that she's safe with this new version of you. You'll get the chance to start tomorrow. Got to get back to the meeting. Later, man."
I drop back down into my patio chair with a groan.
Sure, I want to see Charlie. I always want to see her, but it feels like it's been so long since I've sat in front of her face-to-face, and I'm goddamn terrified.
I've been working a lot on myself to change the person I was into the person I want to be, but I don't know if she'll be able to see it when she looks at me.
The last thing I want to do is cause Charlie any more pain than I already have.
Alek has spent the last six months with her, so I'm going to trust him when it comes to my butterfly.
He's not going to want to see her hurt any more than I do.
Blowing out a breath, I lean my head back against the chair and gaze up at the stars.
That's another hard part about all of this.
The fact that another man is in a position to help make decisions with Charlie.
I accept it, just like I do with any of the consequences I've come across since I cheated on Charlie, but as Lionel has said, I'm also allowed to admit the parts that hurt me too, as long as I acknowledge that I'm the reason for the hurt I'm feeling.
Fuck. I suppose while I'm sitting here in the dark admitting things to the creatures of the night, I might as well admit that there's a part of me that fucking wants to lay into Alek's pretty boy face and feel his skin splitting beneath my fists.
It's something I'll never do or voice out loud.
I will admit it, though. I appreciate the way he's taken care of her over the last six months, but that doesn't mean there's not a part of me that dislikes him for it, too.
Is it right? Fuck no. But according to my therapist, it means I'm fucking human.
Holy fuck. Tomorrow, I’ll probably stand face to face with Charlie after months of just orbiting the edges of her world.
My heart glows even as my hands tremble and my eyes sting.
If she agrees. Maybe neither of us is ready, but I can’t pretend I’m not excited—or that I’m not aching to see her again.