Chapter 20 #2
I’m still not sure what’s happening here, if it’s real or pretend, but I’m committed to this summer. I’m committed to living with Jason, being with him, and letting myself feel whatever I want to feel.
* * *
That night, Jason doesn’t sleep on the couch.
He sleeps in my bed. And we make love, like a real engaged couple.
I didn’t ask Jason to explain what happened earlier or what it meant.
I didn’t want to know, not yet. Or maybe I’ll never ask.
It might be better to not know and just continue as if this were real.
In the morning, we take my parents to the airport.
If Jason and I had broken up yesterday, I would’ve told my parents I’d see them next week and would be moving into my old room until I found an apartment.
But instead, I’m moving to Haydon Falls.
Jason called Brody, who agreed to come here today and help move everything out of my apartment.
It shouldn’t take long. It’s a really small apartment and I don’t have much stuff.
This is all happening really fast, which is good. Having more time would just make me think about it and I might change my mind. Like my dad told Jason, thinking just leads to coming up with reasons for not doing things. It’s better to just take action.
‘We’re here,’ I say to Nora as I answer her call. We’re meeting her for a quick breakfast before going back to my place to pack. ‘Where are you?’
‘Outside on the patio. I’m the really hot girl with the black tank top and denim shorts, sipping a mimosa.’
I smile. I’m going to miss her unique sense of humor. I spot Nora as Jason and I go out to the patio.
‘Over here.’ I keep hold of Jason’s hand as I lead him to the table where Nora’s sitting.
She jumps up when she sees me and gives me a hug. ‘Tell me you’re not leaving today.’
‘I know it’s soon. I’m sorry. I’m really going to miss you.’
‘I’ll miss you too, but it’s only an hour away. And now I’ll have somewhere to go on the weekends.’ She looks at Jason, smiling as her gaze moves down his body. ‘You’re Jason, huh? You are not what I expected.’
‘I’m not sure what that means,’ he says with a laugh.
‘It means she thinks you’re hot,’ I tell him. ‘I told her you were, but I don’t think she believed me.’
We sit down at the table.
‘We have different definitions of that word,’ Nora explains as she picks up her mimosa and takes a sip. ‘Like when Mia set me up with this guy. She said he was cover model hot and well . . . let’s just say he was not my type.’
‘He looked better at the bar,’ I tell Jason. ‘But the lighting was dark and I’d had a few drinks.’
‘I never let her set me up again,’ Nora says.
‘Mia said you’re a professor,’ Jason says.
She nods. ‘I teach physics to pimply teenagers who complain constantly and don’t want to be there.’
‘So you like your job,’ Jason kids.
‘Love it.’ She sips her drink.
‘Speaking of professors,’ I say, ‘did you ever call up the one from the sandwich shop?’
‘Yeah, we already went out. We met during lunch at the frozen yogurt place, which I know is really lame for a date, but we didn’t have much time.’
‘How was he? Do you like him?’
‘I’m not sure.’ She crinkles her nose. ‘He ate his yogurt with one of those tiny spoons. You know the kind they give you for the samples?’
‘Maybe he was trying to make the yogurt last longer.’
‘I don’t know, but it was weird. That might be our last date.’
‘Because he used a tiny spoon? I think you’re being too hard on him.’ I look at Jason. ‘What do you think?’
‘It’s weird. Why would a grown man use a spoon that small? And he uses it on a date? That’s weird.’
‘See?’ Nora says to me. ‘Even your boyfriend agrees.’
‘Fiancé.’ I show her the ring. ‘He made it official.’
She laughs. ‘I know you told me that on the phone, but it’s not real, right? You were just playing along. You’re not actually engaged.’
Jason and I don’t answer.
Nora’s eyes bounce back and forth between Jason and me. ‘What’s going on? Why aren’t you saying anything? The engagement is fake.’ She pauses. ‘Right?’
Jason looks at me. ‘I meant what I said yesterday. To me, this engagement is real.’
I’m too shocked to say anything. I wanted his proposal to be real, but I didn’t think it actually was.
‘I’m going to go use the restroom,’ Nora says, getting up. ‘Let you two talk.’
Jason waits for her to leave, then turns to me. ‘I know we’re not ready to get married, and I know it may never happen, but I’m committed to this, Mia. I’m committed to trying to see if this could work.’
‘But what does that mean? You said you wouldn’t move.’
‘We’ll talk about that when it’s time. For now, I want to focus on us.
We need to figure out if we actually want to be together, but we can’t do that if we’re just pretending, or telling ourselves that’s all it is.
We need to give this a real chance, with a real engagement.
We need to stop playing games and take this seriously.
’ He pauses. ‘Mia, say something. Anything.’
‘I agree. With everything you just said. I just can’t believe you said it. I didn’t think you wanted this. The way you kept going back and forth—’
‘Forget all that. I was just scared. I still am. But fuck, I’m going to be a dad soon. I need to grow the hell up and stop running from things that may not work out. We have one chance here, Mia, and I’m not letting it slip away.’
‘So we’re really engaged,’ I say, gazing down at my ring.
‘The engagement is real, but the ring’s not. I don’t have the money right now to get you a real ring.’
Nora returns, sitting across from us. ‘So? What’d you decide? Should I be ordering champagne?’
‘If I wasn’t pregnant, then yes,’ I say.
‘Are you serious? This is real?’
‘It’s real,’ Jason says, holding my hand.
‘Congratulations!’ Nora pops up from her chair and comes around the table to give me a hug.
We have breakfast, and as we’re waiting for the check, Jason leaves to answer a call from Brody.
‘You’re really getting married?’ Nora says in a hushed tone, even though Jason’s nowhere near us. ‘You barely know him.’
‘I feel like I know him better than guys I’ve dated for months. There’s something about Jason that feels so familiar, like I’ve known him forever.’
‘Yeah, but still. Are you really going to marry him?’
‘We don’t know if we’re getting married, but the engagement is real. We’re going to live together this summer and see if this is really what we want to do.’
‘All this from a one-night stand?’ She sighs. ‘I don’t even get a text the next day and you get a proposal.’
‘But I’m also pregnant. I don’t think you’d want that part.’
‘Not yet. Kids are few years off.’ She reaches across the table and puts her hand on mine. ‘As crazy as this is, you look really happy.’
‘I am. I’m also scared it won’t work out.’
‘If it doesn’t, you’ll be okay. You know that, right? You’re strong, smart, and more than capable of doing this on your own.’
I smile. ‘Remind me of that if it doesn’t work out.’
‘I really hope it does. He seems like a good guy. And damn, he’s hot. I was not expecting that. Hey, didn’t you say he had brothers?’
‘Yes, three, and they’re all taken.’
‘Of course they are,’ she says, rolling her eyes.
‘You’ll find someone.’
‘Yeah, guys who eat frozen yogurt with tiny spoons.’ She holds up her phone. ‘He texted me just now. He wants to meet for coffee.’
‘Are you going?’
‘Maybe, but if he drinks it out of a miniature cup, we are definitely done.’
Jason returns. ‘Brody will be at your place in a few minutes. We should head over there.’
‘Yeah, okay.’
We say goodbye to Nora, then go to my apartment and pack up my things. A few hours later, everything’s loaded in Jason’s truck, Brody’s truck, and my car. I say goodbye to Madison, my home for the last two years, and head to my new home in Haydon Falls.
There’s no turning back now. I’m doing this. No more fake fiancé. No more fake engagement. This is real. From here on out, it’s all real.