Chapter 5
5
Cole
T he moment Cole stepped into the house, the strange scent that clung to Kai’s skin engulfed him. Cole stopped for a moment, lifting his head to sniff at the air. His wolf lurched to attention, and Cole’s body responded powerfully—his cock hardened and his skin tingled with the desire to shift. His wolf wanted out to claim his mate and bind Kai to him forever. But he needed to approach what happened next with calculated caution.
He closed the door to prevent any possibility of Kai getting out of the house and walked toward Kai’s room, the scent getting stronger, along with the smell of fear. Cole swallowed hard. This could make or break whatever progress he hoped to make with Kai. “Kai?”
His call did not receive an answer, although he didn’t really expect one under the circumstances. He tried again, and when silence met his question once more, he carefully opened the door. The room appeared empty, but he could hear the sound of Kai’s heart beating fierce and fast against the young man’s rib cage. Cole swallowed and walked farther into the room. The sound came from beneath the bed, and he lowered himself to the floor, not certain what he expected to find. What he found stole his breath.
Copper-red and golden-blond fur, thick enough to make any wolf envious, shimmered in the dim light beneath the bed. A tail white as snow covered Kai’s slender, feline-like face, while black paws were pulled close to the slight form. His mate was a fox! Cole’s heart expanded, and he curled his fingers into his palm. Kai took his breath away. Cole had imagined many things since realizing Kai wasn’t entirely human. Of course, he’d thought some form of wolf, not a fox! Cole had never heard of any shifters except wolves before. Did his father, or anyone in his pack for that matter, even know there were fox shifters? It also made him frown mentally at Kai’s reaction to Cole shifting. If Kai could change into a fox, why had he acted so shocked and surprised on the plane?
Cole realized Kai had his gaze trained on the bedroom door and knew if he didn’t try to stop him, Kai would attempt to flee. “Don’t run, Kai. Please.”
When Kai stilled and his attention returned to Cole, Cole hid a sigh of relief. He eased his body closer to the ground, until his belly rested on the carpeted floor. He wouldn’t push for anything Kai didn’t seem ready to give, but he couldn’t imagine walking away anytime soon. Smiling, Cole laid his chin on his forearm. “I always thought wolf shifters were it, you know? That we were the only ones out there who could change into another form. I can’t believe we never knew about others. How long have you been able to shift? Since puberty, I’m guessing. When I turned thirteen, my whole world changed, but in a good way.”
Kai sort of snorted in answer, and Cole paused. “You didn’t see it as a good thing, did you?”
Of course, waiting for Kai to answer seemed pointless. “Are you able to shift at will?”
Kai tipped his head in a slight nod.
“Will you change back and talk with me, Kai?” Cole asked. “Please? I’d like to know more about your kind.”
Kai hesitated, and Cole figured moving away would give his mate some level of comfort. He slowly rose to a sitting position and then scooted in reverse until he hit the wall near the door. When Kai didn’t come out immediately, Cole wondered if he would at all, but then he saw a flash of hazel eyes as Kai crawled from beneath the bed. Cole sucked in a breath at being able to see his mate in his entirety, out of amazement, but also out of sheer rage. He could clearly see each and every ridge on Kai’s body, the way his fur clung to his rib cage and hips and how malnourished he was. It broke his heart, and he barely managed to stifle a howl of anguish. The scars around Kai’s throat as a human carried over to his fox but were more evident, awful slashes of white, patchy hair circled the vulnerable flesh. Cole knew it took years and years of continuous damage or major trauma for a shifter to retain any scars. He was pretty certain fox shifters must have the same capabilities as wolves.
He balled his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms. He’d seen the damage on Kai’s human body, of course, but to see it in his second form only cemented how badly he would hurt the person who’d done this to his precious mate. It also brought home the hopelessness of gaining Kai’s trust. He couldn’t blame Kai if the man never trusted another person in his life.
He squared his jaw, hiding his pain and anger, and tried to smile at Kai again. Did Kai change the same way his kind did? He got his answer shortly. A flash of light and then Kai crouched there in human form, shaking his head. Cole swore he would force feed Kai every second of every day if he had to. Tomorrow, he’d ask Julie to watch over the greenhouses for a bit longer. He needed to take care of some things, including spending more time with Kai while he could and making sure his mate took care of himself.
