Chapter 9
Vae
PAST
Deacon skates on the ice like he was born to do it. He flies across it; he makes it look effortless and easy.
He told me that when he was on the ice, he could fly; I didn’t really believe him, but I can see it now. I’m jealous because I want to fly, too, but I can’t fly like he does. The ice and I are like a combination made in Hell. I turn from an elegant teen into a damn health hazard.
“Look, see. I told you, isn’t he hot?”
I glance at the group of girls beside me. One of them is an emerging omega, and I just know my boys are going to be alphas when they present.
Deacon filled out. He’s hot now.
I feel a strange mix of pride and jealousy.
But for the moment, he’s mine.
***
PRESENT
“Vae, I need you to come in and deal with this before I sack the pair of them.” Coach Wallace is in a wrathful mood, and since he’s calling me, I can guess exactly who has set him off.
“We’ve got a week until we’re on the ice, one week until we play for our lives, and those…
those brats are out there burning everything I worked for to the ground! ” he bellows.
I grimace and gesture to the cleaners to continue working.
“What’s going on?” I ask meekly.
“Well, as near as I can figure out, these two idiots are throwing tantrums,” he snaps, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
I close my eyes. “What do you mean, tantrums?”
“Get your ass down here, Vae; this is what she hired you to do.”
I pocket my phone and turn to the cleaning crew. “Hey, Sonya? I’ll be back. I have to sort this out. It’s time-sensitive.”
Sonya, the woman in charge, gives me a half smile. “Ah, gone to rescue those boys of yours?” She flips me a knowing grin and pauses in her sweeping. “You should take that new house and never come back.”
I lift a hand and wave to her as I laugh anxiously at what she says. How did she know I was leaving? She’s not wrong, though. I call them in to clear up this pigsty, and they see better than anyone what the boys can be like. If I wasn’t so in love, I think I might expire of humiliation.
This job was an insane idea to start with; why did I agree to do it? Deacon is going to kill me.
The drive feels like it takes forever, but, far too soon, I’m finally walking into the arena. The assistant coach, Ares Wilde, pulls me off to the side where I can see the ice, but it would be hard to see me.
His expression is grim, and, I swear, he’s aged about ten years. He gestures to a seat, and I sit while he leans over me, a clipboard in hand. He smells nice; his deodorant is something with a calming quality and masks his natural scent.
“Right, I’ve been told to give you a rundown. So far today, Deacon has arrived late. He did not follow his diet, started a fight with the equipment manager, and misplaced his cup. He then spent twenty minutes with the janitor before he could even be bothered showing up for practice.”
I’m going to kill him.
I blink at Ares. He’s known for being no nonsense and completely black and white when it comes to the game. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile. He’s smart, though, and fiercely loyal to this club.
“Right,” I murmur, looking down at the ice. “Deacon’s a pain, but I think I can get through to him-”
“Deacon isn’t why we called you,” Ares snaps.
I snap my mouth shut and sit back down on the plastic seats.
“It would appear that Malcolm is taking…whatever this is hard. He’s been surly at work, and his temper has now got a hair trigger, but today has been that much worse.
He started a fight with two other players, and then he and Deacon got into it.
Blows were exchanged. There was some yelling, and your name came up a lot. ”
I put my face in my hands. “Shit.”
“Did something happen?”
I whip my head towards the assistant coach and find his probing eyes boring into me like he’s trying to discern all my secrets.
“Uh, no. Well, I mean, kind of. I had to have a talk with them about the fact that I am not returning. And I moved out.”
I feel about an inch tall under his heavy gaze. It’s not accusing, not yet, but it’s not friendly either.
“You need to sort this shit out now. I don’t approve of what’s going on. If this were my team, I would have dumped their asses; it doesn’t matter how wonderfully gifted they are on the ice.”
“This is my fault,” I say in protest. “I did this to them; give me a few weeks to fix it.”
“How is their behaviour on the ice your fault?” he snaps.
