Chapter XL Milk
XL Milk
Water splashes as Arvi moves over to my end of the tub, straddling my legs. He frames my face in both hands and tilts it up until I have no choice but to look into his amber eyes. He frowns as if surprised by what he sees.
“Why do you look like you’re about to cry?”
I huff with a small smile, swallowing against the tightness in my throat. “Since when are you so perceptive?”
His lips twist in disapproval. “I asked first.”
“Well, it’s stupid, since I’ve done the same thing to Magnar and I shouldn’t…”
“Yeah, no. Get to the point, or I’ll put you over my knee.”
I snap my mouth shut and glare at him. He tongues the hoop in his lip, waiting, and I’m overwhelmed by how handsome and lovely he is, unhinged and wild, yes, but so dear.
“I guess I felt rejected when you didn’t say it back,” I mumble.
“Huh.” We blink at each other. Arvi’s face twists in a feral grin, baring all those sharp teeth I don’t fear anymore since they are there to protect me, and he laughs.
“Didn’t say it back. Tell me, sweet, don’t you know anything about poetry?”
“Of course I know a lot about poetry,” I scoff, annoyed that he doesn’t treat my feelings seriously.
The least he could do is say sorry. Or better, nothing at all. This is humiliating.
“Yes, I imagine you do. I like poetry. It has this uncanny ability to convey things in beautiful, non-obvious ways.”
He watches me expectantly, and when I raise my eyebrows in question, he snorts.
“Wow, Caliane. You’re an uneducated heathen.”
“Uneducated…” My jaw drops with outrage, and I raise my arm with the intention to swing, but he catches my wrist.
Oh, the annoying Agnidari, so preternaturally fast.
“You’re positively feral, like a child raised by wolves.” He laughs, catching my other wrist, and I fume at him.
“I won’t let you speak to me like… Mmm!”
He kisses me, still laughing, and my objections are swallowed by his eager tongue.
It’s no use. Arvi tastes like, well, Arvi, and I’ve only just discovered how good kissing him feels, so I give in and open to him.
His lips are warm this time, eager and soft, but when his erection brushes my stomach underwater, he pulls back. His eyes glint with wild mirth.
I am breathless, mind pleasantly blank. He speaks first, wearing an infinitely annoying—arousing—self-satisfied smirk.
“What do I call you, sweet?”
“Laruna,” I whisper.
“Mhm. And what did I say about larunas today?”
I frown. He said many things. “That they are your peace.”
He nods with a snicker, his thumb caressing my lower lip. “Yes. I also said they are the only thing I’ve ever loved.”
He watches me expectantly, and I frown. Does he mean…? But surely not. I blink, and Arvi curls his body forward, his forehead falling against mine. He laughs quietly.
“I see you need it spelled out. See, that’s bad, because I don’t like to spell out mushy shit. I thought I was so clever, saying that to you. I was sure you’d get it, but evidently, they taught you all the wrong things, princess.”
“I… Will you?” I ask, my voice small. My heart thunders sickly, and I flutter with nerves.
I am terrified I misunderstood him. The anxiety eats me alive, and I don’t understand why, but I don’t think I can believe his feelings without absolute proof.
“Yeah. Anything for you.” He takes a big breath, his face mellowing. “I love you, too, you feral heathen.”
I don’t feel insulted by that, because my relief surges in potent waves.
I tug him closer for a kiss, and he obliges with a soft groan, burying his hand in my hair.
Our tongues dance, and I try to raise myself to be closer, but he presses me down and controls the movements of my head with his hand, growling when I reach for his erection underwater.
“No. Fuck. Slow down. I can’t fuck you right now. You need the oil, and I’ll pass out, anyway. Let me breathe.”
I stop moving, even though I throb with wanting.
His body is magnificent, lean and defined, the tattoos lewd in delicious ways.
His cock still terrifies me somewhat, but he’s been inside me a few times, and I know he won’t hurt me.
Now it stands between us like a cudgel ready to strike, pulsing as he takes deep, shaky breaths.
“I just want to remember it,” he whispers miserably. “How you feel. I want to be lucid enough to tell you things when I’m inside you. Maybe try more poetry you’ll never understand. Feral girl. You aren’t really a romantic, are you, laruna?”
A shiver runs down my spine when he calls me that because now I know what it means. Every time he calls me that word, he says he loves me, that I’m precious, that he’ll protect me.
“I brought two of my favorite romance books with me,” I say with a chagrined smile.
“They are na?ve. I used to love them, and I think they are very romantic. Too much, probably. Now that I think back… The princesses and knights in those books don’t seem to feel desire at all. Only ephemeral, chaste love.”