Kai finally looked up at him and sat, leaning against the side of the bed. He seemed to be nearly holding his breath for something.
“When did you first change?” Cole asked.
At the innocuous question, Kai seemed to relax a fraction. “Thirteen.”
“Are there others like you?”
“None I’ve ever met.”
Cole grunted. “What about your parents? Where are they?”
“Dead.”
“I see,” Cole murmured. “How long?”
Kai tensed again and dropped his gaze to the floor. “Ten years.”
Cole sensed they were close to a topic Kai didn’t want to discuss and dropped it. He hungered, craved, to know more about Kai’s past and to know who had put those scars on Kai. “I remember my first shift. I found it disconcerting, and I couldn’t have been more uncoordinated.”
Hazel eyes met his again. “Yeah?”
Cole nodded. “Definitely. I expected it, though, having grown up in a pack and having my parents by my side. I felt this power trickling along my skin. Kind of tickled, actually.”
A small smile flickered across Kai’s lips, and Cole kept talking. He’d give anything to see a full-blown grin on his mate’s face. “The hardest thing to get used to was going from knowing how to walk on two feet to suddenly having to control four, I think. Even expecting the change didn’t make it any easier.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Cole recounted his first shift and the way he’d felt. He studied Kai while he talked, enjoying the emotions chasing one another over Kai’s features. Obvious moments of Kai’s memories of his own first change were evident in the dawning light of recognition and the occasional darkening of Kai’s expression.
“I love to run, to feel the earth beneath my paws,” Cole said. “There’s nothing as freeing or exhilarating.”
Kai picked at a loose string on his jeans. “I… I have never been able to do that.”
“No? Well one day, once you’re healed, we’ll run together, okay, kit?” Cole offered, the pet name rolling off his tongue without thought. He held his breath a bit to see how Kai would respond to his offer and the name.
When Kai nodded without comment, a tiny flicker of hope twitched inside Cole’s chest. Maybe it wasn’t entirely impossible for Kai to learn to trust him. “Did you eat?” Cole asked.
“Yes.”
Cole glanced at his watch to find most of the day had gone. “I want to take you to meet my father. See if he has any idea about your people.”
Kai instantly balked. “No!”
“Why?” Cole frowned. “He may know something about where you come from.”
“I don’t want anyone else to know,” Kai muttered.
Cole crossed his legs and leaned forward a bit. “I know you’re afraid, Kai, but you don’t have to be. No one here is going to hurt you.”
Kai glared at Cole. “You can’t possibly know what others will do.”
Cole restrained his frustration. “I do know.”
“How can you? You don’t read minds, do you?” Horror entered Kai’s gaze, and Cole considered for a split second teasing Kai but figured it would be better to be honest.
“I don’t have to read their minds, Kai. My father is the Alpha of our pack. I’m next in line to lead them, and you are my mate, which means no one will harm you.”
“Stop saying that,” Kai grunted, glare deepening.
“I can’t stop saying it. You are my mate,” Cole said. “No one here would dare lay a finger on you, kit. I promise you the only thing my father wants to do is to help.”
Kai shook his head again. “No.”
Sighing, Cole ran one hand over his face. The hopeless feeling settled in his chest again, snuffing out the small flame of hope. What would it take for Kai to trust him? “All right. I won’t bring him here.”
The tension in Kai’s shoulders relaxed a fraction.
“I still have to tell him about you, though, Kai.”
With those words, the tension ignited all over again. “Why?”
“Because you’re in pack territory, and while you remain in the house, no one will pick up your scent, but once you’re outside these walls, you’ll encounter at least a dozen members. Quite a bit of the population here is wolf.”
Kai made a small sound of terror, brought his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. “What?”
Cole remained silent for several moments and then asked, “What do you know about wolves?”
“Not much,” Kai whispered.
Cole had already gathered Kai wasn’t well-schooled. Oh, Kai spoke pretty well, but there didn’t seem to be much knowledge about some things in particular. “Wolves are very territorial. We live in packs with an Alpha and a hierarchy system. Beneath the Alpha are his Betas.”
“Betas?” Kai interrupted.
“Betas are much like soldiers, bodyguards in a way. They’d give their lives to protect the Alpha and the pack. They’re the ones called upon when something or someone needs to be taken care of.”