“They are adult alphas who choose their own behaviour, and you do them no favours, blaming yourself and taking their responsibilities. Coach has given you the time. It’s not my call, but just know I am heavily campaigning for their removal from the team. ”
My heart that was in my mouth plummets to my gut. I want to be angry with him and defend them, but I know we’re past all that. They need to stop sabotaging their career, and I need to stop blaming myself. It’s a damn disgusting habit I can’t break.
I sit there as he walks off, his back rigid. The cold of the rink sinks into me, and I wish I’d remembered to grab my jacket.
They are skating, doing drills where they skate in a half circle on one leg, then switch to the other.
A whistle blows, and everyone drops and does pushups.
After a minute, another whistle blows, and they start jumping on the ice.
It doesn’t look hard, but I know how much effort goes into the incredible control and strength each and every player has.
Every now and then, I spot the aggressive movements of Mal and Deacon. There are no more clashes on the ice, but they aren’t happy. I can tell they aren’t happy.
I chew my thumbnail as I try to come up with a plan. I need to have some kind of carrot to go with the stick. The problem is the what. It’s going to be different for all three of them. But Deacon is smart, and he won’t be interested in anything I have to offer if he thinks I’m trying to trick him.
I stand up and head out as they all head down to the locker rooms. I need some fresh air and warmth. The pressure lifts a little when I find the sunshine. It doesn’t seem so impossible out here. I find my car and sit on the bonnet.
“What are you doing here, Vae?”
I close my eyes as Raynor’s soft drawl crawls up my spine.
The memories of last night’s dreams return with a vengeance, and I have to fight them off.
It’s become a thing lately, where I’m lying in Raynor’s bed, staring at him, and then he slides down, his hands on my hips, rolling me onto my back as Mal leans in and licks my neck.
Deacon crawls onto the bed, and just when he’s about to touch me, I wake up. It’s maddening.
Raynor sits beside me and bumps my shoulder. I startle out of my thoughts of those awful dreams.
“Why are you here?”
“We’re going to go shopping,” I say and instantly groan. That was a poor choice. Shopping is Hell on Earth with these three.
Raynor snorts. “Still going to keep trying to keep up this charade, are you?”
I tilt my head back and smile up at the sky. “I’m not leaving you behind.” If I reassure them enough, maybe they will hear me.
“But you kind of are. Isn’t that what the moving-out thing is?”
My temper peaks, and I push off the bonnet and stalk away from him. “Me leaving you? Isn’t that what you did to me first?”
Raynor gets up slowly, with catlike grace. His gaze sharp. “Do you think that? How?” he shoots back.
I step back, circling away from him as he follows me. His smile is crooked, and irritates me further.
“How? You have an entire life, and I’m just…” I look away, furious with him and myself. “I’m your maid. I’m nothing. The only reason you three are upset I’m gone is because your orderly life is falling apart. Who will feed you, make sure you get up on time, clean up your house, do your washing?”
“That’s not true, Vae, and you know it.”
I snarl at him, but he moves quicker than I can think, boxing me against the driver’s side door of my car. I shove at his arm, but he’s impossible to move. He might not be as muscled as Deacon and Mal, but Raynor works out.
“Let me out.”
“No.”
“Raynor, let me go!” I snarl at him.
He leans in, his pupils dilating. “Vae, darling, what perfume are you wearing?”
The blood in my head drains so fast it leaves me weak. I fight against him, pure panic coursing through my veins, but he’s immovable.
“Did you borrow something from a friend?”
I still, unable to believe what he’s asking me. He thinks I’m wearing something else? That the perfume isn’t mine? I should be relieved, but I’m even more furious.
I press my lips together and stare at the shiny button on his shirt.
“You smell like honeycomb candy.”
I lift my eyes, finding his gaze, my anger fizzing out as anticipation grabs me in a chokehold. “Raynor…”
He twists his lips and studies me with questions I can’t answer.
“Oh, look, our jailer is here. Have you come to make sure we behave?”
I glance away from Raynor and find Deacon glaring at me. Mal brushes past him and drags me into his arms.
“I’m taking you shopping,” I say quickly but relax and lean into Mal.