He chuckles, pulling away. He’s still hard, but not fully, and his eyes are bright with presence.
“Yeah, I bet there’s no mention of cocks and pussies in there.”
“Of course not.”
“I’d like to read them, anyway. And I can lend you my favorite book once you learn our language. Or I could translate it out loud for you. Be warned, it’s lascivious. You’ll blush a lot, and you’ll love it. Magnar will thank me because you’ll be horny for days.”
I smile and caress his cheek. “I’d like that.”
“Yeah? For now… Can I just hold you? Is that all right?”
I look up, and there’s uncertainty in his eyes where before was so much lovely arrogance. I smile and nod.
“As long as it’s with you, I’ll love it. Of course, it’s all right.”
He settles against the other end of the tub and motions me closer. I straddle his thighs and lay my head on his chest with a deep sigh. His heart beats fast, and he’s half-hard, his length pressed tightly between our bodies.
“I hate that I can’t fuck you like them,” he whispers.
“It’s ironic, you know? When I lived in the barracks and I whipped it out to piss, the other soldiers were so fucking envious.
But I always had trouble with sex. That’s why that woman I told you about, the one I was seeing, tried other things.
Cause I couldn’t do it the normal way without blacking out or hurting her. ”
I hum, thinking as I stroke his side. “Well, I for one don’t need more of the same,” I say softly.
“Each of you is different, and I cherish and appreciate them—and you. I adore kissing you, Arvi. Can’t get enough.
And when you’re inside me… Well, you can’t move much, that’s true, but you’re the heaviest. It’s…
I don’t think I ever told you. That heaviness is utter bliss.
It’s as if it presses into all my fears, all my burdens, and crushes them one by one. ”
“Really?” His voice is hoarse and relaxed, head tilted back. Droplets of water spiral down his bared throat. “I had no idea. Maybe… Could we try with you lying on top of me? The way Magnar fucks you until you lock him in?”
“Oh.” My cheeks flame, body going pliant and eager from even just the memory of it. “It… We can. But you saw me with him. I… It’s intense.”
“Mmm. I’d love to do that to you. Make you squirt all over me with my heavy cock inside you. Though we don’t know if it will work if I’m in your ass. You wanna try, though? Tonight? It’s my turn, and Raduna’s if you can take him.”
I squirm with arousal, and he sighs, his erection growing harder as he lowers his head to peek at me. He seems so earnest, eyes dark, and I capitulate.
“Yes. We can try tonight. But please, no more than four.”
“Oh, come on. Magnar got you to take four orgasms. Can’t I make you come five times?”
I shake my head, genuine dread stirring in my belly. “Then I’ll black out, and I… I don’t want to.”
“All right. No more than four. I promise.”
His smile is eager and bright, and I smile back, running my hands over the planes of his chest, his defined shoulders. Then I stand and caress his bald head, and Arvi captures my breast in his mouth, suckling gently.
“Oh! But I thought…”
“Mmm. Just a moment. I love these. So soft. Do you think I could drink some of your milk after you give birth? I always thought it was hot.”
I step away, alarmed, not so much by the idea itself, though it’s preposterous. I’m terrified he knows what I haven’t admitted even to myself, and I have to squeeze my hand into a fist so it doesn’t touch my belly. Arvi watches me carefully, and finally snorts.
“Relax, little heathen. I won’t if you don’t like it. It was just an idea.”
“Milk is for babies,” I say stiffly.
He grins, the silver hoop glinting. “Sure. And cum is for making babies, but you swallow it just the same.”
He tugs me closer, and I straddle his thighs reluctantly, my cheeks flaming. He grows serious, caressing my face with a warm palm.
“I know it’s depraved. You’re right, breast milk is for babies, and grown men shouldn’t want it.
Honestly, maybe it’s just me. I kind of missed out.
My mother didn’t breastfeed me, because my father wanted me to grow as big and strong as a bull, and he commanded her to feed me cow’s milk.
I got sick a lot as a child. Almost died once.
So when I think about a woman’s tits filled with milk… Yeah. Don’t hate me.”
I sigh and let my tension melt away. “I could never hate you. Just… I… The idea of children and… and mating… side by side… doesn’t sit well with me.”
It’s as much as I can say. My father’s ghost hovers over my shoulder like a curse, and I press myself into Arvi as I try to forget everything that shouldn’t have happened, and just be safe.
“Oh.” He sounds surprised, his hands light on my back. “I didn’t even think of it like that. I mean, obviously, the baby wouldn’t be there when we… But I see. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”
We soak in silence, just holding each other until Raduna comes in, his hair and clothes soaked.