“I see,” Kai replied.
“The idea bothers you, doesn’t it?” Cole asked.
Kai hesitated, and Cole gestured for him to speak his mind. “It… it seems stupid to put yourself in harm’s way to keep someone else safe. What makes someone so important they would give their own life to protect them?”
“What about the President of the United States?” Cole challenged gently. “There are men and women who put themselves at risk every day to guard him. Without a leader, the nation would fall to pieces. A pack is much the same way. The Alpha is there to guide and protect his pack. Without an Alpha, there’d be no order, only chaos. Eventually there would either be a new Alpha, or the pack would scatter to the winds, hoping to join another.”
“Has anyone asked them if they want one?” Kai asked curiously.
Cole smiled. “Each member is free to make a choice of whether to stay or go. The only thing asked of them is to keep our secret and to obey the Alpha when necessary. Usually during times there is danger to us or them. My father is not a dictator and neither will I be when I take over.”
“Are there Al-alphas who are?”
“Yes. There are Alphas out there who do not care for their own. They are selfish and put their people in jeopardy every day. But they’re usually the kind who did not grow up into the position. They are ones who challenged the previous Alpha and won. They’re power hungry, willing to do anything to be in charge, even kill.”
Cole gave Kai a bit of time to process the information before continuing. “Anyway, as I said before, wolves are very territorial, and if they find someone unknown on their lands, they will react. We have very keen senses even in our human forms. It wouldn’t take long for them to know you are not entirely human, Kai. It’s very dangerous for you to be in our area unannounced. If you leave here without my protection and without the others knowing of your presence in the area, you could get hurt. If you are insistent on my not telling anyone what you are, you must promise me you won’t leave this house without me. Understand?”
Cole saw the almost imperceptible twitch Kai gave. “Talk to me, kit. Please. What’s going on in your head?”
At first, he didn’t think Kai would respond, but then Kai replied, “I’m a prisoner, then.”
Heart clenching at the desolate tone in Kai’s voice, Cole protested, “No! It’s not like that at all.”
“Isn’t it?” Kai asked. “I’m to be held in this… this cage until you are ready to let me go.”
Cole clenched his jaw as his heart broke. “Do you really see it that way? I’ve done nothing except take care of you from the moment I found you. There are no bars on the windows, no locked doors, nothing to keep you here. Do you truly believe you’re in a prison?”
When silence met his question, Cole had his answer. Even after all he’d done to show Kai he wanted nothing except to help him, Kai still thought of him as merely a roadblock to his freedom. If he hadn’t already been seated, Cole would have dropped to his knees. His lungs constricted and robbed him of air. He felt strangled. Cole swallowed several times to stem his emotions, at least long enough to excuse himself from the room and Kai’s presence. His wolf had gone quiet, retreating further into Cole’s subconscious.
“I will abide by your wishes,” Cole managed to get out. “No one will know of your true nature.”
Cole managed to drag himself to his feet and turn toward the door. He opened it and stepped through, his hand still on the knob when he stopped. “I hope in time you’ll come to understand I want nothing except to make sure you are safe and happy.”
He didn’t give Kai a chance to scoff at his words before closing the door behind him. Gods, if this crushing feeling crowding his chest was anything similar to what Nick had endured for six months, he commended his friend and Beta for his strength. Cole scarcely had entered his bedroom before he hit his knees. From the moment he learned about true mates, he’d always imagined what kind of person his would be. It never mattered to him about gender or looks. He’d figured they would be someone smaller since Alpha pairings tended to end up with one larger than the other. He’d never in any of his musings about his other half thought they’d be as damaged as Kai. Most people wouldn’t think of such a thing, he supposed.
To have found his mate only to have to let him go again seemed beyond unbearable. Cole had suffered a broken bone or two in his life, scrapes and bruises, and been in plenty of scuffles with pack members on the night of the full moon. But the pain in his heart and soul compared to nothing he’d ever experienced. He knew he’d have no choice except to figure out how to move on, to live, once Kai left, if he could. His family and his pack were relying on him to take over from his father when Elijah stepped down. He didn’t have the luxury of falling apart. However, he needed at least a little while to lick his wounds in private and build up to putting on a courageous front.