Deacon pauses, his expression getting hard. “Nope-”
“I wasn’t asking, Deacon.”
“I’d like to see you attempt it.” Deacon smiles like he’s won already.
I want to stomp a foot or hit him or both. “What do you want, Deacon?” I ask guardedly. I know full well how to play this game.
He advances towards me even as Mal eases back. I find myself surrounded by the three of them. I’m not afraid, but I’m very aware of the tension and the dangerous edge that it has.
“A kiss.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“If you want me to come to the shops and play this game with you, then I want a kiss. A proper one.”
Mal’s hand tightens on my waist.
“Deacon, you have a girlfriend-”
“Actually, I don’t. She dumped me last night, so,” he ducks his head down to my level, “you’re free to kiss me without threat. If you’re brave enough, Hook.”
I snarl.
He grins back, reaching out a hand to brush his thumb over my bottom lip. “I’ve dreamed about this. So, what’s it going to be?”
Being kissed will make it all worse, but I need to get them to do this. Their careers are on the line. What did he mean he’s dreamed about it?
I lunge forward, sealing my lips to his before he can change his mind.
Big mistake.
The hugest mistake.
The second his lips move against mine, I know that I’ve destroyed any chance of ever finding happiness outside this pack. All the years, all our fights, happy moments, the sad, all of it comes down to this one moment, and I know he is my endgame.
Why haven’t we done this before?
I lose myself in the kiss, the way he leisurely takes control, teasing and drawing it out until I’m clinging to him, and I’ve forgotten everything but him. My Deacon, my Lost Boy.
Mine.
I rip my mouth from his and step back, straight into Mal, who pulls me into his arms.
Deacon is staring at me with what looks like a hint of surprise in his eyes, but the rest of his expression confuses me and makes me want to run and hide.
He looks hungry, like a wild wolf.
“Okay, so let’s go shopping.”
Deacon shrugs. “Sure, a deal’s a deal.”
***
I close my eyes and lean on the trolley. I should have worded that deal better. Deacon did come shopping, but he’s acting like he’s three years old.
He’s grabbing everything in sight, has filled up two and a half trolleys, and opened four bags of chips just to try them.
This is a game. I know he’s doing it just to drive me nuts.
I need to think about how to beat him.
Raynor is clearly bored and is just ambling along behind me, but Mal is actively throwing stuff from the trolley, and he’s pushing it back onto shelves with muttered snarls directed at Deacon.
“The carrot or the stick,” I mutter. I side-eye Raynor and whistle at Mal. “Do you two want to help me teach Deacon a lesson?”
Raynor cocks his head to the side. “What do you have in mind?”
“It’s simple,” I say, watching as Mal puts things back. “I want to show him what his bad behaviour is losing him.”
I stalk over to Mal, pressing myself up against his chest. I thread my fingers through his hair and draw his head down to mine.
Mal lifts me up like I weigh nothing. He almost purrs into my mouth as he devours me. If Deacon is possession, then Mal is pure seduction. I’m lost in his skill, in the way he makes me feel tiny and seen.
I don’t ever want this to end.
Alarm bells are screaming, but I ignore them.
I pull back with difficulty, but the idea of punishing Deacon has evaporated from my mind. I feel unsteady and unsure.
Mandy was wrong. I’m not going to jump out of boiling water. I’m just going to boil to death.
“Are we fucking in aisle three now?” Deacon asks with a wicked wink.
I didn’t think this through at all.
Raynor shoves him towards the trolley. “Let’s go.”
I follow them silently. I’m not sure who won this, but I feel confident it wasn’t me. Deacon’s stopped being an idiot, though, so maybe we both lost.
Mal keeps glancing at me, but I can’t read him. I can’t read any of them anymore.
We’re in line, and Deacon and Mal are arguing when Raynor leans down and whispers in my ear.
“When you kiss me, it’s not going to be because of a game to get Deacon to behave. When I kiss you, you’re not going to be thinking about him at all.”
My mouth drops open, but Raynor gives me a mock salute and walks out of the shops, leaving us all behind.