Cole couldn’t say how long he knelt there, head down and hands hanging at his side. All he knew was when he finally managed to look up, the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, and his room had grown dim. The clock on his nightstand showed the time was a little after eight. Hoisting himself from the floor, Cole left his room and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. He noted the light from beneath Kai’s door as he passed, ignoring the twinge of relief he felt at seeing Kai hadn’t run from the house. Except it wouldn’t make sense for Kai to leave. After all, he’d be getting what he wanted in a matter of a month. Why run?
Even though the walls were mostly windows, Cole felt stifled, penned in. He needed to get away. Now. He didn’t even stop to consider letting Kai know. He had to get out. The front door didn’t even have time to close behind him before he shifted and took off at a run, paws digging into the grass and dirt. His wolf let forth a long, mournful howl, and Cole allowed his mind to shut down, to become nothing except the animal. No more thinking, wondering, stressing. None of it mattered. He raced into the forest surrounding his property, desperate to find a release of some kind.
The skies darkened, and the almost-full moon rose higher into the night. Cole’s wolf hunted and stalked a small rabbit, capturing its prey easily. The taste of blood stirred its primal urges into a greater frenzy. It wanted its mate and knew just where to find it. Cole stirred when he sensed his wolf’s desire to turn back to the house, to go to Kai and end the torment in both their souls. He battled with his inner beast, struggling to keep control and stop it from doing something they would both regret. Kai would never forgive them if they took him without his consent. Cole hated the idea of being bound to a Kai who hated him more than a Kai who merely distrusted him.
Cole forced himself to shift to human form. “No!” he snarled at his wolf. “He doesn’t want us.”
Cole’s wolf howled its grief within him, and Cole lifted his face to the moon above, his hands fisting in the soft grass and fallen leaves beneath his legs. He prayed to have the strength to get through the next four weeks without falling apart. He begged for the courage to set Kai free as he’d promised, to watch his true mate walk away from both of them.
“Cole.”
Jerking slightly, Cole forgot strong emotions could stir the mental connection to the pack Alpha, his father. “Cole, come to me.”
He shook his head. He’d promised Kai not to tell anyone what Kai was. “Come to me now.”
The sharp bark of his Alpha sent Cole surging to his feet. A wolf could not ignore the swell of power buried in the command. Cole shifted and ran in the direction of his parents’ home. They lived about fifteen miles from his own place, but a wolf could cover the distance in a short amount of time. Cole reached the pack manor in minutes, panting from the exertion. His tongue lolled out to the side as his father exited the front door to stand at the top of the porch steps. “Come inside, Cole. Your mother and I want to talk to you.”
He could have refused to shift, remained in his wolf form, but his mother would kill him if he tracked mud into her foyer. Shifting, he stood before his father, head hung low in a defeated posture. His father came down the steps and put a warm arm around Cole’s shoulders, urging him up those same planks of wood and into the home he’d grown up in. His father squeezed him when they entered the living room, and his mother came to him and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “We’ve missed you, my love,” she said.
“I’ve missed you too, Mom.”
Sara released him. “Nick told us you found him.”
Cole nodded, finally raising his head to meet their gazes. “I did.”
Elijah gestured for him to sit and sat down in his usual chair near the fireplace. “Sit. Tell us what has happened to upset you.”
Cole didn’t want to rehash everything right then. His emotions were still too raw, abraded, but he knew his parents wouldn’t allow him to remain silent. He began, detailing what condition Kai was in when he found him, the scars and fear his mate carried, but he let his voice fade away when he came to what he’d discovered about Kai tonight.
“What, Cole?” Sara prodded. “Please tell us.”
“Dad?”
Elijah gave a small nod.
“Have you ever seen… other shifters?” Cole started tentatively. He knew he’d be breaking his promise to Kai, but he couldn’t handle this on his own. Not yet.
Frowning, Elijah tilted his head in a curious gesture. “You know we have, Cole.”
“I don’t mean wolves, Dad. I mean other shifters who aren’t wolves.”
Sara and Elijah both gave him a look of surprise. “I suppose I’ve always wondered if we wolves were the only ones, but I’ve never seen others aside from wolves,” Elijah answered slowly. “Why do you ask?”
Cole swallowed and looked down at his feet. He shoved the guilt he felt aside and whispered, “Kai is a shifter.”
“But that’s wonderful news!” Sara exclaimed. “Isn’t it? Then he understands how the mating bond works.”
“He’s not a wolf shifter,” Cole answered.
He sensed his father leaning forward before a large tanned hand came to rest on his knee. Cole took comfort in the affectionate gesture and placed his on top of his father’s. He looked at his parents. “He’s a fox.”
Sara gasped in reaction while his father remained solemn and quiet. “I found out today. He doesn’t want me to tell anyone, but I don’t know what to do.” Cole growled as he lunged to his feet and began pacing. “Everything is completely messed up right now. He hates me. He doesn’t trust me, and he doesn’t understand what a mate is.”
“But—”
Cole interrupted his mother. “He wasn’t raised by his parents, at least I’m assuming not. He won’t tell me anything. I shouldn’t even be telling you this. I promised him I wouldn’t. I just don’t think I can handle this on my own, Dad. I mean, I’ve always imagined what it would be like when I met my true mate for the first time. None of this ever occurred to me. I’ve never seen someone so… so broken before.”
Sara stood and approached him, grabbing his arm to stop his restless pacing. She reached up and cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his skin. “Oh, my love, no one is ever truly broken. Damaged maybe, hurt definitely. You have to earn his trust, to make him see how much you already care for him. I know you. I know your heart. You’re a good man, Cole, and it won’t take long for him to realize how good.”
Cole’s eyes burned with unshed tears. The last time he’d cried to his mother he’d still been in elementary school, but all he wanted now was to bury his head in her lap as he had then and weep his pain away. Blinking heavily, he gave her the best smile he could manage. “I don’t know if I have enough time for him to realize it, Mom.”
She frowned at him. “Why not?”
He told her of his deal with Kai, and she smacked him on the shoulder. He winced and rubbed at the spot. “Mom!”
She scowled. “Didn’t Nick’s situation show you how stupid that is?”
Nick had found his mate in a small town where a wolf pack believed only Native Americans could be true wolves. His mate, Thayne Whitedove, believed him to be a created wolf, a wolf who had nothing but animal instinct, dangerous to everyone around them. Despite Thayne discovering Nick had been born a wolf, he hadn’t wanted anything to do with Nick and rejected Nick’s claim as his mate. Nick had spent six months in a living hell. He’d run himself into the ground, a hard feat for a wolf to do. Cole and Ryan Driscoll, Nick’s business partner, had been unable to help Nick through that painful time.
Then during a business trip, Nick had been unexpectedly called to Wyoming, where Thayne needed his help to cut the ties between Thayne and the created wolf he’d accidentally made. The only way to sever the connection was for Thayne to submit to what he didn’t want, the mating. Nick had agreed to help his mate and suffered even more when Thayne continued to reject him despite the bond. It took time, but Thayne accepted Nick in the end, and while their relationship couldn’t be defined as perfect, they were gradually building on top of the rubble and strengthening their union every day.
“I thought I would have enough time,” Cole murmured. “I didn’t realize just how damaged he is.”
Sara sighed and hugged him once more. “Give him the chance to see who you are, Cole. Maybe he’ll surprise you.”
Cole gave a shuddery breath and wrapped his mother in a hard embrace. “Maybe.”
Elijah had been silent during their exchange, and it surprised Cole that he was still in the room when he spoke. “I need to understand more about him, Cole. Please sit and tell me everything you know.”
Cole released his mother and looked over at his father, nodding. “I don’t have much to tell you, though.”
After Cole relayed the precious little information he had about Kai and his animal spirit, Elijah rubbed at his chin. “I have a few contacts I can reach out to in the other packs. Perhaps one of them has encountered others of Kai’s lineage.”
“Don’t tell them anything, Dad,” Cole said, afraid if too many people knew of Kai it might endanger him.
Elijah smiled at him. “Don’t fret, son. I may be old, but I am not senile.”
Cole scoffed. “You aren’t old.”
His father didn’t look anywhere near close to his age. A few wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and a smattering of graying hair at his temples were the only things indicative of his father’s years.
“Rest easy, Cole. Why don’t you go on home and spend time with your mate? I will call you if I find out anything.”
Cole tensed at the mention of returning home but stood anyway, giving his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Once he cleared the front steps, he shifted and loped toward home, taking his time out of sheer reluctance to face the rejection waiting for him.